Beauty Sleep

by Kathryn Evans

  One of them smiled at me and said, “Laura, we found something that belongs to you. Letters from your parents.”

  “Letters?”

  He nodded. “This box is full of them, for you and your brother. They must have been written while you were in cryostasis.”

  He pushed the box across the table and I glanced inside. It was almost full; I recognized Ima’s handwriting on the top one. I touched the letter but I couldn’t take it out. I couldn’t read about their pain. I just couldn’t bear it.

  I looked up at Melody. “I can’t. Not yet.”

  “I understand. Do you mind if we read them? There might be useful evidence in there. We’ll keep them safe.”

  I nodded. “I can have them back though? To read another time?”

  “Of course.”

  I didn’t know when that time would be. I couldn’t imagine ever climbing out of the pit of loss I felt in that moment. And knowing that Miss Lilly could put me out of a tiny bit of that misery if she wanted to…it dug the thorns of sorrow even deeper into my skin.

  I just wanted to know where Alfie was. Even if he was dead, I just wanted to know.

  “Did you know someone called Marcus Berthald?” Adam asked.

  I shook my head.

  “You might have known him as Mark maybe?”

  “Never heard of him.”

  “Shem, your blood tests show that you have a number of the same traits as some of the other children found here. Do you have any idea why that might be?”

  “No. What are you trying to say? I’ve done nothing wrong.”

  “We know that. No one is accusing you of anything. Laura tells us that you were brought in very recently. We’re just trying to understand why – you’re considerably older than some of the other victims.”

  “They said I was a vagrant, which I wasn’t because I had a place until they burned it down.”

  “How did you come to be homeless?”

  “I wasn’t homeless! I told you, I had a shed.”

  “Yes. Sorry, I’m just trying to establish your history so we can figure out why Miss Lilly was so interested in you.”

  Someone came out of the tent with a handful of papers and said, “I think we’ve got confirmation.”

  Adam said, “Will you wait? While I see what they’ve found?”

  “You said you’d get me something to eat.”

  “I will. Anything you want.”

  “Fish and chips and a sausage for my dog.”

  He smiled. “I’ll get on it right away.”

  I was sitting on my bed, numbly waiting for one minute to pass into the next, when Melody called me from downstairs.

  “Laura? One of your teachers is here. She brought the little dog you found and a couple of your friends.”

  Marsha?

  I ran down. In the hall stood Madam Hoosier, Keisha and Susan. Susan was holding a balloon in the shape of a carrot. Keisha flew up the stairs and nearly knocked me over with a hug.

  “You’re okay!”

  “Yes, I’m fine.”

  “We’ve got so much to tell you! The school is on emergency measures or something. The police are saying it might have been funded from criminal proceedings. We don’t know if it’s even going to stay open!”

  Madam Hoosier barked up the stairs, “Keisha!”

  I said, “What about Marsha? Have you heard anything?”

  Before Keisha could answer, Susan said, “I got you a present.” She bounced the carrot up and down, saying, “Squawk, squawk, I’m a carrot parrot.”

  I don’t know why, maybe the exhaustion had made me hysterical, but I started laughing. Then Susan let go of the balloon. It drifted upwards and bumped to a tinkling stop against Miss Lilly’s crystal chandelier and my laughter turned to tears.

  Adam took ages with the food. I nearly left, but I had nowhere else to go and it was sunny and warm and I had Scrag so I waited.

  Eventually he came back with a bundle of fish and chips wrapped in paper. I could smell the vinegar and my mouth watered but I didn’t want him to come too close.

  “Put them down there.”

  He laid the package on the floor before backing away.

  Scrag sat to attention as I collected the package warily and fished out the sausage for him.

  “Thanks,” I said.

  Adam said, “Shem, some years ago a man worked here. His name was Marcus Berthald.”

  I mumbled through a mouthful of chips, “I told you, I don’t know him.”

  “He left here with a child. A five-year-old boy who’d lost his arm. We think that child…”

  My hand stopped halfway to my mouth. “You think it was me?”

  “We believe so.”

  I forced myself to swallow. “Marcus Berthald… Bert.”

  He nodded.

  “We think Marcus…”

  “Bert.”

  “Bert…was trying to rescue you.” He gave me a sad little smile.

  I stared at him and said, “So what was I doing here? Who am I?”

  I cried on both my friends until Susan said, “I’m sorry I let go of your balloon.” Like it was that that had made me cry.

  I laughed through my sniffling and said, “Don’t be silly, it was so kind of you to bring it, thank you. Come on, let’s go down.”

  At the bottom of the stairs I said, “Madam Hoosier, I’m so sorry about running away.”

  “Shows great resource and courage, Laura. I completely understand.”

  “Will you come back to school?” Keisha wanted to know.

  I said, “Even if they’d have me back, I’ve no one to pay my fees now.”

  “Mountains turn into molehills,” sighed Susan.

  To which there was obviously no answer.

  Madam Hoosier said, “Take heart, girls, the governors are looking for new sponsors and if they succeed, there is no doubt there’ll be a place for you, Laura.”

  Even without Marsha, I knew I wanted to go back. It was the nearest thing I had to normal.

  Keisha pulled her slate from her bag. “I’ve got something to show you. It’s a message from Marsha.”

  We sat on the bottom step and she pinched an icon up to play a video.

  Marsha smiled sadly at me from the screen. She pushed her hands into her hair so it stood up in a ginger Mohican. Someone said something behind her and as she turned around I saw a woman in a medical bed. A medical bed in a tiny living room.

  Marsha said, “I know, Mum, just give me a minute.”

  She didn’t sound right. There was no trace of a Russian accent. She sounded British.

  She said, “Okay, so I haven’t been entirely honest with you.” She dashed a tear away and clenched her jaw. “This is so embarrassing. I don’t know where to start. My dad isn’t a Russian zillionaire. I don’t even see him. I live in Worthing with my mum. She’s got motor neurone disease and needs twenty-four-hour care. I was barely getting to school at all until Miss Lilly found me and offered me a chance to go to Whitman’s.”

  She pressed her fingers against her eyelids and took a breath before saying, “This is so hard. Ah well, out with it, Marsha. I was paid to keep an eye on you. I got to go to Whitman’s and I had enough to fund Mum’s care at home.”

  My jaw dropped open.

  “Miss Lilly placed me at school the term before you. Time to bed in while you recovered from being in stasis. It was a well-thought-out plan. I’d be your best friend, looking out for you…”

  She broke off. I could see her lip trembling.

  I said, “Oh, Marsha.”

  “That day we went to Brighton, she wanted me to trap your friend. I didn’t want to do it, Laura. I liked you, I really did. Miss Lilly threatened to abandon my mum and pull me out of school if I didn’t. Her people were waiting in Victoria’s bedroom, where you were supposed to meet, and then you saw your crazy friend without me. I didn’t know what to do. I don’t even know why I agreed to go to Blackhurst – maybe to show Miss Lilly that you weren’t as pliab
le as she seemed to think you were. And then the tracker kicked in and…I’m sorry. I wish we could have been proper friends. I told you though, people like me don’t get to have proper friends.”

  She leaned forward and clicked the camera off. I stared at the empty space.

  Stunned.

  Susan put her arm around my shoulder.

  I didn’t know what to say. I should have been angry but I just felt so sorry for Marsha. She’d done what she did for her family. She hadn’t even known me when I first arrived at school. She probably thought it was a great opportunity, until the person she was betraying became a real human being.

  “Laura?” Melody came in. “Sorry to interrupt. Can you come with me – to the marquee?”

  Keisha said, “We can wait here,” and then to Madam Hoosier, “Can’t we?”

  Madam Hoosier said, “If Laura wants us to?”

  I said, “Yes, please.”

  I followed Melody out of the door.

  I listened as Adam told me what they knew of my story.

  “What happened to my hand?”

  “We think it was amputated to see whether it would regenerate. They have records that show they had some success with toes on other patients – it’s not such a leap to a hand. It seems that was the point at which your Bert decided to get you out.”

  “I lost my hand for an experiment?”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  I stared at the empty space where the rest of my limb should have been. All those stories that Bert had told me about how I lost it – I never thought the one about the mad chef might turn out to be so close to the truth. That’s all I had been worth to someone – a collection of body parts.

  Then I imagined the kid I must have been and something cracked inside me. That little boy was five years old – what kind of monster could do that to a child? No wonder Bert had been paranoid about me being captured again.

  Bert. He’d saved me. God knows what he’d given up – his job, his home. Who knew what else. He might have looked like a tramp on the outside but on the inside, he was a hero. My hero. My insides seemed to swell up with tears. I didn’t want anyone to see me cry so I muttered, “Right, thanks. Well, we’ll be off then.”

  I sniffed. Stood up. No clue what I was going to do now.

  “There’s something else you should know. Can you wait five more minutes? I won’t force you to give a statement but some important information has come to light and we think you should hear it.”

  As we walked around the building Melody said, “We believe we’ve located Alfie.”

  She said it so calmly it took a moment for it to register but when it did, everything in me soared. “What? Where? Where is he? Is he okay? Oh my God, I can’t believe it!”

  “He’s not going to be what you expect, Laura.”

  “Is he in the tent? Are we going there?”

  Before she could say anything else I was running. I raced around the building, but she caught up and pulled me back.

  “Laura, listen to me. He’s changed. He…”

  Hedge Boy was sitting on the grass with his dog and a big packet of fish and chips. I was pleased to see him looking better but I didn’t have time to stop. I raised a hand to him but said, “Come on, Melody.”

  “Laura, stop. Alfie isn’t in the tent. He was revived twelve years ago. He’s a young man now. A young man who’s been through a lot.”

  “A young man?”

  Melody nodded.

  I tried to realign the picture of Alfie I had in my mind – twelve years ago? My little brother was seventeen? Older than me?

  “Where is he?”

  Melody turned and looked at the skinny boy on the grass with close-cropped hair and gaunt cheeks.

  I shook my head. Hedge Boy? Hedge Boy was Alfie?

  In my dreams of our reunion, I scooped him into my arms and snuggled his head. I promised to read him Thomas the Tank Engine and make him hot chocolate.

  “How do you know?” I said.

  Melody said, “Blood tests – your DNA matches.”

  I didn’t really understand what she was saying but as I looked at Hedge Boy, I didn’t need to.

  He was looking at me with that defiant tilt to his chin, his bottom lip sticking out but steady. The look I’d seen when I first saw him, that had seemed so familiar because it was.

  I knew him.

  My little brother was my big brother.

  And he was staring at me as if I was an alien.

  I had family.

  A sister.

  Had she known?

  Was that why she was nice to me?

  Adam said, “This is Laura, Shem.”

  She was hovering about twenty metres away. Nervous.

  I stood up and Scrag saw who I was looking at. He galloped off, the little flirt, and flung himself at her feet, wriggling on his back. She bent down to rub his tummy. Then she walked slowly over to me.

  Her hands were in tight little fists and I thought, for a minute, she wanted to hit me. Then her face crumpled and she started crying. Man, she looked ugly when she was crying, like a big sobbing pug. It made me smile.

  “Why are you laughing?”

  “I’m not! You just…your face looks funny.”

  She cried even more and then ran at me, flinging her arms around my neck so tight I had to prise her off.

  As soon as he said it, I broke.

  “Your face looks funny.”

  It was such an Alfie thing to say.

  I flung myself at him, spluttering, “I don’t care how big you are, I’ve got you back. I’ll take care of you, Alfie, I swear I will.”

  He eased away from me and said, “My name’s Shem, and I look after myself.”

  I sniffed and nodded. “Shem. Okay, Shem. It’s…nice.”

  I looked at his too thin face, at the little mole over his eye. I couldn’t resist reaching out to touch it but he pulled away. I was getting it all wrong. I didn’t even know how to speak to him. But I had my brother back and I was going to take care of him. Decades ago, I’d made him a promise. A sister promise. And one way or another, I was going to keep it.

  It’s been a year since I found Alfie.

  Shem.

  Hedge Boy.

  My brother.

  A sulkier, more tetchy person I’ve never met in my life. But, it’s fine, he’s had a rough ride and I’ve got a thick skin. He’s living here, at the school, but he won’t stay inside. He says it makes him feel trapped. We built him a shed in the grounds. He lives there with Scrag and Batfink – she can’t live with me in the school itself because too many of the girls are allergic to cats. I see her all the time though and she and Scrag are super sweet together.

  Shem is sort of being a caretaker’s assistant – he’s brilliant at fixing stuff, and he gets some tutoring from Madam Hoosier. She’s the only teacher he talks to. He has to because Scrag and Batfink are very fond of visiting her – she keeps a cooked chicken in her fridge for furry visitors, so her kitchen is a very popular destination for those two little beasts.

  When I look at how far we’ve come in the space of a year, it’s hard to believe all the stuff that happened before. There was a period after Miss Lilly’s arrest when they found shocking thing after shocking thing. The graves were the worst. It breaks my heart to think about all those lost children. The police are still trying to identify some of them. I can’t bear it that we don’t know who they are. They need to have their names back so they can always be remembered. Shem thinks we should plant a tree for every child that died at Blackhurst. I think it’s a beautiful idea.

  Then there were the pods. Seventy-two of them were occupied. All the occupants have been revived. Some of them were frozen quite recently. Others, like me, are adapting to life in a different time. They’re doing better than the children who were on the extraction ward though. Some of them will never recover properly. We were lucky Shem wasn’t there for too long.

  There’s the money too – a whole lot of it. Miss Li
lly did own the school building, but she’d put it, and the clinic, in my name the day I was born. She’d been very careful to keep legitimate earnings away from anything that could be considered the proceeds of crime, and she’d put it all in trust for me. It was like she was convinced that having her blood in my veins would make me some kind of mini version of her – she never doubted that I’d run things exactly as she wanted. She got that wrong.

  I tried to refuse the money at first. It was blood money – however she’d earned it, I thought it would always be tainted. Stacey made me see things differently. She said I should think of the money as compensation and use it to put things right, not just for myself, but for all the other survivors from the clinic.

  So I accepted the money and set up a foundation for the school and another for The Ark. That’s the clinic. We’ve turned the building into a true rehabilitation centre. It’s a home for any of Miss Lilly’s victims who need it. Miss Lilly absolutely hates it.

  Her case hasn’t come to court yet – they’re still going through evidence – but she’s likely to get a life sentence. They’ve put her in a high-security wing for her own safety. She’s been attacked by other prisoners more than once. Almost all the clinic staff have been charged as accessories to her crimes. From my team, only Vera and Edna didn’t seem to know the full extent of the horrors in the basement. I was devastated when I heard. How could Benjie and Mariya behave so normally when they knew what was happening two floors below their feet? Did they think that they weren’t responsible because they didn’t actually work on that horrible ward? How could they have done nothing to try and stop it?

  Stacey spent her life trying to find out what was happening there and she didn’t even know the half of it. She’s pretty much physically recovered from the car accident now, but she’s got something called post-traumatic stress disorder. She’s getting a lot of help and I think she’s going to be okay. It’s her birthday soon and I wanted to do something for her, to make up for all the ones I’ve missed. So we’re having a party, here at the school. Keisha, me and Susan are organizing it – Susan is in charge of the decorations. They’re going to be vegetable-themed. I know. Totally weird, but what does it matter? I’m just letting her get on with it, with a bit of mild interference from an exasperated Keisha.