Love in Surrender

by Lexi Buchanan

  “No, they won’t.” He grins. “I know the manager.”

  My eyes widen as he tips his head toward a guy in a suit in Bruins colors.

  “I guess that has its advantages.” I roll my eyes.

  The music starts and the volume within the stadium suddenly hurts my ears, but I laugh and bury my face against Blake. I feel the excitement in his body as his fingers tangle in my hair. He holds me close and I feel protected.

  The game plays on, but Blake refuses to let me claim my seat again. Apparently, my seat is in his lap. I’m more worried about causing him harm than what we look like. Blake just grins.

  By the end of the game, the Bruins have won and Blake whispers that we need to celebrate.

  I move from his lap and jump when he smacks my bottom. I turn to watch him, and he has a wicked grin on his face, which disappears as he notices the women from before confidently approaching him.

  “Are you Blake Kelly?” the blonde bimbo asks.

  I’m surprised when Blake hesitates, and says, “Nope. Not me.”

  Redhead asks, “You are him.”

  Sighing, Blake gives them a teasing look. “Okay, it’s me. Not at my best today ladies, but if you’ll excuse us.”

  Hearing him excuse himself, I don’t wait another minute and unhook the break before getting behind his chair. He usually does it all himself, but I just want out of here. It makes me uncomfortable to have these women in front of us, ignoring me, and ogling him. They saw that he held me all throughout the game, so it’s obvious we’re together.

  “Please can we get a picture with you before you go?” another one of the girls asks. This one seems more timid than the others, innocent even.

  “I guess,” he says resigned.

  Blondie shoves her phone into my hands while her friends get on either side of his chair.

  I move around to the front and narrow my eyes when the blonde sits on Blake’s lap. He’s surprised and clamps his jaw together, but before I can take the picture he shoves her off. “Sorry, but my lap is reserved for one girl only.” He winks at me, and then adds, “If you want a picture, you’ll have to stay with your friends.”

  She pouts and gives me an evil glare before getting behind him, and resting her chin on the top of his head. Now Blake is pissed, so I quickly snap the photograph and deliberately cut her head off.

  Grinning, I pass the phone back and quickly grabbing the back of Blake’s chair, whisper, “Arms in.”

  He does what I say and then I’m dashing away. Hopefully she won’t find us again to redo the photograph. It isn’t until we reach the car that Blake roars with laughter. “What did you do?”

  I snicker. “Cut her head off.”

  His eyes dance with mirth. “Remind me not to piss you off.”

  “That woman could see we were together.” I open the door and wait while he slides into the passenger seat before putting his chair in the trunk.

  When I join him in the car, he takes my hand and kisses my palm. “I was pissed too, but you’re the one I live with. The one I love.” He kisses my knuckles. “I don’t miss any of what went on back there.” He’s thoughtful. “I do miss playing and being close to the ice, but surprisingly, I don’t miss it as much as I thought I would.” He shrugs. “I just miss being independent more than anything.”

  “You haven’t lost it all, and once we’re settled, Aiden suggested we go looking at cars.” I hold his hand up to my face. “Not until you’re ready though. I don’t want to push you, but maybe give you something to think about.”

  He glances away and swallows hard a few times. “That time you couldn’t get out of bed because of a migraine. I felt useless. I had to call Kasey to go get you something to help with the pain. That should have been me.”

  I lean closer and slide my fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck, making him turn to look at me. When he does there is a sheen of tears making his eyes look glassy. “You may not have gone to the pharmacy for me, but you stayed at the side of my bed holding my hand the entire time.” I smile softly. “You cursed a lot while waiting for Kasey to arrive.”

  “I hated seeing you in pain.”

  “I know.” I place a quick kiss to his lips and move back into my seat. “Let’s get home and eat. Afterwards, we can go to bed and watch a movie,” I suggest.

  “You know how much I love going to bed with you to watch a movie.” He chuckles at himself.

  I roll my eyes while trying not to fidget in my seat at the thought of getting naked with Blake.

  19

  Blake

  Stretched out on our bed I’m watching Violet as she gets dressed. Just the sight warms my body and hardens places that need to behave with my girl having to get to work. But she’s something—all sleek lines, smooth skin, and breasts that I can get lost in for days. I never considered myself a breast man, until I met Violet, and then I did nothing but dream about what they’d look like without anything restraining them.

  Her back to me, she drops the towel, and bending over, steps into her panties, a groan escaping my lips. When she turns toward me her face is alight with mirth, and she lets out a sexy laugh as she sees the obnoxiously large tent over my hips.

  “You liked the show, huh?” Violet moves closer and my breath quickens.

  I snap my eyes shut and hiss, “Please get dressed.”

  “No!”

  My eyes open and focus on the nymph crawling up the bed and between my spread thighs. “What are you doing?”

  She rolls her eyes. “You really have to ask?”

  The sheet quickly disappears and my cock throbs, desperate to feel her mouth.

  “It always amazes me at how hard you get, all because of me.” She nuzzles into my groin with her nose before I feel her wet tongue snaking up my erection. When she reaches the tip, her tongue swirls around while she hums as though she’s enjoying my taste.

  My hands clench the sheet under me while her mouth continues to lick and suck the fiercely bulging head. Her mouth feels amazing, but when she suddenly slips me to the back of her throat, I growl and pant, trying my hardest not to explode.

  Then I pop free and she blows on me. “Fuck, Violet,” I groan. “You’re going to be late,” I hiss through clenched teeth.

  She chuckles. “I can run.”

  Growling when a hand teases my balls while her mouth works my cock, I beg, “I want my hand inside your panties.”

  Without moving her mouth from my body, she moves to the side, and yes, my hand moves the white material to the side and I’m touching her. My fingers slide through the swollen lips of her pussy.

  She doesn’t give me time to catch my breath before she’s working me hard with her mouth and hand. The moment I slip a thick digit inside of her, she clamps around my finger, her mouth and tongue do something to my cock that makes my eyes cross … and then I’m coming. She sucks me once before releasing me, continuing to pump my dick with her hand.

  The feel of her release all over my fingers and hand, has me pumping semen all over my stomach. I strain and release until I’m utterly spent, and I have a very satisfied woman staring at me. She also looks pleased with herself.

  “That was hot,” she whispers, hovering over my mouth. “I need to get us clean.” She smirks. “Except all I want to do is rub myself all over you.”

  “Fuck!” I close my eyes and breathe through my nose. “I think you need to get dressed before I keep you locked up and in bed with me all day.”

  She chuckles. “I don’t think you realize how tempted I am, to do just that,” she comments, rolling away. “Let me grab a washcloth.” She pads away.

  Moving back toward me wearing her robe, she offers a small smile. “You really are hot,” she comments cleaning me up. When she’s done she stays sitting to the side of me. “I wish I could spend all day with you. Crawling back into bed and your arms, is very appealing.”

  I reach up and brush the hair from her forehead. “I’ll be here waiting in our bed tonight.” Cupping
her neck, I bring her to me for a sweet kiss. “Go, have a good day at work, and remember, I love you.” I kiss her again and smack her on the ass as she starts retreating.

  Over her shoulder, her eyes shoot heat. “I think you have some sort of spanking fetish.” She raises a brow.

  I burst out laughing. “I don’t know if I’d call it a spanking fetish, but I certainly have a fetish that involves your sexy rump. The thoughts that run through my mind when I look at you.” I shake my head and smirk. “Let’s just say I’m glad it isn’t possible to read someone else’s mind.”

  “I’m going to be … uncomfortable all day now. Imagining what you think about when you look at me.” She turns and quickly dresses.

  Five minutes later, she’s out the door and I slowly get up and get ready for my day.

  Tired, I push into the gym where I’m meeting Zack, my personal trainer. He knows what he’s doing, and he works me hard, which is what I’m used to. The pins and needles are not as bad as they were when I’d first began to get feeling back, which has spread almost to my feet.

  Zack has promised to keep it between us both, and that makes me feel guilty. Violet should be the first to know, but I’m still afraid of getting her hopes up … I’m afraid of getting my own up.

  “You have to tell Violet,” Zack says, tuning into my thoughts. “I’ve seen how she looks at you. She’ll be upset if you keep something this big from her.”

  I swallow knowing that he speaks the truth. “I’m … I don’t know.” I run my hands through my hair. “I don’t want to disappoint her.”

  “You’ll only disappoint her if you don’t tell her.” Zack grins. “What you’re feeling can only get better.” He shifts some weights around. “You do know, that right?”

  “Maybe,” I hedge, swallowing around the lump in my throat.

  “You’ll get there,” he smirks, “I think we’ll start building you up to use the bars.”

  My eyes dart to look at them across the room and then back to Zack. “I don’t know.”

  “I’m the professional. That means if I didn’t think you were ready, then we wouldn’t touch them … but I think you will be soon.” He helps me onto the bench, ready to work my legs. “We both need to talk to Violet because she’ll be able to help while you’re at home.”

  “I’ll talk to her tonight.” I will as well. I promised her I wouldn’t keep things from her, but I have done and that doesn’t sit well with me. I had good intentions. In fact she’d very nearly discovered the fact when we had sex this morning … and for the past week.

  Part of me wants to see her face light up when she sees me walking toward her, even though it scares me to death.

  20

  Violet

  Entering the bungalow after a long day at work, all the lights are off. I frown and reach to switch the light on when Blake says, “Leave them off.” I then see a flicker as a match is lit and then he’s lighting the candles on the small round dining table.

  I catch my breath when I notice the table is set for two, and moving closer, I laugh when out of the corner of my eye, I catch the Chinese takeout cartons in the kitchen. “I don’t know what to say.” I gush.

  “Say nothing and come and sit down.” Blake moves into the kitchen in his chair, grabs the takeout and serves us both.

  All the while my eyes stay focused on Blake and his sexiness. He’s freshly showered and is wearing dark slacks and a pale blue button down. I’m underdressed compared to him.

  He smiles. “You’re perfect, Violet. For once, I wanted you to see me in something other than shorts,” he finishes with a chuckle.

  “I love seeing you in shorts.” I grin. “But, there is something about seeing you in those,” I point at his groin, “that makes it difficult for me to focus.”

  Blake grins so wide that the whiteness of his teeth is bright in the room. “You make it difficult for me to concentrate all the time babe, so this makes us even.”

  Laughing, I select a spring roll and munch away while I keep my gaze on Blake. He’s up to something and I can’t work out what. He’s also nervous and it certainly isn’t because my eyes are on him.

  We eat in silence and when I can’t eat another mouthful, I ask, “What are you trying to tell me?” I’m guessing, but I don’t understand why he’s so nervous, unless he has something to tell me. Possibly something he doesn’t want to voice.

  He twitches and slowly meets my gaze. He swallows hard, and admits, “I’ve gotten more feeling back in my legs.”

  My eyes widen and then my vision is blurred with tears. “Oh Blake.” I rush around to his side and kneel between his legs. “That’s wonderful. How do you feel?” I take his hands knowing that this must be difficult for him. I know every slight change gives him more and more hope. I don’t think my heart could take him being set back in his recovery.

  “I’m scared, Vi,” he whispers. “I’m scared to hope for more.”

  Nodding, I move his arms around my body as I crawl onto his lap. I cup his cheek with one hand and softly kiss him. “I’m scared too.” I kiss him again. “I desperately want you to walk again, for you … but I’m going to remind you that I love you, and that I’ll love you whether or not you get back onto your feet. I love you, Blake.”

  I curl tightly against him. “I’m not going anywhere, and we’ll face whatever comes at us, together.” I nuzzle into his neck. “You’re not in this alone.”

  “Don’t be mad at me.” He holds my face against his neck. “I wasn’t going to tell you.”

  I smile softly. “I know.”

  “You do?” he says surprised.

  “You’re afraid of getting my hopes up along with your own, so you have this habit of keeping everything to yourself.” I kiss his neck and whisper, “You don’t need to hide anything from me.” I nibble on his lobe before moving from his lap.

  I lean in and give him a grin while narrowing my eyes, going off a hunch. “So, what exactly did Zack say to convince you to tell me?”

  He makes a startled sound at the back of his throat.

  “You are so predictable,” I comment, feeling a little sad. “He convinced you, huh?”

  Backing away, I sit on the couch and stare at Blake, hurt that he only told me because someone else had convinced him to. “You promised you wouldn’t keep your progress from me,” I say softly.

  Blake sighs and runs a hand through his hair annoyed.

  “You’re not my physical therapist anymore,” he snaps.

  “I guess I’m not, but I’m supposed to be more.” His words bring tears to my eyes, so I turn away before he sees them, and whisper quietly, “I thought I was more.” I turn back and meet his gaze. “I guess I was wrong.”

  Quickly moving away, I lock myself inside the bathroom, and turn the shower on. I do need one, after the long day of work, except right now I don’t know what I’m doing. The words I’ve spoken to Blake were the truth, and I thought perhaps his were to me. He had no reason to say them otherwise.

  I’m not sure how long I’ve spent hiding in the bathroom, but when I move into the bedroom Blake is already sitting up in bed. He has the reading light on and a frown creases his brow. My eyes wander to his chest and stomach, that always does things to me. He’s a gorgeous man and I can’t stop staring at him or craving him. His arms make me feel cherished when he holds me close. I wish he could trust me enough to share in his recovery though. I do understand him not wanting to disappoint me, but I want to be there for him if he’s disappointed, and I wish he would understand that.

  “I’m sorry,” he says, patting the bed beside him. “Please Violet. I didn’t mean to snap. I guess I’m on edge and I took it out on you, which is wrong. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.”

  “I get that.” I climb under the covers with him. “It does hurt though.”

  He pulls me into his arms and I lay my head against his warm chest while I wrap myself around him. He doesn’t say anything more, but I have a feeling that he is still going
to keep his recovery from me. I’m getting to know him well. He’s being a stubborn guy while dealing with the unknown bracket of potential rehabilitation.

  I wish it would be easy for me to walk away from him, because without trust, or without wanting to share our joy or sadness with each other, we don’t really have any kind of foundation to build a relationship on. That makes me sad considering the thought of being without him, is like an arrow to the heart.

  21

  Blake

  The distance between Violet and I is only there because of me. I hate it. I don’t know how many times I can tell her, that it isn’t her I don’t trust. It’s me. I’m terrified that everything is going to crumble, and I’ll be in the wheelchair for the rest of my life. I’m determined to fight that, but it’s difficult. Which is why I don’t want to get her hopes up as well. I’m having enough trouble dealing with my own.

  I’ve tried to show Violet how much I love her this past week, but the hurt I see on her face hasn’t disappeared. She is everything to me, and I don’t know how to get through the barrier she’s created.

  The darkness settles in around me while I wait for Violet to come home after working all day. We’re still in the bungalow on the facility premises, which is fine with me. It’s close by and easy for me to get to, without any assistance—an added bonus.

  I’ve been working up my courage all day to sit down with Violet and put all of my cards out on the table, along with my heart. My heart is the one thing I’m worried about the most. Violet holds it in her hands and I don’t ever want her to give it back to me.

  This past week, her lack of interest has been difficult to deal with, especially as the strength in my legs has gradually improved to the point that I’m beginning to walk for short periods of time during my physical therapy sessions. I’ve wanted to tell her but she’s almost acting like I’m not even there. I never thought I’d get movement back, but I have, and the feeling of moving under my own steam cannot be described. I also don’t know how to tell Violet without making her even more angry with me, I should have kept her fully in the loop from the very beginning.