It was unconditional, irrevocable, terrifying, and absolutely perfect.
Chapter Seven
I started back to school the third week in August, with my Senior year, a blossoming relationship, and real life in sight. We had been working around each others schedules as much as possible. Atlas would come to the diner when he was off since I had started working a different shift. When I was off I was at his apartment. I had spent more than one night in the kitchen studying my life away just to be close to him.
Juggling school, work, and us was starting to become another job all on its own. This job however, came with one serious perk: Atlas.
But by the end of October I was exhausted. Atlas had come into the kitchen, handing me a cup of tea as he sat down at the table. “I’m going in the field for two weeks.”
“When do you leave?” I was trying to hide how bummed I actually was. I knew that it would come eventually, it always does. “Thank you for the tea.”
“Sunday,” he ran his hand over my arm as I highlighted another passage in my text book.
“Does that mean I get you Saturday night?” I gave him a mischievous smile.
“It most certainly does.”
“Good,” I leaned over the table kissing the corner of his mouth lightly. “Does your mom know you’re coming for Thanksgiving?”
“She knows but she doesn’t know when. I was hoping we could fly out Tuesday morning.” Atlas was playing with the Claddagh ring on my right hand as I made notes from my book.
“Wait, we?” I asked, surprised.
“I want you to come with me.”
“You do?”
“Of course I do. Come to Texas with me and meet my family. We’ll go in early and surprise them.” He grinned at me and I knew there was no way I could say no to that.
“Okay, I’ll go.”
“You will?”
“You just said you wanted me to!” I laughed.
“I thought it was going to take some convincing. Meeting my family and all... That’s a pretty big step.”
“Don’t you know by now I would do anything for you?” The corner of my mouth pulled up as I raised my eyes to meet his.
“No, I didn’t.” He said honestly.
I pushed my book to the side and climbed into his lap. Taking his face in my hands I stared straight into his eyes. “Atlas Ryker I would do absolutely anything to make you happy. I have molded my world to fit into yours just to be with you. I am so in love with you, you crazy, crazy boy.”
“Marry me.” Atlas said softly.
“What?” My mouth dropped open.
“Marry me, Ellie.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“You said anything. I want you to marry me.”
“Baby I would love to marry you but ask me again. In... I don’t know, maybe when you’re serious.” I laughed, kissing his forehead.
“I was serious but okay, May it is.”
“Alright, whatever you say. I have to study so go play Xbox or something to keep us both distracted.” I slid off his lap and back into my chair, taking a sip of tea. “Besides you have to ask my father first.”
“That’s true,” he kissed the top of my head as he passed. “Penelope Noelle Ryker does sound pretty good to me though.”
“Hm... Ellie Ryker,” I mused over my notes, “It sounds perfect to me.”
❋❋❋
I had bribed Darcy to go out with Adam so we could have the apartment Saturday night. Not that I didn’t adore the two of them but I wanted that time alone with my man. Darcy insisted she wasn’t ready to go out but after pleading and promising to go shopping with her for as long as she liked while Atlas was gone, she agreed.
That morning I picked up groceries and drove to his apartment with my overnight bag. Adam answered the door quickly taking the bags from me. “Hey Ellie, Atlas is still sleeping.”
“Thanks,” I followed him to the kitchen setting my bag on the table, “Go back to bed.” I pushed him toward his room.
“Yes mom,” Adam smirked as I started unpacking the groceries and putting things away.
The apartment was quiet, too quiet for me actually. I hurried down the hallway, slipping into Atlas’ room. He was curled up on his side under the covers, snoring softly. I climbed up on the bed next to him, kissing his forehead.
He stirred, smiling sleepily. “Hey baby,” he mumbled wrapping his arms around me.
“How did you know?”
“You always smell like gardenia’s, it’s your perfume. Your hair smells like mint.” His eyes fluttered open as he looked at me.
“Very observant, Sergeant Ryker.”
“My job,” he kissed me softly, “more sleep.”
“Yes baby, more sleep.” I laughed, kicking off my shoes, and pulled back the covers.
“Um.. Ellie?”
“Yes?”
“I.. um...”
“Spit it out, Ryker.”
I’m naked under here.”
“Oh!” I could feel the heat starting to rise to my cheeks as soon as the word “naked” left his mouth.
“I can put something on if it will make you more comfortable.”
“No, it’s totally fine.” I was lying through my teeth.
“Are you sure? You look a little flushed.”
“It’s just that... I’ve never...”
“Ellie, are you a virgin? I mean like, by your choice and all.” Atlas propped himself up on his elbow, staring down at me.
“Yeah, something like that.” I put both hands over my face, laughing into them.
“Oh my God... I’ve hit the lottery.” Atlas pumped one fist in the air.
“Atlas!” I slapped his chest. “You could fix that for me.”
His eyes shot over to me, burning and intense. “As much as I would love to lay you down and make love to you, I won’t. You deserve something...”
“Something?”
“Perfect, special, romantic.” Atlas leaned over me, pushing me into the bed. His hand caught my head before it ever hit the bed. “You deserve that.”
“As long as it’s with you it’ll be all those things and more.” I laced my hands behind his neck avoiding the temptation of running them all over his delicious body.
“You’re my angel, Ellie. I wished for you.” Atlas whispered as he pulled my hair back, pressing his lips to my neck.
“Baby I--”
“No Ellie, you are. I am a lucky man.” With one hand he began to unbutton my shirt, pausing between each one to give me time to stop him. My head was caught up in his every touch. The was his breath felt against my skin. He pushed open my shirt, staring down at my stomach. “I saw these scars and I thought a surgery. It’s been bothering me ever since I saw them. After the talk at the cafe, I no longer wanted to ask. But now, I need to know.” He placed feather light kisses along the six inch pale scar.
“It wasn’t a surgery.” I confirmed, causing him to inhale sharply.
“You have one here too.” He brushed his thumb over my side below my bra line.
“That one is a surgery scar.”
“What kind.”
“Well technically it’s where the chest tube went in before the surgery.”
“Christ,” Atlas hissed.
“If it’s going to piss you off I’m not going to talk about it. Besides I thought you wanted to go back to sleep.”
“Not if you’re going to open up then I’m going to keep you talking.” Atlas reached blindly over the side of the bed, grabbing his boxer briefs off the floor. “I don’t want to have this conversation naked.” He smirked.
“Ah, so it was to seduce me into talking!”
“Hm, something like that.” He grinned.
“That’s sneaky.”
“It worked,” Atlas pulled me over to him, running his hands over my exposed skin. “Talk to me, Ellie.”
“I moved from Portland not just for college. I was actually accepted to several colleges, even some in Oregon. My dad was
a main reason; this has nothing to do with that,” I put my hand on my stomach, “anyway, not directly, okay, sort of. I’m rambling. I told you when I met you, well I almost told you that I have three brothers, do you remember that?”
“Yeah, you corrected yourself, I remember.”
“Joaquin, he’s my other brother.”
“Where is he?” Atlas asked innocently, kissing my shoulder.
“He killed himself four years ago. He was supposed to be watching me. I was going through a rebellious streak. My mother had been cheating on my father and they were in the middle of their divorce. She would leave all the time and I would act out for attention. Joaquin was an addict; we all knew it and never did anything to help him. We just watched from the sidelines. Too caught up in our own selfish bullshit. I went out that night and something terrible happened.”
Atlas had pulled me on top of him and was crushing my body against his. For the first time I actually let myself go. I sobbed into his skin, bathing him in my grief. Deep, cathartic, therapeutic sobbing.
“It was my fault. I shouldn’t have gone out. I shouldn’t have acted out. Joaquin would still be here. My mother wouldn’t blame me. She wouldn’t hate me. She wanted me to leave. Told me she couldn’t stand the sight of me. But I needed her. I needed her so goddamn bad and she didn’t care.”
“Oh baby, no, it’s not your fault. Shh.. You’re okay, I’ve got you now.” Atlas let me cry until I felt like there was nothing left. Until the years of pain and self loathing seemed to ease.
When I finally calmed down, I lifted my head to look at him. “Don’t ever blame yourself for that, ever. You are eaten alive by guilt. I understand you just a little better now. Why you said you weren’t good enough. God, I fucking hate her, I hate your ex, I hate how they’ve hurt you.”
I couldn’t stop myself, my emotions were all over the place. I started to laugh, really laugh, holding my sides, tears streaming down my face laughing. “What the hell are you laughing at?”
“This was probably the most fucked up conversation to have this early in the morning nearly naked.”
“It’s definitely one of the more interesting ones.” Atlas laughed, rubbing my back.
“This was not how I wanted to start today.” I pressed my face into his chest, yawning.
“Have you been to sleep yet?”
“Honestly? No. I got off work at five, went for a run, shower, grocery store, and then came here.”
“I told you to get some sleep before you came over. What time is it?” Atlas searched around the room for a clock.
“Just after eight.”
“Get a few hours of sleep. We can still be together even if you’re sleeping.” He kissed the corner of my mouth, lingering. “You taste like cherry lipgloss and tears, it’s heartbreaking.”
“I’m sorry for-”
“Don’t be. I told you if you ever wanted to talk I’m here. I’m just glad you finally did. Even if it was void of details.”
“And you had to trick me into it?”
“There’s that too.”
“One day, Atlas.” I rolled off of him, curling up against his side.
“I know,” he kissed me one last time before I drifted off into a for once, peaceful sleep.
❋❋❋
The sun was streaming in around the edges of the dark blue curtains as I woke. I felt around but the bed was empty where Atlas had been before. Turning over I buried my head in his pillows, breathing deep.
“I see you finally woke up.” Atlas voice caused me to jump.
“Yeah sorry, I didn’t mean to sleep so long.”
“Don’t be, you needed it.” He sat on the edge of the bed with a towel around his waist. Beads of water trickled down from his hair to his chest.
“You’re seriously pretty.” I smiled up at him as I rolled over on my back.
“Pretty, huh? That’s not very masculine.”
“Hm... I know but either way, you’re beautiful.” I ran my finger from his shoulder to his collar bone, tracing down the tight defined line of his stomach.
“If you say so.” His voice was low and husky.
“Come here,” I tugged on his arm, pulling him back onto the bed, “It’s my turn.”
“Your turn?”
“Yes,” I climbed on top of him, moving my mouth from his jaw, to his neck, shoulder, sucking the beads of water from his skin.
“I like this game.” Atlas groaned, laying his head back into his pillow. “Does this mean I have to talk now?”
“Mmhm,” I didn’t move my lips from his skin as they made a trail down the center of his chest.
“You’re making it hard to concentrate.” Atlas ran his hands over his face. “My dad left my mom for his secretary. He’s a criminal defense attorney.” My lips brushed over his nipple causing him to inhale sharply. I let my tongue trace over the erect bud as he groaned. “Yeah I really won’t be talking if you don’t stop.”
“I thought part of your job was concentration.”
“Is part of yours driving me crazy?”
“Yes, paragraph three, line four in the girlfriend clause.”
“Smart ass,” Atlas grinned, grabbing my arms he hauled me up eye level to him. “What do you want us to do today?”
“Um...” Contemplating, I tapped my chin. “I want to go for a ride.”
“A ride?”
“Yes, a ride.”
“Like on my bike?”
“No on a horse.” I bit the inside of my jaw to keep from smiling.
“I swear to everything Ellie Grant I’m going to kiss the ever loving shit out of you just to keep your smart mouth shut today.”
“Because that would be such a bad thing to do all day...”
“On the bike?”
“Yes, Atlas, on the bike.”
“Hell no.”
“Yes! Come on, it’ll be fun!” I batted my eyelashes at him, smiling sweetly.
“Your daddy would murder me.”
“Aw, are you still scared of him? We’ve been together for months now, he’s not the big bad wolf. Please?” My bottom lip poked out. “Pretty please?”
“Dammit Ellie! How can I say no when you look at me like that?” Atlas sighed. “I have an extra helmet. I bought it for you about a month after we got together. Just in case this ever happened.” He laughed, running his rough hands down my back.
“Yay!” I clapped as he caught my wrist examining the camo bracelet wrapped around it.
“For me?” He asked with a small smile.
“To have you with me even when you’re not.” I turned it over where his last name was embroidered on.
“Ellie... it’s fantastic.”
“Good,” I giggled, sliding off of him. “Get dressed, I want to go live dangerously!”
“You already are.” He reached over with one smooth motion smacking my backside.
“So why a motorcycle?” I asked as I buttoned up my cherry print long sleeved shirt.
“I always wanted one. I had to beg, plead, take classes, everything just to get permission. Marines and motorcycles aren’t supposed to mix. I am extremely careful, overly cautious really. I love to ride but that doesn’t mean I want die doing it. Here,” he tossed me a black leather jacket.
“What about you?” I slipped my arms through trying to find my hands. Atlas had at least a foot and eighty pounds on me. I turned my head as he dropped his towel.
“I have another one. You wore boots, I dare say you planned this, Miss. Grant.”
My name caught my attention as I turned back around. I found myself watching him get dressed. Studying his calves, the way the muscles constricted, the back of his thighs, and his perfectly round ass.
“Ellie?” Atlas looked over his shoulder as I shook my head.
“Planned, yeah, no. Hoped, yes, hoped.” I stumbled over the words.
“Were you checking me out?” Atlas laughed as I flushed. “You were! Well, well, well, did you like anything you saw?” He sauntered
over to me shirtless and cocky.
“As a matter of fact I did.”
“Care to elaborate?”
“I would but such words should not come out of a ladies mouth. It might make you blush.”
“Me? You’re joking, right?” He challenged.
“Oh?” I pushed him up against the wall. “Alright then Ryker, I should start by saying you have a perfectly delectable ass. I would love nothing more than to touch, kiss, lick, and bite every square inch of your deliciously sculpted body.” I pressed my lips against his. “And working my way around until I end up here.” I ran my fingers over the crotch of his boxer briefs. “Only to stop when you’re begging me to.”
Before I could say another word Atlas moved in, picking me up and had me in his position. My back pressed into the wall, I hooked my legs around his waist as he captured my mouth. Slow, deliberate kisses, his tongue melting with my own. He growled against my mouth, his fingers digging into my denim clad inner thighs.
A soft moan escaped past my lips as he pressed himself into me. “God Ellie...” Atlas whispered, nipping at my earlobe. “I want you so bad it hurts.” His erection was digging into me through my jeans. “The way you touch me, kiss me, and oh baby, the sweet little noises you make. They make it so hard to keep my hands to myself.” He nipped my neck, tugging at the sensitive skin causing me to arch into him.
“Atlas I’m leav--whoa!” Adam swung the door open startling us. “I-- Uh... Well it’s about damn time.” Adam shut the door laughing as Atlas mumbled obscenities under his breath.
“And we were getting so far.” I leaned my head into Atlas’ chest.
“We have all the time in the world baby.” He laughed softly. “Besides, I promised you something special.” He sat me on the bed, leaving me aching for his touch. “I need to go kill Adam now.”
“Not if I beat you to it.” I muttered as Atlas finished dressing having to adjust himself more than once.
“Lets go for that ride. I think we both need to cool off.” Atlas shoved his wallet in his back pocket and cell phone in the front. With my hand in his we walked through the apartment. Atlas smacked Adam on the back of the head as we passed.
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