Devon joined me on the walk to the food vans.
“He’ll be fine,” he said.
I wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince me or himself, so I nodded. It was an hour until they were on stage and Tex seemed anything but fine. I wished their set was over. No more of the nervous tension that wound my stomach in knots and made my hands flutter.
I got tacos to take back for everyone. Devon got beers. I wasn’t sure if anyone wanted either but I needed to do something more than just sit around. Once we got out of our area of the band compound, I realised how filled up the area had gotten. People ran around like crazy. Some in official t-shirts, looking stressed. Some with cameras and microphones. Bunches of people chatting and fooling around.
Music filled the air, loud and pulsating, so that the ground seemed to bounce from the beat of it. Outside the band compound, the crowd roared like wild animals. Even from a distance, the pressure and heat of their bodies pressed against us.
On the way back, a guy stopped Devon to talk to him. The sauce from the tacos dripped down my arm and I regretted getting them. I’d asked the girl if she could put them in a box but she’d ignored me. Trying to balance a heap of tacos in the misty rain while talking to a stranger was not my idea of fun. I left them to it.
When I got back to Tex, Brownie had disappeared. I sat the tacos down and curled up next to Tex.
“I’m proud of you,” I said.
“I haven’t done anything yet.”
“You’ve made it this far. That’s pretty darn good for a crusty old hermit.”
He put his arm around me and kissed me on the cheek. I took his hand and squeezed it tight.
Devon finally got back with the beer. He put one down beside Tex but the beer sat there untouched until it went flat. We didn’t talk. There was nothing left for me to say to him. He just kept right on holding my hand.
“Almost time to go on,” Hannah said. “I’ll go check the stage set up is done.”
When Brownie returned with some other people, he tried to joke around and jolly Tex up but, when Tex didn’t respond, he gave up. The tension in the backstage area had become palpable.
The sun had begun to set and the sky was a soft pink, with a mellowness that belied the tension.
Even though I smiled, I felt sick. If the festival didn’t work out, Tex would never forgive me. He’d hate me forever. But if I’d not made him play the festival, if I’d taken the easy path he’d offered, I’d hate myself forever and either way we’d be doomed. The only chance we had was if Tex made it work. I wished I could fill him with the confidence I had in him.
“It’s time to set up.” Hannah popped her head in our area.
Tex nodded and got up. Everything was ready. He just needed to go on stage.
He walked down the ramp to the stage area. Devon walked behind him and Brownie followed with a rosy-faced girl I assumed was his fiancé. I wanted to say hello to her but I was too nervous to even really notice her before. I went behind them.
Hannah grabbed my hand.
“He’ll be fine once he gets on stage.”
I tried to smile at her but the muscles of my face could only manage something wonky and wrong. When we got to the stage, she had to rush off to see Jack’s band who’d just finished playing. I wished she’d stayed beside me. I felt so alone.
We waited to the side of the stage, the screams and calls for the band breaking over us like waves. My belly couldn’t handle it and I felt like I might have a major accident in my pants. Why had I eaten that taco? Why hadn’t I gone to the toilet? It was too late. I couldn’t leave.
Before he went onstage, Tex swept me up into his arms.
“I’m going to rock you, Ruby. I’m going to rock you so you’ll stay with me forever. I’ll play like I’ve never played before,” he said then he kissed me with a desperate passion. I tried to fill him with all the strength he needed to get through.
The screams died down and an oppressive height of anticipation descended on the crowd. The lights on stage lowered and for an instant, the entire festival was silent.
As I looked out, the crowd merged into one, all muddy and wet like they were creatures rising from a primal swamp. In random spots, colours stood out like random jewels.
Tex walked on stage and the crowd exploded into a noise I didn’t believe human beings could make. His body was silhouetted against the sunset, dark and strong. I believed in him. He could do it. I could see the beginnings of stars in the sky but Tex was the real star.
From the first note, the crowd was in his hands. His voice soared with a power I’d not heard before. The pain and the passion inside him came out with a frenzy that every single person seemed to take on. A crowd gathered behind me as the other bands and crew came up to watch them play but I only had eyes for Tex. He could do it. He could really do it.
The primal swamp creatures moved as a mass, in time with the music.
I wondered if I’d be able to talk normally to Tex after he played. He’d grown so much bigger. I was just so ordinary. The man on stage wasn’t the guy who sat on my bed, laughing at stupid comedies. He wasn’t the guy who freaked out in shops and needed me to look after him. He wasn’t the man who’d held me in his arms and asked me to lock the door.
The new Tex could look after himself.
With each song, his confidence increased and he became stronger. An incredible change came over him as though he was shedding his old skin to be reborn.
He moved around the stage like a panther, so sleek and predatory. Between songs, he joked with the crowd. He was made to be on that stage
The sky was completely dark by the time they got to the end of the set. The lights painted him in a deep red that made him glow with an ethereal light.
The cheers of the crowd died down and he told them it was the last song, a new song that he’d written for someone special, “The Stars in Your Eyes”. As he sung his song for Julie, tears welled up in me. Tears for the girl who’d never had a chance and tears for myself because I wasn’t sure who that man was any more. I’d told him I’d be there for him after he’d performed but I wondered if he’d be there for me.
The glow had returned to him. The vital, alive Tex stood on the stage before me. I’d fulfilled my purpose and he had no further need for me. I’d not understood before when people said he was a genius. Even when I’d watched the video of him on stage, I hadn’t understood.
My chest ached. This is the Tex I wanted him to be but it wasn’t the man who’d held me tight.
The crowd that had gathered to the side of the stage pressed against me. A girl behind me kept knocking me, trying to get me out of her way. The squeezing and pushing was too much for me to handle. Clammy skin rubbed against mine and my heart raced out of control. I was going to throw up. I couldn’t even concentrate on the end of the song.
The cheers of the crowd hadn’t even died down when I crept off. I left a message for Tex telling him I’d meet him at home. If he came looking for me, then I’d know his words hadn’t just been spoken out of nerves and fear. Even if he still wanted me, I didn’t know where I’d fit into this new world of his. A piece of him belonged to all those people out there.
CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE
There’d been a line of shuttle buses going back to the city. From there, I got a cab home. I got the driver to drop me off at the bus stop so I could walk up the driveway alone. Even though I’d decided to go back home, I wanted to delay the moment before I was in the studio alone. Maybe I should pack my bags. Tex would want to party with his friends. Maybe he wouldn’t even make it home that night.
As I glanced up at the foundations of the house, partly rebuilt, I remembered the first time I came here. I thought the house was full of ghosts and I wasn’t far wrong. They just weren’t the ghosts I’d imagined.
I crunched my way up the driveway to the studio. The porch light shone through the darkness. I’d left it on so I could find my way home.
I gazed up at the stars. The
y seemed so far away. That night Tex and I had sat on the porch, eating pizza and watching the stars, he’d seemed so close to me then, his warm body pressing into mine. Even though we’d pretended we were just friends, possibilities buzzed around like fireflies.
Now, Tex seemed further away from me than those stars in the sky.
I knew I’d done the right thing but sometimes the right thing really sucks. Still, I didn’t want Tex being nice to me out of obligation or pity. I wouldn’t hold on to him if that wasn’t what he wanted. I didn’t want to be one of those pathetic women who cling on, pouting and crying and using every weapon in their emotional blackmail arsenal.
I’d leave it up to Tex. If he walked off that stage the same man he’d been when he walked on, I’d be his. He knew where to find me.
I’d be at the studio waiting.
THE END
Thanks for reading Rock You. I hope you enjoyed it.
Cry for You, the second book in the Fallen Star series, will be available late April 2015.
The best way to find out what’s next is to join my mailing list – release information, deleted scenes, special features and promos. And totally non-spammy! http://bit.ly/160V44m
The Bad Boy Rock Star series:
Bad Boy Rock Star (Book 1)
Hannah Sorrento never planned to be a band manager. She’s a princess and the toughest obstacle she's had in life is finding shoes to match her outfit.
Then her father disappears and leaves her with only the money in her purse and a management contract for hot, indie band, STORM. She plans to sell the contract, one way or another, then pack up her designer wardrobe and head back to law school. But lead singer, Jack Colt, has other ideas.
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00GPP30O2/
Bad Boy vs Millionaire (Book 2)
Tamaki is everything Jack isn't and, with their similar backgrounds, he and Hannah form a bond. He offers her safety and security as well as a return to her luxurious lifestyle. But the passion Jack arouses in Hannah won't be denied.
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00J83LEVO
Bad Boy Redemption (Book 3)
Life is sweet for Hannah and Jack. Finally, they're together and Jack’s band, Storm, have been signed to a major label after completing a successful tour. Then tragedy hits the band, sending Jack off the rails. Hannah wants him to make peace with the demons from his past but he refuses to take action. Meanwhile, Hannah has problems of her own when her father’s crimes are exposed, and are much worse than she’d ever expected.
Are they damned beyond repair or can their love redeem them?
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LLEAJ7I
Or
Get the complete story in one book (it’s cheaper that way)
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00OIQFP8Y
Also Available:
Hands Off! The 100 Day Agreement
One hundred days without sex? Is that even possible?
When I got offered an exchange year to the Italian art school of my dreams, I nearly cried. I could barely afford college expenses at home let alone while living in a foreign country. I knew I had to refuse - but then my rich and uptight grandmother called with her offer. If I stopped screwing around, she'd foot the bill. How could I resist? Especially since I figured she didn't really care about my sex life, she just wanted me to keep my partying off the radar.
I was so wrong.
The sexy but annoying Chad moved into my apartment to keep me under surveillance. Why wasn't Chad dying to get into my pants like every other guy I've met?
One hundred days is a helluva long time to avoid temptation – even longer when Chad becomes the temptation.
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00Q0F588I
About me:
Candy J. Starr used to be a band manager until she realised that the band she managed was so lacking in charisma that they actually sucked the charisma out of any room they played. “Screw you,” she said, leaving them to wallow in obscurity – totally forgetting that they owed her big bucks for video equipment hire.
Candy has filmed and interviewed some big names in the rock business, and a lot of small ones. She’s seen the dirty little secrets that go on in the back rooms of band venues. She’s seen the ugly side of rock and the very pretty one.
But, of course, everything she writes is fiction.
Blog: candyjstarr.wordpress.com
Twitter: @candyjstarr
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/candyj.starr.9
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7181055.Candy_J_Starr
Rock You (Fallen Star Book 1) Page 17