Fumbled Hearts (A Tender Hearts Novel)

by Meagan Brandy

  “So, you don’t even love him?” Olivia whispers in a broken voice.

  “Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Kalani’s voice booms.

  “You’re going to hurt him!” Olivia shouts. “You’re acting like money is everything!”

  “Money is everything!” Kalani shouts right back.

  “So, you don’t love him. How could you say that?” Olivia yells.

  “Because it’s the truth!”

  I fly off the chair and rush into the bathroom, doubling over, as the contents of my stomach splash into the toilet.

  Money is everything? She doesn’t love me?

  What. The. Fuck.

  More vomit makes its way up my throat.

  A soft hand finds my bare back, rubbing small circles in attempt to comfort me, but all it does is make me feel sicker.

  “Go, Olivia. I need a minute here,” I grumble into the porcelain throne.

  “I don’t think you should be alone right now, Nate. I know this hurts you,” she whispers in a somber tone. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Right,” I scoff, reaching past her to flip on the shower. “‘Cause you’re all tore up about it.” I toss my hat on the countertop, turning to face her. “You been waiting for this.”

  She smirks slightly, stepping closer to me. “Maybe I have.” Her hand slides down my chest. “But that doesn’t mean I wanted you to get hurt in the process.” She leans into me. “Let me make you feel better,” she murmurs, brushing her tits across my chest, making sure I feel her hardened nipples through her thin swim top.

  I let my eyes rake over her nearly naked body, following her long shape in her hot pink bikini, and bring my eyes back to hers. I drop my trunks to the floor, watching her grow hungry, and maybe a little vindicated.

  “Let yourself out.” I step into the shower, slamming the glass door behind me.

  It only takes a few seconds for the bathroom door to close behind her.

  My head instantly drops to the tiled walls.

  Kalani.

  My beautiful, broken, blue-eyed girl…is a lying fucking bitch, caught red-handed.

  What. The. Fuck.

  After stepping into my heels, I smooth my dress over my hips, and turn to look myself over in the mirror.

  The dress is a fire engine red, with see through lace shoulders. The front is nice, the lace dropping down onto a V-neck cut, showing just enough cleavage to drive Nate crazy, but the back is my favorite. The lace lays from my shoulders to an inch above my ass, so my tan skin is visible through the material, making a bra impossible to wear. It’s tight and slinky, and ends a few inches down my thighs.

  I paired it with some five-inch black heels and diamond studded earrings. My dark hair is down with big beach waves, and I winged my black eyeliner. The final touch is a long-lasting matte lipstick in the exact shade to match the dress, and bam. I’m ready to get tonight’s party started.

  Grabbing a granola bar off the counter, I toss pieces in my mouth, just in case my lipstick has yet to dry, and pick up my phone to text Mia, letting her know I’m grabbing Nate and we’ll be in the lobby in five.

  She texts right back.

  Meems: uh-huh, we’ll see about that. No hanky panky. We’re already down here having a drink. Hurry up.

  I toss my phone to the bed, deciding I don’t want to bother with it tonight, grab my room key and cash, and head out the door.

  Nate’s room is only a few doors down the hall, so I’m knocking in seconds.

  It takes a good minute, then the door flies open and a scowling Nate looks down at me.

  “Hey.” I see he’s still wrapped in a towel, water dripping down his solid chest. When I reach to brush it off, his hand grips my wrist.

  My gaze flies to his, hoping to find that dilated look his brown eyes get when I’m near, but instead I find a set of dark ones, hard around the edges, glaring down at me.

  He tosses my wrist away from him with force.

  “Uh…” I cut my eyes left, then back to his. “What’s going on?” I frown. “You look pissed, and you’re not ready to go. Everyone’s waiting down-”

  My voice cuts off when his smirk turns vile and predatory, his hand dropping from the door frame.

  I take a step back and he lets his door fall open the rest of the way.

  My eyes find her like a truck driver would at a pit spot.

  She’s laying on her stomach, her fake blond hair laying over her shoulder, while she kicks her feet in the air casually, her naked ass bouncing slightly with the movement.

  Olivia rests her head on her propped elbow and uses her fingers to wave at me from Nate’s bed.

  And I just stand there, my eyes roaming her naked, perfect body, that’s on top of my boyfriend’s bed.

  I force my gaze away from her, locking eyes with a Nate I haven’t seen in a long time.

  His stance is loose and comfortable. Confident. His face relaxed and collected. Arrogant and privileged.

  This is Nate Monroe, the star quarterback, playboy extraordinaire.

  A stranger.

  I nod, my eyes never leaving his, a laugh bubbling out of me like vomit, because this is so beyond fucked up and I have no idea how to even begin to process this. I’ve never been let down by anyone based on choice, and the sudden hollowness in my chest gives me no help in deciding how I’m supposed to act.

  “She must have come in here with a really good plan, considering I didn’t see this coming.” I shrug, tipping my head slightly. “But I guess that’s the best kind of play, right?” My eyes flit between his. “The ones you never see coming. The ones you can’t read.” I laugh again. “Those are the ones that win a football game.”

  I take a step back, my eyes cutting to Liv’s and that smirking face I want to ram my heel into. “I definitely didn’t see this one coming. And I’m all about defense.”

  “Yeah, well,” he seethes. “Never figured you for a scheming bitch, either. So, I guess we’re on the same page, huh, Lolli?”

  Lolli. Ouch.

  A sad smile graces my lips and I hate myself for being unable to wipe it away. “What’d I tell you, Handsome?”

  His entitled eyes and self-assured face morphs, tightening around the edges and pinching between his eyes at my question. Or maybe it’s the broken tone the words left me in.

  “In the beginning?” I stare at him. “I said, if there was ever something you needed to know, ask, and I wouldn’t lie to you.” His face falls.

  “Yeah,” I nod. “You remember.”

  My eyes shift back to the bimbo who, somewhere along the way, grew some self-respect and covered herself with a pillow.

  The hole in my chest widens.

  I look back to Nate. “I’m gonna go meet my friends and enjoy my night. You two do the same.”

  With that, I turn and walk away, rushing through the elevator doors at the end of the hall before my brain has a chance to process what the fuck just happened.

  One thing is for sure.

  I’m getting fucked up tonight.

  “About freaking time!” Mia shouts, throwing her hands in the air when I walk in to the lobby bar. “Wait. Where’s Nate?” Her eyes search my face and she hops off the stool, rushing to stand in front of me.

  “Lolli?” Her brows pinch.

  I hold up my hand to silence her, startling Parker when I yank his drink from his hand and toss it back.

  He looks me over, appreciating my ensemble, then attempts to lock eyes with me, but I turn to the bartender, signaling for another one of whatever I just drank.

  Jarrod laughs from beside him, and my eyes cut to him.

  “You made it, huh?” I ask, not giving a shit, but trying to get the attention off me.

  He smirks, his covetous gaze raking over me. “I did.”

  I nod and pick up my new drink, downing it in seconds.

  “Lolli Bear?” Parker’s quiet words and soft touch against my arm have my iced-over heart thawing slightly and I force my eyes to his, feeling the
emotions start to finally catch up to me. “Where is Nate?” he asks sternly, somehow knowing he won’t like the answer.

  “Probably balls deep in Olivia by now.”

  His brows shoot into his hairline and Mia yanks me around.

  “What?!” she shrieks, and Parker shoots out from behind me.

  I run the few feet to catch up to him. “Hero, no!” When he doesn’t stop, I jump in front of him, wrapping my arms around his stomach. “Parker, stop.”

  His chest is heaving, his fists clenching at his sides.

  When I look up, he turns his face away from mine.

  “Look at me.”

  He refuses.

  “Hero,” I say softly. “Look at me. Please.”

  Reluctantly, he turns his icy blues to me and I watch them chill as they roam my face. “Lolli Bear. Let me go,” he begs, bringing his hands up to cup my face, his breathing heavy. “He doesn’t get to do this to you.”

  I smile, squeezing him tighter. “Let’s go eat and have some fun.”

  His face constricts, his eyes searching my face once more.

  With a curt nod, he steps away and we walk back into the lounge.

  “What the fuck is going on, Lolli?” Mia demands, but when I turn my vacant stare on her, she bites her lip and nods, tears making her green eyes gleam.

  That’s the end of this conversation.

  By the time we make it back to the bar at our resort, we’ve lost half of our partygoers, so it’s just Mia, Parker, Alyssa, me, and my best friend tonight, good old Jack Daniels.

  “Shouldn’t we be drinking,” Alyssa hiccups, then laughs, “Captain Morgan or something, since we’re on the sea or whatever.”

  Mia tosses back another shot. “We’re not on a cruise, dumbass.”

  We all laugh at that, because it’s just so funny.

  “Come on, Mia.” Alyssa stands on wobbly pink heels, throwing her arm around Mia. “Let’s go cuddle and go to bed.”

  “’Kay,” Mia slurs and they walk off, not bothering to say good night.

  I drop my head onto the countertop, watching people get down on the dance floor to the slow, wind-down music the bar’s playing.

  Parker rubs my lower back. “You ’bout ready, Lolli Bear?” he asks me gently.

  I shake my head no.

  The shock from tonight’s events is starting to wear off as reality and unwelcome emotions fight their way to the surface. The last thing I want to do is go back to my empty room with the night closing in on me like a wave, spinning me round and round. Giving me a glimpse of the surface, only to drown me in the end. “You can go. If you want.”

  He shakes his head, his sad blue eyes on mine, and holds his hand out for me to take.

  A sloppy smile forms on my lips and I place my hand in his, letting him walk us to the dance floor where we slow dance to a few songs.

  With a deep sigh, Parker whispers into my ear, “Happy Birthday, Lolli Bear.”

  His tone is so soft and low, and I know he can feel it; my resolve, withering. My heart cracking open. It’s coming, the break before the fall, before my body shuts down, freezing everything inside me.

  And I can’t wait for it; the numbness. Because right now, I feel like I’m dying.

  As if the soul-crushing feeling isn’t enough, Nate walks through the door, the blood-sucking blonde in his shadow.

  He looks like shit. Rough and wrinkled. Probably from rolling around in the sheets with his whore.

  He’s such a handsome prick.

  His eyes lock with mine and he has the decency to tense for a moment, then the nerve to scowl at Parker’s hands around my waist.

  Dick.

  I pull Parker to the bar for more numbing juice.

  This time, I ask the short, pudgy guy to leave the bottle.

  Parker saw Nate. I know he did because he’s doing his best to shield me from his view. It’s a futile attempt, because I can feel him. Feel his stare, his presence, his everything, as always.

  The universe must really fucking hate me, because right then, Christina Aguilera’s “Just a Fool” streams through the speakers. Listening to her words, I realize that’s what I’ve been. A fool in the worst way. I should have known how it would all go down in the end the moment I laid eyes on the drunken playboy that very first night.

  Thinking I could open up, love someone and be loved back. Have the little bit of normalcy in my life when I’m anything but a normal nineteen-year-old girl…it was a rookie move, for sure. I’m a multi-millionaire with her name on the most successful sports photography company, not to mention the co-owner of the San Diego Tomahawks.

  A sad laugh escapes me and I take another swig from the bottle.

  Parker looks at me, his eyes pinched, at loss of what to say, or do.

  That makes two of us.

  I go to step off the stool, but stumble, falling halfway to the floor before he catches me.

  I laugh and lean into him, closing my eyes in attempt to block out the lyrics.

  Just like in the song, I should have kept my mouth shut. I never should have opened up and allowed Nate to embed himself inside me, to wake me up and bring out all this cheesy, Lifetime movie shit. I should have stayed locked up tight, emotionless and empty. Life is so much easier that way.

  “Lolli?” Parker whispers, his knuckle gently bringing my gaze to his when he feels my body start to quake. “You alright?”

  I pull myself out of his arms, twisting to grab the bottle from the sticky counter top. Bringing it to my lips, I take another swig, watching Parker’s brows drop in concern.

  I push off the bar and take a few steps toward the dance floor, but stumble again.

  This time, four hands reach out to steady me, one set heating my skin despite the situation. I shove away from Nate, and settle into Parker’s tense arms.

  Nate head jerks back, shock flashing across his features before he erases it and scowls at Parker. “How much you let her drink?”

  “None of your damn business!” I shout drunkenly, spitting on that stupid dress shirt that looks so good on him. “Don’t fucking concern your piece-of-shit self with me, Nate.”

  His eyes fly to mine, and I think I see remorse in them, maybe a little confusion and hurt, but definitely a dash of uncertainty. Too bad my brain shuts that shit down real quick, and flashes a picture of Liv’s perfect ass, naked on Nate’s bed, in front of my eyes instead.

  His gaze cuts to Parker. “She’s trashed.”

  “You’re the cause,” he throws back, through clenched teeth.

  “And I’m right here,” I slur, bringing the bottle to my lips again.

  “Give me that,” Nate demands.

  “Uh,” I cut my glance to the side and back quickly, “no.”

  “Kalani,” he growls. “Give me the bottle before I take the damn thing.”

  I tuck it into my chest, but Nate’s quick, pulling it from my hands in seconds.

  “I’ll never let go, Jack…” I slur, laughing as he yanks the whiskey from my grip, the force sending me stumbling right back into Parker’s arms.

  “Come on,” Nate grumbles, reaching for me. “I’ll take you to your room to sleep this shit off.”

  A harsh laugh leaves me and I rip my arm from his, fire searing through my veins and threatening to set me aflame. “Get. The fuck. Away from me, you rat bastard.” I shove him sloppily, as fruitless as it may be. “You have zero claim to me and zero right to worry about what I’m doing.”

  “Don’t stand there and act like this is me!” he screams, his face inches from mine, his breathing out of control.

  My foggy eyes roam his face, looking for nothing in particular, but finding the tick of his jaw, the vein at his temple protruding. His eyelids are even shaking.

  He’s pissed.

  My hand twitches to reach out and comfort him, to wipe the frown away, but again, Liv’s ass flashes in my head, along with the thoughts of what they probably did once I left, or before I got there.

  The sadde
st part…that’s not even what’s killing me inside, him being with her.

  Nate didn’t trust in me. He didn’t believe in me, at least not enough to stop and consider that maybe whatever the bitch threw at him was false. He could have – more than likely, did - fucked her repeatedly tonight, and it still wouldn’t compare to the third-rate feeling slicing through me right now.

  Focusing on each step, I turn away from Nate and head for the door.

  As soon as the warm, salty air hits my face, I take a deep breath. Grabbing onto the railing a few feet in front of the club, I bend at the waist, trying my damndest to keep everything in.

  “Come on, Lolli.” Parker’s hand closes gently around my forearm. “Let’s-”

  “I said, I had her!” Nate shouts, his voice growing closer.

  I turn just in time to see him shove Parker away from me, but Parker’s quick and in Nate’s face just as fast.

  “Had!” Parker shouts, pointing a finger into Nate’s chest. “Key word, Nate!” Parker steps further into his space. “Had,” he repeats, knocking noses with him.

  “Don’t fuck with me right now, Baylor.” Nate’s lip curls, his words leaving him in a deep, low rumble from within his chest. “I won’t hesitate to lay you on your ass.”

  Parker scoffs, not moving an inch, and Nate’s dark eyes narrow.

  “I’m taking her to her room,” he says like his words are law and we’re supposed to bow-fucking-down and listen.

  They both turn to me when a humorless, dead laugh passes my dry lips. I smirk, leaning my back against the metal beam, letting my eyes roam over Nate, from his black boots to his black eyes.

  I tilt my head slightly, a sickening smile on my lips. “Look at him, Hero.” Nate’s teeth grind together. “Trying to be all noble.” I spit out the last word, pushing off the railing, and step up to them, my chest brushing both their arms as they stay rooted in their standoff. “You’re not a knight in shining fucking armor, asshole.”

  I take a step closer and Parker makes the right move by taking a step back, letting me run the show.

  “You’re a weak, insecure bastard who walks around pretending you’re not.” I cast my eyes down his form, trying my best to make him feel as disgusted with himself as I am in me at this moment. For believing in him. In us. “Not even man enough to ask your fucking,” I lift my fingers to use air quotes like a bratty teenager, “girlfriend for the truth to whatever story she cooked up, but instead, deciding to believe the school slut looking for the first jock strap to drag her along.” I shake my head, stumbling a bit as I step back.