SCARS

by Jaimie Roberts

  She gasps. “When?”

  I have no way of answering because Tyler snakes his arm around Christine’s shoulder and hands her a drink.

  “We’ve enhanced these a bit.”

  I take mine from Max and have a little sniff. “Shit, what’s in here—moonshine?”

  Tyler starts laughing. “Just a little Russian vodka. I chose it because the teachers won’t be able to smell it on our breaths.” He pulls his pocket open slightly and reveals a bottle. “I have the other smelly stuff for later.” He winks, touching his nose. I just shake my head at him with an amused smirk.

  I watch as Max takes a huge swig of his. He’s practically downed the whole thing already. “Steady, Max. What about your car?”

  He wiggles his finger at me like a child. “Oh, don’t worry about that, dear Lily. I can get us a cab back. It’s our last school dance. I’ll never live another like it.”

  “He’s right, you know,” Tyler shouts against the song “Stitches” by Shawn Mendes. “We will only ever live this once.”

  “I’m just taking a page out of Christine’s book. We’re all going to die one day, right?” Max looks from Christine to me, raising one eyebrow. He looks annoyed, but is hiding it well enough for Tyler to be completely oblivious.

  Just as a stare down between the two of us commences, “Stitches” ends and “How Deep is Your Love” by Calvin Harris and Disciples comes on. Christine tugs at my arm. “Come on, Lily. I love this song. Come dance with me.”

  I turn my head to Christine and nod, thankful for the distraction. We leave Max and Tyler together with our drinks and go to the middle of the dance floor. Lots of people are already getting into the music, and the atmosphere is electric. After a few minutes of dancing with Christine, I am already relaxing a little and enjoying myself.

  “I thought you needed rescuing,” Christine shouts suddenly.

  I look over at Max, and he’s standing with Tyler with a scowl on his face. He drinks what looks to be my cup before wiping his mouth with his arm. “Yeah. Thanks for that. I really don’t know what’s eating him.”

  “Well, I’m sure that whatever it is, he’ll reveal it soon enough. With the amount of alcohol he’s putting away, he’ll be spilling it all shortly.”

  That thought scares me a little. I don’t want yet another fight tonight. I guess, however, if he really wants to tell me something, it’s better to have it out sooner rather than later.

  “Ah, don’t worry about him. He’s just pissed because he’s not getting his own way. Enjoy the evening, Lily. Let your hair down.” I look across at Christine and smile. “See, that’s the friend I know and love.” She grabs my hands and forces me to start dancing again. I can’t help but be swept away by her enthusiasm. As “Lean on” by Major Lazer and DJ Snake comes on, the crowd goes wild and starts jumping up and down. All thoughts of Max and me are once again forgotten as I lose myself to the atmosphere and music. I don’t know how long we’re there for, but as one song after another plays, Christine and I dance the night away, I’m happy to be living these moments—in the moment… Always in the moment.

  Before long, Jerry comes over, and I think he’s going to cause a scene, but I’m surprised when he instead starts dancing with us. He gyrates up against Christine, and she just laughs and follows his lead. After a few moments, he does the same with me. I let him lead me because right now, I don’t care. I’m enjoying myself, and I don’t want this feeling to end. Besides, it seems that Jerry is quite the dancer.

  “It’s nice to see you let your hair down, sweet cheeks.”

  I turn my head to see him smiling down at me. “I get sweet cheeks now, huh? I guess I should feel honored.”

  He starts laughing. “How do you know which cheeks I’m talking about?”

  I shake my head in amusement. “You really are something.”

  He squeezes my hips, laughing. “Ah, I’m only joking. Tonight, I am the perfect gentleman. Besides, how can I be anything but when I’m blessed with two beautiful ladies to dance with?” I turn around, open-mouthed, to find him smiling at me. He simply picks my hand up, kisses it, and says, “Thank you for the dance, babes,” before walking off.

  At first, I can’t move.

  Did that really just happen?

  “Did Jerry just kiss your hand and walk off?”

  I turn around to see Christine looking just as shocked as I am. “I can’t believe he did that.”

  “He likes you. He secretly likes all of us, but he has a hard time showing it. You should have seen the way he was with me when we had that thing a few months back. Completely different to how you see him in public. He was sweet … attentive even.”

  “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

  She smiles, shaking her head. “He swore me to secrecy.” She touches her nose.

  “I can’t believe it. Jerry Morgan actually being sweet. It just doesn’t seem right.”

  “Makes him more attractive now, huh?”

  I nod, thinking she’s right. “So, how come things never worked out between you two then? I just assumed it was because he was a dick.”

  She starts laughing, flicking her golden locks away from her face. “Oh, he’s still a dick. I suppose it was just kind of hard dealing with his dual personality. In the end, I didn’t want our friendship to suffer.”

  I nodded my head, understanding her logic. I have the same logic with Max, but unfortunately, he doesn’t see things the same way I do. It also seems he’s intent on ruining what we have built over all these years. I can’t help but feel resentful because of that. I feel like he’s taking my friend from me. I sigh. I can’t let what happened in the car affect our whole friendship. It would be stupid of me. In fact, I’m starting to feel like it’s a good idea to find him and iron out our differences.

  I look around for him, but at first I can’t see where he went. “Who are you looking for?” Christine asks. She has a gleam in her eyes, so I think she’s talking about J. Oh shit, J might be here. The butterflies start again at the prospect.

  “Max. I just want to have a chat with him about our argument.”

  She rubs my shoulder and nods her head. She then looks behind me and scowls. “I think you’ll find him over there by the exit.” She points to the exit doors, and I turn to find him laughing and knocking back another drink. I close my eyes. Maybe talking with him isn’t a good idea if he’s drunk. I still need to see for myself, though.

  With a deep breath, I march over to him.

  Jarrod

  I have been watching from the shadows all night, hiding in the corner of the room. Lily hasn’t noticed me, but I’m not here trying to get her to. Not yet anyway. I watched as she entered the room with that fucker, Max. They looked awkward together like something had happened between them, and it makes my blood boil. I shouldn’t feel anything towards her, but for some reason, anything she does or feels fascinates me. It makes me want more than I can give her. More than I can ever give her. When I first went into this, I knew a little about her personality, and I was more than willing to contaminate that pure heart of hers.

  “Revenge” is the word which has motivated me for years. I went into this with the sole intention of seeking to right the wrongs of my past.

  Of our shared past.

  I followed this path with my eyes wide open. I had years of planning and preparation to make this go as smoothly as possible. In fact, it was the only thing keeping me going. Wheels were set in motion, and the people I loved were on my side. I just needed to put my plans into action. Everything was going my way, and everything was under control … until I met her.

  Lily Campbell was supposed to be my puppet—plain and simple. I wanted to watch her dangle from my invisible strings. I wanted to taint that pure, pink heart of hers until it turned black. I wanted to ruin her because she was the one who got it all. It was her innocence that made this plan possible.

  And boy was she innocent. Only happiness shone in her eyes, while only pain was reflected in m
ine. That’s why I needed her to suffer. By making her suffer, I will make him suffer. I can’t stand to sit there and watch their sick, happy, smiling faces every day. They are not worthy of that life… We are.

  But, throughout my planning, I never in a million years thought she would affect me in the way that she has. One look, and I was transfixed by her long, luscious light brown hair, and her luminous, equally light brown eyes. Every part of her fascinated me. She was innocent, yes, but she also held an element of spunk in her that went straight to my fucking dick every time I saw her. I had to touch her. I had to taste her. I had to be her first—the one who would last her until the end of her days… A permanent memory etched into that beautiful skin of hers. She was etched in mine, so why couldn’t I return the favor?

  That was what I thought. That was what I kept telling myself. I wanted to be like a thief in the night: I would go in, take what I wanted, and be gone. I was prepared to keep doing that until I saw her crack… Until I ruined that perfect little angel inside of her.

  But then I touched her. I tasted her. And, I wanted more. So much more. As if she had been molded just for me, she curved into my body in perfect harmony. I was prepared to want her. I was prepared to feed off of my need to take her. But I was never prepared for it to run as deeply as it did. I was never prepared to want and need her with a flame which burned with such intensity that it scorched me from the inside out.

  So, now I stand here in the shadows. It’s where I have always been. It’s where I belong. No one wants to know me, and no one ever should. I’m happy with it being this way. How can you crave something you’ve never had? I’m used to loneliness. I’m used to being the outcast. It’s all I’ve ever known, and that’s the way it will stay.

  I have questioned myself lately as to whether or not I’m doing the right thing. Charlotte knows of my plans tonight and she’s behind me. Of course, I knew she would be. It’s what I have been leading up to for months. I can’t say that the blackest part of me isn’t looking forward to this for all the wrong reasons. What I don’t want to acknowledge is that the other part of me really wants this as much as she does—and for the same reasons. I shouldn’t want her, but I’m a selfish man. I have never allowed myself to have luxuries in life, but I want to allow myself to have her … just for tonight. That’s all I ask.

  As I watch her dancing with her friend, I can’t help the small smile that creeps onto my face. She is—by far—the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. My eyes sweep from her delicate neckline down to her swaying hips. She doesn’t realize it, but there are other boys watching her. They want the same thing I do, but only I will get it tonight. I can’t help the possessive feeling I have. I want to take her in my arms and show all these horny fuckers that she’s mine and mine alone. I am the only one she allows to touch her, I am the only one she allows to kiss her, and I am the only one she’s allowing to rob her of her virtue.

  My dick instantly hardens at the thought. It’s been a long time since I have sunk my cock into anyone, but Lily is by far the only one who has made me hunger for it in the way that I do now. My mind tells me it’s simply because of all the hard months of planning, but my body tells me otherwise. My body wants her—all of her.

  When a person dancing steps in front of my peripheral vision, I have to step out of the shadows a little more to continue watching her. The annoyance of this bouncing, pimply-faced buffoon almost makes me deck him with one single punch. I know it would only take one, and he’d be out like a light, but that would simply draw attention.

  Once I see her again, I relax. But then that other fucker Jerry comes over and starts dancing with her, and my instant reaction is to walk over there and stake my claim on her. He shouldn’t be touching what is mine.

  I stand completely still for a good five minutes, clenching my fists as my blood boils. What the fuck is wrong with me? I shouldn’t be feeling this way. I need to get a fucking grip, and fast. I close my eyes, steadying my breathing, and when I open them again, I am relieved to see Jerry kiss her hand and walk away. I can’t see her face, but I know that she’s shocked he did that. I didn’t just know Lily. I knew all of her friends too. I had to do my homework after all.

  I watch as she converses with her friend, a look of shock and amusement on her face. But then she looks awkward again like something is bugging her. It’s only when her friend points to the exit that I see what’s brought on this sudden anxiety. Max is obviously drunk, and now Lily is storming off to talk to him. Not good. Not fucking good at all.

  With my fists clenched and a growl about to erupt from my throat, I walk towards another exit and quickly make my way around to the other side. I know where they might be, and I need to make sure I stay completely out of sight. I need to watch her, though. She’s stupid to talk to him in his current condition, but that seems to be a flaw of Lily’s. She obviously doesn’t recognize danger when it stares her straight in the face—I should know.

  I creep around to the side of the school and jog over to a nearby tree. I can see them. They’re already in a heated argument. I can’t hear much, but I do hear her telling him not to ruin what they have.

  Another growl echoes in my chest as the thought that he doesn’t deserve anything from her grips my insides. I’m a fucking idiot to have these feelings, but these instincts rise up in me like the overprotective, domineering animal I know I am. If he touches her, I will kill him. I will wrap my hands around his scrawny fucking neck and take great pride in watching the life being drawn out of him.

  “Don’t you fucking dare,” her voice whispers next to me.

  I turn and see Charlotte standing there, her fists clenched. She looks as angry as I feel. “If he touches her, I’m going to fucking kill him.”

  She steps forward. “If you do it, you’ll ruin everything. Don’t bail on me now when we’re so close.”

  I take in a deep breath and look over at them. They’re still arguing, and I know at some point, it will escalate. I look back at Charlotte. “If someone doesn’t do something, I will. I’m not going to just stand here and watch this. Thirty seconds, Charlotte, and I’m going over.”

  Her eyes widen at my warning, and she quickly scurries off towards the school. I look back at Lily and her fucking so-called friend and watch as their argument continues. I don’t know why, but I’m counting down the seconds. Twenty-seven, twenty-six, twenty-five. He moves toward her and she flinches. Twenty-four, twenty-three, twenty-two. The argument continues. Twenty-one, twenty, nineteen, eighteen. My heart is pounding in my ears, and I know I will break soon. Seventeen, sixteen, fifteen, fourteen. I close my eyes to steady my breathing. Thirteen, twelve, eleven, ten…

  I open them back up and see Max’s hands all over her. She screams at him to get off of her, but he’s not listening. No one is around, and I know I will have to help her. I can go in, give him a single punch, and disappear. No one will have to know that I did it. I can make sure she’s okay and disappear amongst the trees. It’s what I’m good at.

  I step forward to make my way to her. “Fuck the zero.”

  I’m starting to wonder whether pulling Max out of the school hall was a good idea. I figured if I got him alone and talked with him that things could be good with us again. Now, however, I am realizing the problem with Max being drunk is that a drunk Max isn’t a nice Max.

  “I asked you to come out here, so we could have a talk—just the two of us.”

  He starts laughing. “Just the two of us. There isn’t any ‘us,’ so what’s the point?”

  I don’t want those words to hurt me, but they do. The way he’s talking about “us” is almost like we were once lovers and I have scorned him. “I don’t understand. What have I done wrong? I thought we were friends. Don’t ruin what we have!” I shout.

  He shakes his head with a sarcastic grin. “Friends. Isn’t that such a peachy word? Don’t you just love me as a friend, Lily?”

  “Right now, I’m wondering, but you’ve been drinking, so I want
to give you the benefit of the doubt. You’re making it hard, though, Max, and there’s no need for it. I’ve never offered you anything other than friendship, so I don’t know why you’re being so cruel.”

  “Cruel?” He laughs out loud. “I’m being cruel?” He points to himself and comes closer. “I’m not the one who’s been cruel for all these years. You’re with me now. You flirt with me, you send me signals, and then you wonder why I get mad when you rebuff me for trying to act on those signals.”

  I step back, shocked at his outburst. I try to think back to times when it could be perceived that I was flirting with him, but my mind goes blank. “I haven’t—”

  “Yes, you have!” he shouts, stumbling a little as he moves forward.

  “Please, stop it. You’re scaring me.”

  He looks affronted. “Now, you’re scared of me? How can you be scared? We’ve been friends ever since we were little. Why would you have any reason to be scared?” He moves forward and reaches out to touch me, but I flinch away.

  “I don’t know what’s gotten into you. I was hoping we could talk about this like adults, but obviously there’s just no getting through to you right now. Maybe we should talk once you’re sober.”

  “I’m not fucking drunk,” he snaps.

  “Yes, you are. You’re stumbling, slurring some of your words, and you’re talking to me like I’m a piece of shit rather than your friend.” His face softens a little, and I wonder if I’ve managed to calm him.

  “You know that’s not true. I’ve never treated you with anything other than respect.”

  I shake my head. “But you’re not respecting me, and that’s my point. You’re not respecting my wishes. I can’t feel something that’s not there. Please don’t force that on me.”

  “Is it someone else? Is someone else touching you when it should be me?”

  I frown. “What are you talking about? You’re jealous because you think you have some sort of claim on me? That’s truly petty of you, Max.” I really don’t understand what is wrong with him.