Inside Out

by Lauren Dane

The volume level dropped back down to only partially insane once they reached the back bar. One arm to either side of her, he bracketed her with his body as she moved forward. It shielded her from the crush of the crowd and kept her against him.

  She rattled off drinks to the bartender, who nodded, looked down at her tits and grinned as he went to work.

  “Pablo Neruda,” he said softly in her ear, partly to answer her earlier question and partly to snag her attention again.

  She froze a moment, not knowing what he meant, until she remembered the poetry conversation.

  Leaning her head back, she caught his gaze. “Really? I admit I don’t know all of his stuff. I had a world lit course a million years ago.”

  “I’ll have to remedy that. Now it’s your turn.”

  “I told you, I’m not that interesting. But I do enjoy poetry too. What little I know if it.”

  “Really?” He tossed money on the counter before she could pay. She frowned and, without thinking, he brushed his thumb over her bottom lip. “You’re far more beautiful without the frown. It’s my round anyway.”

  Her expression was a cross between consternation, anger and appreciation. There was a story there, he could tell. Question was, should he pursue it now, or wait?

  “I like to pay my own way.”

  “Next round you can.”

  She lost some of the tension in her face and nodded. “Thank you.”

  He grabbed the beers, and she got Erin’s water. Again he sort of shielded her with his body as he muscled through the crowd. It was . . . delicious to feel protected by a man as big as Cope was. He was so much, just took up so much space. He seemed more serious with her of late, and it drove her mad. Sometimes she allowed herself the opportunity to obsess over whether he was actually showing romantic interest in her, especially after the things Elise and Erin had said earlier. Mainly she just told herself he was flirting like he did with everyone else. Nothing more.

  When they got back, he followed her into the booth, his body pressed against hers until she felt faint with his nearness. God, what a fabulous night this was!

  “Which poets do you like?”

  “Mary Oliver. ‘Wild Geese’ is a poem that breaks my heart each time I read it. It’s so beautiful, achingly so. Marge Piercy, love her fiction too. Edith Wharton.” She hadn’t had much time to explore things like poetry, but Mick would e-mail her poems, song lyrics, he’d write her letters with photographs and dried flowers tucked between the pages. She smiled, thinking about how her brother had always known when she needed those little check-ins from him the most.

  Cope slid a fingertip down the tender skin of the inside of her forearm, snagging her attention. “I like that smile. What are you thinking about?”

  “My brother Mick. He’s the one who introduced me to Mary Oliver. He’s one of those people you love getting letters from.”

  Cope’s smile warmed her in a way not at all connected to sex. It was understanding, open and interested in what she was saying.

  In order to be heard over the music and dull roar of people shouting to speak to each other, he had to lean in close, his breath against her neck and ear. “Oh, like with ticket stubs and funny newspaper articles tucked inside? Sometimes just a photograph of a beach or a tree?”

  “Exactly! He can go months without a word, and then one of those. Usually just when I need it most. Who’s your letter sender?”

  “My dad’s brother, my uncle Ted. My mom always jokes that he’s an old bum, but he sails all over the world. Or he did. He worked on crews on every boat imaginable. He’d send the family these letters. Once every six months or so a packet of them would arrive filled with sand or shells, these small-town news stories, drawings and sketches. It was like Christmas when that packet arrived.”

  They talked, shared and laughed for some time. Long enough that Ella forgot anyone else was around but for the moments they’d been jostled by their friends getting in and out of the booth. He’d stayed so close, reaching out to touch her often, leaning in to speak quietly in her ear as he explained something.

  Cripes, she was going to combust at this rate.

  On one of those rare moments when she took the time to look around at their friends gathered, she caught sight of Erin. Ella wanted to stay and talk with him more, but Erin was looking tired. She tried to hide it, but Ella saw through it. Ben and Todd would soon enough too.

  “Erin looks tired. Back me up when I suggest we go back to Brody and Elise’s,” she murmured, and Cope squeezed her hand quickly in answer.

  “Why don’t we go back to Brody and Elise’s? Getting loud and warm in here. We forgot the cupcakes over there anyway. They’re in my car, and it would be a sin to let them go to waste.” Her car was back at the house because they’d taken a limo to dinner and then to the club.

  Elise turned to look at Erin and then back to Ella, nodding. She stood, and Brody with her. They were so beautiful together, Ella thought, right, in synch. “You know my opinion on cupcakes.”

  “I want pizza.” Brody joined with the others of his tribe—the tribe of giant men—and they eased the way out of the club onto the sidewalk outside. She breathed deep, letting the relative silence and the freedom from the crush of people slide through her, calming her.

  “Wait.” Cope touched her to stay her movement. “Now I want to look at your ink. I wanted to do so at the house, but you got rushed off.” She bit back a moan when he circled her, tracing the blossom on her shoulder. “It’s so beautiful against your skin. I can’t wait to see the whole thing.”

  She blushed, gripping her coat tight against her belly. Taking the shiver of pleasure as a sign she was cold, he chuckled and helped her shrug into her coat. Something like that from another man might have bothered her. It might have felt like manhandling. With Cope, from Cope, it was nurturing without feeling coercive or paternalistic.

  “Limo is going to be pretty full,” Cope said casually as they walked toward the lot next door. “I drove. You want to catch a ride back with me? I haven’t had a drink in hours, so I’m fine to drive.”

  Had they been talking for hours? It seemed like ten minutes. And did she want a ride from him? Really? Was that a trick question?

  “Ella, get out of the cold!” Elise called to her, waving at the limo. “The boys will meet us back there.”

  Damn.

  The men moved to Cope’s SUV and began to pile in, so she smiled at him. “Thanks anyway, I guess they have it handled.”

  He walked her to the limo door and helped her in. “I’ll see you back at the house. Save me a cupcake.”

  She waved as he shut the door, and the limo pulled away.

  “Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Elise said. “I thought after I spoke that you might want to be alone with him in the car. You two seemed to really be, um, wow, with each other tonight.”

  “He was just being polite.”

  “He’s never that polite to me,” Elise said, one of her eyebrows sliding up.

  “That’s different. He’d never flirt like that with a friend’s girlfriend.” She was insulted on his behalf. He’d never do anything like that!

  “Exactly! You’re a single woman in his eyes, and I can only say it’s about time.” Erin leaned back with a smirk. “And don’t think I don’t know you called it an early night because of me.”

  “Are you kidding me? I’m too old for all that noise. I have presents in my trunk too.”

  Erin’s face lit, making Ella laugh. “Presents! Wheee!”

  “You’re a present whore.” Elise grinned.

  “Totally.”

  “We should have taken over Adrian’s house tonight,” Elise said as they got out once they arrived home. “Had a slumber party.”

  “He would have loved that.” Erin snickered. “He has a movie theater and soda on tap. I would live in his house if I could. I also know Brody would be a grumpy butthead if he had to be separated from you tonight.” Erin looked up and caught sight of Todd as he waited on the po
rch. “I sleep better at home anyway,” she said, her voice fading at the end as her man caught her attention fully.

  They were all going to have hot sex that night, and Ella was not. She frowned a moment until she caught sight of Cope, but he was on his phone, looking serious.

  When he hung up and turned to face her, she knew he was going to tell her something she didn’t want to hear.

  He caught up to her in the front hall where she’d removed her coat and pulled her boots off. In her bare feet, he nearly towered over her. She wondered idly if she’d have been nervous if it were anyone but him.

  “Hi, there.” She smiled up at him, still slightly tipsy.

  He grabbed one of her hands and squeezed. “Hey. I’m sorry, I can’t stay. We’ll talk more tomorrow, okay? We’re having a problem with one of our systems. I’m on call tonight, so I have to go.”

  “Sorry to hear that.” She shouldn’t be disappointed, for heaven’s sake. He had a job to do. He owned his own business, so of course he had to do stuff like this. At least he wasn’t a cop anymore. She knew she’d have worried way more in that case. As a friend, of course.

  “Listen, how about we carpool tomorrow? It can be our little nod to being green and stuff. Also, we live close enough to each other so it makes sense.” He cocked his head, and she probably would have agreed to just about anything he’d proposed; the way he looked at her was irresistible.

  “I have to be at Adrian’s a few hours early to help out.”

  He grinned, and everything in her body did the wave.

  “What a coincidence, me too. Works out even better.” That damned grin again, and she was totally lost.

  “All right. If you’re sure you don’t mind. I’ll be out front at two, okay?”

  He frowned and still was beautiful.

  “How about no? What do you think I am? I’ll park and come get you. You’re not going to wait in the cold for me at the curb. Go on in and have a good time. I’ll see you tomorrow. I may even be back here later on, depending on how complicated this call is.”

  She watched him hug Elise and Brody, kiss Erin’s cheek and wave good-bye at the room full of people before he moved back to where she stood.

  “See you tomorrow, Ella.”

  It was the way he looked at her, she decided, that was different. He looked into her face, into her eyes and held her gaze.

  “Yeah, see you then.” She waved like a doofus and didn’t even pretend she wasn’t looking at his ass as he walked down the front walk to his car.

  “Whoo,” she muttered before turning back and going into the main room.

  Cope slumped through his front door some hours later, exhausted and annoyed that he’d missed his chance to get closer to Ella. The elderly lady he’d spent the last several hours with had reminded him of his grandmother. So he’d stayed with her, had some tea and talked her through the system for the dozenth time until she felt comfortable enough for him to leave. It would have felt insulting to everyone if he’d just reset the system and left, knowing Mrs. Morgan was spooked and lonely.

  So now here he was, alone in his half-empty condo, still aching for Ella.

  He didn’t bother turning on the lights. He knew the way, around the coffee table and across the rug. And the moon was setting, casting a silvery light on the walls.

  She’d been vivacious earlier that evening. Aglow with joy and sensuality. He smiled as he leaned into the shower to turn the faucet on. He stripped off, tossing the clothes in the direction of the laundry basket, another task he needed to finish up soon or he’d be wearing parachute pants and a long-sleeved tie-dyed shirt to work.

  The heat of the water against his muscles felt good, rippling through him, relaxing. He breathed in deep, remembering the way she’d felt, her body backed up to his as they’d danced.

  He’d kissed her. Impulsively. But he couldn’t find it anywhere within himself to be sorry. They’d been together, dancing. There’d been a sort of magic about it. Just the two of them in a sea of undulating bodies.

  And when she turned, her mouth curved into a beautiful smile, so totally open and engaged with him there’d been nothing else to do but kiss her. Just a quick slide of his mouth against hers. He’d swallowed the gust of her surprised sound.

  He’d done it on impulse, yes, but he’d done it in public, marking her in some sense, wanting everyone to know she was his.

  What he’d really wanted, as she’d looked up at him back at Brody’s place, was to push her back against the wall, his hands sliding down her sides, his mouth on hers, swallowing her needy little sighs.

  He soaped up, his eyes closed, head tipped back as the water rushed over his body. Kissing her wouldn’t be enough. He’d invite her back to his place. Not the condo, but his house.

  Her skin would glow in firelight, he decided. He’d build a fire to keep her warm. A woman like Ella needed some TLC, some cosseting and adoration.

  That first time, he’d start at her toes and work his way up. He knew she spent a great deal of time on her feet. He could scent the warm almond oil he’d use, massaging her heels and instep.

  The feel of her, after wanting it for so long, would be intoxicating. As intoxicating as the permission to slide his hands up her calves and thighs, kissing in their wake. He knew she was sensitive about her scarring, but he didn’t see a single part of her as anything but beautiful.

  He’d take a long, closeup look at the tattoo on her back as he left a trail of kisses up her ribs and then across her belly, avoiding her pussy and breasts for the moment, rolling her over, moving up her spine to her neck.

  Slick with soap, Cope fisted his cock, imagining her taste when he made his way back down the sweet belly and to her pussy. He grew impossibly hard just thinking about it, thinking about how she’d feel against his mouth.

  He fucked his fist over and over as he imagined licking her until she came, imagined how her kiss would taste as he moved up her body, notching his cock against her, slowly pushing into her body.

  He’d have to pause to push orgasm back. She’d be hot and tight, and just being in her would have pushed him to the brink.

  Tugging on his nipple ring, he picked up the speed, the friction pushing him close to the edge. He imagined fucking her senseless. Slow and deep until he’d roll her, bringing her astride him.

  She’d rise above him, her hair playing peek-a-boo with her face, riding him all while his hands roved over her body.

  His fingertips would pause at her clit, fingering her until she exploded around his cock. Her eyes would widen and blur, would drift nearly closed as he came deep within her body.

  He came hard, leaning against the shower enclosure when his knees went to rubber.

  And still sleep didn’t come for some time after he’d cleaned up and gotten into bed. His attention was taken up with Ella Tipton, and he decided he liked that a great deal.

  4

  “All I’m saying is, be careful with her.”

  “Brody, dude, really? You think I’m going to use her and dump her in the middle of nowhere when I’m done?” Cope rolled his eyes as he locked his front door. “It’s not even like I’m going to ride while you’re gone, which I remind you is just a few days anyway. I have my own bike for that if I actually got a few hours free and a clear day. Pussy.”

  Brody laughed. “Fine, you’ll take good care of my bike while we’re at the coast. Sheesh, I’m just being responsible.”

  “Yeah, you’re the very picture of responsible. Why are you bugging me anyway? Don’t you have, like say, an engagement party to attend?” Cope checked to be sure the champagne he picked up earlier that day was still safely in place in the back of his truck so nothing rolled around and got broken.

  “Everyone is gone. Adrian came over a few minutes ago to pick Elise up. The house is so quiet without Rennie here.” Brody chuckled. “Funny how used to her constant singing and talking I’ve become. It’s like having Erin living here. Come over and hang for a bit. Todd is ferrying Erin aro
und, so Ben is going to stop by here on his way over to Adrian’s and before I run to pick up Rennie and Elise’s parents.”

  “I’m on my way to Adrian’s too. I have the champagne. You’re the one who had to have some special-order type champagne. Plus, I’m picking Ella up and giving her a ride. Believe me when I tell you, she’s way nicer to smell than you are. And she has breasts. Automatic win.”

  “Ella, huh? Yeah, I saw the beginnings of this brewing a while ago. You be careful with her too.”

  Cope frowned. “What, you think I’m going to use her and dump her in the middle of the wilderness too?”

  “Shut the fuck up. You know I’m not insulting you.”

  “I beg to differ. I gotta go. I’ll see you in a few hours.” He hung up and put the phone in his pocket before backing out of the driveway and heading to Ella’s. It burned through him, the anger that he’d be judged like that. And the unease that he’d had the other day when he’d first thought about how his past might come up in a negative way.

  His pocket buzzed, most likely Brody calling back. He’d probably surprised his friend, but there was only so much a man should have to take. Sure, he flirted; sure, he had lots of women; and sure, he didn’t take most of his romantic relationships seriously. But he never lied to anyone; he never treated women with disrespect or unkindness. Most important, Ella was special. She wasn’t like any other woman, and he should be trusted to know that.

  It stung that anyone who should know better would think otherwise.

  Not that he should be surprised; his own family often did that. He was the handsome one, the rogue. No one expected him to do well in school. That was Ben’s area. Those labels had stuck, his father still trying to high-five him at the idea he was pulling pussy every ten minutes.

  He was more than that, damn it. Ella saw it, responded to him in a totally different way than other women did. That got to him.

  His funk disappeared when he pulled up outside Ella’s building. In fact, he was invigorated just knowing she’d be with him in a few short minutes.

  She didn’t have her full name on the outside buzzer. A point in her favor. Just her last name. Smiling, he hit the button, and within moments she answered.