SCARS

by Jaimie Roberts

  Yeah, I can’t take him down. It would be almost blasphemous if I did!

  “You know me. I don’t mind. Besides, I think once I’m eighteen and going to college, things will be different.”

  I hear her excited intake of breath. “Oh, I can’t wait for that. Your eighteenth is gonna fucking rock!”

  I laugh. “Calm down, Christine. I still haven’t decided what I’m going to do yet.”

  “You have to have a party.”

  “My parents won’t allow that here.”

  “Well, we will have to have it somewhere else then. I’m sure Jerry or even Max wouldn’t mind letting you celebrate at one of their houses.”

  I shake my head at her playful banter. She’s only itching for me to get with Max now because she’s crushing on his best friend, Tyler. He’s the new “flavor of the month.” The trouble with Christine is that she goes through as many boys as I go through candy bars.

  “It’s still another six weeks away yet, so there’s still plenty of time,” I say, trying—but failing miserably—to get her off the topic of my birthday.

  “But six weeks will go by so soon! It’s almost April. Your birthday is May sixth. That doesn’t leave a lot of time to plan.”

  Eager to get on with the conversation, I say, “Well, I’m sure we can come up with something soon. Let’s just concentrate on tonight first.”

  I hear her intake of breath again. “Yeah, so … about Max …”

  “Will you shut up about Max?!” I shout, hearing her laughter on the other end of the line.

  “Okay, but, just so you know, I’ll be making a move on Tyler tonight.”

  I shake my head with a smile. “Well, I kind of thought that was compulsory this evening.”

  “What are you trying to say?”

  “Nothing!” I quip. “What are you wearing?”

  “I recently bought a light green nylon dress. I think I might wear that tonight. What about you?”

  I walk over to my closet and check out my wardrobe, which consists of an abundance of jeans and very little else. “Probably just a pair of jeans and a top.”

  “Ugh,” she utters in distaste. “I’m going to start calling you ‘Lily Jeans’ from now on.”

  “I thought my name was ‘virginal?’” She knows I’m still a virgin—hence the nice little nickname.

  “That name won’t stick with you forever. You’re almost eighteen.”

  I love Christine, but she’s unbelievable at times. “It’s not a written rule that people must lose their virginity the moment they turn eighteen.”

  “I know, but you can’t stay a virgin forever. You’re growing up. Your boobs have grown at least one cup size alone this semester, and the boys have certainly noticed. Haven’t you seen the way they drool after you in the cafeteria?”

  I groan. “Christine, those boys drool when the lunch lady brings out the lettuce.”

  “All boys do think the same.”

  “You should write that one in your yearbook.”

  “I can hear your mock tone, but you know I’m right.”

  As I walk back to the window, I start laughing. “You know I love you,” I say.

  “Whatever,” she grunts. “I’ll see you at eight.”

  She abruptly hangs up, so I toss the phone on my bed before heading for the shower.

  I take my time because I assume Elle is still sleeping, and my parents are still not due back for another hour or so. Once I’m done, I walk back into my bedroom to get dressed. I stare inside the closet, wondering if I should just wear what I had on earlier. I know I’m being lazy, but I have no need or desire to dress in something that leaves little to the imagination. I like my jeans; they’re comfortable, and I happen to think I look pretty good in them.

  I sigh, taking out a white cotton sweater. I then push the hangers aside, trying to find something to complete my ensemble. I notice my Levi’s and pull them out. As I do, I find a red pleated skirt which my mom bought for me at the end of last summer. I’ve never even worn it.

  Maybe this is something I could wear tonight.

  My head nods in agreement, so I leave that to one side, placing a white lace top next to it.

  Boy, am I being adventurous tonight!

  As I sit myself down to dry my hair, my thoughts turn to the latest lily, which I found outside my door today. I don’t know why I keep them, but I do. Today’s lily is a rosy pink. Yesterday, it was red. It makes me wonder what shade Monday’s will be. Does he choose the color based on whatever appeals to him in that moment or does he have a more specific purpose in mind? I smile, picking up the flower and inspecting it. It’s in full bloom with white surrounding its edges. I press it to my nose and inhale its peppery scent. As I pull it away, I scold myself for being so careless.

  This flower could have some kind of toxin in it!

  I laugh out loud at the thought. If he had wanted me dead, I believe I would have died by now.

  Getting up, I pick up my latest book, Pride and Prejudice, and place the flower inside. I take the other one out and throw it in the trash. I take one last peek out my window—because I can’t help myself—and once I’m satisfied he isn’t there, I walk down the stairs to our living room. I don’t know why, but the hairs on my arms start to stand on end. As if feeling this isn’t enough, a slight breeze from nowhere flitters across one shoulder, making me shudder. I gasp, looking around, but I can’t see anyone or even any thing that could make a breeze. The windows and doors are all shut.

  So where on earth did that come from?

  “Hello?” I call out, feeling like an idiot. I move across the expanse of our large, cream-colored leather sofa and squint my eyes in an effort to see through the French doors, which lead into our kitchen. There’s nobody there, but I am still certain that I’m not alone. “Hello?” I shout again, a little more loudly this time.

  “Can you hear me?” a voice sings from the hallway. As I jump, Elle appears, belting out the lyrics of Adele’s “Hello.”

  I shake my head. “Not funny.”

  She laughs, but soon stops. At least now, she doesn’t look so tired. The nap must have done her some good. “What’s up? Why are you shouting, ‘Hello?’ in our own house?”

  I try to shake off this feeling. I know nobody else is here, but it still feels a little off to me. “It’s nothing. I thought I heard a sound coming from our kitchen. That’s all,” I lie.

  I see a V form in my sister’s forehead. She marches over and places a hand on my shoulder. “Are you sure you’re okay? You look pale.” She squints a little more. “No one’s bothering you, are they? Is Max behaving himself?”

  I start laughing to try and ease the tension a little. My sister knows something’s up, but I’m not willing to go into detail with her… Well, not yet anyway. “I’m fine. It’s fine… Honestly. Max has nothing to do with me getting scared by something that turned out to be nothing.”

  “Hmm,” she muses, still staring at me. “You would tell me if there was something up, wouldn’t you?”

  I inhale sharply, trying to encourage the lie to leave my lips. I smile brightly and blurt out that she’s my sister and, of course, I always tell her everything. This is normally true, but for some reason, I can’t seem to tell her what has been happening with me lately.

  Just as Elle is about to speak again, a horn sounds from outside. We both frown at each other, but rush toward the window to take a look. A pale blue Porsche Cayenne is slowly pulling into our driveway. We don’t own a Cayenne, so this makes my hackles rise a little.

  Who is it?

  As I think this, both the driver’s and passenger’s side doors open at the same time. My mother and father step out with bright smiles on their faces.

  What’s going on?

  “Oh, my God! They bought a new car!” Elle screeches. “Look, it’s even Dad’s favorite color.”

  We both run outside to find my mother laughing at something my dad had said. It seems strange to see them both home together lik
e this. My dad is a stock broker, and my mom is a plastic surgeon, so they’re normally tied up for hours with their respective jobs.

  “Wow! When did this happen?” Elle asks with an edge of excitement in her voice.

  “Today,” my father announces. “We ordered it a while ago, and it came in yesterday. Your mother and I thought it would be nice if we took some time off today to go get it. We picked it up at two, but we’ve been driving around ever since.” He turns to look at the car once more and smiles. “What do you think?”

  We both stare, but soon, my legs start to move toward the car. I peek inside and see the beautifully appointed cream leather interior. It’s obvious that my dad has had all of the bells and whistles installed as well.

  “It has GPS, SiriusXM Satellite Radio—everything! There’s also plenty of room in the back. Do you want to sit inside?” My dad opens the door without waiting for me to answer. I slide in, taking in that new car smell. I’ve always loved that smell. If I could bottle that smell, I would have it in my car all the time. I feel the soft, yet durable texture of the leather as I run my hand over its surface. “So, what do you think?”

  I turn to my dad and see his eager, smiling face. “I think it’s beautiful.”

  My dad looks proudly at it before turning his attention back to me. “It’ll be great for our journey to Montana this summer.” He walks over to Elle, who is cooing from the back seat, and I can’t help but stare and savor this happy moment. My parents seem animated, and for some reason, it makes them look ten years younger. They’re both still very attractive, but their jobs make them look their respective ages. My mom has beautiful chestnut hair and light brown eyes, and both are just like mine. Elle is the same, but her hair color is lighter than ours. My dad, however, has jet black hair and light green eyes. His hair started to turn gray a couple of years ago, but he’s been working to rectify that ever since. My mom keeps telling him to let the gray grow naturally. “Look how gorgeous George Clooney is,” she says, trying to encourage him. It never works, though.

  “How was school today?” As my mom brushes my hair away from my face, she stares at me with a smile. Her eyes sparkle today like diamonds have bloomed around her irises. I guess having time off with your husband and buying a brand new car could do that for a person.

  “It was fine, thanks. Christine is bugging me about tonight, though.”

  My mom smiles. “Ah, the party girl wants to corrupt my daughter yet again.” She laughs, letting me know she’s joking. My mom knows what I’m like, and she trusts me. I have never given her cause not to.

  “She just doesn’t understand that I’d much rather curl up in bed with a good book.”

  My mom continues to fuss, placing a strand of hair behind my ear. “You’re so young, Lily. Curling up in front of a good book can happen anytime in your life. Partying, however, is something you usually do while you’re still young and carefree.”

  I frown. “You’re still young enough to party, Mom.”

  She chuckles. “I know, but we adults are more civilized. We have dinner parties, drink wine, and go to bed at a reasonable hour.” She then looks away for a second in thought. “Which reminds me… What time are you coming home tonight?”

  Oops. That’s something I conveniently forget to tell Christine. My parents don’t make the twelve o’clock curfew rule—I do.

  “Um, I think about the same time as always.”

  “Lily, Christine is here!” my mom shouts from downstairs.

  Shit! She’s ten minutes early. “Okay, I’m coming down. Just a sec!” I shout back.

  I finish straightening the last two strands of hair before rushing to grab my bag and my phone. Only, my phone isn’t there.

  Strange. I could have sworn I left it on the bed earlier.

  I pat around and under my pillows and duvet, but I still can’t find it.

  “Lily!” Christine shouts before I hear giggling.

  I roll my eyes. “I’m coming!”

  Jeez, she’s so impatient.

  I don’t like leaving the house without a phone, but I guess I’ll find it once I get back. It’s always handy to have just in case I need to split early. Max knows I always leave before twelve, and he’s always willing to drive me home. If he wasn’t there, I don’t know what I would do.

  Trying to put aside my annoyance regarding the lost phone, I venture down the stairs to find Christine in a short denim skirt and white chiffon blouse. “What happened to the dress?”

  She waves her hand dismissively as she scrutinizes my attire. “Ah, decided it was too formal. You, on the other hand, look awesome. I didn’t realize you had legs.”

  I roll my eyes. “Haha, very funny. You were the one who told me to make an effort, remember? This is me making an effort.”

  She looks down at my red pleated skirt. “I love this,” she remarks, picking the edge up with her fingers. She traces the line on it, noting the pleats. I have to admit, my mom had picked out a really nice skirt. “Where did you get it?”

  “Mom bought it for me last summer.”

  “It looks beautiful on you … just like I knew it would.” The sound of my mom’s voice makes us jump.

  “Thanks, Mom.” We smile at each other.

  “Are you ready? Tyler won’t wait forever, you know.”

  “Who’s Tyler?” Mom asks.

  Christine bites her lip, trying to suppress her devious smile. “Ah, just some boy I like.”

  My mother frowns. “What happened to Jerry?”

  I snort a little louder than intended. “Don’t ask,” I say, walking towards the door.

  She starts laughing as Christine nudges me. “Okay, kids. Have fun!”

  As usual, once we’re there, we find that the party is already filled with the stench of stale beer and pheromones. It’s like walking into a sweatbox filled with crazed male animals and equally crazed females in heat. Seriously, the dancing going on in the living room is at least PG-13.

  I notice one couple in particular. They’re supposed to be dancing, but somehow, they’ve ended up by the wall with her leg wrapped around his waist, while he gyrates his crotch against her.

  Scrap that! Definitely R. I don’t know why I let Christine talk me into this time after time.

  Christine hands me a beer, which I leisurely sip on. I’m not much of a drinker, but I’m not a complete forty-year-old—as Christine calls me sometimes. I do like the taste of beer, but I have never gotten drunk. I drink two glasses maximum when I come out to party.

  “Tyler’s not here yet,” Christine pouts.

  “He’ll be here soon. Once Max arrives, so does Tyler.”

  Christine scans the room a little, and her eyes land on Francis, a senior and a complete douchebag. “He gets hotter every time I look at him.”

  I shake my head and wave my hand in front of her eyes. “Don’t go there, Christine. He’s a complete douche.”

  Christine shrugs her shoulders. “As long as he makes me come, I don’t care.”

  I am about to argue, but decide to shut up. Why should I care? It’s not like she’s going to fall in love with the guy. In fact, I have never known Christine to show any sort of affection towards boys at all. I would even go so far as to say that she treats them like objects.

  “Ooh, look who’s coming through the door.” I look to where Christine is pointing and see Max and Tyler heading up the stairs towards the front doors. “God, he looks hot. Mind you, so does Francis. My, my, I do have a tough call tonight.”

  I smile, rolling my eyes as Christine heads towards Max for a quick kiss before pouring her attention on Tyler. Max spots me right away, and I notice his quick perusal of my attire. Once he sees the skirt, his pale blue eyes widen a little in surprise. For some reason, I find that strangely alluring. He saunters slowly towards me. His luscious locks of light brown hair are over to one side, and his smile is a little crooked as he stares at me. He’s wearing loose-fitting jeans tonight with a tight white t-shirt. For the first time in a
long time, I notice that he’s been working out.

  Why have I never noticed that before?

  I shake my head, thinking it must have something to do with the fact that he wears long-sleeved sweaters a lot. Tonight, however, he’s showing it all off.

  “Wow! Lily, you look stunning.” Max immediately comes in for a hug, and I notice he’s wearing aftershave. That’s something else I don’t normally smell on him. It’s nice, though. Like a blend of sandalwood with a hint of citrus.

  “Thanks,” I answer, kissing his freshly shaven cheek. He must have shaved just before he came out. I make a note to look over at him once more after he pulls away. “You look good too.” I notice his smile right away. It’s almost as if he has received the best news ever.

  “I think the party started long before we got here.” He motions to all the ready-made drunk teenagers lapping each other up like hungry beasts. One guy even has his tongue out as he licks this girl’s neck over and over again.

  “Eww,” I say in disgust, and I’m glad to see that Max notices it too. His face looks just as revolted as mine. “Yeah, and I really don’t want to see what it will look like in an hour.” I shudder and Max notices.

  “Do you want to come outside and sit with me on the swings? It looks as though Christine is a little tied up.” He motions with his finger to the hallway where Christine has Tyler up against the wall as she kisses him. “Fuck me, she’s like a vulture.”

  I snort without meaning to and try to cover my embarrassment. Max just smirks at me. “I think sitting on the swings would be good.”

  Max nods his head, takes my hand, and leads us past the two lovebirds in action. Christine doesn’t even notice that we’re leaving them.

  Once we are outside and sitting, Max fetches a blanket from a basket by the swing set and places it over my legs. “Thank you,” I say as I smile up at him. He’s being a gentleman, and it’s nice.

  “You’re welcome.” He sits down beside me and wearily places an arm around my shoulder. “It’s getting warmer during the day, but the nights are still cold.”

  I look at his t-shirt. “I think you need this more than I do. At least I have long sleeves.” I make a move to place it around him, but he jerks back.