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38. Noisy environments
39. Crowded environments
40. Driving in urban areas
41. Driving a standard shift vehicle
42. Driving a motorcycle
43. Giving driving directions, copying down driving directions, following driving directions
44. Owning property
45. Gardening
46. Telephone landlines
47. Petitions
48. Rooting for sports teams
49. Risk
50. Conspiracy theories and discussion with people who believe in conspiracy theories
51. Religious worship
52. Gambling
53. Waiting in lines
54. Going to concerts (particularly when there is no seating)
55. Dining in restaurants
56. Eating at tables
57. Morning appointments
58. Re-sealable packaging (does not work)
59. Grapes with seeds
60. Zappa
61. Inkjet printers
62. Pencils
63. Use of semi-colons
64. Pynchon
65. The New Yorker
66. Science Fiction (especially all the different versions of Blade Runner, totally unnecessary)
67. Science
68. Book Clubs
69. DVD Easter Eggs
70. Anime
71. Freelance anything
72. Collaboration, partnership (fair share of labor impossible to determine, plus other obvious problems)
73. British-style crosswords
74. Museums
75. Hugging a mummy
©DANIELLE LURIE
OWEN KING is a graduate of Vassar College and holds an MFA from the Columbia University School of the Arts. He is the author of We’re All in This Together: A Novella and Stories, as well as the co-editor of Who Can Save Us Now? Brand-New Superheroes and Their Amazing (Short) Stories. His writing has appeared in Fairy Tale Review, One Story, Prairie Schooner, and Subtropics, among other publications. Owen has also taught creative writing at Columbia University and Fordham University and is a working screenwriter with a script in development by the producer of Winter’s Bone. He is married to the novelist Kelly Braffet.
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COPYRIGHT © 2013 SIMON & SCHUSTER
ALSO BY OWEN KING
We’re All in This Together: A Novella and Stories
Who Can Save Us Now? (co-editor)
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This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
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First Scribner hardcover edition March 2013
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.
ISBN 978-1-4516-7689-1
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Page 163: “A Brief for the Defense” from REFUSING HEAVEN: POEMS by Jack Gilbert, copyright © 2005 by Jack Gilbert. Used by permission of Alfred A. Knopf, a division of Random House, Inc. Any third party use of this material, outside of this publication, is prohibited. Interested parties must apply directly to Random House, Inc. for permission.