The Other Side of Love (Forever Love)

by Cooper, J. S.

  “Do you have someone that you left behind?” She chewed on her bottom lip and stared into my eyes earnestly. “Asides from Zane, I mean. Did you leave a girlfriend behind? We just assumed that Angelique was the girl you were seeing, because you know, you were devastated by her dumping you.” She made a face. “Thank God that wasn’t true. But was there someone else?” She took a deep breath, as she stopped rambling and she looked into my eyes searchingly but slightly hesitantly. I could tell that she felt like she was prying a little bit and wasn’t sure if she was stepping over the line.

  “I wasn’t seeing anyone seriously when I left.” I shrugged. “But you’re right, Angelique wasn’t the love of my life by any means.”

  “I wonder why she believed that you were so in love with her that you would take your life.” Lucky frowned. “I mean, if she hadn’t believed that one point, everything could have been ruined.”

  “Angelique would believe she was an angel from heaven if you told her that.” I laughed. “She wasn’t low in self-confidence.”

  “I guess that’s true.” Lucky sat down next to me. “Are you okay, Noah? I know that Zane has been a little distant, and we haven’t really asked you how you’re doing. We’ve been so happy to see you alive that we haven’t really thought about anything else. But I assume you’ve had a life the last year or so, away from here. It must have been hard to start over and then have to leave.”

  “It wasn’t hard.” I jumped up as my stomach growled. “Zane has always been the first person in my thoughts, and it was never my intention for him to think I was dead and gone this long. I couldn’t stay there when I knew that Zane was out here with a hole in his heart.”

  “You’re the first person in his life, too.” Lucky walked with me to the door. “I don’t know that I’ve ever seen the light in his eye that returned when you came back from the dead.”

  “Not anymore.” I spoke matter-of-factly, and I saw Lucky’s face drop. I grabbed ahold of her hands and stopped her at the top of the stairs. “My brother loves you, and I’m not sad that you are his main concern now. That’s how it should be. That’s how true love should be. I’m still his brother and he will always love me, but you’re the one he lives for.” The words were passionate on my lips, and I laughed as I realized that Zane had figured it all out before me. Oh, the irony of the situation was fantastic. It hurt just like a knife had been stabbed into my heart and twisted, and I stood still for a moment as I absorbed the unspoken grief and loss that sat in me.

  “Noah.” Lucky’s eyes flashed with concern and she grabbed my shoulders as I refocused on her. “We’re going to have to talk. Maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow. But someday, you’re going to talk to me. Because the worst thing you can do is keep your worries to yourself.”

  “Okay.” I nodded and then smiled. “Thank you.”

  “No worries.” She grinned at me as my stomach growled. “Now, let’s go get you some food.”

  Chapter 2

  “This is where people go when they want to disappear.” She didn’t smile as she looked me over slowly and intently. “No one else moves to Palm Bonita.”

  “I didn’t move here because I wanted to disappear.” I shrugged and stared into her eyes confidently. I stood in the alleyway and wondered who this woman was who had just walked up to me out of the blue.

  “Maybe you didn’t want to disappear, but you had to.” Her eyes issued me a challenge and I hid my surprise. She was smarter than I thought she would be. But to be honest, my thoughts weren’t based on anything other than her looks. She looked too beautiful to be intelligent. I suppose a feminist would kill me for saying that, but then again, I wouldn’t say it out loud. I knew that my thoughts were based on my own masculinity, but based on her looks I thought she’d be an airhead. She had long white-blonde hair and big doleful blue eyes that glittered at me with an emotion akin to distaste.

  “Perhaps.”

  “I know guys like you.” She laughed and shook her head. “You think you know me just by my looks, but let me tell you, mister, you know absolutely nothing about me.”

  “I think you’ve got it a bit twisted. You were the one claiming to know me, not the other way around.”

  “No, I was just the honest one. I spoke my thoughts out loud.” She turned around then and walked away from me. I hurried up to catch her, feeling confused and annoyed at myself for getting off on the wrong foot already with someone in my new town.

  “Hey, wait, I’m sorry.” I grabbed ahold of her shoulder and she flinched, glaring at me as she pulled away quickly.

  “Don’t touch me.”

  “I didn’t mean to scare you.” My eyes narrowed, and this time I looked at her for a longer period of time. I studied her face carefully this time; I tried to look beyond the surface of her perfect features. Her eyes looked red and puffy as if she had been crying a lot, and her lips looked cracked under her lip gloss. Her cheekbones seemed too pronounced for her face, and her clothes hung on her body as if they were too big. She was either wearing someone else’s clothes or she had lost a lot of weight recently.

  “You didn’t scare me.”

  “So why did you want to disappear?” I smiled at her weakly, and her eyes flashed at me, looking me over in distrust.

  “So you admit it, you came here to get away?”

  “I’m dead.” I laughed, but no smile crossed my face.

  “I’m dead too.” She nodded and ran her hands through her hair. She had understood exactly what I meant.

  “I’m Noah.” I reached out my hand to shake hers. “I mean, I’m Mikey.”

  “It’s best not to use any names.” Her handshake was firm, but her fingers felt soft and cold. I wanted to rub them between mine, to warm her up. “It’s safer that way.”

  “How long have you been here?”

  “Three months.” Her voice lowered. “And if I were you, I wouldn’t ask too many people too many questions. Most of us didn’t come here to get away from something bad.”

  “What do you mean?” I frowned, not really sure what she meant.

  “Most of the people in Palm Bonita are the bad. They have come here to disappear so that they won’t be caught.”

  “Oh.” I pursed my lips. “Well, that means we good guys should stick together.”

  “Who said I was one of the good ones?” She raised an eyebrow, and walked away from me and back down the alley. I watched her as she walked away again. She stopped after a few yards and looked back at me.

  “Be careful, Noah.” She placed a finger against her lips. “Be very careful.”

  I sat on the couch, holding my phone, thinking about the first time I met her when Zane walked into the living room. He stood there staring at me for a few moments, and I laughed.

  “Don’t tell me the cat has your tongue.” I shook my head. “This is the first time I’ve actually seen you stand and think before spouting off whatever you wanted to tell me.”

  “Blame Lucky.” He laughed as well, and sat down on the couch next to me.

  “More like thank her.”

  “There’s that as well.” His eyes crinkled as he thought of his fiancée, and I envied him the peace of mind and stability she had brought to his life. I wanted that for myself, but I also wanted to make sure that nothing interrupted the new joy that Zane had in his life.

  “What were you thinking about just now?” Zane’s tone became thoughtful. “You looked so far away just now.”

  “I was just thinking about the day I moved to Palm Bonita.”

  “Palm Bonita? Is that were you where?” Zane stared at me. “Is that here in California?”

  I shook my head. “No, it’s a small town in Florida, about an hour south of Orlando.”

  “I see. Did you choose the area?”

  I shook my head and almost chuckled to myself. “Agent Waldron suggested it might be a good place for me to go and lie low as I didn’t want to become a part of the witness protection program.”

  “Wait, what?�
�� Zane’s eyebrows furrowed. “What are you talking about? I thought you were in witness protection?”

  “I wasn’t an official part of the program.” I shrugged and looked away from him. “Once you go in, you can’t really come out. I wasn’t willing to close the door.”

  “So you did it for me?” Zane’s lips thinned. “You risked your safety for me, yet you couldn’t or wouldn’t tell me what your plan was.”

  “I don’t want to go through this again.” I let out a big sigh. “Not now, please.”

  “So what happened the day you moved to Palm Bonita?”

  “Honestly?” I laughed. “I wondered what the fuck I had done and wanted to call the whole thing off.”

  “It was that good, then?” Zane gave me a half-smile, but his eyes looked me over with concern. No matter how angry he was at me, I was still his brother, and he was still concerned about my feelings more than anything.

  “Better.” I rolled my eyes. “Palm Bonita is one of those nowhere, small dusty towns, where ex-gang bosses and mafiosi go to spend their days.”

  “Sounds delightful.”

  “Yeah. It was an adjustment.” My thoughts drifted back to the decrepit apartment building I had found myself living in. It was cockroach- and rat-infested, but even worse than that was the smell. The stench of rotting eggs and hidden fish had filled the complex, and no amount of spray or candles had diminished it.

  “Want to tell me more over lunch?” Zane looked at me hopefully, and I nodded. There were many things I couldn’t tell him, but I knew that he would want to know about my time away. And as long as I kept to the bare minimum, everything should be okay.

  “The sky looks beautiful today.” Lucky walked into the living room with some recently picked flowers and my face turned white. “You okay?”

  “Yeah,” I jumped up. “I thought you said something else. That’s all.” I gave her a weak smiled and I noticed Lucky and Zane exchanging a worried glance. “I’m okay, guys.”

  “No one said you weren’t.” Zane grabbed Lucky’s hand, and pulled her towards him. “Noah and I are going to lunch, want to come?”

  “If Noah doesn’t mind.” She looked at me eagerly, and I tried not to laugh. She was so different than the type of girl I had imagined seeing Zane with.

  “I don’t mind. I’m pretty sure whatever I tell my brother, he shares with you anyway.”

  “Zane can keep a secret.” Lucky blushed, while my brother glared at me.

  “I’m just joking, guys. It’s fine. I don’t expect you to hide anything from each other. Secrets ruin relationships.”

  “Yeah, they do.” Zane gave me a pointed look and I jumped up and turned towards the stairs. I had walked into that trap, and I didn’t want to stay around and feel guilted into revealing information I wasn’t ready to share.

  “You guys choose a place for lunch, I’m just going to go upstairs and get my stuff ready.”

  “What stuff?” Zane’s voice was curious, and I smiled at Lucky as she pulled him away from me, whispering something about wanting his help choosing out a crib for the babies.

  ***

  “Hi, I’m Robin and I’m going to be your waitress today. Can I start you off with any drinks?” The girl in front of me was gorgeous and I couldn’t help but to admire her body. I gave her a once-over and I realized that she had caught me as I looked back up and she was glaring at me. As our eyes connected, I felt a spark of recognition light up my heart. I’d never seen this girl before, but something about her had ignited a feeling of warmth inside of me. “I’m not on the menu by the way.” The smile fell from her face as she spoke to me and I wondered what had gotten her so upset. She looked away and the buzz in my ears faded.

  “I didn’t think that you were.” I frowned at her in confusion.

  “Well, the way you were looking at me made me think that perhaps you thought something else was on the menu.”

  “Um, okay?” I looked at Zane to see if I had missed something. Had I said something and not realized it, or was this chick just crazy?

  “No, it’s not okay. How would you like it if I looked at you like you were a juicy steak and I was a dog ready to pounce?” Her frown lifted and her expression changed to one of excitement and anticipation, she looked me over slowly and licked her lips before locking eyes with mine. “Not a very nice feeling, is it? To be treated like a piece of meat.”

  “Actually, I don’t mind.” I laughed and leaned towards her. “It makes me feel quite excited, actually.”

  “Noah.” Lucky’s voice sounded shocked and she shook her head at me.

  “I’m just being honest.” I shrugged.

  “Typical male reaction.” Robin shook her head and turned towards Lucky. “Anything I can get you guys?”

  “We’ll have three waters, please, Robin.” Lucky smiled at her widely and we were all silent as Robin walked away.

  “Okay, is it me or is that chick crazy?” I exclaimed as soon as Robin was out of earshot.

  “Noah.” Lucky laughed and made a small face. “I mean, she does seem like she is having a bad day.”

  “She’s off.” Zane shook his head. “Like loony-bin off.”

  “Right? What was up with that?” I rolled my eyes. “I thought she was going to grab a knife and stab me and for what?”

  “Well, you did give her a once-over.” Lucky smiled at me. “Some girls don’t like that.”

  “I looked at her and appreciated her beauty,” I coughed into my hand as Robin returned to the table with three waters. “I thought waitresses were meant to treat their customers like royalty, not like shit.”

  “Are you talking about me?” Robin raised one eyebrow at me, and our eyes met again. She had the most unusual hazel eyes; they seemed to change from brown to green to match her temperament.

  “Do you see another waitress in the vicinity?”

  “I prefer to be called a server.”

  “And?”

  “Noah.” Lucky’s voice sounded shocked, and I saw her poke Zane in the stomach to get him to say something to me. I looked at Zane and his eyes were sparkling back at me. I could tell that he thought the whole situation was hilarious.

  “It’s okay. I’m used to dealing with spoiled rich boys who don’t respect the help.”

  “Whoa, what?” I frowned up at her and swallowed hard as I stared at her beautiful shimmering eyes. She was beautiful, and I had a hard time not feeling captivated by her. Her long black hair hung straight down her back, and her sun-kissed olive skin glowed in the bright light of the restaurant.

  “Nothing.” She sighed and bit her lip. “I apologize for my words. It’s been a long day.” She looked away from me and back at Lucky. “Do you guys know what you want to order yet?”

  “We’re going to share the bleu cheese burger with a large fries, please.” Zane spoke quickly, and Lucky gave him a look.

  “Who said we were sharing anything?”

  “I thought you wanted—”

  “You didn’t even ask me if I wanted the bleu cheese burger.” Lucky made a face at Robin. “Sorry, but can you give us a few minutes?”

  “Sure.” Robin smiled back at her briefly and gave me a look before walking away from the table.

  “I think she likes you, bro.” Zane winked at me and I shook my head.

  “Yeah, right.”

  “I bet she wants to take you in the back and—”

  “Zane!” Lucky’s voice was impatient. “Is that what you thought about me when you first starting coming to Lou’s?”

  “Of course.” He grinned. “I knew you wanted to do me the first day you met me.”

  “You’re gross.” Lucky punched him in the arm. “More like you wanted to do me.”

  “Of course.” He laughed. “I saw you doing the cha cha cha, and I was hooked.”

  “I was learning salsa steps.” Lucky smiled at him indulgently.

  “Yeah, whatever.” Zane pulled her towards him and kissed her. “I don’t care what steps you were do
ing, all I knew was that I wanted to be the one you were doing them with.”

  “So you wanted me to take you to the back and have my wicked way with you.”

  “I would have been overjoyed.” He grinned.

  “What about your date?”

  “What about her?” He laughed again and kissed her on the nose. “Now, what’s this about you not wanting to share a bleu cheese burger? I thought you loved them.”

  “I do love them and we can share, but you can’t just place an order and expect that I’m going to be okay with it without you asking me first.”

  “Are you joking right now?” Zane’s eyes popped open and he spoke slowly. “You do want to share and you do want the bleu cheese burger, but you sent Robin away because you wanted to be difficult.”

  “I wasn’t being difficult,” Lucky rolled her eyes at him. “I wanted you to ask …”

  “Okay, okay.” Zane raised his hand and put on a puppy-dog face as he cut her off. “I get it.”

  “You guys done?” I interrupted them both. “I’ve a feeling Robin is going to have a heart attack if we don’t order and get out of here soon.”

  “She does seem a little bit intense.” Lucky giggled and made a face.

  “Hey, guys, are you ready?” Robin walked back up to the table and dropped off a basket of bread. “I thought you guys could have some French rolls on the house.”

  “I told you. She wants you.” Zane mouthed at me and I tried not to laugh. “You should ask her out.”

  “Ask her out to do what? Kill me?”

  “Ask her out on a d-a-t-e.”

  “Yeah, right.” I grimaced. “That’s never going to happen.”

  “I have a friend that you may …” Lucky started and Zane gave her a look. “Okay, okay. Leeza’s out.” She half sighed and gave me a smile. “So what kind of girls do you like, Noah?”

  “Ones that don’t want to kill me.” I joked, but I couldn’t laugh. My mind drifted back to Palm Bonita and Skylar. I could still see the pain in her eyes at our last meeting. I’d never forget our last conversation.