Giving In to You

by L. M. Carr

  The heavy sky completely opens up, her floodgates opening without apology. Within seconds, we are both sopping wet. Looking around for shelter, Adam grabs my hands and pulls me under a tall pine tree. I crash into his hard body when he stops abruptly, pushing me against the tree. Adam’s face is unbelievably breathtaking when he smiles. His fingers push the wet hair away from my face before tucking it behind my ear. I feel the pad of his thumb touch my earlobe, tugging it gently.

  “Kiss me,” he commands.

  “No.”

  “Okay. I’ll kiss you then.”

  “No.”

  “Why not?” he challenges.

  “Because...I said so.”

  “Tell me you’re not attracted to me and I’ll leave you alone.”

  I want nothing more to tell him that he’s wrong about the attraction, but I can’t. I want him more than I’ve ever wanted anyone in my life. But he has trouble written all over him and I need to steer clear of trouble. It would never work. What the hell am I thinking? What the hell is he thinking?

  My resolve is strong. “I won’t lie to you. You are gorgeous and yes, I’m attracted to you, but I can’t do this.” I continue on, “I don’t sleep around.”

  Adam reaches for my hand, drawing me away from the tree and into him. His dark eyes are serious. “Listen to me. I’m sorry if I came on too strong, but I won’t apologize for wanting you. I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you sitting in traffic behind me.”

  I stare at him, contemplating the words he’s just said. What’s he talking about? He saw me sitting in traffic? “I’m not sure I understand. When did you see me in traffic?” I feel his fingers stroke my cheek before he leans down to shower my neck with light kisses. My eyes flutter to a close as I angle my neck, allowing him better access. My God, I don’t stand a chance.

  “It was about a month ago. You blew your horn at me and when I looked in my rearview mirror, I saw you. You had a red ball cap on and…you were talking to yourself.” He laughs. “You looked pretty pissed, but then your face softened when you looked over at your dog.” We both glance at Brady. “There was something about the way you looked at him. It was intriguing.”

  I am at a complete loss for words. I remember the incident he’s talking about—it was the day I drove home from Texas. Traffic was heavy because of construction and then the vehicle in front of me wouldn’t proceed through the green light. It was him? Thank God I was in town. Who knows what hand gestures I would’ve sent flying his way if we had been on the open road.

  A moment of lucidity strikes me and I straighten my head, denying the earlier access. “Maybe I should be flattered, but I’m not. You don’t even know me and I’m not interested in having a one night stand with you.”

  “One night?” he asks with a sly smile on his face. “I couldn’t do all the things I want to do to you in one night.”

  “Do you hear yourself?” I ask belligerently, anger starting to boil to the surface.

  “I know what I want. I want you.”

  Again, Devin’s words “I chose you” ring loud and clear. Goosebumps pebble on my forearms, sending shivers down my spine.

  “Wait, so that’s how this works? You ‘want’ me so I’m supposed to be so flattered that I drop my panties and spread my legs for you?”

  I think I’ve stunned him because he says nothing in response. Dark eyes flash to meet mine.

  “So what, no wining and dining? Straight to fucking?” I bark at him.

  “That dirty mouth! The things I could do with that.” Narrowed eyes smile at me.

  Another flash of lightning hits the town below.

  “Fuck this,” I mumble under my breath. “I’m outta here.” I step away from him, getting ready to leave.

  “Stop. Come with me. Come back to my place.”

  “You stop! This,” my hand waves back and forth between us, “whatever you think this is, isn’t going to happen.” My voice rises to be heard over the monsoon surrounding us. I push my wet hair back away from my face as anger wells up inside of me. “I’m not that girl. I told you! I’m not interested in being one of your ‘fuck ‘em and chuck ‘em’ girls!”

  Adam stares at me as if he’s trying to figure something out, his eyes blinking slowly. “But that night...you were at the club…”

  Rain runs down Adam’s body, showcasing his defined chest and hard abs. I want nothing more at this moment than to grab him and kiss him again. I’m sure he can see my pebbled nipples right through my shirt.

  Adam steps forward again to pull me in, but I turn quickly, calling Brady to follow and run as fast as my legs will carry me. The need to get away from someone has never been stronger than it is right now. My vision is hazy because salty tears and hard rain merge, soaking my face, blurring my eyes. I fall once, smashing my knee on a rock, leaving a line of blood dripping down my leg. How I manage to trek down with only a scraped knee surprises me.

  I SWITCH MY dismissal duty from afternoon to the morning arrivals just so I don’t have to see Adam face to face. But that doesn’t really matter because from my classroom window, I watch him every afternoon as he walks with his children to the black Escalade. I still see him in my dreams every night.

  Later that day, I make phone calls to the parents, reminding and encouraging them to attend our upcoming “Meet the Teacher Night.” During my lunch period, I manage to call half of the parents, but the others can wait until I get home. I don’t think twice about calling from my cell phone—I’ve known most of these parents for years.

  I dial. I hang up. I dial again. I hang up again. My heart pounds at the thought of having to talk to him. I know that as some point I’m going to have to talk to him again, his daughter is in my class after all. Thankfully, when I call the only number listed for Adam, a New York cell phone number, the recording says that the voicemail is full and cannot accept messages. Whew! Thank the Lord for small miracles! I look at Brady. “I guess I’ll just have to write him a note. What do you think, boy?” He barks in agreement.

  A beautiful spray of colorful wild orchids arrives at the office for me on Thursday. Flowers for me? I never get flowers. It’s not my birthday and I don’t have a special anniversary. Well, not one that I celebrate any way. It’s not uncommon for Shelby to receive flowers from Mike. He’s a romantic guy who’s not afraid to show his love for his girl. He sends flowers for all the usual occasions, birthday, holidays and even “Just because” days. Oh, you should hear the terrible names she gets called when those get delivered. It’s actually pretty funny.

  I carry the beautiful arrangement back to my room. The white envelope boasts my last name, declaring that the flowers are in fact mine. I grin, letting a small chuckle escape, when I read the simple words written in block letters: “STOP AVOIDING ME.”

  Adam’s messages via phone calls to the office have been in vain. I have no desire to talk to him. He crossed the line when he slipped a note into Madison’s folder for me. That, too, was unsuccessful. I was avoiding him. He wants to fuck me and probably chuck me and he wasn’t shy about it.

  The flowers may or may not have softened my tenacity. After finally admitting that I am being ridiculous because I’m going to see him all year, I stand tall and remind myself that I am an adult, capable of having a conversation with him. I am determined to face him this afternoon and act as though nothing ever happened. No kissing. No touching. No wanting.

  When the end of the day rolls around, I offer to fulfill my afternoon dismissal duty. I stand by the table, waiting for him to appear. My eyes stray to the door every few minutes. I hope to see him before he sees me. I feel like I’ll be better prepared for the rush of energy that will no doubt course through my veins if I see him first. Unfortunately, the opportunity to see him or hear his sexy voice never comes because Gina picks up his children.

  The walk back to my classroom is slow and quiet. The flowers perched on my desk mock me. I feel despondent—disappointment instead of excitement flows through me. Why would he
send me flowers and then not come in today? Why would he pursue me if he’s with her? Is this a game to him? I must be his new toy that will be discarded when he’s done playing.

  After I pack up my bags, turn off the lights, and tap out a response to Shane’s text from earlier in the day asking to see me again, I nearly collide with a hard chest rounding the hallway corner. “Oh, sorry.” I glance up from my phone.

  Adam stands almost a head above me, dressed in a crisp, pale-pink button down shirt loosened at the collar, cuffs rolled up and grey dress pants. His hands reach out to steady me, grasping my shoulders firmly.

  “Hi.” He smiles tentatively.

  “Hey.” I smile sheepishly.

  “Did you get the flowers I sent?” His eyes drop to my arms, carrying only my bag and phone.

  “I did…thank you.” I smile and drop my phone into my bag, ignoring the incoming text alert. “They’re really beautiful.”

  We stand there in the hallway, staring at each other.

  “Why do you keep running away from me?” he asks.

  “I don’t know.” I lie, dropping my gaze to the tile floor. I know exactly why. I want to tell him how my heart has been shattered and that I’m afraid to let anyone in. I want to tell him that a guy like him is bad for a girl like me.

  “You don’t know?” His words are wary.

  I don’t answer, my eyes looking everywhere but at his. I feel my resolve quickly fading away when I finally look at him. He’s beautiful and sexy and I want to have all kinds of wild passionate sex with him. I want to reach up and kiss his mouth fiercely, taking what I need from him. But at what cost? Are a few moments of lust worth the pain that will surely follow?

  “Come for a drink with me.” His dark eyes bore into mine. “One drink,” he promises, holding up his index finger. He’s so damn irresistible and just like that, I surrender the fight and wave the white flag, ignoring the red flags that are warning me away, telling me to retreat.

  A huge sigh escapes me. “Okay, but you can’t tell anyone. I do have a reputation to uphold,” I tease.

  I need to get home to let Brady out. I ask him where he’d like to meet, but he insists on driving. Adam follows me home so I can drop off my Jeep and let Brady take care of business. He drives closely behind me, talking on his phone the entire time. The curious part of me wonders who he’s talking to. His face looks so serious, agitated even. Maybe it’s the redheaded woman from the club or the blonde from the bar. Even worse, maybe it’s Gina. Or maybe, just maybe, I need to mind my own damn business. The sensible part of me wants to jump on the highway and speed away from him. I’m sure he’ll catch me—his SUV is way faster than my Jeep. What am I thinking? Am I really going to allow myself to be another notch on his bedpost?

  I pull into my driveway, Adam follows. He cuts off the engine, steps out, and strides confidently over to me. “Nice place.” I don’t have to look back to know he’s following me through the back door into my kitchen. Once inside, his eyes wander around my home, a small smile on his face. “It’s…cozy.”

  “Umm…okay, thanks, I think.” My lips tighten with reservation. Cozy? What the hell is that supposed to mean? My home isn’t new; it’s worn, showing signs of being well-loved. I can only imagine what the place Adam calls home looks like. I’m sure there are expensive luxury furnishings in every room. I bet he even has a housekeeper who keeps his place immaculate. I don’t think I could live in a museum.

  “I meant it as a compliment.” He grins timidly. How the hell did he know what I was thinking? Maybe he is a mind reader.

  “Okay. In that case, thank you.” I nod and step back when I call Brady.

  Brady yelps loudly as he crashes into and through my legs. I think he’s happy to have me home.

  “Can I get you something to drink?” I ask, hanging up my work bag on the hook by the door.

  “No, thanks,” he declines. “I’ll wait outside.”

  Have I offended him in some way? He wasn’t in my house for three minutes and he bolted for the door. I move to change out of my work clothes. I kick off my black ballet flats and climb the stairs two at a time. Adrenaline courses through my body. My favorite pair of jeans fit perfectly, paired with an off the shoulder black top, complete with peep-toe heels. My hair falls into waves after running a brush through it. I reapply some blush and lip gloss. Five minutes flat, I’m ready to go.

  Before I push the creaky screen door open, I stand there silently, gawking shamelessly at Adam throwing Brady’s tattered tennis ball deep into the backyard toward the lake. Through his dress shirt, the muscles in his back show definition as he raises his arm to throw the ball. His legs, long and strong, strain in his dress pants. God, he really is a fine specimen. He turns around at my appearance, his eyes sparkling with delight when he sees I’ve changed.

  “Wow. That was fast! You look great!”

  Feeling slightly embarrassed at the compliment, I simply reply, “Thanks…you ready to go?”

  “Definitely.” He squats down to rub Brady’s head one last time. “See ya, buddy.”

  I usher Brady back into the house while Adam washes his hands at the kitchen sink. The picture on the windowsill catches Adam’s eye, prompting him to ask about it. It’s one of my favorites; the picture was taken many years ago down at the lake. I think I was about eight at the time. My hair was in two, long braids like Pocahontas, my face tanned from the summer sun. I was missing my two front teeth so I grinned happily from ear to ear as I rode piggyback on Josh’s back.

  “Who’s this?” he asks, taking the picture in his hand to look at it closely.

  “Oh, God! Please don’t look at that! That’s so embarrassing!” My arm brushes against his when I retrieve the picture and place it back on the sill, mortification setting in quickly. “That’s me and my brother. It was taken a long time ago.”

  “Yes, I can tell. You’ve grown up a bit since that picture.” A sexy smirk greets me.

  He guides me to the passenger side of his full-size vehicle with his hand placed on the small of my back, only releasing me to open the door.

  The interior is beautiful, the soft black leather cradling me, screaming expensive luxury as music floats through satellite radio on the BOSE audio system. I turn to look at the spacious back seat. There’s so much room to stretch out and…Oh, Lord, I mentally slap myself for my dirty thoughts when I realize that his children sit back there.

  “Buckle up,” he orders. Anxiety immediately races through my body as I reach over my shoulder to secure myself. He doesn’t need to tell me to put my seatbelt on. I always wear my seatbelt; at least now I do.

  I smile weakly at him as he begins to drive through my neighborhood. The summer sun is starting to set before us. The drive is filled with conversation about anything and everything, from the changing New England weather to his taste in music when Linkin Park comes on.

  We arrive at Barcelona, an upscale bar, about twenty miles south of town. Insecurities creep up telling me that maybe he doesn’t want to be seen with me, but I brush that thought aside when he reaches for my hand, lacing our fingers as we walk into the bar. He simply smiles when I give him a questioning look. A tremor of electricity races through me at his touch.

  A pretty hostess, with a sleek dark ponytail and a short black dress, leads us to a small table in the middle of the busy bar before Adam requests something more private. Once we settle into our table for two in the back of the restaurant, I close the food menu, opting to peruse the drink menu instead.

  “So, Miss Delaney…” Adam’s voice is low and deep, “tell me something…” His hand straightens the silverware, his index finger running along the dull butter knife. “Why have you been avoiding me?” His eyes snap up from the silverware and stare at me, his fingers coming to a stop.

  “What?’ I reach for my water, suddenly feeling parched. “I haven’t been avoiding you.” I laugh as I lie, trying to hide my nerves, my voice an octave higher.

  He glances around the room, sits u
p and then leans forward. “You have been avoiding me. I haven’t seen you all week.”

  “I didn’t realize you were looking for me.” I grin.

  “I kissed you. I told you I wanted you. Then I had to use every single ounce of restraint to keep myself from taking you right then and there in the middle of the damn woods…and then you...you ran away from me. Literally.” I watch as his chest rises when he inhales deeply, shaking his head in disbelief at the memory.

  A shiver shoots down my body, my eyes close, as I remember how it felt to have his lips on mine and his length pressed against me. I open my eyes.

  “Are you cold?”

  “No, I’m fine,” I fib, reaching for my water glass.

  A friendly waiter, dressed in standard black from head to toe, promptly takes our appetizer and drink orders then leaves.

  “Tell me why you ran away,” he demands, leaning in closer across the table.

  I need to be straight with him, just tell him the truth. Adjusting myself to sit tall and confident, I lean forward, mirroring his posture. “Listen. You seem like a nice enough guy, but I know your type. I’m sure you have a bevy of beauties to choose from, willing and ready to drop their panties to please you in every way possible,” my voice laced with sarcasm. “But, the reality is…that’s just not me.” I continue, “And if I’m being completely honest with you, I’m not interested in being one of your many conquests and I definitely don’t share.” My eyes glare at his as a particular redhead and a curvy blonde come to mind immediately. My confidence surprises me. I know I have his full attention; his eyes are completely focused on me.

  Adam’s response doesn’t come swiftly. His words are chosen carefully almost deliberately. “You’re right. I do have my choice of women, but that’s my point, don’t you see?” His voice now becomes firm. “I want you.” His body relaxes as he sits back in his seat. “Are we not two adults who share a mutual attraction? Why not take advantage of that? Who says it has to be more than that?” He’s completely serious and completely crazy! He wants to be fuck buddies? I should make a list of all the reasons this is wrong.