The Girl In White

by Shannon Reber

  She shook her head at me. “You adorable little nerd, do as you’re told. I have two younger sisters. I know how to boss reluctant girls around.” She cocked her hands on her hips and stared.

  I had the urge to argue, to keep from being turned into her Barbie-doll. It seemed pointless. They were the only friends I had made so far. Maybe I could find a computer fanatic to talk to that evening. Granted, what self-respecting techno-geek would be at a party on a Friday night?

  Then again, I hadn’t always been such a loner. When Emma was around, she’d had no interest at all in watching me hack into places. She made me into a social person like she was, or more than I was at that moment anyway.

  Maybe if I acted more like she had wanted me to, it would be easier to communicate with her. It was worth a shot. And anyway, I’d have my phone. I wouldn’t be entirely cut off from the world that was most comfortable to me.

  I did as Serena had commanded and shaved my legs. I even managed not to cut myself, which was a rarity.

  When I returned to my room, what I found laid out on my bed was an open shouldered shirt, dark jeans, and a pair of ankle boots which made my feet hurt just to look at them. It was a beautiful outfit, not one piece of it mine. A flush worked its way up my neck at what my mom would say at the idea of me wearing something so pretty. She probably wouldn’t be able to speak for laughing.

  I swallowed the lump that rose in my throat at the thought of how much Emma would have liked Imogen and Serena. They would have been great friends, I was positive. Because of that, it was far easier to handle the idea of ignoring what my mom had always said about me and going out with friends for the fun of it.

  After they had finished with my hair and makeup, I felt like a girl Emma would have been proud of. And that was all I needed. It was what Emma would have done, so she felt closer to me than she had since she died.

  We got into Serena’s little SUV and took off, three girls out for an evening of fun. It was such a nice feeling. It felt like Emma was there as well, right where she would have been if she was alive.

  I shook my head to dislodge that thought. I couldn’t live in the past. If Emma was haunting me, I had to figure out why. When I’d seen her, it was like she was asking for my help. Why, though?

  “I saw a video somebody posted of you today,” Serena said, her eyes fixed on me in the rearview mirror as we stopped at a red light. “Looked like you were having a close encounter or something.”

  And every last bit of excitement for the evening departed. I had no idea what to say. They would never understand and would think I was crazy. Sane people did not believe they were haunted by the ghosts of friends who committed suicide almost two years before.

  I wanted to have something pithy to say, something that would change the subject. The trouble was, nothing would come to me. My mind was blank, other than the image of Emma as she’d reached toward me in the bookstore.

  Imogen looked at me, her expression of compassion making it clear as day she knew something. I didn’t know what it could be. Our friendship was far easier. Imogen was more like me than Serena was. We were both outsiders. She drew attention to herself with crazy hair colors and funky clothes. There was a shy girl under the surface, I was certain.

  “You do know what happens to girls who go to parties on Friday night, right?” she asked and held up a finger. “They come back to the house, sit on the couch with a tub of ice cream, and talk to the girls about the cute guys they’ve seen.” She jabbed a black fingernail into Serena’s arm. “Since our resident hacker will be among us, she can find out the pertinent details about the guys we encounter.”

  Serena let out a loud laugh and clapped her hands. “Sweetie, if you need Madison to get a guy’s info, you don’t deserve to get the guy,” she said and grinned at me in the mirror. “But if you want to hack my ex’s accounts and make him look like an idiot, that’s cool with me.”

  Relief filled me. The ice inside me faded. It looked like those two were true friends and I was beyond grateful to find that out.

  I shot her a wide smile. “I can do something that simple on my phone,” I said and pulled it from my pocket. “Do you want him to donate all his money to a charitable organization of your choice or give him a few dozen speeding tickets on his record?”

  Serena turned her head to look at me so fast, the car swerved dangerously close to another. After she had corrected and sent a cheery wave to the guy who was blasting his horn at us, she turned the mirror to face me full on. “You can actually hack a person’s bank account AND police files?”

  I shrugged and stuck my phone in my pocket. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Serena,” I said with a smile while examining my nails. “I’m wondering if I should have painted my nails. I mean, you guys told me to shave my legs when I’m wearing jeans. You should have told me to do a manicure.”

  Imogen giggled, her fluorescent hair flashing as Serena pulled up in front of one of the houses right outside campus. “I watched our Madison do her hacking thing once. Seriously freaked me out how easy it was. If our girl here ever decides to use her powers for evil, we’re screwed,” she said and moved to get out of the car. She looked over at Serena before she exited and rolled her eyes. “Oh chill, Serena. Madison’s a genius, not a super-villain.”

  I got out as well, my heart starting to pound at the sight of all the people who were crowded into the house. Why had I agreed to come along? I wanted to go home or maybe go out into the woods at Emma’s house and . . . no. It wasn’t Emma’s house anymore. It was her family’s. I had to remember that.

  Imogen hooked her arm through mine and gave it a squeeze. “You look fabulous, Madison. Let’s go find us some guys who appreciate our uniqueness and let Serena have all the jocks,” she said with a wicked little grin.

  Serena hooked her arm through my other so I was hemmed in as she grinned at me. “The three of us have all the bases covered. I get the jocks, Imogen gets the musicians, and you get the genius brooding souls, just like you.” She fluffed my hair a little, then began to strut her way up to the house.

  Imogen grinned. “If I tried to walk like that in these heels, I’d break a leg. How about we walk a little less sexy and a little more careful.”

  I clasped my hands together in a prayerful way. “You sure you don’t want to get in the car and go home. I could buy you the world’s biggest block of chocolate and we could watch movies,” I said, my eyes flicking around as we walked closer and closer to the house. I did not want to be in that crowd. Something about it felt . . . dangerous. My skin crawled at even the idea of going in.

  Imogen gave my arm a little squeeze, then released it. “Come on. It’ll be great. Chocolate was a good tactic to use, though.” She walked carefully up the steps and into the house before I could say anything.

  I wanted to turn around and walk away, though that felt cowardly. It had been a long time since I’d done anything that could qualify as fun. Maybe I should nut-up and try to be what my friends thought of as normal.

  I was a week from my eighteenth birthday, yet hadn’t acted like a teenager in a long time. I took in a fortifying breath and counted to three. I had my phone in my pocket. I could do this.

  I walked up the steps and into the house. The wave of scent and sound that hit me was like a fist to the gut. Alcohol was a very strong smell, as was sweat, and various forms of cologne and perfume. The music was far less loud than I had expected it to be, though the clamor of voices was even louder.

  I almost turned and walked away, until an arm slid its way around my shoulders. “Maddie Meyer. How you doing?” a slurred voice asked as I was pulled under a hard, sweaty arm.

  I glanced over and my heart sank. Dylan. He had been Emma’s boyfriend, a guy I had known very well at one point in my life.

  His blond hair was cut in a shaggy way, made to look like he’d just crawled out of bed, his Grecian nose prominent in a way that was captivating. His grungy t-shirt and torn jeans capped off his bad boy ima
ge to a tee. It was an image he’d honed over the years, one that made him even more appealing.

  He was only a couple of inches taller than me, something that had made me feel tall as a little kid. He had been the one to teach me you didn’t have to be tall to make yourself a force to be reckoned with.

  I twisted free of him easily and shook my head. “I go by Maddison these days, Dylan,” I said, worried by the sight of him. His skin was pallid, with a green hue to it like he was about to be sick.

  Dylan suppressed a belch and gave me a long once-over. “Never thought you could be so hot. Next to Emma, you were nothing but with her gone . . . nah . . . everybody’s seen the video of you and your crazy thing this afternoon. No guy—”

  I saw Ian step over to us and a flutter of nervousness rose in my belly. That annoyed me. Yes, he was Emma’s big brother. Yes, every girl in that house was staring at him. But he was Ian, the guy who’d taught me to swim by throwing me in the pool.

  With his eyes fixed on me, he wrapped his hand around Dylan’s arm and yanked him back roughly. “Dylan, I think you better sit down before I do something you’ll regret,” he said sharply and shoved him so he landed on one of the couches.

  Ian was several inches taller than Dylan which meant the top of my head only came to his chin. I had the urge to sucker punch him for thinking he had to come and save me from Dylan. It was like he saw me as incapable of taking care of myself, something that annoyed me to no end.

  My heart fluttered again as Dylan said something very uncomplimentary. I was aware how dull I was by comparison to Emma. Having it thrown in my face like that was more painful than I wanted to admit.

  Dylan burped loudly, toasting Ian with that bottle as he took another long drink. “Going knight in shining armor for the girl who hacked your high school records to change your name to Scooby-Doo?” he slurred out, his eyes starting to cross.

  Ian didn’t even deign to look at him. He turned to me, his head tipped back to look down his nose at me, his arms folded. “What are you doing here, Maddie? You are seventeen years old,” he said in an accusatory tone.

  The pain of Dylan’s words faded away with irritation at Ian. “And you’re nineteen. Do you have a point, or were you just proving how fantastic your memory for ages is?” I snapped in the same kind of tone I would have used on him when he’d been annoying me at the age of ten.

  His lips twitched a little bit but he took a small step closer to me, his blue t-shirt bringing out the bold shade of his eyes. “My memory tells me you turn eighteen next week and also that you aren’t in school here. I’ll ask you again, what are you doing here?”

  I rolled my eyes, irritation taking precedence over every other emotion that roiled around in my overloaded mind. “Get off my butt, Ian. You have no business dictating anything to me, or—”

  Fluorescent green flashed in the corner of my eye and all of a sudden, Imogen appeared next to me, Serena on my other side. Like before, they hemmed me in. It wasn’t in a way to keep me from running off. That time, they seemed to be there in a showing of support.

  Serena sent a sweet smile at Ian. “No, Madison doesn’t go here but I do. I invited her, as well as Imogen. That’s not a problem for you, is it?” she asked despite the fact it wasn’t a question at all.

  Ian shot her a confused look like he hadn’t expected anyone to cut in on our little conversation. Because there was no right answer to her ‘question’ he looked at Imogen. “You don’t go here either, do you?”

  She shook her head. “Nope. I go to Carnegie Mellon,” she said as she handed me a red plastic cup. “I brought you a pop so you can hydrate before we drag you onto the dance floor. I KNOW my favorite genius has a party-girl hidden under there,” she said and tapped her own red cup to mine, pretending Ian wasn’t there at all.

  Serena looked from me to Ian, her brows furrowed in a confused way. “So . . . you two know each other, I take it?”

  Dylan lurched up from the couch and stumbled over, giving a drunken laugh. “Know each other? Ian’s little sister was Maddie’s best friend. Emma was this gorgeous thing . . . so hot, but she killed herself a couple years ago.” He turned his eyes down my body and gave a low whistle. “If I’d known you could be so hot I would have picked you instead of—”

  Ian’s hand wrapped around the neck of Dylan’s shirt and he shoved him so hard, Dylan landed sprawled on the couch he’d vacated a minute before. I’d seen Ian angry on many occasions over the years, usually at me. The look on his face right then frightened me. He’d always been the good boy, good to a fault. Right then, he looked dangerous.

  The thing was, that look suited him. I’d thought he didn’t have the same striking qualities as Emma. I’d been wrong. He was bewitching.

  I could feel the cold fingers of my temper wrapping its hands around me as well. Ian and I both had to calm down before one of us lost it.

  I wasn’t sure if it was to calm me or him as I laid my hand on Ian’s arm. He looked at me and gave a slow nod like he meant to tell me everything would be okay. It wouldn’t be, though I did appreciate his attempt.

  Dylan tried to get to his feet. He stumbled, then clapped his hand over his mouth.

  Ian sneered, his hands balled into fists. It seemed the smell of vomit was not one he wanted to deal with so he quickly grabbed Dylan’s arm and hauled him toward the door.

  When they were gone, Serena turned to face me with her arms folded. “Madison, you’ve been holding out on us. Ian Gregory and Dylan Funar both know you and you never told us?” she asked, apparently having ignored everything other than that fact.

  I didn’t respond. Images floated through my mind. Emma’s body dangling from the rafters in her garage. Her face purple from the strangulation of the noose.

  I had gotten my license a few months before and had decided to drive out for a visit. I had thought it was for a fun weekend away. There had been nothing fun for a long time after that, not one single thing.

  Imogen hooked her arm through mine and turned toward the door. “See you at home, Serena,” she said in a quiet tone and walked with me out of that house.

  I could hear the sound of Dylan expelling the contents of his stomach into the bushes, smell the acidic scent of it. I didn’t care. I had wanted to get away. I would never get away from what my best friend had done to herself. It would live with me for the rest of my life.

  “You want a ride?”

  I glanced over, startled to see Ian standing next to me. His nostrils were flared and his chin was high. That was a pose I knew all too well. It was the one he’d always worn when he was about to make me pay for some wrongdoing.

  I looked away from him. He looked so much like Emma. Their eyes were identical. I could not handle looking into them.

  Imogen gave him a small smile and shrugged. “If you don’t mind, that would be great. I know Madison can hack a car’s security system but I’d prefer not to get her arrested for car theft,” she said in a slightly shrill tone, one that showed her anger as much as Ian’s flared nostrils did.

  Ian snorted. “And here I thought I was saving you cab fare. I didn’t realize your other option was car theft.” He motioned out toward the street, his lips quirked in that tiny excuse for a smile. “Not getting arrested is a good idea,” he said before his lips curved in a full on grin. “When Maddie was six, she beat me so bad at a video game I decided she’d cheated. Turned out, what she’d done was research the game and found out the best moves to make to win. At the age of six.”

  Imogen laughed. “This is why we love her. I lost my phone a few weeks ago and without any problem at all, she turned on the tracker and found that I’d dropped it in Serena’s room. That place looks like it’s been bombed most of the time, so there was no way I’d ever have found it without my favorite genius.” She released my arm and turned me to face her. “I’m totally into the idea of chocolate and movies now. Too bad you didn’t suggest it before we went in, genius-girl.” Her smile was wicked, yet there was something
like pity written in her eyes.

  I kept my eyes fixed on the cars around us, too afraid of crying to meet her eyes. “My mom says I’ll be homeless in months, because I’m not smart enough to even hold down a job to support myself,” I blurted out to distract myself from all that Dylan had said.

  Imogen gaped at me. “Your mom said that?” she asked, her voice again at a far higher pitch.

  Ian let out a loud breath. “Her mom is a—”

  “Don’t,” I cut in, unwilling to hear any of it.

  Ian raised his hands, his lips quirked even higher. “So Maddie, when’s the last time you sucker-punched a guy who tried to teach you how to change a tire?”

  That image came to my mind, the memory of his scathing tone as he’d told me I was too weak to change a tire on my own. I’d known he’d been goading me but had hauled off anyway. It had been utterly satisfying to see the shocked look on his face at the power of my strike.

  I rolled my eyes at Ian, pleased to recall something with no teeth. “You deserved it,” I accused, my voice a little weak.

  He nodded. “Yes, I did. And you deserved it when I told Mom about you guys’ plans for that evening,” he said and made a motion for us to walk along with him. “And next time you decide to come to a party, make sure your eighteenth birthday has passed, please.”

  I didn’t respond. My eyes were fixed on the figure who had appeared in front of me.

  Emma’s translucent figure looked different than she had earlier that day. There was no anguish on her face. Instead, it was distorted by the kind of fury which made my blood run cold. She was dressed all in white, everything about her a mix of beauty and horror.

  Her mouth worked silently like it had done earlier, yet no sound came from her. That fury changed to a demented rage.

  I stood still, my eyes fixed on her with terror in my heart. It occurred to me after a few seconds that Ian stood directly next to me. His arm was rested against mine, small tremors passing through it.