“Ellie Belle...” Keller exaggerated the last syllable.
“Keller?!” I ran outside taking the stairs two at a time. “Kelly!” I yelled, jumping on him next.
“God you’re all grown up!” Keller spun me around in circles while I clung to him.
“Oh my God I’ve missed you guys so much.” I slapped his chest, wiping my eyes again.
“Surprise!” Toby called down from inside the house.
“Amazing surprise!” I jumped up and down clapping. “We’re having a party tonight. You’ll get to meet my...” I trailed off, blushing.
“Your what?” Keller asked sternly as he followed me into the house.
“Her gentleman caller? Man? Boyfriend? Her... Marine?” Darcy offered with a triumphant smile as I shot her a laser beam death glare.
“You have a boyfriend?” Toby stopped the handful of chips just short of his mouth.
“Yeah.” I nodded.
“Oh this is going to be fun.” Keller rubbed his hands together as Toby nodded in agreement.
“Be nice, I really like him!” I pouted. “Come help me get shit out of the garage.” I scowled at Darcy who was fanning herself as Keller walked by. “I’m going to kill you,” I mouthed at her.
I could hear Darcy laughing as I retreated back downstairs. “What all are we getting?” Keller was standing in front of the garage as Toby smoked by the stairs.
“Chairs, tables, fire pit, whatever looks fun?” We started pulling thing out and carting them across the yard to the sand.
“So a boyfriend, huh?” Keller was sounding as protective as ever.
“Yes Keller, a boyfriend. It’s a fairly new thing, a few months. He’s a really good guy.” I smiled faintly unfolding the legs of one of the tables.
“What’s his name?”
“Atlas Ryker.”
“And what does Atlas Ryker do?”
“He’s a Marine.” I looked up at him with an arched brow and a crooked grin.
“Hmm...”
“What?” I crossed my arms defensively.
“Nothing, just surprised that’s all. What’s he do?”
“I’ll let you two talk about that. Dad already checked him out.”
“That doesn’t surprise me.” Keller laughed.
“He even came and asked dad for permission. Poor thing, I was certain he was going to shit himself.” I laughed along with him.
“Where is Toby’s lazy ass?”
“Over here Sergeant Dick.” He waved to us carrying the fire pit, cigarette hanging delicately from his lips.
“That’s Staff Sergeant Dick, fuck you very much.” Keller grabbed his junk as I rolled my eyes making gagging noises.“Sorry Ellie I forgot I’m not around the guys.” Keller offered up his feeble apology with a smirk.
“Yeah, sure, let me remind you I’m a lady.” I waved him off. “I’m just excited that all my guys will be here together!” My phone started ringing again as the picture of Atlas and I flashed on the screen.
“Hey you.” I answered walking away from two sets of curious eyes.
“Hey baby, I miss you.” Atlas’ voice made me feel warm all over.
“Yeah? Well get your ass over here and see me.”
“I was going to ask when we should get there.” Atlas chuckled.
“Now, we’re setting up.”
“On my way.”
“Hey Atlas?”
“Yeah baby?”
“I miss you too. Be careful, please.” I hung up, shoving the phone back in my pocket. “Will you guys get the grill too? I’m going to change and help Darcy.”
“No problem.” Toby nodded as he and Keller sat on the sand putting the fire pit together.
“Thanks guys.” I started heading toward the house, walking backwards so I could watch them. I was still in shock that they were actually here. “Hey guys?”
“Yeah Ellie?” Keller looked up at me.
“I’m so glad you’re here. I’ve really missed you.”
“Us too, Ellie.” Toby winked at me and I turned around, heading into the house.
Darcy voice was carrying from the stairs as I ran up the rest of the way. “Oh yeah right! You’re being ridiculous.” I slipped into the downstairs bathroom changing into my new purple suit and putting just my shorts back on. I tugged on a sheer long sleeve bathing suit cover up, leaving the front unbuttoned.
“Fuck you so much.” Darcy was obviously taking that break up talk seriously.
The sound of Atlas’ bike stopped me from eavesdropping on her phone call. I pulled my hair up into a high ponytail and quickly walked through the house. I didn’t want to interrupt Darcy.
Toby and Keller were standing on the beach watching him like a hawk. Atlas took off his helmet, looking up at me with that smile that made my knees weak. “Wow, hey gorgeous, you look... Wow. Um, do you have more clothes? I’m not sure I want the guys to see you like that.”
“Hey yourself.” I laughed as I climbed down the stairs right into his waiting arms. He barely lifted me off my feet, kissing my lips softly. “I need to warn you..” My lips moved against his. “That.. Um... Crap you’re making it hard to think.” He sat me back down on the ground as my head became a little more clear. “Darcy is on a warpath and my brothers are here.” I blurted out all at once.
“Oh boy...” Atlas turned around to see both Toby and Keller standing behind him.
“Atlas these are my brothers, Tobias and Keller.” I rocked back and forth on my heels nervously. Atlas extended his hand toward Keller first who was staring him down.
“Keller Grant,” Keller shook his hand as I held my breath hoping like hell he wouldn’t do something stupid like punch him in the face.
“Atlas Ryker.” Atlas nodded, shaking Toby’s hand next. “Nice to meet you guys.”
“Yeah, likewise,” Keller draped his arm over Atlas’ shoulder, “Let’s go talk.” He nodded toward the beach.
“Keller Benjamin Grant you bring him back to me in one piece and still liking me or so help me God I will dig your heart out with a spoon.” I narrowed my eyes as Atlas burst into a fit of laughter.
“I’ll be fine, Ginger.” Atlas shook his head, kissing my cheek. “Like a stick of dynamite.”
“Isn’t she?” Keller smirked. “I’ll make sure he comes back, kid.” They turned away walking down toward the water.
“Ellie?” Darcy called from inside the house.
“Yeah, I’m comin’ babe.” I ran back into the house to find Darcy crying. I threw my arms around her as she laid her head on my shoulder. “Over isn’t it?”
“He broke up with me, calling me terrible things.” She said between sobs.
“Oh sweetie, we know it’s not true. He’s just an asshole. Besides you were thinking of breaking up with him anyway.” I rubbed her back soothingly.
“Most guys are assholes.” Adam’s voice came from the doorway. We both looked over at him as Darcy laughed. “In my opinion, whoever this loser is deserves to have his ass kicked for making such a beautiful girl cry.”
I let go of Darcy as she wiped her eyes. “Darcy, Adam Thornbriar, Adam, my best friend Darcy Thomas.”
“Pleasure to meet you.” Adam shook her hand.
“Yeah, you too.” She flushed for possibly the first time in her life. “I’m going to go get cleaned up and get a drink.”
“We’ll go get your stuff and I’ll burn his house down tomorrow.” I called after her, “To the fucking ground!”
“You’re a good friend. Not many would commit arson for someone else.” Adam laughed, hugging me briefly.
“He’s going to be lucky if that’s all I do.”
“Atlas said you were a firecracker.”
“Explains the red hair.”
“Redheads always have the worst tempers.”
I flipped him the bird.
“So your friend...” Adam paced back and forth looking around the house.
“Adam her boyfriend of four years just broke up with her!” I
admonished him.
“I know, I know! She’s just... It’s just that... I’ve never seen a girl look so pretty when she cries.” He let out a long breath, rubbing his hands over his face.
“Aww...” I smiled and started gathering up things to bring down to the beach. “Adam Thornbriar is a romantic!”
“Oh please, that doesn’t touch the way Atlas talks about you. Poor guy has it bad.”
“Does he now?”
“You really don’t see it do you?”
“That seems to be the question of the day...” I snorted thinking of mine and Darcy’s earlier conversation.
“He would lay his entire world at your feet, Ellie. All you would have to do is say the word.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of.” I mumbled, picking up grocery bags.
“Why are you afraid?”
“I’m afraid I don’t deserve it, him in general, anyone for that matter.” Adam’s eyebrows shot up a I walked quickly past him.
“Ellie.” He called after me. I bolted down the stairs as fast as I could. “Ellie! Goddamnit, Ellie!” Adam huffed in defeat and went back inside.
I wanted to cry. The day had started so well with my brothers being here. But it was quickly turning out to be rather overwhelming. I held my breath wanting nothing more than to squash the growing amount of anxiety causing my chest to constrict. The thought of someone loving me outside of my family was unfathomable.
Spencer’s words were ringing in my ears. “No one will ever love you now. You are nothing. No one special. Piece of shit. You don’t even deserve someone to love you. Why would they want to anyway? God look at you, so pathetic, laying there crying. You disgust me. No one is going to want you. You are unworthy of love, Penelope.”
I couldn’t take it anymore, his voice wouldn’t get out of my head. “Atlas will never be able to love me, I don’t deserve it. No matter how much I love him.” I threw the bags down on one of the tables and took off walking as fast as I could. In the opposite direction of the guys heading back from their little talk. Like a coward, I couldn’t face them.
“Ellie?” Atlas voice was behind me. I wanted to go to him but my stupid head told me to run. Pumping my legs faster I listened, running away from everyone. “Ellie, stop!” His voice was closer, closing in on me. “Come on, you can’t outrun me.”
“What, Atlas?! What do you want?” I spun around staring up at him. I narrowed my eyes, tightening my lips into a thin line.
“What’s wrong, baby? What the hell is going on? Did something happen? Did Adam say something to you?”
“No, he just helped me realize something.” I shook my head, backing up as he took another step toward me.
“Talk to me,” Atlas pleaded, a frantic look in his eyes. He looked beautiful standing there in the fading August sun.
“You need someone better than me.”
“What?” Atlas mouth hung open in shock. He was staring at me as if I had just spoke in tongues.
“You heard me, you deserve someone better than me.
“No, we are not having this conversation. Keller and Toby said you would do this, they warned me, and I’m not going to fight you on this. We’re not doing this, Ellie.” Atlas shook his head, standing his ground.
“Why don’t you get it? I’m just this screwed up girl who survives by keeping so busy she doesn’t have time to think. And the attention you give me? That almost makes me believe that I could have you. You need someone better, not someone like me.” I dropped my head, staring at the sand. This was so much harder looking at him.
“You’re being selfish, Ellie.” My head shot up, shocked. “You’re scared so you’re trying to run away. Literally, in this case.” He waved his hand between us. “Do you think I’m stupid? That I can’t judge what or who is good for me? I mean honestly, do you think I’m completely ignorant? I know I might sound it but I promise you I’m a hell of a lot smarter than you’re giving me credit for here.”
“No, I do not think you’re stupid. I just think you can do better than a girl who-- I can’t give you what you need. Not the way another person could.”
“God, would you just shut up, Ellie? You don’t get to decide what’s good for me!”
“I don’t deserve you.” The wall I had built around myself was starting to crack. I held my breath, looking up to the sky to try and blink back the threatening tears.
“I love you, Penelope Noelle Grant. You. No one else. I am in love the happy girl. The one who will dance anywhere. The one that drives me crazy. The one that calls me when she has a bad dream even if she gets my voicemail because she swears just the sound of my voice makes her feel better. The silly, flirty, tries to push me down then kisses me until I see stars, girl. The firecracker. The loyal, wonderful, brilliant, gorgeous woman you are.” Atlas closed the distance between us, crushing me to his chest. “And you’re running because you love me too.”
It hit me like a brick wall.
The things that Spencer had said, the ones I had been repeating to myself over and over again, they meant nothing. They weren’t real, they didn’t matter because they came from someone that didn’t matter. Here in front of me was this incredible man that mattered, and he was telling me that he loves me.
Me.
“I do,” I said softly after my breath started coming evenly again.
“Say it please. I want to hear you say it.” Atlas pulled back, his blue eyes burning into me. “I need to hear you say it, Ellie.”
“I love you,” I choked out,“I love you, Atlas.” I said again with more conviction.
Atlas laughed as he leaned in, capturing my mouth with his. Kissing me like it was the only thing in the world that actually mattered. His forehead pressed against mine, he held me close in the soft glow of the moon.
“I know you do,” Atlas whispered, “I knew before you did.”
❋❋❋
We were all gathered around the fire pit, myself curled up in Atlas’ lap. We were watching Darcy and Adam make flirty eyes with each other. “I think they like each other.” Atlas said in my ear.
“Yeah? I think so too.” I turned sideways burying my face in his neck. “But I love you.”
“I could never get tired of hearing that.” Atlas laughed, the vibrations radiating through his chest. “I love you, Ginger.” He kissed my forehead, sighing contently.
“Hey Ellie,” Keller called on his way back to the circle. He held my old pink acoustic guitar in one hand and a beer in the other.
“No way,” I shook my head adamantly.
“But you’re so good!” Darcy nodded enthusiastically.
Nope, not happening.”
“I’ve heard her sing, she really isn’t that great.” I punched Atlas on the shoulder, laughing. “She’s always off key.”
“If you don’t I’m going to have to.” Eddie stole the guitar serenading us with a terrible version of “La Bamba”.
“Please!”
“Oh God, put it down!”
“Kill it!”
“Shut him up!” The guys begged, covering their ears.
“For me?” Atlas whispered batting his big blue eyes at me.
I melted.
“Fine,” I conceded as Eddie handed me the guitar, “go get me a capo.” I nodded at Keller who took off running after it.
“I didn’t know you play.” Atlas ran his hands down my back as I strummed casually.
“She is so good.” Darcy gushed.
“She played all the time in high school. Coffee shops, school, she sat in the park on weekends and sang for change. She also plays piano like you wouldn’t believe.” Toby spoke from across the fire.
“Any requests?” I asked as Keller returned.
“Mumford & Sons! You always do them justice.” It was the first time I noticed Darcy and Adam holding hands.
“Fine but no laughing!” I pointed around the circle. “It’s been awhile.” I cleared my throat, looking at Atlas with a small smile. “Okay, this is “Reminder�
�� it’s one of my favorites.” I strummed, closing my eyes and began to pour my heart out through song. My voice husky, spilling out the words that reminded me of the conversation Atlas and I had earlier.
I sang the last line, slowly opening my eyes to see everyone staring blankly back at me.
“Ellie...” Toby was the first one to say anything.
“Damn Ellie.” Caleb, for the first time since I met him actually sounded serious.
“I told you guys!” Darcy rolled her eyes like they were the stupidest people in the world. “Sing something else.”
I leaned back into Atlas, as he spoke only for me to hear. “You’re amazing,” he laughed. “Why am I not surprised? You’ve been faking it!” He accused as I shrugged.
“Kelly!” I used my index finger, beckoning him over.
“Nope.” He shook his head defiantly.
“Please?” I pouted, “Please? For your little baby sister?”
“Ellie,” he groaned as I batted my eyes at him. “Fine” he agreed reluctantly pulling his chair over to us.
“Falling Slowly?”
“Yeah that’s fine.”
“First or second verse?”
“First, you’ll be stronger on the second.” Keller bobbed his head along with the guitar as I started to play. Soon his warm voice sailed through the wind. I joined in at the second verse and together we harmonized.
We all watched as Adam helped Darcy to her feet and they began to dance. It took me back to when I used to watch couples stop and dance in the park in Portland. Many times they would request a special song and have their own private moment in the middle of the city.
It was their small, innocent action that brought my whole world into focus.
I finally saw it.
The subtle way Adam was watching Darcy. Her head laying on his shoulder and everyone was staring but he only saw her. There could have been a million people around but right then he would have only ever seen her. It was as if she was the brightest star on the darkest of nights guiding him back home.
It was the way Atlas looked at me.
I sat the guitar in the sand and curled back up to Atlas. I knew this was the moment I would always go back to. That moment watching our closest friends dance on the beach, through the flicker of flames, under the summer moon. It made me realize just how truly in love I am with Atlas.
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