Tomorrow's Lullaby

by Lindzee Armstrong

  He quickly signed his name and shut the billfold, obviously not wanting her to see.

  In the car, Sienna said, “Thanks again for dinner.”

  “Thanks for coming with me,” Jared said.

  “What you did back there was really nice.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “The tip. You gave her a hundred bucks.”

  Jared’s ears turned red. “You weren’t supposed to see that.”

  “But I did. It was kind and thoughtful, and I’m sure she can use the money.”

  “She’ll probably be without a paycheck for at least a few weeks once the baby comes. I wanted to do what I could to help.”

  Sienna’s heart warmed. He was so kind and gentle. When he’d looked at Tamison, he hadn’t seen an unwed mother, but a child of God in need of help. If they kept dating, and Sienna told him about Hunter, would he treat her with the same compassion? After tonight, she thought he probably would.

  She couldn’t say the same for Aaron.

  The motivational speaker was excellent, and his life story powerful. Sienna teared up multiple times as the speaker talked about turning away from drugs and relying on the Lord. Sienna hadn’t found Jesus in quite the same way, but she understood what it felt like to sin and feel true remorse.

  “What a remarkable man,” Jared said as they left the church.

  “And a remarkable story.” Sienna waited until they were both in the car before she continued speaking. “Do you think he can do it—turn away from his past?”

  “I think he already has.”

  Pasts had a tendency to follow a person, no matter how much that person changed. “But do you think his past defines him? One day, when he finds a spouse, is it going to come between them?”

  Jared started the car. “Not if she’s the right woman. She won’t judge him.”

  “I don’t think it’s that black and white. You can’t escape from your past.”

  “No, but it doesn’t have to define your future.”

  “That’s not always a choice we get to make.”

  Jared raised an eyebrow. “Is there something I should be worried about?”

  Sienna looked away. “We all have pasts.”

  “Yes. But I won’t judge my future wife for hers.”

  “Hypothetically, what if something from his past comes back to haunt them?”

  “Like what?”

  “I don’t know. What if one day he finds out he contracted AIDS from a dirty needle?”

  Jared shot Sienna a sideways look, his grip tight on the steering wheel. She was making him nervous, but his answers felt significant. Would Jared really react to her teen pregnancy the way she thought he would?

  “Are you trying to tell me you have AIDS?” His tone fell just short of teasing.

  Sienna burst out laughing. The tension of the moment was too much. “No. I’ve never done drugs.”

  Jared’s grip on the wheel relaxed. “Me neither. If something from his past comes up, then they’ll deal with it. If you love someone enough, nothing else matters. You can work through the hard things.”

  “Really?”

  Jared reached for her hand and squeezed. “Really. You know you can tell me anything, right?”

  He was such a good man. Her heart swelled with affection, and she had the sudden urge to hug him. “I know.”

  “Are you trying to tell me something now?”

  Sienna bit her lip. “No. At least, not yet.”

  Jared pulled into her parking lot and turned to face her. “You’re scaring me.”

  “We all have pasts, Jared. But I promise, I’ve never done drugs or been arrested, and I haven’t contracted some communicable disease.”

  He gave her a searching look, then nodded. “I trust you.”

  They held hands as they walked up the stairs to her apartment. She felt safe and secure, like she could tell Jared anything and he’d accept her anyway. But it was too soon to tell him about Hunter. Maybe one day.

  They paused outside her door, and Sienna looked up into his soulful eyes. “Thanks for taking me out tonight. I had a great time.”

  “Me too,” Jared said. “Can I take you out again soon?”

  “I’d like that.”

  “I’m going to prove that you can trust me. I want to get to know you—all of you. Secrets and all.”

  And then Jared leaned down. He paused, waiting for Sienna to protest.

  She didn’t, aching for the acceptance he promised.

  Jared covered her lips with his own. They were firmer than she’d expected them to be, but pleasant. Sienna leaned into him, the kiss comforting and sweet. There weren’t fireworks, but maybe that could come with time. She wanted what Jared was offering—unconditional love, acceptance, and stability.

  He kept it chaste, pulling away after only a moment. Her lips felt cold, and while the kiss had been pleasant, she didn’t long for another. Aaron’s face flashed in her mind. She had no doubt what his kisses would do to her. But maybe fireworks weren’t everything. She’d learned that all too well with Dane.

  Jared was good at his core. He’d been understanding and sweet, and he deserved the same respect in return.

  Sienna rested a hand on his chest. “I think I should tell you something.”

  A worry line furrowed his brow. “Okay.”

  “Aaron asked me out, and I said yes. We’re going out on Saturday.”

  Jared took a step back, and hurt flashed across his face. “Oh.”

  Sienna took a deep breath, forcing herself to continue. “I like you. A lot. But I like Aaron, too.”

  “I guess it’s my own fault for not being more proactive while you were away.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hide it from you. Especially now.”

  Jared covered Sienna’s hand with his own, trapping it against his chest. “I don’t want you to hide anything from me. So you’ll go on a few dates with the new guy. No big deal. I’ll win you over soon enough.”

  Sienna laughed. “I really did have a great time tonight.”

  He leaned forward, giving her another brief kiss. “Me too. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight, Sienna.”

  “’Night,” Sienna whispered as he walked away. She unlocked her apartment door and slipped inside. Maybe she’d been wrong to accept Aaron’s date. She had history with Jared. But tonight’s kiss had proved that while she enjoyed his company, he didn’t excite her the way she wanted her husband to. At least, not yet.

  Just being in the same room with Aaron ignited her far more than Jared’s chaste kisses. She was already anticipating Saturday.

  The pleasant feelings from her date with Jared didn’t linger long.

  Dane wouldn’t stop calling. In the forty-eight hours since he’d reappeared in her life, he’d called three times. Sienna knew she couldn’t put off calling Kyra any longer.

  She found a quiet spot in the commons between classes and leaned against a tree, dread pooling in her stomach. Three students tossed around a football in the middle of the grass, and two more studied under a tree. No one was close enough to overhear her conversation.

  Stupid Dane. She’d much rather spend the next fifteen minutes fantasizing about Aaron.

  The phone only rang once before Kyra picked up.

  “Hey,” Sienna said, sliding the zipper up and down her jacket with nervous energy. “How’s it going?”

  “Hey, Sienna. This is a nice surprise.” Kyra’s voice was thick, like she’d recently been crying. “How are classes?”

  Sienna straightened, dropping the zipper. “Classes are fine. How are the kids?”

  “Missing you like crazy. Hunter’s asleep right now, and Sophie’s at school. But they’re good.”

  A sniff made its way through the line. Definitely crying. “Kyra, what’s wrong?”

  “It’s Nana.” Kyra no longer seemed to be trying to hide the tears. “She’s in the hospital. I’m so worried.”

  Sienna’s heart dropped. Not Nana, who had we
lcomed her into the family with open arms. Sienna could still remember meeting Nana at a family barbecue, shortly after the adoption was finalized. Sienna had clutched her purse like a shield, nauseous with nerves. Yes, Kyra and David had welcomed her into their lives and their home. But would their extended family resent her presence? Judge her for her choice?

  Nana had held out her arthritic, age-spotted hands and pulled Sienna into a hug. Eyes glistening with tears, she declared Sienna an angel the entire family loved with all their hearts. In that moment, Sienna had known everything would be okay. In the two years since, she’d come to consider Nana a surrogate grandmother.

  “What’s wrong with Nana?” Sienna asked.

  “Pneumonia. The doctors are very worried.”

  “I’m so sorry.” Sienna blinked back tears. Nana was ninety years old. At her age, pneumonia was practically a death sentence.

  “We’re all praying for her,” Kyra said. “Right now, that’s all we can do.”

  “Give her my love. I wish I could be there.”

  “Me too. She loves you so much.” Kyra sniffed again. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to derail the conversation. Did you call for a particular reason?”

  She couldn’t tell Kyra about Dane—not now, with everything else Kyra had to worry about.

  “No, just to check in,” Sienna said. “I’ll let you go. Give the kids a kiss from me.”

  She’d tell Kyra about Dane in a few days, when things were less uncertain with Nana. For now, she’d cross her fingers that he’d leave the Petersons alone.

  Sienna fidgeted with the tie on her wrap shirt, appraising herself in the full-length mirror on her closet door. Should she wear a dress? Jeans might be too casual.

  It would’ve been nice if Aaron had told her where they were going. She really didn’t like surprises. Like Dane showing up unexpectedly. She still hadn’t figured out when and how to tell Kyra.

  She took a deep breath, pushing it out of her mind. Tonight, she would focus on Aaron.

  Liv leaned against the door-frame, her face cat-like with heavy makeup from rehearsal. “Stop obsessing. You look fabulous.”

  “Why can’t guys be specific? ‘Will you go out with me, and this is the appropriate dress code for our date.’ How hard is that?”

  Liv laughed. “I think what you’re wearing is fine.”

  “Maybe I should wear the blue shirt.”

  “Stop. You’re not changing again. You look great.”

  Sienna turned back to the mirror. The green wrap shirt emphasized the smallest part of her waist, and the jeans were her favorite pair because they fit like a glove. She’d chosen the outfit because it made her feel both comfortable and attractive. Black boots added four inches to her height—now she’d only be a couple of inches shorter than Aaron. Loose blonde curls fell around her shoulders, and she’d spent more time on her makeup than usual. Maybe she’d put on too much. “Are you sure I look okay?”

  “It’s just a date, S.”

  “Yeah, but if it goes poorly, I still have to see him all semester. We’re in that study group, and we walk to class together, and we’ll see each other at church on Sundays.” She blew out a breath. “This was a bad idea.”

  “It’s not that much different with Jared. You’ll still have to see him at church if you dump him for Aaron.”

  “Thanks. I feel so much better now.”

  The doorbell rang, echoing through the tiny apartment. Liv pushed away from the door-frame. “Are you getting that, or am I?”

  “You want to meet him, don’t you?”

  Liv gave a wicked smile. “Of course.”

  “Be nice.”

  Liv followed her to the door. “I’m always nice to your dates. Try and relax tonight, okay? Have fun.”

  Fun. Sienna nearly laughed. What a concept. Having a baby at eighteen tended to change one’s perception of fun.

  But it didn’t have to define her future. Yes, she’d had a baby at eighteen. But Hunter wasn’t something she could ever regret. The circumstances surrounding his conception, yes. But not him.

  Sienna opened the door, and her mouth went dry. Aaron wore a button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up nearly to his elbows, and jeans that hung perfectly on his frame. His dreads were pulled back in a half ponytail that was sexy in a rock star kind of way.

  “Hi,” she breathed, her throat constricting around the one word.

  “You look amazing.” Aaron held out a single long-stemmed rose. “This is for you.”

  Sienna took the rose, unable to stop smiling. “It’s beautiful.”

  “Very nice touch,” Liv said. She nudged Sienna aside and held out a hand. “Hi, I’m Liv. Sienna’s roommate.”

  “Nice to meet you,” Aaron said, giving her a firm shake.

  “You as well.”

  “Aren’t you heading to practice, Liv?” Sienna said, raising an eyebrow and hoping Liv would take the hint.

  “Right. Have fun tonight, kids. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” She stepped around Aaron, then fanned her face, mouthing, Oh my gosh! Sienna bit her lip, trying not to smile.

  “Come in,” Sienna said to Aaron. “I’ll put this in a vase and we can go.”

  Aaron took one step over the threshold. He gave her a meaningful look, then pushed the door open another inch. Warm tingles cascaded over Sienna. He remembered her rule about being alone in an apartment with a boy.

  She cut off the bottom of the rose stem and placed it in a vase. “Beautiful. I’m ready to go.”

  They talked about school on the walk to his car. Aaron held open her door, just like he had at church, but this time it felt different. More intimate.

  Aaron’s car growled—a far cry from the purr of Jared’s new ride. But the worn fabric seats looked freshly vacuumed, and the dashboard was free of dust. He’d cleaned for her. Adorable.

  “Where are we going?” Sienna asked.

  Aaron flashed her a grin. “Dinner first. I have a surprise for you.”

  Ugh. Hopefully it wouldn’t be a surprise she’d have to pretend to enjoy.

  “Tell me more about yourself,” Aaron said. “You mentioned you work a lot on weekends?”

  “Yes. I freelance for events—mostly wedding receptions. But I also play for a few hours a week at Dillard’s.”

  “Oooo, fancy.”

  Sienna laughed, letting herself relax. This was Aaron. No surprise could be bad if she was with him. “Hardly. A kid bangs on the keys at least once a week, and then his mom drags him away kicking and screaming. Try playing through that. I like wedding receptions best. No one bugs me, the music is easy and pretty, and the money’s usually good.”

  “It must be nice to set your own schedule.”

  “It’s perfect with school. What about you—do you work?”

  “Yeah, I actually work for Pastor Tanner’s son, Evan. He owns an online startup company for sportswear. I do all the graphic design for their website, brochures, that sort of thing. It pays the bills and puts a little money in my pocket.”

  He pulled into the parking lot of a Japanese restaurant that Sienna had been dying to try. If this was his surprise, she’d have no problem acting thrilled.

  “I hope you like Japanese,” Aaron said.

  “I love it.”

  “Good, because this dining experience is so cool.”

  The scent of grilled shrimp mixed with the spicy-sweet tang of soy sauce and garlic had Sienna’s mouth instantly watering. Instead of tables or booths, the seating area held teriyaki grills with ten barstools each.

  “What is this?” Sienna asked, confused.

  Aaron grinned. “It’s awesome is what it is. Dinner and a show. The chef cooks your food right in front of you, and does all sorts of cool tricks.”

  The hostess seated them at a grill with a family of four. A little boy sat in a high chair, and a baby slept peacefully in her carrier.

  “Hi!” the boy said, bouncing in his chair. His curly black hair fell into his eyes, making Sienna smile. Hu
nter’s hair did that, too, when it was time for a cut.

  “Hi,” Aaron said. “What’s your name?”

  The kid let out a stream of gibberish that had Sienna aching for Hunter.

  “Wow, that’s a cool name,” Aaron said.

  “His name is Carter,” the woman said. “Sorry—he loves talking to new people.”

  “I don’t mind,” Aaron said.

  Carter held up a car, then threw it at Aaron. He caught it mid-air, and Carter laughed.

  “Carter!” the mother said, her face turning pink. “We don’t throw our toys. I am so sorry.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” Aaron said. He made the sound of a horn, driving the car back to Carter.

  Sienna’s heart thudded in her chest. She’d been attracted to Aaron before, but now he was off-the-charts adorable.

  A few minutes after they placed their orders, an Asian man in a red chef’s hat wheeled out a cart piled with food. He grabbed a bottle and squirted oil on the grill, then dumped a bowl of chicken on it and started adding spices. Sienna’s nerves disappeared as she watched in fascination. Knives flashed in the light as he chopped and diced vegetables, managing to keep an eye on multiple meals simultaneously. Sienna gasped as he built a volcano out of onions and lit it on fire. The flames warmed her cheeks and she laughed. Across the table, Carter clapped in delight.

  Definitely a good surprise. She should’ve tried this restaurant a long time ago.

  The chef dumped a bowl of shrimp on the grill and added some spices.

  “This is my favorite part,” Aaron whispered, his breath making her shiver.

  A few minutes later, the chef pointed his spatula at Aaron, who nodded, his eyes sparkling. The chef scooped up a piece of shrimp and bounced it on his spatula, then tossed it into the air. Aaron rose out of his seat and leaned to the left, then caught the shrimp between his teeth. Sienna clapped loudly while Carter jabbered.

  “You,” the chef said, pointing at Sienna.

  She nodded, her stomach swirling with anticipation and nerves. The chef bounced the shrimp on his spatula. It sailed through the air, and she rose to catch it. She opened her mouth wide and felt the shrimp graze her tongue. Triumph surged in her veins, but the shrimp kept going, lodging in the back of her throat.