Beauty Sleep

by Kathryn Evans

  “Just sign on the bottom there. You can write, can’t you?”

  As I tried to make sense of it, I remembered one of Bert’s stories and said, “It’s not a contract for me to hand over my kidneys, is it?”

  I was sort of joking but the doctor didn’t deny it.

  Was that what this was? Seriously? They wanted my kidneys? Just when I thought I’d lost everything, they found something else to take. I started to shake but not out of fear. A new emotion was flaring inside me: the flicker of a flame of a fight.

  When the door opened and a nurse put his head around it, I shoved my chair back and tensed.

  I was woken by a soft paw batting my face.

  My head was groggy, my thoughts sluggish and confused. For a moment I couldn’t remember where I was, then Batfink meowed loudly at me.

  I sat up too quickly and my head spun. I tried to shake off the feeling that I’d had too many snakebites. It was probably hunger. When had I last eaten? I vaguely remembered drinking something before I went to bed. Why was I so confused?

  I pushed the covers back and found I was still wearing my clothes from the night before. Batfink meowed again.

  I stumbled to the bathroom for a pee and felt something sharp inside my bra. I pulled out the key card and vaguely remembered taking it from Miss Lilly’s desk. I scooped up my kitten and headed to the kitchen. There was no one around but there was a note on the white marble counter: C-plan in the fridge with strawberries and some banana. When you’re ready, call my office, M.L. x

  I fed Batfink and had my own breakfast, hoping food would clear my head. I downed the C-plan and turned on the cold tap, splashing water on my face until the world started to make sense.

  The photograph. The picture of the basement.

  Alfie.

  I’d come to Blackhurst looking for Alfie.

  And I’d just abandoned my mission. Rolled over and gone to sleep. My phone rang. I snatched it up. A message in Spiditik played across the screen.

  I’m it thi clinic. I’ll privi it ti yii, Liiri.

  I’m at the clinic. I’ll prove it to you, Laura.

  Stacey was here. My breakfast threatened to come back up.

  I backed into a corner and tried to threaten them with the chair. I couldn’t even lift it up, I was so weak. They took it off me and one of them tried to punch something into my arm. I pulled away and felt liquid dribble down my skin. I thought I’d stopped them jabbing me with whatever it was, but I can’t have, because I slid to the floor and the next thing I knew, I was on a bed and someone in blue was sliding thin needles into my elbows. It didn’t hurt, not really – fogginess clouded everything. I tried hard to think, fighting against my sluggish brain. Because even through the fog, I knew this wasn’t any kind of prison I’d ever heard of.

  I lay as still as I could while I tried to figure out what to do. They wiped my face with some sharp-smelling stuff, and one of them pressed their rubber-covered fingers against my temple and around my eye socket. My heart thudded painfully against my ribs and when they brought one of those long, thin needles near my eye, I freaked out.

  I jumped off the bed, stumbling into the woman in blue, knocking her sideways. I pulled the other needles out of me with fumbling fingers, all the time searching for an exit. I could see a couple of doors at the other end of the room but the nearest way out was a lift behind me.

  The nurse was looking at me with horrified eyes. She shuffled on her bum to get away from me. I didn’t wait for a second chance, I darted towards the lift and pushed the button to call it. The nurse got to her feet and hit an alarm next to the bed I’d been in. The noise near deafened me.

  A man came out of one of the doors at the end of the room. He looked stunned for a second and then said, “Why isn’t he sedated? He should be sedated.”

  “He was! I don’t know what happened.”

  My gaze went from one to the other.

  The man held his hands up and said, “Now then, you’re very sick. You need to stay calm.”

  “I’m not sick.”

  “Yes, you are. You don’t know it but you need our help.”

  “I am not sick. That’s sick,” I said, waving at the machine with all the tubes and needles coming out of it. And then I noticed the other beds.

  The shadowy outline of dozens of other people lying under white sheets. Tiny, thin…children. They were all children, little husks of humans. Tubes and needles trailed from their joints into machines like the one next to my bed. Sick rose up my throat as I focused on the face of one of the people. I couldn’t tell if it was male or female, but needles stuck out from behind blankly staring eyes. That’s what they’d been trying to do to me! I swallowed a scream, and banged desperately against the lift button.

  The blue-suited woman moved towards me. “This is a pioneering programme – you are very lucky to be part of it.”

  “But I’m not sick,” I said. My voice was tight, high-pitched. “I was hungry, I was knackered, but there was nothing wrong with me until you dragged me here.”

  The man stepped forward. “The delusions are part of your illness. You need to stay calm.”

  “You come any closer and…” What? What could I do? The alarm stopped ringing and I felt the lift drop to a stop behind me. That trickster hope made me think I might make it, but the ward door opened and a guard filled the doorway.

  I’d come back for a reason – I had to get into that basement. I stared at my phone, cold sweat sliding down my spine as I tried to think. I didn’t want Stacey at the clinic. If she was wrong, Miss Lilly would think I’d taken sides and… A terrible, pounding alarm rang through the building and shutters slid down over the windows. Batfink panicked and climbed up my leg onto my shoulder, her sharp little claws spiking my skin. Stacey must have broken in.

  Panic gripped me. She didn’t know I was here. What if she set fire to the place while I was trapped inside?

  I held onto Batfink and ran to the kitchen door – it was locked. I rattled the handle. Nothing. I tried the windows. The shutters wouldn’t budge. I was trapped.

  Okay. Think. The lift?

  I pressed the button to call it but then realized it wouldn’t help – I didn’t want to go up or down, I was on the ground floor. I just needed to get out. Use your brain, Laura.

  I messaged Stacey back:

  Don’t do anything crazy. I’m inside.

  Spiditik?

  Stacey, please, just don’t do anything stupid.

  I watched my phone.

  Come on. Message me back…

  Don’t trust her, Lu, please. I’m going to prove it. Alfie’s alive, I’m sure of it.

  Oh God.

  I can’t get out of the kitchen, everything has locked down. Have you triggered an alarm?

  There was a pause before she messaged.

  Not me. I’m not that close. I need to find a way in past the fence.

  Was she lying? I had no way of knowing.

  I messaged Miss Lilly:

  I’m trapped in the kitchen.

  The reply was almost immediate.

  We have a security breach. As soon as I know what’s going on, I’ll be there.

  They must know about Stacey. They must.

  There was a whining noise behind me. The lift was moving.

  My insides turned to liquid.

  There was no way out unless the lift behind me miraculously arrived in time. I should have gone for the door. Why had I thought waiting for a lift was a good idea? I was done for. I never had the luck. Never. I was screwed – three against one.

  I stepped back as far as I could, pressed right up against the lift door. For a minute, they were frozen, the woman on the floor, the man and the guard in the doorway – they just stared at me. Then they all moved, as if a switch had been flicked. I’d had it.

  They headed towards me but like a wonderful electronic miracle the lift doors opened and I fell backwards into it. I scrambled to my feet and hit a button, willing it to close and quickly.


  The big, ugly guard sprinted towards me but he caught his foot on one of the beds and went flying forward, skidding across the floor. As the lift doors closed, he was looking up at me like he’d kill me if he could.

  The lift whined its way towards me. It was a chance to go down and see for myself what was there. I could tell Miss Lilly I panicked because of the alarm. I swallowed as the doors slid apart, ready to step in, only the lift wasn’t empty. The homeless boy I’d seen at Whitman’s spilled out onto the kitchen floor. He’d cut all his hair off, shaved it close to his skull, but it was definitely him. Hedge Boy. Right there, in Miss Lilly’s kitchen.

  “You?” I said. “What are you doing here?”

  He stared at me, his eyes wide, terrified. Something glittered near his temple. I reached for it but he scuttled back against the wall and it dropped to the floor.

  It was a long, thin needle.

  We both looked at it.

  “Why? What…?” I was so confused I couldn’t even form a question.

  “Doughnut Girl? Where am I?”

  “My guardian’s house. Blackhurst Clinic.”

  “Where’s my dog?” he almost growled.

  How did he know I’d found his dog? Why was he here? What was going on? “He’s with one of the teachers. This is a clinic. A hospital.”

  “If you’ve hurt my dog, I swear I’ll…”

  “He’s not hurt. He’s fine – he’s at school.”

  The boy seemed to collapse a bit, his thin shoulders jerking with silent sobs. I had an urge to hug him, to try and stop his tears, but the kitchen door opened and Miss Lilly strode in with two nurses.

  She came straight to me. “Laura, sweetheart, are you okay?”

  Hedge Boy shrank away, his hands grasping for something to defend himself with. There was a cupboard behind him; he edged it open.

  “I’m fine,” I said. “I think this boy got lost, didn’t you?”

  Miss Lilly squeezed my shoulder gently. “This young man is here for rehabilitation but, I’m afraid, doesn’t know what’s best for him. He’ll be fine though. Once we get him back down to the ward.”

  The next few seconds unfolded like a comedy spy movie. The nurses stepped towards Hedge Boy and he pulled a container of something out of the cupboard and smashed it, first in one face and then the other. When he hit the second nurse, the container opened and dried peas went everywhere. They clattered to the floor, bouncing up and down, and in the moment that followed, a tiny whine started up as the robot vacuum appeared to suck them up.

  Miss Lilly stepped between me and Hedge Boy and began guiding me away, but not before I saw the nurses grab him, twist his arms up behind his back and force him to the floor so hard I heard his head hit the ground with a thud.

  I cried out, “No! Don’t! He’s not well.”

  “We’re aware of that, Laura,” Miss Lilly said. “Please let my staff do their job.”

  Something felt so wrong. I squirmed out of her grasp to see one of the nurses kneeling on Hedge Boy’s back, holding him still. He looked at me with enormous dark eyes. Dark, terrified eyes.

  “Stop it!” I yelled. “You’re hurting him.”

  Miss Lilly took my face in her hands and her perfume radiated towards me, so familiar, so soothing. Something clicked in my head. I remembered the night before, the smell of home, the hot chocolate, how I’d got into my lavender-scented bed and fallen so soundly asleep I could hardly remember where I was when I woke up. Had I been drugged?

  I tried to pull away, but Miss Lilly kept her hands firmly in place and said, “Darling girl, compassion is a wonderful thing, but when it’s misplaced it can do more harm than good.”

  Was it misplaced? Why was Hedge Boy in the clinic? How had he got separated from his dog? I couldn’t fit any of the threads together, but I knew one thing: I needed to work it out for myself. For whatever reason, I’d been bumbling along, letting other people make decisions for me, about me. After everything I’d been through, I’d felt like I needed someone to take care of everything – that I deserved it even. I hadn’t really questioned anything. But you can’t live like that for ever, can you? When something feels so totally wrong, you have to question it.

  I pushed my shoulders back and said, “Tell me why he’s here. What’s wrong with him?”

  A flicker of something passed over her face. It was so fast I couldn’t read it. Irritation, anger, impatience?

  “Telling you that would break patient confidentiality, Laura. I will tell you that some of my patients have been sectioned under the Mental Health Act. I’m afraid they can be dangerous. Sometimes you have to be firm.”

  “But—”

  “Laura, it’s my job. I know what I’m doing. Now, I think it’s high time you went back to Whitman’s. Can I trust you to stay here while I make some arrangements?”

  Something snapped inside me. I was done with other people making decisions for me. I had Stacey telling me one thing, Miss Lilly another. School organizing me, Marsha organizing me, even flipping Keisha organizing me. What was the point of having my life back if I was going to let other people control it for me?

  I made myself say yes as the nurses pulled Hedge Boy to his feet. Miss Lilly kissed my cheek but I stared at Hedge Boy, willing him to understand that I was going to try and help him. He glared at me as if I was worse than the nurses.

  I nearly called out as they dragged him into the lift – the betrayed look in his eyes was almost unbearable. One of them pressed the button and the door slid shut.

  They were going down. That’s what Miss Lilly had said earlier. Down to the ward. Down to the basement where Stacey’s picture of all the working cryogenic pods was taken.

  Once they’d gone, she turned back to me.

  “Time to return you to school. I’ve got one or two other things I need to do but I’ll ring Whitman’s first. We’ll soon have things back to normal.”

  Stalling for time, I scooped up my cat and said, “No rush. I haven’t seen Batfink for ages.”

  “Hmm, I think someone might be trying to avoid lessons.”

  She didn’t sound like she was hiding anything, but I felt something was wrong. The image of Hedge Boy with that needle dangling from his head played over and over in my mind. I didn’t have any idea how that fitted with the photo Stacey had shown me, or my weird skin, but I was going to find out.

  As soon as I was alone, I kissed Batfink on the head and put her down. A kind of crawling menace mingled with hope in my veins. What if Alfie was down there and they were treating him like Hedge Boy?

  I tried to call the lift but it didn’t respond. I pressed the button a few times but they must have locked it or something. Why would they do that if it wasn’t to keep me out? I’d have to find another way.

  I headed to the internal door that connected the apartment to the clinic. Miss Lilly’s key card opened the door. Now I just needed to find a way down to the basement. My heart raced as I hurried along the corridor. I was sure I’d run into someone and I did. Two people – nurses I guessed, from their blue scrubs and hairnets – came out of a side room. They nearly walked straight into me. I thought they’d demand to know what I was doing but they just smiled and walked past. I guessed they’d got used to seeing me about the place while I was recovering. Once Miss Lilly realized I’d gone from the kitchen and got everyone searching for me, that wasn’t going to be quite so helpful. If everyone recognized me, they’d find me in seconds.

  I peeked into the room they’d just left. It was a changing room. Lockers lined one wall and there was a giant laundry bin in one corner, a canvas thing on wheels. I had the maddest idea that I could get in it and somehow wheel myself around until I found whatever it was I was going to find. Like a laundry basket moving by itself wouldn’t attract attention all. That was the kind of genius idea Susan might come up with.

  A sensible disguise might help though. I tried one of the locker doors. Locked. Obviously, it was a locker. Anyway, that must be where their
day clothes were kept. Staff probably had to change into fresh scrubs whenever they came in. Which meant somewhere there must be spares.

  I found a bigger locker with a key still in it. It was full of clean scrubs. I shoved my onesie behind the laundry bin and put a suit on over my running kit. There was a pile of disposable hairnets too. I pulled one on, shoving my braids inside. It wasn’t a great disguise but…well, it was a hundred per cent better than my rabbit onesie – or wheeling myself along in a bin.

  I walked briskly along the corridor, trying to look like I had purpose. I caught a drift of scent, orange and pepper. I remembered what Miss Lilly had said about using aromatherapy to help people feel calm. Well, I didn’t want to be calm. I wanted to find out what was going on.

  At the end of the corridor was a set of double doors and through them, stairs. Stairs! I pressed the card against the keypad and it unlocked. I headed straight down two flights to another set of doors. The card worked again. Surely if there was really something terrible down there, it wouldn’t be that easy to get in? Unless I’d pinched some kind of master card. I went through, turned left and bumped straight into a guard.

  “Jesus, you gave me the fright of my life!” he said.

  Would he recognize me?

  “Sorry,” I said. “I was miles away.”

  He smiled, held his own card to the pad behind him and opened the door. “No problem. The others are already in. Guess you got held up by the alarm. He’s back now, it’s all sorted.”

  I croaked, “Okay,” and walked through.

  Tentacles of fear stroked my spine as I took in what I saw. There were no cryogenic pods but two rows of beds running down the sides of what looked like a normal hospital ward. Normal apart from two things: the lighting was extremely dim and most of the beds seemed to be occupied by unusually small and creepily still bodies under thin white sheets. My brain froze with shock as I processed what I was seeing. They were children. Wizened children with thin needles sprouting from their elbows and behind their eyes. My hand went to my throat. It was like something from a horror film.