Until I Wake

by Kylie Rae

  “How could you think you’d fail? You’re amazing at everything you do.” He kissed the tip of her nose and then her cheek, and then her lips. And then he slid a hand under her skirt and they spoke no more on the subject.

  AFTER ROBIN LEFT FOR work, Whitney wandered around her apartment for a while. She washed a few of the dishes from breakfast, but left the pans in the sink. She vacuumed the center of the living room, but not the dirt around the doorway, and swept one corner of the kitchen. She didn’t have it in her to do the job right and wished she hadn’t even tried to do it at all. But she wanted to be busy. Idle hands and all that... She considered calling her mom but didn’t do it. Telling her about what had happened would only scare her, and she’d insist on Whitney moving back home at once.

  The idea brought her out of her haze. She would not let this destroy her. She’d spent too much of her life being the one someone had to take care of. Not anymore. She had to be strong.

  She took another, more deliberate and thorough shower and pulled herself together. She slipped into her favorite pair of jeans and flowy green tank top. She dabbed on makeup to cover the bags under her eyes and forced a smile at her reflection. She avoided looking into her eyes, afraid of what she would see there.

  Once she was ready to take on the day, she went to the bank to get a new debit card and dispute any transactions that had been made since the night before. But there hadn’t been any, which she thought was odd, but didn’t dwell on it. She stopped for lunch at an unfamiliar restaurant and made herself order a dish she’d never had before. And while she was on a roll for trying new things, she called Kevin.

  He answered after the third ring, and she hoped his greeting was filled with pleasant surprise and not just shock and an uncomfortable pressure to talk to her when he wasn’t ready.

  “I don’t know if this is weird, or too soon, but... I’d really like to see you today,” Whitney stumbled over her words. She was never the one to be forward and initiate things.

  “Sure thing. What’s wrong?” Kevin was at his desk and smiled at her words. He leaned back in his chair to look around his cubicle walls to make sure his boss wasn’t about to walk up on him.

  Without letting herself overthink the fact that he could already tell something was wrong, she forged ahead. “I was... someone mugged me last night.” The words were painful to say, and Whitney fought back the tears that sprang to her eyes.

  “What?” Kevin stood up. He clicked save and exit on all his documents and logged off his computer faster than he’d ever done before. “I’m leaving work now. I’ll be at your place in half an hour.”

  “Are you sure?” She tightened her grip on her phone. She’d never had anyone respond to her being upset this way, aside from Robin.

  “Yes, of course. I’m on my way.” Kevin ducked around the cubicle and dashed down the hall for the exit.

  “Okay.” Whitney allowed herself to smile and felt the butterflies in her stomach wake up again. She left a large tip on the table for her server and rushed to her apartment to meet him there.

  ROBIN SPENT HER DAY as a frazzled mess.

  Her meeting was uneventful, and she wasn’t interested in any of the pieces they’d brought for offer and she knew they’d been annoyed. But she didn’t care. They didn’t understand the aesthetic she was going for, and their art had completely missed the point. But that didn’t even matter, because Whitney had been mugged.

  Whitney; her special little flower that life so easily damaged. Robin was pissed she’d had to come to work at all, but her boss found more and more tasks for her to finish throughout the day and couldn’t get out of the building until seven that evening. She’d wanted to check in multiple times, but wasn’t sure if Whitney would have gotten a new phone yet. If she was still shell-shocked and planted on her couch...

  At lunch, Julie sought her out to ask about Whitney and she’d started crying.

  “I don’t know!” Robin exclaimed and collapsed into a chair.

  Julie sat next to her and put a hand on her arm. They weren’t that close, but she knew Robin was a strong woman and it must be a pretty critical situation for her to cry at work.

  Robin wiped her face and took a shaky breath after a second of letting her emotions show. “Sorry. She’s just... she was like a robot when I left her this morning. I wish I was still there with her to make sure she came out of her funk, but my boss wouldn’t let me call in. So I’m here, and she’s there, and I don’t have a way to call her since the guy took her fucking phone! And I can’t get out of here fast enough.”

  Julie bit her lip and then gave Robin a quick hug. To her surprise, Robin hugged her back. “If there’s anything I can do to help, let me know. I really like Whitney already, and I hope she bounces back from this quickly.”

  “Yeah... Yeah, me too.” Robin rubbed her eyes and was glad she hadn’t taken the time to apply any makeup that morning. “Thanks for checking in, though. I’ll let you know when I know something. I gotta get back to work.”

  “Okay.” Julie watched her go with a frown.

  Back in her office, Robin texted Marnie and her mother the same message to see who would get her to feel better faster.

  Robin - Whitney was mugged last night. She’s having a meltdown, and now I’m having a meltdown. What should I do?

  To her surprise, Marnie was quicker on the draw, but didn’t have quite the right sentiment.

  Marnie- I’m so sorry to hear that! Come over tonight and I’ll help you feel better though

  Robin rolled her eyes and waited for her mom to answer. The message pinged in five minutes later.

  Mom- Remember to breathe and take it one day at a time. Ask her what she needs and help her with it. But don’t smother her. You know she doesn’t like that.

  Robin took a deep breath and felt a small smile creep over her face.

  Robin- You’re right. Thank you. Love you. Call you later.

  Chapter Nine

  Whitney paced her living room and had a vague thought about how long until her path would wear through the brown carpet. Maybe she should invest in a rug. Her anxiety had a tendency to drive her to pace; helped her meet her step-count, though.

  Kevin knocked on the door and she stumbled. She was full of nervous energy and she flung open the door to smile at him.

  “You okay?” Kevin asked. He didn’t buy her act for a second.

  “No,” Whitney admitted, but her smile only stretched wider across her face.

  “Come on, let’s go for a walk.” Kevin took her hand and led her down the stairs.

  They were both silent as they started around the block. They passed a bakery. The scent of fresh bread filled their noses, and Kevin felt the tension leave her body. The hand he held relaxed its grip and the forced smile fell into a more natural one. Her shoulders loosened and at last, she let out a small sigh.

  “Thank you,” Whitney said as they turned into the park.

  “For what?”

  “For coming over.” She bit her lip before admitting her true feelings. “I think I might have gone crazy if I was alone for another minute.”

  “I’m happy to help.” He squeezed her hand. “You can call me anytime.”

  They fell back into a comfortable silence and followed the path. The trees cast shadows onto the sidewalk as the sun continued its journey to the horizon. The stream gurgled beneath their feet when they crossed the bridge. Whitney watched the squirrels and the birds while Kevin examined her face. Before they could start around the trail a second time, they sat on a bench and Kevin pulled her close.

  They gazed into each other’s eyes and Kevin admired the way the light breeze caused her hair to play around her face. Just as he thought it was the right time to kiss her, Whitney whispered, “I was so scared.”

  “You’re safe now,” Kevin said. He rubbed his nose against hers and then drew back.

  “The gun... it was...” Whitney pushed a finger into the center of her forehead. She shuddered and closed her ey
es.

  Kevin held her tighter and tried to find the right words. “You’re strong, and I know you’re going to get through this.”

  “I could have been killed...” Her eyes were glazed over when she opened them again. She stared out at the trees without really seeing them.

  “But you weren’t. You’re here with me. Safe.” He kissed her cheek and her expression softened.

  “Safe?” She locked eyes with him, and Kevin could see how afraid she really was. She was trying her best to cover it up, but it stared out at him plain as day.

  “I’ll never let anything happen to you,” Kevin said.

  “Pinky promise?” She held up her hand.

  He smiled. “Pinky promise.” He hooked his pinky around hers and pulled her closer for a kiss.

  When they broke apart, her face had regained some color and an actual smile lit up her eyes.

  “Let’s go watch a movie. Keep your mind off other things for a bit.”

  “Okay.”

  He pulled her to her feet, and they headed back to her apartment.

  BEN LEANED BACK IN his gaming chair and took a long pull from the joint. “This is good shit, man,” he said and exhaled a large cloud of smoke.

  “Only the best,” Corey said. He broke up more weed on the coffee table and his stubby fingers were coated in green powder.

  “Don’t I know it. That acid from the other night was next level.”

  Corey let out a laugh. “Oh man, speaking of... I dropped some too. Best. Trip. Ever. Thought I stole my brother’s gun and robbed a chick. Ended up in the kitchen threating the fridge with a fork!”

  Ben laughed and puffed on the joint again. “Sounds like a good time.”

  “Yeah, except,” he rubbed a hand over his short hair and then shrugged, “I found a fanny pack and a cell phone in my room. Must have stolen it from someone for real. I don’t remember going anywhere, but who knows.” It didn’t particularly phase him.

  “Oh, shit!” Ben was still laughing. The idea of his dealer accidentally robbing someone was the best thing he’d heard all week.

  “Yeah. I don’t even know, man. Guess that makes me a ‘wanted man.’ It’s fuckin’ hilarious.”

  They passed the joint back and forth a few more times before Corey packed up his things into an army green backpack.

  “Gotta make a few more stops before work tonight. Here’s yours.” Corey tossed a loaded bag onto the table. “Catch you later.”

  “See ya.”

  Ben relaxed, took another hit, and closed his eyes. He could fall asleep right here...

  “Dude!”

  Ben jerked upright and dropped the last of the joint on the floor. Kevin stood over him, an amused smile on his face.

  “Shit! What did you do that for?” Ben scrambled around looking for the roach.

  “Your entire floor reeks. I knew Corey had been here as soon as the elevator doors opened.” He flopped onto the tattered couch.

  “What’s your point?” Ben returned to his chair, flicked the roach onto the table, and scooped more weed into a fresh paper.

  “You’re going to get in trouble one day.”

  “Nah, he sells to most of these people and everyone else doesn’t care.”

  “Oh, sure. Until someone important comes up here for maintenance or to show around a new tenant.”

  “You worry too much. Shut up and smoke with me, lame ass.”

  Kevin sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, okay. It’s been an interesting day.”

  “Interesting how?” Ben passed the crisp new joint across the table.

  “Well, I left work early to go see Whitney-”

  “Oh, she already got you trained like that?” Ben made a whipping motion and laughed.

  “No, shut up. It was an emergency. She didn’t need to be alone today.”

  “Sure, sure. An emergency.” He gyrated his hips and winked.

  “She was mugged last night at gunpoint.”

  “Oh.” Ben’s smile faded, and he looked away and thought about Corey’s story. “Is she okay?”

  “Physically, yeah.” Kevin coughed as he exhaled. “But I could tell she’s pretty shook up.”

  “I can imagine.” Ben kept his eyes on the table, debating on telling Kevin what Corey had said. But what if it wasn’t Corey, and it was just a coincidence? He’d come to in his kitchen after all. But the fanny pack and the phone...

  “Hopefully, the police will catch the guy,” Kevin went on. He didn’t notice how distracted Ben had become. “I’m sure she would help feel better if he was locked up. Safer, anyway.”

  “Yeah. Do they have any leads?”

  “No. There wasn’t anyone close enough to be a good witness. And Whitney didn’t get a good look at the guy.”

  “Aw, damn...”

  “Yup.” Kevin took another hit and passed it back. “I’d better get home. I told Whitney I’d call her to make sure she was doing okay. Plus, I have twice as much to do at work tomorrow since I dipped out today.”

  “It’s the price you pay for women, man.”

  “Shut up. You’re just jealous.”

  “You know I’m right though.” Ben laughed.

  “Whatever.” Kevin closed the door behind him and Ben’s face fell.

  “Well, shit....” He wasn’t sure if he should warn Corey. At least give him the heads up, he might have done something pretty bad. But he’d probably just laugh it off. “Drugs, man,” he’d say. Besides, there were no witnesses. There wasn’t really anything to worry about... It would all be okay.

  IF YOU’RE NOT NEAR the casino, the city is deserted by eleven pm. Only late-night workers would be seen on the streets, and they’re all making a beeline for home. Windows are dark and everything is quiet.

  A slim figure dressed in a black sweatshirt and jeans wanders down the street. At first glance, you barely even notice they’re there. They blend into the shadows and move at such a sedate pace that they don’t draw any attention to themselves.

  Until they step over to the curb and fiddle with the handle of a car parked there. A few more feet and they tug on the door of the next car. And the next. Until they seem to get desperate and stick their fingers under the edge of the window to tug on the doorframe.

  “What are you doing to my car?” A woman stands several feet down the sidewalk with her toes pointing away in case she needs to make a run for it.

  But the figure freezes, lets out a screech of rage, and takes off at a dead sprint down the street.

  The woman is stunned, but jumps into her car and locks the doors behind her in case it was some kind of trick. But she doesn’t see anyone else around, and after a few minutes, she drives herself home and forgets about the incident completely.

  VERNON STEPPED OUT of the stairwell and tugged the leash of his dog to make her slow down. He couldn’t keep up with her urgency anymore; the pain in his hips was almost unbearable. But he loved the damned dog, anyway.

  They crossed the lobby as the door swung open and Whitney walked in.

  Vernon grunted and moved to the side since she didn’t show any sign that she’d noticed him. Her head was down and her hood covered most of her face, but he recognized her as the girl that had knocked on his door and introduced herself as the “new neighbor.” She didn’t look anywhere near as peppy and bright as she had that day.

  Vernon watched her trudge up the stairs, her feet thudding into the wood, and scowled. It was too late for people to be that loud in the halls, but he kept his thoughts to himself. The leash tugged against his hand and he remembered why he was in the lobby and turned back to the door to take his dog outside. But he made a mental note to complain about the girl being loud in the evenings if she kept up this odd behavior.

  Chapter Ten

  Whitney sat in front of her bathroom mirror the next morning and put on more makeup than usual. She was determined to cover the bags under her eyes. She wanted to look strong; she didn’t need everyone bugging her about whether she fe
lt okay. They were all sure to have heard the new girl had been mugged. This scenario had never crossed her mind to be the way everyone learned who she was. The girl who spilled an entire tray of drinks on her first day, sure, that was possible. But the girl mugged in the parking lot... That was less than ideal.

  But the worst part of all was that she wasn’t okay. She hadn’t slept well. She’d tossed and turned all night, and her bed now looked like a tornado had struck it. Grey tinged her skin and the bags under her eyes could fit her entire book collection. But they didn’t need to know that. Fake it til you make it, or something like that.

  When she emerged from her apartment at last, Robin waited for her in the hallway. She handed Whitney a cup of coffee without a word. She didn’t look very awake either, and it made Whitney feel a fraction better. They walked all the way to the casino in silence, and Robin gave her a tight hug at the doors before they parted ways. That’s what friends were for.

  “Whitney!” A voice called, and she jumped. Julie jogged across the lobby to her side. “How are you feeling?”

  “Fine,” she answered with a little more bite than she’d intended. Julie actually cared, so she was bound to ask questions. She tried to get her anger in check.

  “Okay, good.” Julie handed her a headset and radio. “You’re in lounge three today. I’ll be next door if you need anything. Anything at all.”

  “Okay.” Guilt twinged in Whitney for snapping as she watched Julie walk away with less pep in her step. But she needed to be strong. It was going to be fine.

  Whitney entered lounge three and noise assaulted her. A small group gathered around one machine and cheered on the player seated there. Her skin crawled at the overstimulation, but she walked to her station, anyway. She rubbed her eyes and tried to put on her game face. She could do this.

  She tucked the headset into her ear and picked up the first clipboard. First thing was the check that all the machines were in working order. Just put one foot in front of the other and get through the day. That was all she had to do. And this job was simple, really. Complete the task sheets, help fill drink orders, answer questions, repeat.