“It’s Réiltín, she’s gone missing. Isla rang me to say she was due home at nine o’clock but she never arrived. She went to the cinema with some friends earlier on but I spoke to Charlotte who was with them and she said that Réiltín had left the cinema early and gone home.”
“Oh, shit.” He jumped up and reached for the jeans that he had been wearing earlier. He thrust his legs into them and pulled a sweater down over his head. “Her friends must know something – they must know where she is. C’mon.”
“Where are we going to go?”
“We’ll drive over to Charlotte’s house and talk to her.”
“But she said that Réiltín left early and went home!”
“And you believe her? She’s a teenager. I bet she knows more than she’s telling us.”
Jo nodded silently and followed him down the stairs and into the car.
She rang Isla to update her on the way.
“Any sign of her?” Jo asked.
“No,” Isla said, feeling useless.
“Well, we’re calling to one of her friends now to see if she knows anything.”
“I’m so sorry, Jo – I really am.”
At least she has the good grace to sound upset, thought Jo. “Just stay where you are in case she comes back.”
“Of course – if I hear anything, I’ll let you know straight away.”
“I’d better go – we’re here now.”
Jo hung up just as Ryan was pulling up outside Charlotte’s house.
He hopped out and ran up to the front door with Jo running behind him.
Sarah answered immediately to Ryan’s knock.
“Sarah, sorry for calling so late,” Ryan said, “but I was wondering if we could talk to Charlotte for a few minutes to see if we can find out where Réiltín is?”
“We’re very worried,” Jo added and immediately felt stupid. It was after eleven o’clock at night and they were knocking on this woman’s door – it was obvious that they were worried.
“Sure, of course. Come in and sit down while I go and wake her.”
They followed her into the small living room and sat down on a well-worn sofa, which was moulded into the shape of the people who sat on it. The TV was showing some US cop drama. The wall above the fireplace was crowded with mismatched frames of family portraits. There were children on their first day of school, Communions, Confirmations, family weddings and graduations. She knew that Charlotte was one of five children and Jo couldn’t help but reflect on how different this room was compared to her own orderly living room with its symmetrical frames and complementary artwork. There was something soothing about the room. It was warm and relaxed and she could imagine them all seated around watching The X Factor together or something. Jo never watched The X Factor; she couldn’t stand those types of shows. Réiltín loved it of course. She suddenly felt the most acute wave of sadness in her heart as she realised that she never watched TV with Réiltín. She should have watched it with her. Even if she didn’t like the same shows, she should have just watched them for her sake. An involuntary choking sound escaped her mouth and tears made their way down her face.
Ryan stood up when Sarah came back down the stairs with a sleepy-looking Charlotte following behind her.
“I’m sorry for disturbing you, Charlotte,” Ryan said, “but Réiltín never came home this evening and apparently you were with her at the movies earlier?”
Charlotte nodded vigorously. “I was, but she left the cinema early,” she said quietly.
“But why would she do that?” Jo asked.
Charlotte shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know – she’s been acting weird lately anyway so we just thought that she wanted to go home early or something.”
“Well, do you know where she went?” Ryan demanded.
“I thought she was going home but she obviously didn’t.”
“Is there anywhere else you think she might have gone?”
“I don’t know.” She looked panicked and her eyes darted towards her mother.
“Charlotte, you need to tell Jo and Ryan everything,” her mother said sternly. “They need to know what happened for Réiltín’s sake.”
“Look, we’re so worried about her, Charlotte. Please, do you know where she is?” Ryan pleaded.
“Please, Charlotte, think for a minute,” said Jo. “Is there anywhere at all she might have gone?”
Charlotte was silent for a minute, then she said, “Well . . . maybe you should try the beach . . .”
“Why on earth would she go there at this hour of the night?” Sarah asked, shocked.
“Rick and some of his friends usually hang out on Seals’ Rock. Sometimes we head down there too,” Charlotte answered sheepishly.
“Who’s Rick?” Jo asked once again, feeling that she barely seemed to know her own daughter any more.
“A guy Réiltín is into – they’ve been together a few times – it’s on-off all the time.”
“Okay, thanks, Charlotte,” Ryan said. He turned to Jo. “C’mon, we’d better go and see if we can find her.”
Chapter 36
Alone
Réiltín knew that she was drunk. Her head was starting to spin. She eventually spotted Rick and his mates at the rocks. She kept walking and climbed up onto one of the rocks near where they were sitting. She purposely didn’t go right up beside them but close enough so that they saw her there. She wobbled a bit before catching her balance again. Nobody said hi to her as she sat down on the slanting face of a large stone and hugged her knees against her chest. She couldn’t figure Rick out at all – one minute he was all over her and then the next day he blew cold again. It was all Doireann Walsh’s fault. He had been really keen until she came on the scene. She watched from outside the group as Rick and his friends wittered on about some YouTube video with a dog. A dog who could sing apparently and they thought it was the funniest thing they had ever seen. They were taking turns passing the phone around to watch it. She lifted the Coca-Cola bottle to her mouth and took another gulp of the Coke and vodka she had mixed together. The wind blew the wispy strands of her hair into her face and she tucked them back behind her ears. She drank some more but he still didn’t come over to her. Eventually she decided to get up and go over to talk to him. She wanted to have it out with him but she slipped and lost her footing again as she crossed over the treacherous rocks. Her leg scraped against its jagged sharpness and when she looked down she saw that an angry red gash had appeared along her shinbone. It was stinging like mad. She sat back down again and tried to clean it up with a tissue from her bag. She looked around but nobody seemed to have noticed. They were all too busy crowding around the phone. Everyone was getting excited about that silly dog video and here she was with the biggest secret and nobody knew about it. No one knew she was staying with Isla; she had managed to keep it hidden from them all. She didn’t want anyone to know what was going on. She would be mortified if anyone ever found out.
After a while she saw a group walking up the beach towards them. She couldn’t make them out in the darkness but as they drew closer she saw that it was Doireann and some of her friends from the year above. Réiltín’s heart sank as Rick climbed down from the rocks and made his way across the sand to them. She watched him walk with his jeans low-slung and his hoody pulled up over his head. She looked on as he put his arm around Doireann’s shoulders. Then they both climbed back up onto the rocks and sat down beside each other. He leant in and whispered something to Doireann. They both turned to look over at Réiltín and then they started to laugh. She felt the hurt grow inside her. Someone passed the phone to Doireann and she threw her head back and laughed at the dog video.
She knew she should just go home. She knew that Isla would probably be wondering where she was but she didn’t care. She didn’t care about anything any more. She stood up again and climbed down from the rocks. She slipped at the bottom and righted herself before sitting back down to steady her head.
After a while she
saw Doireann’s blurry shape stand up and heard her announce that she had to go home before her parents came looking for her. Réiltín watched as Rick jumped up and offered to walk her home. His friends soon got up and trailed after them, leaving Réiltín on her own. No one had even said goodbye to her, not one person. Certainly not Rick and Doireann. Soon they were all out of sight.
She dragged herself up again and walked past the steps. She knew that she was stumbling and falling over but she didn’t care. She didn’t care about anything any more. She kept on going along the sand until she was standing below her house on Sandymount Heights. The light in the living room was still on. She stood on the strand under the moonlight and stared up at the house. She watched as a shadow moved behind the curtain. She wished things could go back to the way they were before. She longed to breeze in through the door and say ‘Hi, Dad, how was your day’ or ‘Hi, Mum, what’s for dinner?’. She even missed Oscar’s wet nose nudging her for a rub behind the ears. She longed for the carefree existence that she had before, when she knew who her parents were. Where she could watch that dog video and laugh at it like everyone else. Everything had fallen apart on the day she learnt about how they had made her. This beach had been her playground as a child, fishing for periwinkles, poking crabs with sticks, chasing off gutsy seagulls, throwing sticks for Oscar, clambering over the slippery rocks with her mum calling to her from the sand to be careful. It was all a fabrication – her whole life to this point was a lie. She walked down towards the water, which was gently lapping the shoreline. She took off her shoes and felt her weight sink down into the squidgy sand. The water was cold as it hit her ankles. She stayed standing there. She turned behind her to look up at the house. The light was still on. She started to cry. Tears came streaming down her face and she couldn’t stop them. She wanted to be a little girl again; she wanted her mum to hug her close. She wanted all this to stop, for someone to take the pain and the lies away. She wanted things to go back to the way they were before, when her parents were her parents. She didn’t ask for this, she just wanted to be safe in that house and know that she was wanted. Suddenly she felt an awful sensation. Her chest felt tight like she had been winded. She felt her chest grow even tighter, like her ribs had locked into position and wouldn’t move, like there were one hundred men sitting on her chest. She reached into her pocket for her inhaler and realised that she had forgotten to bring it out with her. Her breathing turned into a wheeze and she felt the familiar closing of her airway. She began to panic as she tried to fight it but she knew that that was the worst thing she could do. Tight, tight, tighter. She fell down onto the hard sand and the water rushed in around her.
Chapter 37
Searching
Isla sat on the sofa and fumbled with the phone in her hands. Her trembling fingers had to make several attempts to dial his number.
“Isla?” a sleepy voice answered.
“I’m sorry for calling so late, Greg, but Réiltín has gone missing.”
“What happened?”
“Well, she didn’t come home this evening when she was supposed to. I’m so worried about her, Greg.” Her voice choked with tears.
“Oh no, Isla – I’ll be straight over.”
Fifteen minutes later, the doorbell went. She went downstairs and let him in. He climbed the stairs after her and when they reached the top he took her in his arms.
“So tell me what’s happened.”
“I don’t know. She was meant to be home by nine but when she didn’t come home by eleven I was starting to worry. I rang Jo and they’re trying to find her now. I have to wait here in case she comes back to my place. Apparently she was with her friends at the cinema but she left the cinema early without them and no one has seen her since.”
“Sit down there and I’ll make a cup of tea for us, yeah?”
She sat down on the sofa and he placed a throw around her shoulders before going over to fill the kettle.
“I’m sorry for calling you like this, Greg, and dragging you out at this hour but thanks for coming. I couldn’t bear to be on my own.”
“She probably just lost track of time or went to a party somewhere – you know what teenagers are like,” he said as he flicked the switch on the kettle.
“I hope so, Greg, I really do. It’s all my fault – I should have kept a closer eye on her.”
He made the tea and sat down beside her. She looked up at the clock on the wall and saw it was almost midnight. The longer it went on the worse the sense of dread that grew inside her. All kinds of thoughts were jumping into her head and she couldn’t stand it.
“Anything could be happening to her, Greg. What if she’s met some creep – oh God, it doesn’t even bear thinking about. I will never forgive myself if anything happens to her, Greg!” She turned and sobbed into his shoulder.
“Don’t think about any of that stuff now. It’s pointless and isn’t going to help anyone. She’s probably fast asleep in a friend’s house somewhere, I’m telling you.” He placed his hand over hers.
“I’m so glad that you’re here – I don’t think I could cope without you.”
“Hey, I’m glad to be here with you.” He leant in, put his arm around her shoulders and kissed her hair gently and it was then that she finally realised that this was where she felt safe. Why had she stopped herself from feeling this for so long? Here in his arms was where she belonged.
Ryan and Jo were hurrying along the beach, stepping over seaweed and driftwood, calling Réiltín’s name as they went. Jo had rung as many of Réiltín’s friends as she could on the short journey to the beach but nobody seemed to know where she was. As they hurried up the beach Ryan swept the torch in an arc from right to left and back again. There was no moon in the sky and the sound of the gentle waves lapping the shore seemed sharper, more intense now compared to during the daytime.
“Réiltín? Can you hear us, Réiltín?” Ryan shouted.
But the only response was the whissssssssh of the waves as they gently broke on the shoreline.
Finally they reached the sleek black crop of stones known as Seals’ Rock but it was deserted. Ryan clambered over the rocks, shining the torch across their backs. They glistened black, sleek and treacherous in the torchlight. A crumbling cliff face hugged the rocks from behind.
“Where do we go now?” Jo was forlorn.
“Come on, we’ll check down the other end of the beach – if we don’t find her there, then we’ll have to go to the Gardaí.”
“Oh God,” Jo cried, placing her palms over her face.
Ryan put his arm around her shoulders and gave her a squeeze. “Come on, we need to hurry.”
They turned and made their way back along the beach, tracing the path they had just come. They went past the steps and kept going until they were in front of the street where their house was. Ryan stopped and shone the torch again in a three-hundred-and-sixty-degree circle.
“What’s that?” he said as he spotted a dark lump lying at the water’s edge.
He ran towards it, Jo following behind.
Then they saw her illuminated by the torchlight, lying on the sand, in a shallow bath of seawater.
When the reached her they saw that her lips were purple, her usually porcelain skin blue.
“Réiltín?Réiltín?” Ryan roared. “Oh God, no!” She was unresponsive and when he placed his palm on her chest her ribcage was only barely moving. “I think she’s had an asthma attack!”
He fished his phone out of his pocket and with trembling hands dialled the number for the emergency services.
“Oh, Réiltín, love,” Jo cried, tears streaming down her face. She hugged her daughter’s head close to her chest. Her skin was cold to the touch. “I can’t lose you. You’re strong, Little Star, you’re a fighter,” she whispered in her daughter’s ear.
Eventually the glare of the blue flashing lights broke the darkness up on the road overhead. Ryan ran up the beach to meet the crew and brief them on Réiltín’s medical histor
y.
As the paramedics set to work, Ryan and Jo stood back helplessly and watched. They hooked Réiltín up to an oxygen mask before carefully lifting her onto a stretcher. They followed behind numbly as the crew carried her across the sand and up the stone steps leading back up to the road.
“We can only allow one in the back with her so which one of you wants to go?”
“I will,” Jo said quickly, looking at Ryan with begging eyes.
“Sure,” he said. “I’ll follow in the car.”
“Okay, let’s go,” said the paramedic.
A shaking Jo got into the back of the ambulance and held onto her daughter’s icy hand.
As they sped through the city she caught glimpses of familiar buildings through the orange tint of the ambulance windows. Eventually she saw that they had reached the hospital. As soon as they stopped, the back doors flew open and Réiltín’s stretcher was wheeled out by the paramedics and into the hospital where she was greeted by a team of doctors who rushed off with her, leaving Jo and Ryan to cling to each other in the foyer.
They found a row of hard plastic chairs and sat down. As they sat there under the bright hospital lights the waiting seemed interminable. The whole thing felt surreal. Jo felt as though she was an actor in someone else’s life. In just a few short weeks her whole world had been turned upside down and was barely recognisable to her any more. The hardness of the chair underneath was the only reminder that this was all real life and not some awful nightmare.
At some point Jo remembered to phone Isla and let her know that they had found her.
Eventually, after what seemed like hours later, a doctor came to talk to them.
“You’re Réiltín’s parents?”
They nodded, unable to articulate a response.
“Well, the good news is that she’s stable now. You found her just in time. Her blood-oxygen saturation levels were very low – dangerously low. If you had been any later getting to her, it might have been a very different outcome.”
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