“Take it back,” Ethan repeats.
Matty shakes his head. “I shouldn’t have said it and I’m sorry, but I meant it. I meant what I said about her.”
I glance over and see Finn watching them. He has Ethan’s backpack in his hand and his eyes are narrowed on Matty too. Clearly he approves of this. He’s not about to stop it.
“Finn,” I snap. “What’s going on?”
He just shakes his head, his eyes never moving from the scene in front of him. “He deserves it,” he mutters.
What the hell? Level-headed, sensible Finn thinks it’s a good idea for Ethan to kick Matty’s butt in front of the whole school? And the rest of their friends, the rest of the guys on the team that they’ve all been friends with for years—they’re all about to let this happen?
“We’re done!” Ethan is declaring at Matty. “Don’t look at me, don’t speak to me, don’t come near me ever again.”
“Dude, I’m sorry—”
He doesn’t get to finish his sentence before Ethan pushes him back so hard he slams into the lockers behind him and the sound echoes down the hallway. The students around us start shouting and egging Ethan on. Ethan goes again, but Matty doesn’t fight back. He tries to protect himself by covering his face as Ethan pushes at him again, trying to incite Matty to fight back.
“Ethan, stop it!” I screech, apparently the only one who’s even a little bit concerned about this. Everyone else who appears to know what’s happened seems to think Matty deserves it. Even Logan, Matty’s best friend, is only protesting half-heartedly, like he knows this is inevitable.
I rush towards them. “Get off him,” I shout.
Ethan doesn’t notice, too intent on shouting threats at Matty, so I reach out and grab him, trying to pull him away. He shoves me off with so much force that I go flying backwards and hit the floor. Hard.
“Shit,” I hiss under my breath just as Ethan seems to realise what he’s done to me and finally stops his verbal assault on Matty, turning my way.
“Go away, Biz. Get out of here.”
“Stop it,” I tell him, climbing to my feet. “Whatever you’re fighting over, it’s not worth getting suspended.”
“You didn’t hear what he said.” He turns back to Matty. “You didn’t hear what this little bitch said about you.”
Okay, so it’s something about me that’s set him off like this.
“Apologise to her,” Ethan demands. “Tell my sister you’re sorry for saying that stuff about her.”
Matty turns to me, and I want to cry at the look in his eyes. How can Ethan not see the sadness there?
Matty opens his mouth.
“Tell her you’re sorry,” Ethan snarls before Matty can even get his words out.
How can Ethan not tell how broken his friend is in this moment?
“I’m sorry, Izzy. I shouldn’t have said it.”
“It’s fine,” I tell him. Whatever it is, I’ll forgive him, especially with him looking like that.
“It is not fine,” Ethan says angrily. “You didn’t hear what he said.”
He turns back to him and something passes between them. Ethan is staring at Matty in rage, but there’s something else in Matty’s eyes, something like fear, and not the fear where he’s scared that Ethan is going to hurt him. It’s more the fear that everything’s going to change for him now.
“Right,” I say, glancing around, actually amazed that somehow no teachers have appeared. If this fight had happened in my old school, half the kids here would have been pulled into the headmaster’s office by now. I walk over to Ethan and place myself between him and Matty. “Ethan, we’re leaving,” I tell him, grabbing his shoulders, turning him around so he’s facing the opposite way, and shoving him away from Matty.
Ethan brushes me off, turning back, intent on not letting this drop. He tries to push me out of the way again but I don’t budge, pushing him away from his friend, eager to get him out of here where he can cool down and not get himself into any trouble he can’t talk himself out of.
“I swear to God, Ethan, if you don’t move your arse out of here, you will regret it.”
“You don’t get it, Biz.”
“I mean it—I swear on Mum’s grave I will make sure you regret it if you don’t get out of here right now.”
The mention of Mum’s grave is the only thing that seems to get through to him, and he finally allows me to shove him through the crowd and out the nearest exit. He strides off ahead, still way too worked up, muttering under his breath about what he’s going to do to Matty and how he’ll make sure he’ll regrets whatever nonsense he said. He doesn’t even seem to notice that Matty wasn’t fighting back. He pauses like he’s going to turn back around, but I catch up to him and force him to keep moving, determined to get him some distance from the school so he can calm down and think about things before he does something he won’t be able to take back, something like permanently destroy his friendship with Matty.
We’re at his truck within minutes and he pauses, turns around like he wants to argue with me and go back to square up to Matty again.
“Get in,” I hiss at him, very close to losing what little patience I have left. “Let’s go.”
We hear a shout and turn to see Finn jogging towards us, some of their friends off the team following behind him. Finn approaches, nodding grimly at Ethan and tossing his backpack over to him.
“Where are you going?” Finn asks.
“Away from here,” I mutter, waving my hand at Ethan, indicating that he should get in the car. Ethan looks like he’s just about ready to explode but does as I tell him and gets into the car. Finn moves to get in the back seat. “Oh no,” I tell him instantly, blocking his way to the car door. “Not a chance.”
Finn looks confused and turns to look at Ethan, but he’s already in the car.
“Iz—”
“No,” I say firmly, slightly surprised at just how pissed off I am with Finn. Finn is the one who’s supposed to be calm and fair. I can’t believe he was standing by and letting this happen. “No way are you coming with us when you were letting that bullshit happen.”
“He deserved it,” Finn states immediately. “If Ethan hadn’t done it, I would have done it myself.”
I roll my eyes. Whatever Matty said about me is definitely not worth all this drama. “You need to go. Leave Ethan to me.”
I open up the passenger door and demand that Ethan drive immediately. Something in my voice makes him realise it’s not worth arguing with me, and he puts the car into gear and drives out of the parking lot without another word.
He starts towards our house, his foot on the gas, going way faster than is strictly necessary, but he doesn’t stop, instead racing down the street to our house, but then he goes past it, driving out into the hills behind it and not stopping. Soon he’s quite a ways away and I have no idea where we are, but I still don’t talk. I still don’t say anything, and despite trying to give him space to calm down, it doesn’t seem to be working. When I glance over at him, he still looks livid. His hands are clenched so tightly around the steering wheel, I almost think he could leave an imprint. His whole demeanour is tense and he’s muttering under his breath, stuff I can hear but can’t understand. He’s retreated fully into himself.
I risk it. “Ethan.”
He lets out a growl at my voice and jerks the steering wheel to the left, pulling over onto the side and braking with such force that my body jerks forwards and it’s only my seatbelt that stops me from flying into the dashboard.
“Jesus, Ethan.”
“Don’t,” he snaps. “Don’t start, Biz.”
“Ethan—”
“I mean it. I just kicked the crap out of one of my best friends in the world over you.” Well, that’s exaggerating slightly. I certainly didn’t let him do that. “And I’d do it again.”
“Ethan.”
“Don’t you dare say it’s a bit late for me to start acting like your brother now, and don’t even think a
bout bitching at me for calling you Biz. I came up with that name.” He jabs his finger into his chest. “I came up with it. Not Mum, not Dad, me! And I will call you Biz if I damn well want to.”
My eyes widen. He’s really, really pissed off.
“I don’t even know what Matty was thinking. You’re my twin and I won’t have anyone talking about you like that, even if we’re not speaking right now, even if they are one of my best friends. Were.”
This is getting ridiculous. “Really? Matty’s a good friend to you for years then he says one thing and you’re just going to drop him? Let him think it’s all over?”
“Are you freaking kidding me, Biz?” he explodes. “You didn’t hear the shit he was coming out with.”
It can't be any worse than the stuff Logan's always saying to tease him.
“So tell me,” I demand. “What did he say that was so bad?”
He blushes. He actually blushes. “I don’t want to repeat it.”
“Oh for god’s sake, Ethan. Just tell me.”
He mumbles something under his breath.
“What?”
He mumbles again.
“I can’t hear you.”
“He said he’s going to fuck you so hard your brains come out of your nose.”
That I was not expecting.
Ethan’s face is absolutely mortified as he stares out the window. I bite down on my lip and look away, trying to keep a straight face; he really doesn’t need me antagonizing him right now.
“He said he’s going to smash your back doors in and then come in your face.”
I nod my head, doing my best not to give a reaction that will only piss him off further.
“And he said a bunch of other stuff he’s going to do to you, vile stuff. Really bad. Like really, really bad.”
I can’t help it. I burst out laughing.
It’s definitely not the reaction he was expecting or wants, but I can’t help it. It’s funny.
He slams his fist down onto the steering wheel. “SHUT UP, BIZ. SHUT THE HELL UP!”
I try to pull myself together, I honestly do, but this is funny. Ethan glares at me for what feels like a full minute whilst I try to stop my laughter, but I clearly don’t get it together quickly enough for his liking. He lets out a noise of disgust and climbs out of the car, slamming the door behind him before banging his hand down on the roof. This does make me calm down. He’s clearly incredibly upset.
I climb out of my own seat and round the car so I’m stood next to him.
“You need to relax, Ethan. Stop getting yourself so worked up.”
“Relax? Are you kidding me?”
“Seriously, it’s not a big deal.”
“Are you actually taking the piss?”
“Ethan! You don’t even like me right now, so stop acting so offended. You’re done with me. It’s not worth you losing a friend over.”
“What?” He looks at me in disbelief. “You think I’m not going to stand up for you when something like this happens?”
If I wasn’t so intent on calming him down, I’d probably be paralysed with guilt right now. He’s a good person and, despite what he says, he’ll still be there for me. He’s my mum through and through. “It’s honestly not a big deal.”
“Not a big deal?” He rounds on me, his eyes flashing. “Look, I know you don’t give a shit about me, but I actually care about you and I will not have anyone disrespect you like that. The stuff he was saying was disgusting! I can’t believe it. I won’t allow it, even if it is one of my friends.”
“Ethan—”
“Like what the hell was he thinking? You’re my sister. You’re my twin.”
“It really doesn’t matter. He doesn’t mean it.”
He stares back at me incredulously. “How can you be okay with this? He said that stuff in front of everyone. He said that demeaning shit in front of everyone. It’s so disrespectful.”
“I don’t care.”
“Well I do.”
“Ethan, it doesn’t matter.”
“How can you say that?”
“I just can.”
“I thought you guys were friends—how are you not pissed at him?”
“Because.”
“Because what?”
“Because he doesn’t mean it. He doesn’t like me like that.”
He looks at me like I’m crazy. “He just told the whole locker room what he wants to do to you. I’d say he’s pretty into you.”
“He’s not.”
I know I’m pissing him off now. “For fuck’s sake, Biz, he told everyone what he wants to do with you in bed. Graphically. I cannot believe he’d say that about my sister.”
Oh my god. Please tell me this isn’t about his ego being bruised that someone would dare disrespect him. “Ethan! This better not be you being pissed that someone’s dared to not bow down to you.”
He looks outraged. “No! This is about Matty treating you like that. It’s not okay.”
“It’s fine.”
“Izzy, you’re really starting to piss me off now.”
I start to laugh again. I can’t help it.
Ethan looks like he’s just about ready to explode. “I cannot believe you of all people are okay with him speaking about you like that. Not just you, but any girl.”
Well now he’s just being ridiculous. I’m not naive—I know exactly how guys talk about girls in locker rooms. “Oh get off your high horse. You’re only pissed because you see it as defying your authority or some bullshit.”
“ARE YOU SERIOUS?” He takes a deep breath. “He said that stuff about you, my twin.” He shakes his head. “I know you like to pretend we don’t know each other, but I’m not about to let him talk about you that way.”
Again with him thinking I’m indifferent to him. I guess I can’t blame him, not with the way I’ve treated him. “He didn’t mean it.”
“He did.”
“I promise you he didn’t.”
He starts pacing up and down. He’s so worked up he doesn’t have a clue what to do with all his pent-up energy. “And how the hell do you know that?”
“Because.”
Still pacing. “Because what?”
“I just do.”
He looks horrified. “Wait—you’re not hooking up with him are you? I know you talk to him sometimes.”
I roll my eyes. “No. Honestly, Ethan, contrary to what you think, I don’t sleep with every guy I speak to.”
That just pisses him off more. “I don’t think that.”
“You kinda do.”
“Whatever. There’s no excuse for his behaviour.”
“Just forget it.”
“No!”
“I am telling you he didn’t mean it.”
“How do you know?”
“Because,” I repeat, starting to get annoyed with him myself.
“Because?”
“Because he’s more likely to think that stuff about you than he is me!”
Well that certainly shuts him up.
He comes to an abrupt stop and slowly turns to stare at me in complete shock. Clearly this is news to him. He couldn’t look more shocked right now if he tried. He opens his mouth to say something and then snaps it shut again.
It takes him another minute to process my words before he finds his voice. “What…what do you…what do you mean?”
I roll my eyes. I think it’s pretty obvious what I mean.
“Are you…are you saying Matty’s gay?”
That’s exactly what I’m saying and he knows it.
He shakes his head. “No he’s not.”
I don’t say anything.
“He’s not, Biz.”
I still don’t say anything.
“No. No way. He’s one of my best friends. I’d know.”
I let out a sigh. From where I’m standing, Matty is trying pretty desperately to keep it covered. I doubt he’s even fully come to terms with it himself, and he’s certainly not going to be out there tel
ling people.
“Izzy, he’d have told me if he’s gay.”
I scoff. “Yeah, because Kellan, this small town in the middle of Republican country, is a great place to come out to people.”
He blinks and I can see him processing my words as he goes silent again, pondering what I’ve said. It takes him a couple of minutes to think things through. “But…but why would he say that stuff about you then?”
I shrug. “I dunno. Maybe he got scared that someone figured it out and wanted to make it sound like he was as straight as he knew how.”
He scowls. “But why did he have to use you to do it?”
“Because I’m the easy option?” He frowns, clearly not understanding what I’m saying. “Look, everyone knows I’m not going to hook up with anyone from that school. By saying that stuff about me, he knows it won’t go anywhere, won’t mean anything. Matty’s a good-looking guy. If he said that stuff about someone else—well, hopefully they’d be disgusted, but if not then they might think he likes them and it might actually lead to something. That’s not what he wants.”
Ethan couldn’t look more baffled right now if he tried.
“Think about it—when was the last time you saw him with a girlfriend?”
“He dated Sadie Phillips for a couple of weeks at the end of junior year.”
“Oh yeah? And was he into it? Did you see them all over each other and him desperate to touch her?”
His jaw falls open and I know he’s starting to see it. I know he’s starting to believe me.
“Have you ever seen him crazy over a girl? Can’t keep his hands off her, that sort of thing?”
“No…but that doesn’t mean anything.”
“Maybe not, but he’s one of the most popular guys at school and would have girls lining up for him if he wanted it. Have you ever considered that there might be a reason he’s not acting like every other hormonal teenage boy on your team?”
His jaw hangs in the wind. This thought had obviously never occurred to him before. “But…but…” He takes a deep breath. “Why wouldn’t he tell me? I don’t care about that stuff. He’s my friend.”
I shrug. “Maybe he’s just figuring it out himself. Maybe he’s not ready to tell anyone about it yet.”
He opens his mouth and then snaps it shut again. “Shit.”
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