SCARS

by Jaimie Roberts

  She smiles brightly. “Only the best for my best friend.” Tears prick my eyes and she notices. “Oh, don’t start with the crying shit. You’ll set me off, and I’ve only just put my makeup on.”

  I smile through the tears in my eyes. “I’m sorry,” I say, trying to get my vision back.

  Christine sets the tray down and then reaches behind her back. When she pulls her hand back, she’s holding a wrapped gift in the shape of a rectangle. “Here. This is for you. Happy Birthday!” she chimes.

  I scoot up a little more in the bed and reach out to grab the box. “Oh, Christine, you shouldn’t have. You’ve done more than enough as it is.”

  She rolls her eyes. “Just open it already. I’ve been dying for you to see it ever since I bought it.”

  I do as instructed, pulling at the paper and lifting the little lid off the box. As I pull the foam top away, I find a silver-and-diamond encrusted infinity necklace. I gasp, throwing my hand over my mouth. “Oh my God, Christine! This is beautiful.”

  She walks swiftly forward, excitement in her eyes. “Here, let me help you put it on.” I let her take the necklace and move my hair out of the way, so she can work with the clasp. “There,” she says, stepping away and inspecting it. “It looks beautiful on you.”

  I throw the covers off and walk towards the mirror in my en suite bathroom. Max wasn’t kidding when he said he would go all out. The master bedroom, although small, looks monstrous compared to the other cabins. The bed seems to take up most of the room. Hanging over it are some cabinets which seem to be able to take a whole year’s worth of clothes. Whoever designed this place designed it with the purpose of using up what little space there is efficiently. The carpet is beige and plush. When I sink my toes in, it feels heavenly. I could definitely get used to this.

  I study the necklace in the mirror. It hangs at just the right level on my chest. My hair is a total wreck after my fitful night’s sleep, and my eyes are all puffy from just waking up. I look like the crazy cat lady from the Simpsons. I turn away quickly and look at my best friend. “The necklace is beautiful, Christine. Thank you.”

  “Don’t mention it. Do you want some privacy?” she asks, pointing towards the door.

  I shake my head. “No, sit with me for a moment, will you? I don’t want to eat breakfast alone. What are the others doing?” Just as I ask this, I hear a scream and Jerry’s voice hollering. I hear a splash followed by laughter. “Forget it,” I say, putting my hand up. “I think I can guess.”

  It’s almost dark, and everyone is either drunk or well on their way to being so.

  I had gotten up this morning and showered, dressed, and put some makeup on—only for Jerry to chase me around the boat, pick me up, and throw me into the sea for my “birthday dunk” as he called it. I was livid at first, but after some deep breaths, I came to realize just how stupid I was to think I could expect anything less from Jerry.

  “So, what are you fuckers doing after graduation?”

  I roll my eyes at Jerry. “Can you not go one day without calling someone a name?”

  We’re all sitting around the table outside. The night is warm, giving us our first taste of the summer to come. I’m loving it. “In fact,” I say, pointing at him, “I bet you ten dollars you can’t go the rest of this trip without swearing or calling someone a name.”

  Jerry sits up. “Oh, come on! That’s bullshit!”

  I smirk. “I can see this will be a real challenge for you already.” Everyone starts laughing—except for Jerry. I always manage to piss him off somehow, and the thought makes me smile.

  “You can’t seriously expect me not to fucking swear.” He looks quite vexed by the thought.

  Max laughs. “Yeah. Asking Jerry not to swear is like asking an imbecile to be smart.” Everyone sniggers, but Jerry isn’t happy.

  “Are you saying I’m a fucking imbecile?”

  I get up, grab a beer, and hand it to Jerry. “Calm down. Jeez, you can be so hot-headed at times. Take the beer and be a good boy.”

  Jerry huffs, but grabs the beer from me. “Ask me to do anything. Just don’t ask me not to swear.”

  I stand, hovering over him. “You managed one sentence there without swearing.”

  Jerry looks at my groin area and licks his lips. “Bet me to do something I’m good at. I’m sure you’ll want to pay me handsomely for it.” His eyes linger at my groin again, so I gently smack him on the head. “Ow! What was that for?” He grumbles, rubbing his head.

  “Oh, don’t be such a baby. It wasn’t that hard. If you weren’t such a dirty bastard …”

  “You haven’t seen dirty yet.” I raise my hand to smack him again, but he puts his hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay. I get it. You don’t want me to lick your muffin.”

  “Oh my God!” I shout.

  Jerry shakes with laughter. “I never get tired of teasing you. Your face goes so red.” He turns to Max. “You’d better watch out because if any planes see her, they’ll be heading straight for your brother’s boat.” He doubles over with laughter while I move in to slap him. Jerry curls up in a tight ball and covers his head with both hands.

  “You’re such a little shit, Jerry.” After slapping him one last time, I walk back to my seat next to Christine and Max. “The bet still stands.”

  His laughter stops, and he glances up to me with an indignant look. “Fine,” he says through gritted teeth. “I’m sure I can go without swearing for tonight.”

  I wave my finger back and forth. “Nah-ah. You have to not swear or call anyone names until both feet are off this boat and on dry land.”

  Jerry purses his lips. “Fine,” he states getting up. “I’m going for one last dip before it gets too dark. Any of you fu… I mean, anyone want to come with?”

  I shake my head, sip on my beer, and wink at him. He scowls in my direction, making me laugh. As he walks off with Tyler, Pete and Amy following suit, I turn to Max. “He’s not going to last five minutes, is he?”

  “Not a chance,” he says, laughing. “Are you enjoying your birthday?”

  I smile, thinking back on today. Everyone pitched in what they could, and I ended up with one hundred dollars to spend. The only other person to buy me a present was Max. He bought me an Amazon gift card, so I can buy all the books that I want. He knew that my parents were buying me a kindle. I was glad in the end that they didn’t decide on a car. I would have felt terribly guilty otherwise.

  “You pulled out all the stops, Max, so thank you. It’s been the best birthday ever.”

  “Good,” he says pulling me in for a hug and kissing the top of my head.

  “I’m still full from all those burgers,” Christine pats her stomach and blows out some air. “But, man, they were good burgers.” She chuckles, setting me off.

  I look at Max. “Yeah, you do make a mean burger.”

  He raises his eyebrow. “Oh, I do now, do I? I’ll have to remember that for the next time I throw you a party.”

  I sit up. “So, there will be a next time?”

  He looks at me like I’ve grown two heads. “Just because we’re going off to college soon doesn’t mean that we’ll lose touch. I’ll still see you when I come home for the holidays and stuff.”

  I smile, grabbing his hand. “Of course. Sorry. I didn’t mean it to sound like we’re all parting ways.”

  “It is kind of sad, though, isn’t it?” The sound of Christine’s soft voice grabs my attention. She looks pensive as she plays with the label on her beer bottle. “We’re all so used to seeing each other almost every day. You all have practically grown up with each other, and I feel as if I have too… And now, look at us.” She waves her hands towards Jerry, Tyler, Pete, and Amy. Both Max and I stare as we watch Jerry playfully splashing water at Tyler’s head. All of them are laughing, looking like they’re having a great time. “We won’t ever get to do this again on a whim. I bet all of us—at some point—won’t be able to make it to just any random party or event. We’re growing up and spreadin
g our wings. We’ll have to face it one day soon. Things will never be as they are now ever again. Nothing lasts forever.”

  I blink a couple of times, thinking about what Christine has just said. I stare out at the water and watch the three of them as they laugh and play. This is a moment to capture. “You’re right. Things will never be the same again.” For a moment, I pensively think of the future. We’ll all be going off to college, meeting new friends, and eventually finding jobs until we settle down somewhere. This memory we are making now will just be that—a memory. Something to look back on, but never to recapture.

  “Fuck me, when did we get so depressing?” I look over at Max, who’s shaking his head. “It feels like a funeral here all of a sudden. Did someone die? ‘Cause, it fucking feels like it.”

  I start laughing. “Sorry. I think what Christine is trying to say is that our lives now won’t be the same before long. Things will be very different in even five years from now.”

  Max shrugs his shoulders. “I think you can say that about everything in life. Even when you’re older, there’s getting married and having kids for instance. It changes your life and your circumstances. It’s bound to.”

  “Do you want kids when you’re older?” Christine looks in Max’s direction.

  Max takes a gulp of his beer and thinks about it for a second. “I think if I met the right woman, then yes. I think we would all feel that way if we met someone we knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with.” Just then, Amy squeals, making me jump. Pete is tickling her, and she’s screaming like crazy. “What about you?” Max asks Christine, bringing our attention back to the conversation.

  She shakes her head. “I don’t want kids.”

  I frown. This surprises me somewhat. I always thought that Christine wanted a family. Well, I suppose “assume” is a better word, but then you know what they say assuming does. “Are you adamant about that, or is this just how you feel now?”

  Christine looks over to me and shrugs her shoulders. “I guess I just feel I don’t have a lot to offer kids. I’m too …” she cups her hands together in a circle, “insular.”

  I shake my head. “I don’t think that about you at all. You’re kind and considerate. You’ve been my best friend now for the last year. I’ve never known you to be anything but the bright and bubbly Christine I have always known.”

  Well, apart from the shopping incident a couple of weeks ago, but then she did apologize for that.

  “I just don’t think I would be able to bring up kids.” She looks kind of sad, and she also looks like she wants to say more, but is holding her tongue.

  “What about you?” Max asks, breaking my stare from Christine.

  “To be honest, I haven’t thought about it much. I guess I’m the same as you, though. I want kids, but only once I find someone I want to have kids with. I think I just want to concentrate on living in the here and now.”

  Christine raises her beer bottle. “I hear that shit.” Laughing, I lean forward and clink my bottle with hers. “Every precious moment counts.”

  I nod my head to her with a smile. “That it does.” Just as I say this, Jerry comes bouncing over, interrupting our life-affirming conversation by shaking himself around us like a dog. “Jerry!” I protest, trying to protect my face from the wet droplets.

  “Come and give me a hug, birthday girl.”

  I squeal as he picks me up and wraps his big bear arms around me. “You are so dead meat, douche-nugget.”

  He pulls away, raises an eyebrow and instantly I feel the cold. “Douche-nugget, huh?” He then leans forward. “Give me a kiss.” He puckers up—trying to get closer—but I push his face away. “You wound me.” He pulls away, grabbing a towel and starts drying his hair.

  “I highly doubt that,” I say, smirking.

  Man, I’m cold.

  I start shivering.

  “Here, let me get you a blanket. It’s starting to really get dark now.” Max gets up and reaches into a basket next to his seat. He pulls out a large, light brown fleece and wraps it around me. I instantly feel warm.

  “Thanks,” I say, smiling.

  “No sweat,” Max answers as he reluctantly pulls away. Christine notices of course and raises her eyebrow at me. I just shake my head at her with a smile.

  “Your brother’s got a nice boat, man,” Pete says, looking around it with admiring eyes.

  “Thanks. He hasn’t had it very long, so he would totally kill me if I didn’t bring it back in the same condition as it’s in now.” Max visibly shudders at the thought.

  Jerry points at Pete. “You give him enough to drink, and he’ll puke everywhere. Remember Remy’s house six months ago? Fuck, Remy spent all day cleaning up your shit and didn’t talk to you for a whole month.” Everyone goes silent as I raise my eyebrow at Jerry with a smirk. He notices, of course. “What?” he asks, completely bewildered. I give him a moment before it finally dawns on him. His frown disappears and is replaced by an annoyed expression. “Fuck!” he shouts, downing a whole bottle of beer.

  I get up, sauntering over to him with a smile. I place my hand in front of him. “I think you owe me another ten dollars.” I motion with my hand to pay up, and at first I think he’s going to have a hissy fit. I’m surprised when he suddenly smiles.

  “I’ll make it twenty if you give me a lap dance.”

  “Jerry!” Christine shouts, throwing a cushion at his head. It bounces off so perfectly that I can’t help the giggles that rise out of me.

  “Okay, Okay,” he protests, moving towards his chair where he reaches for his wallet. Riffling through it, he gets out a ten dollar bill and slaps it in my hand. “I’m only doing this because it’s your birthday.”

  “Of course. It wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that you keep losing to a girl now, would it?” I lean forward just enough to get close to his ear. “Thirty,” I say, almost singing the word. I pull my head back and wink at him.

  Jerry just smiles. “I so fucking hate you right now.”

  Christine gets up, and together, we both lick our fingers and touch our asses like we’re so hot we sizzle. I dip the ten dollars into my bra and casually walk back to my seat as everyone laughs. Everyone aside from Jerry, of course. He is—for a change—silently brooding in the corner now.

  “I’ve really enjoyed tonight,” Amy announces while drying her hair off with a towel.

  I smile. “Me too.”

  She suddenly gets up, wrapping the towel around her. “I’m going to get another beer. Does anyone else want one?”

  “Me!” we all shout in unison, making the laughter start again.

  The rest of the night has passed in much the same fashion, and it’s extremely late now that everyone is leaving for bed. We’re all tired, but also extremely drunk-happy. I can honestly say this has been one of the best days I have ever had. The perfect icing on the proverbial cake would be to get kissed by my stranger. I smile as I trace my fingers along one of the cushions I took from the seats outside. It’s the only thing that usually helps me relax enough to sleep. Tonight, however, I’m already naturally tired. It must be all the sea air.

  In the course of my musings, I think about the fact that I haven’t heard from J in a while. It irks me that I miss him as much as I do. As ever, I chastise myself for feeling things I shouldn’t be feeling. Nothing that has happened with him or between us during the past few months has been normal. The only time I even feel “normal” is when I’m with him. It all just feels … natural. I think—if I’m being honest with myself—knowing that is the most frightening thing of all.

  I sigh as my eyes get heavier and heavier. The boat is gently rocking me to sleep. The only sound I hear is the water as it laps against the boat. I feel as if I’m being gently lifted like a baby being rocked. It’s soothing and leaves me feeling as relaxed as ever. It’s dark in here, but the moon is shining brightly this evening, giving me a faint outline of my surroundings.

  I close my eyes again, but I open t
hem once more as if I’m trying to fight the inevitable dream to come. In my dream, I am falling into the arms of the man who seems to have all of me. I can’t shake him. Even when I sleep, I can’t keep him from my subconscious. As if sensing my true desires, he grips me tightly in a warm embrace. Again, that feeling of complete tranquility, peace, and security surrounds me as I inhale the peppery-mint aroma that both sweetly stings and caresses my senses.

  Can this be perfectly perfect? Is there such a thing?

  I’m feeling it as he strokes my hair and skims those masterful hands across my cheek.

  How can this feel so real? This dream I’m in must be one of the best I have ever had. I did say I wanted to be kissed by my stranger, and, like a wish granted, here he is in my fantasies, granting my last eighteenth birthday wish.

  “Kiss me,” I ask, needing to feel those sweet, warm lips against mine. I have been dreaming of those lips since last Saturday.

  My dream must be cooperating because I instantly feel his mouth against mine, warm, welcoming … addictive. “You’ve been gone,” I say, as he pulls away.

  “I know, Beautiful, and I’m sorry.”

  I smile because I know in this moment I have instantly forgiven him. He’s here with me now, and that’s all that matters. “It’s nice of you to visit my dream.” I hear his raspy chuckle, and it causes goose bumps to rise.

  Strange thing to feel in a dream.

  I feel him lean in closer to my mouth, and I am instantly ready for him. His hot, minty breath invades my own, giving me a warm glow. “Lily,” he whispers, “you’re not dreaming.”

  My eyes flutter open, and I try to rise out of bed in a panic. I’m instantly restricted by a body and a hand over my mouth. “Shh,” he utters. “It’s just me. I’m not here to hurt you. I just wanted to see you on your birthday.” I look at his face. It’s still really dark in here, but now I feel like I’m seeing him for the very first time. I can finally make out the outline of his face. He has a strong jaw line and dark, hooded eyes. That’s all I can see. I instantly ache to touch his face.