Da Vinci in Love

by Maysam Yabandeh

  “Oh, not again! You with this depressing pose of yours,” the monk says as he is approaching.

  “Good, the liar monkey is here,” Leonardo murmurs.

  “So what happened? Didn’t anybody—” the monk notices the painting.

  “Wow, this is not bad, not bad at all. Look at the smile on those lips, reminds me of my aunt Mona Lisa.”

  “Mission accomplished,” Leonardo murmurs sarcastically.

  “So what’s up with you again. Didn’t you find anyone who digs your art? I did some kick-ass praying for you last night, you know.”

  “No. She didn’t get it, not even a bit.” Tears are clogging Leonardo’s throat.

  “Why? This is a… Wait, she? Who is she?”

  “Silvia, my classmate.”

  “You didn’t mention any classmate yesterday. Sigh! Dude, you gotta be specific. This prayer thing is very tricky; you gotta aim just right. I don’t wanna sound like bragging, but it is an art by itself. It is very delicate actually; you miss a key word, and, boom, everything becomes chaos. True story. But have no worries. Super-monk to the rescue. While you go and hang this smiley-face on the wall, I’ll go shoot up another super prayer for you, what was her name again?”

  “Silvia.” Leonardo’s cry bursts out.

  “Silvia, got it.”

  “Sofia.”

  “Sofia? Okay, sorry I misheard Silvia.”

  “Guilia.”

  “Both of them?!”

  “Emma, Maria, Francisca, Angelica, all of them, any of them.”

  “Alright, I got the picture, I think. So it is all about art, huh?”

  “No, no, don’t misjudge me like that. It is not like that. I am not one of those, I am different. This is about art. I am just… I don’t know what it is exactly, but I think I would be at peace if my art, my creation is appreciated by God’s finest creations.”

  “And fine means?”

  “Fine-looking.”

  “Of course.”

  “Say no more. I have just the right prayer for you.”

  “Sure you do,” Leonardo murmurs sarcastically.

  “Now get off the smiley-face, and let her breath, huh? Hang her up there, and I will be back with your prayers answered. Get up, get up now Mr. Artist.”

  Leonardo closes his eyes. He hears the monk stepping away.

  Answered prayers! Leonardo thinks; would anybody believe that if he is not desperate? If they are not true, where would the hopeless ones seek hope?

  Leonardo hears the church door shut behind the monk. He tries to open his tired eyes, but it is as if the eyelids are glued together. Eyes half open, he tries to sit up. Gravity is pulling his head down as if the painting doesn’t want him to get off. As hard as it is, he manages to finally sit up. He looks at the Jesus statue on the cross and the empty wall behind it. Then, he looks at the Santa Maria’s painting, and thinks that her destiny is to be on display, on the wall. The vision of the painting on display gives him some strength, enough to get him up on his feet. He picks up the painting, and brings it to the empty wall. He takes a good look at it, kisses Santa Maria on the forehead, and hangs her on the wall. He is adjusting the canvas when he hears:

  “Wow, that is absolutely amazing—”

  Leonardo looks back, and sees a pretty, young woman behind him. She is wearing a modest polka dot dress, with black dots on a white background, and a hat that screams ‘I am a tourist’. She is not wearing any makeup—well, she doesn’t need any either. She kinda looks like Santa Maria in the painting—at least this is what Leonardo thinks. The eyes are widened as if they are smiling at Leonardo. His head is moving with the movement of her eyeballs. Her pupils are as powerful as a black hole, exhibiting such strong gravitational effects that nothing can escape from them; once a glance is caught and trapped in them, there is no way to break the gaze. The eyes are so alive, it is as if they are speaking with you. And you can see yourself in them. It is like a part of you is communicating with you.

  Leonardo is drowned in her eyes, and doesn’t realize the passage of time. He finally snaps back to attention, and hears the rest of her words.

  “—I meant it is like they are speaking with you. And you can see yourself in them. It is like a part of you is communicating with you.”

  Leonardo has tears in his eyes, tears of happiness. Somebody pinches me, he thinks. This is too good to be true; this monk was not kidding; he is indeed a super monk.

  “Did you create this?” She asks admiringly. Tears have clogged Leonardo’s throat. He cannot say a word. As he is having the biggest smile on his face, he nods his head.

  “Unbelievable! Such a masterpiece! And from someone so young. You are a true, once-in-a-century artist, sir! Your art is the ultimate perfection, it is as God Himself has created it.”

  Leonardo’s eyes cannot contain his tears anymore, and a few drops flow down his cheek. He swallows his spit, and says, “Thank you.”

  “Can I ask for your… Oh, it is written here, sorry, Mr… Leonardo Da Vinci, it is a true honor to meet you.”

  “Leo, call me Leo.”

  “Oh, my gosh, you are so modest. Sure, Leo, I am Maria.”

  “Maria!”

  “I could just stare at this painting for hours. I wish I had come earlier. Anyway, it was very nice meeting you.”

  “Wow wow, you are leaving?! I thought you loved my art!”

  “Certainly! I lo… uh, I admire your work; your art is, what is the word, yes divine. It should be worshiped. I wish I could stay more, believe me, but I am late for my flight to Milan. My fiance is meeting me there.”

  “Fiance! There is a fiance?!” Leonardo sounds squeaky. It is as if Leonardo’s entire world has shattered to pieces in a matter of seconds. There is a mix of love, shock, sadness, anger, and hate in his look.

  “Well, yeah.” She flashes her finger; it is not the middle finger as opposed to what Leonardo initially presumed; it is the ring finger with a giant diamond ring shining on it. Leonardo, however, still acts as he is flipped off.

  “Anyway, it was a—”

  “Can he paint? Can he paint anything like this?” Leonardo points to the painting behind him. He has raised his voice a bit, and that makes Maria a bit less comfortable. Nevertheless, she tries to play it cool.

  “Oh no, not in a million years,” she chuckles. “Jacob is a stockbroker, has no talent for art.”

  “So you love stocks?”

  “Love?! No, his job… Not me, Jacob, he is working as a stockbroker. Anyway, I better get going.”

  “You can’t.—”

  Maria frowns. Her face is tightening, with a bit of fear growing on it.

  “—You get me. You are my Maria.”

  Maria starts feeling unsafe. She takes a step back as she says: “Mr. Da Vinci I really—”

  “I have been waiting for you—”

  “For me!”

  “—all my life.” Leonardo extends his left hand towards her; “You are my destiny. How can I let you go?”

  Maria is shocked and petrified, doesn’t know what to say. Her mouth is half-open. She is speechless. She just turns, and walks away towards the church door. She is walking fast. Her eyes are on the church’s open door, and she is counting how many steps are left to be on the other side of the door. As she is walking, she tries to digest the weirdest conversation she just had. She is near the door now, and feels safer.

  “I am very sorry Mr. Da Vinci. I think there has been a misunder—” she turns back, “—standiiiiing.” But she doesn’t see Leonardo. She looks left and right. Perhaps, there is a back door, she thinks, and he has left to cool himself down. That thought calms her. She hears the church door closing. She gets scared. She turns, and finds Leonardo in front of the door. She screams. Her scream fills up the whole church; but the church space is too small to contain such scream, and the scream reaches the skies.

  Some pigeons fly off a tree branch near the church. There is a crow standing still on the branch though. The crow has a bl
oody feather stuck to its pick.

  Mona Lisa Smile

  The monk hears the scream. He was whistling while aiming his urine at the water of the toilet bowl, trying to draw a heart-like shape. First, he gets confused, and stops urinating. He thinks very hard to figure what is going on. As he thinks about the possibilities, gradually becomes more and more worried. He wants to rush to the church when he realizes that his dick is hanging out. He gets mad with himself, puts the dick back in, and runs to the church.

  He is at the door and about to open it. Suddenly he stops. He wants to open the door, but is afraid of what he might find out if he does. He is hesitant. His hand is on the door, his head is down, and he is thinking. Finally, he makes his mind up, and pushes the door open.

  The church seems to be empty. He looks left and right, but sees nobody. He is terrified, and breathes rapidly. “Kiiiiid,” the monk screams. He sees something crawling at the front of the church. He runs towards it. It seems to be Leonardo; he is lying on something; he looks like he has just been resurrected from dead, coming back up to earth directly from hell.

  “Nooooooo!” Leonardo screams.

  “Are you okay, kid? What happened?”

  Leonardo’s face is all sweat. Shame is pouring down from his eyes. He cannot look directly at the monk. To break the eye contact, he turns his look on the ground. He sees the painting still lying on the ground. He is confused, turns his look to the wall; it is as empty as it always was! He is shocked. He cannot breathe. Turns his look back to the painting, which is in the same position it was before the monk leaves them alone. He looks left, right, behind; there is no Maria—well, the one in the painting aside. He let a relaxed long breath out. A brief smile appears on his face. The shame has not left his eyes though.

  “Kid, talk to me, what is with you?” the monk worryingly asks.

  “Nothing, well… everything. I gotta go. I want to… I… I think I need to paint now.”

  The monk is puzzled. He found Leonardo deeply disturbed a few seconds ago, and now he is quickly transforming into this relaxed, what is the word, ah yes, content man as if there has never been any burden on his heart. It is as if he is a newborn; he is Leonardo, and yet he isn’t. The monk doesn’t know what is going on; he is concerned that perhaps the kid might have finally lost it, gone mad. He tries to cheer him up.

  “Awesome! More art, that is great. Do you want me to cook up a super prayer for you? 100 percent guaranteed,” the monk said excitedly.

  Leonardo chuckled. “No. That’s fine. That one time was enough. Here, you keep this one.” Leonardo was handing over the Santa Maria painting to the monk. “Actually, let me hang the smiley-face for you, That was our deal, or… covenant as you called it,” Leonardo said while taking the painting to the wall. He was grounded, as if he had made his peace with the earth, yet he was nimble as if gravity was taking it easy on him. While adjusting it, he said: “If nothing, the smiley-face will remind you of your aunty, what was her name again, Lisa?”

  “Mona Lisa.”

  “Yeah, Mona Lisa Smile.” Leonardo smiled.

  * * *

  “True Story.”

  “Then what happened?”

  “What do you think happened? He went home. And never came back.”

  “So, did he ever get a shot with Silvia?”

  “Who the fu**, oh yeah Silvia, how would I know? I don’t have psychic powers. I am just a super monk around here. I shoot up super prayers, and that’s that.”

  The reader looks at the naked wall, and says: “If that’s true, then where is the painting?”

  “What painting?” the monk says while looking at the wall; “Oh, yeah Mona Lisa Smile. French stole it. A**holes. Did I say A**hole? Sorry. I retract.”

  “The one in the Louvre museum?! Are you crazy? That is from like centuries ago. That makes no sense, no sense at all.”

  “Not a fan of fiction, huh? Alright, then I have just the right story for you.”

  “No, no no. No more stories from you, please! Can I just be alone?”

  “Alone, like the great Zhong Fu?”

  “Who is Kung Fu?”

  “Zhong Fu, only the wisest monk in the whole China.”

  “Oh no,” the reader sighs.

  “Listen up. It’s a true story. Krishna, a young Maharaja Kumar in India fell in love with Anushka, a beautiful Daandia dancer he met during…”

  The End

  * * *

  Hope you have enjoyed the story. A kind reminder to rate/review the book.