I sat the flowers on the kitchen table as my phone began to ring. “Hello?” I answered without looking.
“Do you like the flowers?”
“They’re beautiful, thank you. Happy Valentine’s Day.”
“Happy Valentine’s Day, beautiful. I’m glad they were actually there, I didn’t want to ruin your surprise.”
“How are you?” It had been two weeks since I heard his voice last. I sat on the edge of the table, holding his tags in my hand.
“This place is better, it’s not home but it’s better.”
“Any word of leave?”
“Not yet, I’m trying for May so I can be there for your graduation.” I squealed, clapping.
“Are you serious?!”
“I’ll try my best.” He laughed at the other end.
“I miss you so much.”
“I miss you too.”
“Did you ever find my letter?” I asked.
“No, you must have hidden it really well.”
“It’s in the bag that you had by the door in our room. Main compartment then shoved down into the bottom.”
“Well no wonder I had to have a map to find it. I’m a simple man, Ellie.” Atlas chuckled. “I’ll look for it as soon as I get off the phone with you.”
“I hope you find it.”
“When did you write it?”
“The night before you left when you were out talking to Felix.”
“Have you spoken to him?” He asked.
“I have, briefly. I talked to him a couple of days ago, Ares yesterday and Ma called earlier to see if I had heard from you today. I told her no but I will call her back and let her know that she has an incredible son who sends me daisies from across the world.” I smiled looking at the bright colored flowers.
“It’s the least I could do. Tell her that I love her and I’ll email her soon.”
“You better email me soon too, sir.”
“Yes ma’am. Want to try and Skype this weekend?”
“Absolutely!” I had been asking him to try again since our last attempt had failed to connect. Hopefully since he was in a different area now we would be able to get it to work.
“I look forward to it. I better run, baby.”
“Me too, I hope I get to see your handsome face. I miss you. Be careful, please. I love you, always.”
“I love you, Ellie, always.”
The phone went silent in my hand as I let the tears stream down my face. I pressed Andy’s name in my phone, sniffling as she answered on the second ring. “Ellie, is everything alright?”
“I just got off the phone with him.” My voice cracked giving me away.
“Oh sweetie,” she cooed. “How is he?”
“He’s better, they’re in a better place. I came home to flowers. The man knows no bound. Flowers for Valentine’s Day all the way from Afghanistan.” We laughed together as I wiped my eyes.
“I’m so glad he was able to call you.”
“Me too. Just hearing his voice makes the days go by faster and the week so much easier.”
“Hopefully I’ll get an email soon.”
“I told him he better email you.”
“Good girl. Well I have to run we have a meeting to get to but thank you for calling me and letting me know.”
“Of course, sorry to keep you, I just couldn’t wait to tell you.”
“No problem at all, I’m glad you called. It’s a relief. I love you, sweetie.”
“Love you too, Ma.”
I hung up the phone this time and sighed contently. Hearing him today would hold me over until I could see him again. I pocketed my phone and picked up my backpack heading to the bedroom to study.
❋❋❋
To: Ellie Grant
From: Atlas Ryker
March 4, 2014
Hey gorgeous. You’ll be happy to know that I have emailed my mother and brother. I also spoke to my father for a few minutes while he was in court. He actually told the judge he would have to hold on a minute. I laughed, It was nice to hear him take a minute for me when I’m over here.
How are you doing? I know this isn’t easy for you either. It’s March though so if everything goes right I should see you in a couple of months. Unless you flunk out at the last minute and decide not to graduate after all. How are you sleeping? I’m sorry they didn’t have the puppy you wanted anymore. Keep looking we’ll find something. I laughed out loud at the story of you and Sara sneaking out to go see Social Distortion. I can’t believe she had never even heard of them. You had terrible taste in friends.
Can you send me some books? It doesn’t matter what kind just something that will make the time pass when we’re down. Maybe a journal or something too? Um... Candy would be great. Hard candy. Jolly Ranchers! Wow, my inner ten year old just got real excited. I know you’ll think of other stuff, you always do. I have a few more emails to send out so I better run. I love you, always.
-Atlas
To: Atlas Ryker
From: Ellie Grant
March 7, 2014
Hey handsome. It’s the last day of school before spring break. Thank goodness. I’m planning a spontaneous trip to get away for a few days but it’s nothing crazy. You’ll actually get a something out of it. That sounds weird. Whatever, my head is jumbled today. Between tests, studying, Shep’s bullshit, and missing you I’ve been a mess lately. I don’t know how you do what you do. I get overwhelmed way too easy for that. It’s impressive. I know we have a date set for tomorrow night but I wanted to go ahead and email you today since I’ll be in the air tomorrow morning. Just incase you know my plane decides to crash or something. (I’m kidding!!)
Obviously I’m having an off day. I probably should have just held off until tomorrow but I wanted to send you something regardless. I just really miss you, Atlas. We’re closer than we were but it still seems like forever away. I’ll be okay tomorrow, tomorrow will be better. But today, I’m just going to miss you.
Be careful, please. I love you, always.
~Ellie
❋❋❋
March had brought spring break and it was a break I desperately needed. I was exhausted between school, work, phone calls at all hours of the night, and trying to make enough time to see my dad, Darcy, and study.
But most of all I still missed Atlas.
I hadn’t told him my plan for break when I emailed him last. As I exited off the plane at DFW it seems like I should have said something now.
Jacks had met me at the airport with a smile and a huge hug. I had spent hours talking to Katie on the phone while she was on bed rest. They had a miscarriage scare that turned out to be preeclampsia so she wasn’t allowed to do much. It was her idea that I come down on my break.
“How’s our boy doing?” Jacks asked as we headed toward Granbury.
“He’s doing okay, he’s being careful, and taking care of himself.” I smiled as I thought about him.
“I’m glad to hear it. How are you holding up?”
“It’s hard. I keep it together as best I can for him when we talk but hearing his voice or seeing his face just makes it hurt. It’s like cutting open a wound, it starting to heal, and then reopening it. It’s worth it though. How’s Katie?”
“Miserable,” he laughed, “she can’t wait to see you though.”
“I can’t wait to see her either. She’s become a really great friend in the last few months. Have you heard from...?”
“Micah? No, he left town a little while after the whole thing with Atlas went down. No one has seen him since. Probably hooked up with another girl on drugs and is strung out somewhere.”
“Oh.” I nodded.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“What Micah said, was it true?”
“That I was was almost raped?” Jacks didn’t say anything just nodded his head. “Yes, my ex boyfriend tried to rape me and when he couldn’t, he stabbed me.” It was getting easier to talk about the more I admitted
it. It didn’t change it or the nightmares but being a victim to Spencer all my life had never been the plan.
“Damn, I’m sorry, Ellie.” Jacks voice snapped me from my thoughts.
“Being with Atlas has helped. He’s shown me that not everyone is out to hurt me. It’s a whole new life with him.”
“Ready for him to be home?”
“You have no idea. Imagine Katie being gone halfway across the world for months at a time, in danger, and only getting to talk to her every other week if you’re lucky.”
“I couldn’t deal with that.” He admitted somberly.
“It’s not easy but Atlas is worth it”
“You’re good for him. We got in a lot of trouble growing up.” Jacks laughed. “He was a wild one there for a while after Miss Andy and his dad got divorced. Straightened his shit out when he realized Ares needed him.”
“What did he do?”
“Ah hell, what didn’t we do. We stole a car or two, broke into a house, raced cars, drank beer, fought every person that looked at us the wrong way.” Jacks smiled fondly at the memories. “He really shaped up though, the Marines did him well.”
“I think it was getting away from you.” I teased.
“That probably had something to do with it.” He grinned.
We talked all the way to Andy’s house, Jacks telling me stories about their younger wilder years. I promised to go see Katie tomorrow and thanked him repeatedly for coming to get me. I even managed to hide thirty dollars in the console after he refused to take it from me for gas money.
Knocking on the door at Andy’s I waited, bouncing on my heels. Both her SUV and Atlas’ truck were in the driveway. Andy’s head came into view first behind the glass block framing of the door. “Ellie?” She asked surprised. “Oh my goodness, Ellie!” She opened the door, hugging me tightly. “What on Earth are you doing here?”
“I’m on spring break and needed to get away from North Carolina for a few days. Is this okay? I know I should have asked but it was kind of a last minute idea.” I laughed as she pulled me into the house.
“No I am so happy you’re here! Ares! Ellie is here!” Ares came jogging around the corner where he engulfed me in a bear hug.
“It’s good to see ya’, sis.” He grinned, letting me go.
“Likewise, bro.”
“Does Atlas know you’re here?” Andy ran her hand over my hair as she smiled at me.
“No but I do have a Skype date with him tonight so you’ll get to see him.”
“Are you serious?!” She covered her mouth.
“Yeah we try and Skype a couple of times a month.” Ares took my bag, bringing it to Atlas’ room as Andy and I went into the living room.
“Your father knows you’re here, right?”
“Yes ma’am,” I laughed, “I told him yesterday.”
“Who picked you up?”
“Jacks.”
“Of course he would be in on it I would have been happy to pick you up if I would have known!” She shook her head, beaming at me. “I’m so happy you’re here. It’s like having a little piece of him here as well.”
“I’m just glad you didn’t tell me to leave when I showed up.” I laughed, peeling off my sandals and tucking my feet under me on the couch.
“I would never run you off. Atlas told me that you’re not in contact with your mother so I feel the need to fill that void with you sometimes.” She professed.
“I need that, I really do.” I reached over squeezing her hand as Ares came back in the room. He sat down on the opposite end of the couch, sprawling out as he turned on Sports Center.
“Would you like anything to drink? Please make yourself at home, whatever you want don’t feel afraid to go get.”
“Thanks,” I pushed Ares feet off of my arm as he smirked. It was something Atlas did to me too. “Gross, Atlas does the same thing.” I rubbed my arm, cringing.
“How is Atlas?” Andy asked as I checked the time on my phone.
“He’s doing a little better now that they’re in a different location. We didn’t get to talk much when he was at the first place. It had really bad reception but he tried to call me at least once a week now and emails me every few days.” I stared down at my camouflage Ryker bracelet, twirling it around my wrist. “I miss him something terrible though.”
“Me too, sweetie, me too.” Andy sighed.
We sat together watching TV and making small talk for a few hours until it was time for me to talk to Atlas. I brought my laptop into the living room, setting it up on the coffee table in the middle as I signed in. Atlas was already on waiting for me. I clicked accept as soon as the call came through.
“Hey there handsome.” I smiled as his face came onto the screen.
“Hey gorgeous. I miss you.”
“I miss you too.” I pressed my hand to the screen against his.
“Where are you?” He was trying to look around the room.
“I have some people that want to say hi to you.” I smiled as Andy and Ares came to sit beside me.
“Mom? Ares? Are you in Texas?” Atlas laughed, waving to them.
“Hey baby!” Andy covered her mouth as she ran her fingertips over his image.
“Hey Ma, how are you?”
“I’m good, I’m so, so good now. How are you?”
“I’m doing okay.” He looked around the tent he was in. “Adam is sick and Caleb is being a bitch lately but we’re all doing okay.”
“I’m glad to hear it.”
“Hey Ares, how are you, man?” Atlas was smiling widely at the three of us.
“Oh I can’t complain.”
“How’s school?”
“Shit but I’ll pass.” Andy reached over smacking Ares on the back of the head.
“Watch your mouth.” They both said at the same time causing all of us to laugh.
“We miss you, Atlas, be careful over there.” Andy was trying her best not to cry.
“I know Ma, I miss you guys too. I’ll be home soon.”
“We’re going to go so you can talk to Ellie but try and call your mother once and awhile, alright?”
“Yes ma’am. I love you both.”
“We love you too.” Andy said as she blew him a kiss and left the room to cry. Ares followed her closely, rubbing her back.
“So you went to Texas? That’s what the email was about?” Atlas laughed leaning back in his chair.
“I did. I wanted to get away for a few days. Plus Katie talked me into it, it took her a few weeks to convince me.”
“I should have figured out Katie had something to do with it. How’s she doing?”
“Miserable according to Jacks.”
“You look so good, Ellie, just beautiful. I’m so happy to see your face.”
“You don’t look so bad yourself, Sergeant.” I winked at him as he grinned.
“I can’t wait to get home to you.”
“I know, baby. It seems like it’s been forever since I last touched you.” I put my hand back to the screen running it over his face.
“I’m pretty sure I’ll never let you go once I get there.” He said softly.
“I’m hoping not.” I answered honestly. “I was thinking about trying to get a puppy again.” Changing the subject before I got too sappy.
“Still want a puppy, huh?”
“Yeah, what kind should I get? What kind would you like? You never told me.”
“Something that would protect you.”
“Of course you would say that.” I threw my hands up as he laughed.
“Anything but a chihuahua or some other yappy little shit.”
“Oh you don’t want to me to carry around a yorkie in my purse?” I smirked.
“Not hardly.”
“What about a bigger dog? A pit bull or something?”
“Yeah, that sounds like a winner.” He nodded.
“I think I’ll go see if I can adopt one when I get back.”
“Good, it can keep you company until I g
et home.”
“And protect me.”
“Yes, and protect you.”
“I miss you.” I said softly as I stared at his beautiful, tired, dirt covered face.
“I miss you too, Ellie, so damn much.” I raised my hand back to the screen again as he did, letting our fingers line up from miles away. “You’re all I think about.”
“I know, baby, same here. You should be getting a new box soon.” I smiled to fight the tears again.
“Really? What’s this one themed?”
“Spring break, of course.”
“So you’re going to come out topless?”
“Um, that’s a negative, this isn’t Cancun.” I laughed, rolling my eyes.
“A man can dream.”
“We’ll discuss that when you get back.”
“Don’t tease a desperate man.”
“Not teasing, just something to look forward to.”
“And I do, I definitely do.” He ran his hand over his face. “I have to go, I need to get busy.”
“I know, tell the guys I love them and I’ll see them soon.”
“I will. Thank you for letting me see Ma and Ares.”
“You’re very welcome, baby. Be careful, please.”
“I always am.”
“I love you, Atlas, always.” I blew him a kiss that he pretended to catch.
“I love you, Ellie, always.”
I wiped away the tears as the screen went black and his name signed off. One more day down, one more day closer to seeing him again.
I shutdown my laptop and put it back in Atlas’ room, heading down the hall for Ares’ room. Andy met me in the hallway instead.
“Did you get to talk to him?”
“Yes ma’am, he was in really good spirits. I think seeing you guys made a big difference.”
“Can you set that up on my computer too?”
“Of course, I’ll do it while I’m here.”
“Thank you,” she hugged me tightly not letting go, “Thank you for letting me see him. Thank you for coming. Thank you for being part of his life.” She sobbed into my shoulder.
“Shhh, it’s okay.” I rubbed her back. “I miss him too. He’ll be home soon.” I consoled her. “I am glad to be here, I needed to be here. I needed a mom too.” I confided in her as we stood in the hallway, holding each other.
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