Shattered (A Bad Boy Romance Novel)

by Natalie Baird

  “It was you,” I breathed, “You sent that...person...to wait for me in the dark.”

  “Guilty,” Robert said lightly, “I’m glad to see that my methods are so effective.”

  “How could you do something like that?” I asked, “That man could have killed me.”

  “No one was going to kill you,” Robert said, rolling his eyes, “What a dramatic little thing you are. My men only kill with my permission. Now, if they had seen you leaving Anderson’s apartment all dolled up for the next fight, then yes, they would have killed you. But you’ve passed the test. You’re leaving, I take it. That’s so much for the better. I don’t really like picking off innocent young women, Kaela. Especially those with such lovely figures as yourself. The world needs as many lovely figures as it can get.”

  I sat staring at him, struggling to take in all he was telling me. “You were going to have me killed if you thought I was staying with Anderson,” I said.

  “That is correct,” he answered.

  “And you decided to come here and reveal this to me because...?” I prompted.

  Robert swung his gaze my way for the first time. A look of maniacal satisfaction, of smug, murderous glee, was fixed up his face. “Think about it like this,” he told me, “I am so confident in my ability to pick you off like a fly, without any chance of repercussions, that I am comfortable with strolling on down here after you and letting you know. Your life is so insignificant that I can confront you in the most public of places and reinforce my warning without a care in the world. I could kill you tonight and sleep soundly. I am more concerned about what I’m having for dinner than I am whether you wake up tomorrow morning. If you get on your train like a good girl and never see Anderson again, I’ll let you live in peace. But if you ever see him again, I will know. And I will kill you.”

  “But why?” I said softly, paralyzed with fear, “Why do you want to kill me?”

  “Because you are endangering my investment,” Robert said.

  “Anderson?” I asked.

  “Obviously,” Robert said, “I have put far too much time and resources in that boy for you to fuck it all up.”

  “Is his fighting career that important to you?” I asked.

  Robert laughed coldly. “Of course not,” he scoffed, “You don’t think I have any emotional attachment to the kid, do you? He’s a race horse. I snatched him up when he was small and bred him to be a champion.”

  “You didn’t snatch him,” I said, “You took him in when his parents were killed.”

  “That’s one way to put it,” Robert said, “Another way is that I had those lowlifes killed and got two potential prize hogs in the process.”

  “His father was your friend,” I said, aghast.

  “That’s what Anderson believes,” Robert said, “And it’s a bold faced lie. His father was a broke, miserable failure who came to me for a loan when Anderson was born. Eventually, when it became clear that my loan would never be repaid, I decided to accept my payment in the form of Anderson and his brother. The interest being the parents’ lives, of course.”

  “That’s horrible,” I breathed.

  “That’s business,” Robert said, “You see, I had just cooked up this fantastic scheme to build my fortune. I’d been buying up fight clubs for years, building my network. The New York ring was my crowned jewel. But still, even taking a cut of all the money that went through the clubs was small change compared to what a prize fighter would bring me. I’d been training the boys for years, but I couldn’t figure out a way to get them interested in the underground scene. The younger one was never good enough, of course. He never pulled his weight. That ridiculous boy assumed that I’d be willing to send him off to college on my dime. I didn’t take him in so that I could be a piggy bank. But just as he was packing up to go, I had a stroke of genius. I’d killed off the parents already. Why not use the little brother as a sacrificial lamb?”

  “You...You killed Toby?” I asked, my chin beginning to quiver.

  “Not directly,” Robert said, waving away my question, “I did, however, pit him against the most ruthless fighter I could get my hands on. The man had already killed three in the ring. I figured that my chances were good. Even if the kid had just slipped into a coma for the rest of his life, it would have been good enough motivation for Anderson. He just did me one better, is all. It couldn’t have gone better. Anderson took the bait hook, line, and sinker. And before I knew it, my club had a new champion to publicize. He had no idea that the clubs belong to me, of course. He has no idea what my profession is, exactly.”

  “And what would you call that profession?” I asked coldly.

  “Power,” he answered simply. “By whatever means possible.”

  “How has Anderson not figured this all out?” I asked.

  “God only knows,” Robert laughed, “The boy isn’t exactly sharp, is he? Toby got all the brains. He probably would have figured everything out, too, given enough time. Good thing he was finished off in a timely manner. That would have been awkward, to have killed him myself. I thought it was much more discreet to let it happen naturally.”

  “Naturally?” I hissed, “You set him up. You had their parents murdered. You raised Anderson to be a super-human fighter at the expense of his entire family. Everything he ever loved. You call that natural?”

  “Someone’s got a little spunk after all,” Robert smiled. “That’s good. I like a girl with spunk. I’m actually rather relieved that I don’t have to kill you, after all. I hate killing beautiful women. It seems like such a waste. But now that you know what I’m capable of, what I’m willing to do in order to keep Anderson right where I want him, I’m sure you’ll be a good girl and stay the fuck away.”

  “You’re a monster,” I told him, throwing caution to the wind. “You’re the lowest, most cowardly excuse for a man I’ve ever met.”

  “And you are a disposable collection of fuck-holes that is no longer my problem,” Robert said, standing up and brushing off his suit. “Have a safe trip, Kaela. And remember, if I see you back in my arena, I will have you killed. And make no mistake, it won’t be a quick death, either. If I’m going to have my men kill such a sexy thing as you, I’ll instruct them to make good use of you before you’re dead.”

  He gave me a sinister, haunting smile, and turned on his heel. I watched him fade away into the crowd, disappearing before my eyes. My mind was racing, my heart rattling against my rib cage, threatening to burst. I had no idea what to do next. Never in my life had I felt smaller or less capable. This man, this person that Anderson had trusted more than anyone on the planet, was responsible for orchestrating every hardship that Anderson had ever faced.

  I had to tell Anderson what was going on. I had to tell him everything I’d just learned. But how could I ever get close enough to tell him without putting both our lives in danger? I tried to imagine what I would say to him, how I could possibly break the news that his entire life had been a lie. Would he resent me forever, if I came bearing such ghastly news? Would he tell me I was a liar, and send me packing forever? Or would he believe me, and come to terms with the deceit he’d been living in?

  Shakily, not knowing where I was heading, I stood up from the bench. As I straightened up, I realized with cold fear that I’d begun to hallucinate. There, standing behind a tall pillar, was Anderson. Or at least, that’s what my eyes were telling me. Surely, it wasn’t really him. There’s no way he could have known where to find me. There’s no way he could have followed me to the train station. I imagined that I saw him lift his hand and wave to me, flagging me down. He wasn’t more than ten feet away. I rubbed my eyes feverishly, but he was still there when I looked again. I made my way slowly forward, not trusting my own perception. As I approached, I began to grow apprehensive. Anderson’s features were utterly set, rock solid, unreadable.

  I drew up before the apparition. He looked down at me impassively, his face frozen. With a trembling hand, I reached toward him. I gasped as my finge
rs closed around hard muscle.

  “It’s you,” I said.

  “It’s me,” he answered.

  “How did you know I was here?” I asked.

  “I was in the neighborhood,” he said once again.

  “Did you...” I started fearfully.

  “Did I hear?” he asked, “Is that what you were going to say?”

  I nodded.

  “Yes,” he said, “Yes, I heard.”

  “How much?” I asked.

  “Everything,” he said. “Every single thing.”

  I grabbed his hand with both of mine and brought it to my lips. There was nothing I could possibly say to begin making things OK. I could only stand there in the shadowy corner and offer him my love. It wasn’t much, but it was the best I could do.

  “What happens now?” I asked, looking up into his stony face.

  “I don’t know,” he said quietly. “I just don’t know...”

  We stood still amidst the sea of people that was Penn Station. Foot traffic flowed around us, yet to me, Anderson and I were the only people on the planet. I looked searchingly into his eyes, trying to see past the icy barrier that had risen there. I couldn’t begin to comprehend what he was thinking. After everything that Robert had revealed, Anderson must be reeling. I wanted to make everything better, I wanted to make him happy. But I couldn’t bring his family back. I couldn’t give him a second childhood. I could only be there for him as best I could.

  “We can’t stay here,” he said finally.

  “No,” I agreed, “I’m sure Robert’s men are lurking around.”

  “Listen,” Anderson said, looking intently into my eyes, “There’s a hotel three blocks from here. I need you to go there and wait for me.”

  “OK,” I said.

  “I won’t be there until tonight,” Anderson went on. “But you’re going to lock yourself in that room until I get there. I’ll have the rest of the plan for you then. Pay with this,” he said, thrusting a few hundred dollar bills into my hand.

  “OK,” I said, “I trust you.”

  “I know,” he said, kissing me on the forehead. “Now go.”

  I didn’t look back at Anderson as I hurried away from Penn Station. If he said he had a plan, I would trust him. I felt like a lost little girl as I picked my way through the crush of humanity that surged through the train station. I had only just begun to accept my new reality, and already it was crumbling away beneath me. I’d all but given up my old life for the fantasy that Anderson occupied. But now, his entire world was fading into fiction, too. We were nothing but two lost souls now. But at least we were in it together.

  Chapter Ten

  The hotel was small and shabby, a hole in the wall with a scrappy awning and flickering neon sign. I hurried in and slapped my cash on the counter. The concierge, a tired looking old man with dark bags under his eyes, didn’t ask any questions. He pushed a room key my way, and I hurried into the depths of the hotel.

  Our room was nothing special. A loudly-printed comforter covered a threadbare mattress, some terrible painting hung on the wall, and I could hear people coughing and chattering through the walls. To say that the room was dirty would be to dishonor dirt everywhere. This place looked like it was contagious. I gingerly lowered myself onto the flimsy bed and took a deep breath for the first time in hours. I had no idea how Anderson was going to get us out of this mess, and I wondered if even Anderson himself knew. But at least we were together, I reminded myself.

  One hour melted into the next as I waited for Anderson to return. I didn’t move a muscle the whole time for fear of drawing attention to myself. I kept replaying my conversation with Robert as I sat there. I tried to imagine the bitterness, the cruelty it must take to rob a child of his parents, his brother, and his entire life. I could never have comprehended before meeting Robert that such evil was even possible. The way he had smirked as he told me about Anderson’s family had been so easy, so guilt free. Thinking of it made me sick.

  Just as I began to worry that something might have happened to Anderson en route, I heard a key sliding into the hotel room door. I froze, hoping against all hope that I wouldn’t find a gun pointed at me when the door swung open. I nearly broke into a fresh wave of tears when Anderson appeared across the threshold. He hurried into the room, lugging a huge gym bag behind him. He tossed down the bag and crossed the room, scooping me up into his arms. I melted against him, feeling safe for the first time since the cold kiss of that blade had touched my throat.

  “Were you followed?” I asked.

  “No,” he told me, “I made sure of it.”

  “How?” I asked.

  “I may have led Robert to believe that I’d spotted you on the other side of town,” Anderson said, “The flunkies went off to find you.”

  “To kill me,” I said flatly.

  “No one’s going to kill you,” Anderson said fiercely, “No one’s going to lay a finger on you.”

  “What are we going to do?” I asked him, laying my hands on the firm planes of his chest, “This is so far over my head, Anderson.”

  “Mine too,” he said, “And that’s saying something.”

  “I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now,” I said, “Robert’s been like a father to you.”

  “No,” Anderson said, “Robert doesn’t deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence as my father. My father was a hardworking, noble man. My mother was a hard ass and a saint. Toby was the brightest, kindest person in the entire world. Robert is scum. Robert deserves to rot in hell. Robert’s going to get his, and I’m going to be the one who gives it to him.”

  “You’re not going to kill him?” I asked breathlessly. “That wouldn’t make things right.”

  “No,” Anderson said, “I’m not going to kill him. I’m going to do much worse than that. I’m going to ruin him. Everything he’s ever built.”

  “How?” I asked.

  “I’m working on it,” Anderson said, “But first, we have to make sure you’re safe. I checked the perimeter when I came in, no one knows you’re here. Can I see your phone?”

  I handed my cell over to Anderson. He carried it into the bathroom, tossed it in the sink, and turned on the water.

  “Hey!” I said.

  “GPS,” he answered, “I won’t have you tracked down.”

  “How are we going to get away from them?” I asked, “How are we ever going to escape?”

  “First of all,” Anderson said, “We’re going to change your look.”

  “Change my...? I hardly think this is time for a styling session,” I said incredulously.

  “No,” Anderson said, grabbing the bag and showing me its contents. I spotted a box of black hair dye, an electric razor, spray tanner, a thousand other cosmetics.

  “Oh,” I said.

  “We’ll hide you in plain sight,” Anderson said, “Let’s get started.”

  I submitted to Anderson’s discretion. It was the only thing to do. My life was in his hands now. And though we were in more danger than I could even fathom, I trusted him to lead me through it. I trusted him to the ends of the earth and back.

  He helped me out of my torn and faded clothes, tossing them in a heap on the dirty carpet. I shivered as the air hit my skin. My nipples stood up at attention as Anderson took me in. Even now, we couldn’t turn off our desire for each other, but we had work to do. It would have to wait.

  I stood in the hotel shower as Anderson shook up the can of spray tanner. I had to fight to keep from getting excited. There was a morbid sort of thrill to all of this that I couldn’t deny. I closed my eyes as Anderson sprayed me down, turning my milky white skin a dark shade of olive. I turned in slow circles, giving him access to every inch of me. I was used to submitting to him, after all. His ministrations now felt like another expression of his love for me. I suppose that’s what it was.

  I scarcely recognized myself when I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror. “Won’t this wash away?” I asked Anderson. />
  “Maybe if you had a fire hose,” he said, giving my ass a final spray, “I got the good stuff, don’t worry.”

  I approached my image in the bathroom mirror, marveling at the transformation. “They still might be able to recognize me,” I said.

  “Oh, we’re not even close to finished,” he said. “Sit down on the edge of the bath tub.” I did as he said, watched as he drew a long pair of scissors from his gym bag. I grabbed hold of my long blonde hair protectively. I’d been growing it out since I was five, after all, and it had never even been cut above my shoulders. “I know,” Anderson said, “But you can’t be recognizable. The hair has to go.”

  “OK,” I said softly, letting go of my locks. “Whatever you say.”

  Anderson approached and knelt beside me, taking my long hair into his hand. I closed my eyes as he separated the blades and placed them against my hair. With a sharp, clean sound, the first cut was made. My hand flew to my head, and I let out a little yelp of surprise as I felt my hair end just below my chin.

  “It’s OK,” Anderson said, “Just trust me. It’s going to be OK.”

  I kept my eyes closed for the rest of the process, hearing the scissors clicking in my ears. Anderson produced the electric razor to clean up the edges of my new cut, the vibrating teeth sending little shivers around my spine. The whole thing was so far removed from anything I’d ever experienced before. I could feel a breeze against my neck, knew that Anderson was taking everything off.

  He set the scissors and razor down and brought out the black dye. I was beyond the point of arguing with him. Anderson covered my shoulders and began to apply the stuff himself. He rubbed the stinging solution into what was left of my scalp, the entire bathroom filled up with the foul smell of it. He spread a tiny bit of dye onto my eyebrows as well, and cleaned up as the minutes passed. We rinsed out my shorn locks, and I finally decided to chance a look in the mirror. I approached the sinks, taking a deep breath.

  “Oh my god,” I muttered as I brought my eyes up to the mirror.