After She Said Yes

by Kaya Gravitter

  --

  Aurora only was able to drink one small bottle of a nutritional beverage a day for another two weeks. Each shake equaled about three hundred calories. The muscle on her body went soft since her stomach had no fat left because her stomach was eating it. Her backbone showed through the back of her shirt when she would wear tight clothes. Tessa saw that Aurora was on the brink of dying from her starving herself, and she was already skinny.

  “You look terribly ill, Aurora. I am going to take you to the hospital.”

  “You can’t,” Aurora said. “I have to work tomorrow.”

  “I think your boss will understand.”

  “No. He won’t,” Aurora said. “He never cares about these things or cares about his employees, even though I run his magazine.”

  “Okay then,” Tessa said. “If he needs you that bad, then he will not fire you for missing one or two days.”

  “Fine, you can take me.” Tessa went to Aurora’s room and helped her pack an overnight bag. “I am worried I am going to die.” Aurora broke down in tears.

  “You were beginning to scare me with not eating,” Tessa said. She and Aurora were on the way to the hospital. “Well, I mean not being able to eat.”

  “I have just been tortured for weeks by the thought of how I put up with all of what he did. I am madder at myself than anyone else. I was such an idiot. Why did I ever marry him or put myself in this situation? Why did I say yes to him in that stupid airport?”

  “Aurora, you will be fine. I promise,” Tessa said. “Besides, you have me again, and I am not going anywhere.”

  “That is true,” Aurora said. “You are someone who is not feeding me, per se, but feeding my soul.”

  “What is that?”

  “Well, I know I have to be stronger to get back at him. Gannon keeps trying to contact me, but I ignore his calls, voicemails, texts, and Facebook messages.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me this?”

  “I don’t know. I just enjoy torturing him for my own benefit,” Aurora said. “I want him to know I am ignoring him because out of everything in the world, Gannon hates nothing more than being ignored or not being in control.”

  “Does it actually make you feel better?” Tessa asked.

  “I want to feel better about this, but I can’t. I feel nothing, Tessa.”

  Chapter 6

  Aurora was in the hospital for a week. She got on some new medication and saw a counselor while she was there, and they put her in contact with a domestic abuse center that helped people who went through what Aurora did. The center was Domestic Abuse Intervention Services, a non-profit organization in Madison, known as DAIS.

  DAIS was important to Aurora because she started to meet with a support group from the organization, which was one of the many services they offered.

  --

  A few days after getting out of the hospital, while Aurora was engulfed in her work, a mutual friend of Aurora and Gannon’s reached out to Aurora. He was tall and slim with green eyes and sun-kissed skin. Melih, pronounced Mel-lee, would come over for house parties at Aurora and Gannon’s townhouse on occasion, but would never drink. He was from Istanbul, a highly populated city in Turkey. Though some people from Turkey did not practice Islam, Melih did. He liked the spirituality that religion made him feel and he thought alcohol would get in the way of that. Many people respected him for it. Aurora always did. She respected it more after the doctor she was seeing, after she left the hospital, told her to stop drinking with her anxiety medication.

  Melih called Aurora before lunch.

  “Hey, Melih.” Hmm... I wonder why he’s calling.

  “Hello, Aurora,” Melih said. “How are you?” When he talked, it sounded mellifluous, as if honey were dripping from his lips. Whenever he would say a vowel, it sounded similar to a French melody in your ear. His words were soft, but with a strong undertone. Aurora thought he had a lovely accent when he spoke.

  “I am fine,” Aurora said. “How are you?”

  “I am good,” Melih said. “I’m on my lunch break now.” He was a successful petroleum engineer.

  “Oh, nice. Me too.” She said as she stared at her small bottle of nutritional protein she had been sipping on since the morning.

  “Dat is good. I am sorry for vhat Gannon did, but I have to say, I'm not surprised he did it.”

  “That doesn't make me feel better.”

  “It really upset me the way I saw Gannon treat you at your house that night you vere going to play guitar for us,” Melih said. “I am sure you remember.”

  “Unfortunately, yes, I do.” Aurora sighed.

  What Melih said reminded Aurora of that night. She had tried to get everyone to snap their fingers to the same beat, but it was a struggle for everyone to get the beat down.

  “Aurora, you’re horrible. Just stop,” Gannon said bluntly. Everyone stared at Gannon. The room became quiet.

  “But I just want everyone to –” Aurora started, her voice barely a whisper.

  Gannon cut her off, “Aurora, don’t make me repeat myself. Just stop.”

  Aurora inhaled a big gulp. A tear fell down Aurora’s face and she felt the hair rise on her arm.

  Everyone urged her to keep going, but she was already too embarrassed.

  She swallowed her pain and tears like she always did from Gannon.

  Melih continued the phone conversation, “Vell, before that, he was so focused on the girls arriving, as vell.” Aurora rolled her eyes

  Melih continued, “He kept telling me to keep calling the girls because he was eager for them to arrive.” Aurora recalled that one of the girls was Shazzy.

  “Well,” Aurora said. “That makes sense.”

  “How is dat?”

  “Well, my mom always says, ‘love is blind, but the neighbors aren’t,’” Aurora said. “I finally know what she means.”

  “I guess so.”

  “Yeah.”

  “I have to tell you some-ting,” Melih said. “I vanted to tell you for a vhile.”

  "What's that, Melih?"

  Aurora's heart started to beat fast. She thought Gannon had done something else. She felt a knot in her stomach.

  Tiffany knocked on Aurora’s office door. “Ms. Tousey, you have a work lunch to get to.”

  “Vhat?” Melih said.

  “Oh, I am sorry!” Aurora said. “I have to go. I am late for a meeting. Talk later?”

  “Okay, dhen,” Melih said.

  --

  She expected that Melih would tell her something horrible. Though, Aurora thought it was hard to top all of the things Gannon had already done. She assumed Gannon had been cheating on her for a while, and Melih would break the news to her. Aurora wasn’t sure why she cared so much. Do I enjoy this pain?I don’t understand.

  Aurora wanted to forget about Gannon, but she knew she would have to go through with the divorce eventually. She knew she couldn’t go back to Gannon. The divorce wouldn’t be too hard on legal terms because they got a prenuptial agreement before the wedding. Gannon was from old southern money and Aurora was from a working-class family. Though Aurora didn’t want his money, she signed it to prove to him and his family that she loved him for him.

  Chapter 7

  Aurora started to move on with her life and forget about Gannon. She was still staying with Tessa. Aurora would spend most nights reading by herself or watching romantic comedies on Netflix with Tessa. She had seen every single one, even the one-star movies. She was trying to distract herself as best as she could. She wanted to message her friend Melih to see what he wanted to tell her, but she didn’t want to pry or annoy him. She also realized that if it was any information about Gannon cheating, it would only make things worse and all of her progress would be purposeless.

  Aurora had not been out in weeks since she found Gannon with Shazzy, until one afternoon when Tessa sent a text to Aurora while Aurora was at her desk editing an article for her magazine. She kept staring at her protein shake on her desk and fo
rcing herself to drink it. I am so sick of the taste of this, she thought as she swallowed down the lukewarm butter pecan-flavored drink. She heard her phone ding.

  "Hey, you want to go out tonight?" Tessa said.

  "No, not really…"

  Aurora thought about how she had been sulking for months and wanted to dress up and feel pretty again. What do I have to lose?

  Aurora took another sip of her protein shake.

  Aurora hesitated, "You know what, yeah, let's go out, but I want to remind you that I cannot drink alcohol because the doctor said it does not mix well with my anxiety medicine."

  The day went on, and Aurora kept thinking about how ugly she was. She wasn’t confident at all. Gannon had made her feel like she was so ugly and fat. She thought since she saw herself that way, the rest of the world did too.

  Aurora went to the bathroom later that day after her lunch break. The tiles on the wall were black, but the lighting was very bright. While was washing her hands in the sink, she looked at her face closely in the mirror. She then pulled back her cheeks. Wow. These bright lights in here hide no flaws. She let out a large sigh.

  She stared at the bags under her eyes. She got depressed about how thin she was. Why did I let a man do this to me? She then unbuttoned her suit coat and could see her ribs through her shirt. She started to cry. I do not even know who I am looking at anymore. Who am I? What have I become? She thought she was seeing a skeleton in the mirror. She immediately regretted telling Tessa she wanted to go out with her that night. She first grabbed some tissues to dry her tears.

  Aurora called Tessa while she was still in the bathroom, looking at her reflection in the mirror.

  “Tessa.”

  “Yes, Aurora?”

  “I don’t think tonight is good for me,” Aurora said.

  “No way!” Tessa said. “You said you were free tonight! You told me yesterday."

  Crap.

  “Uh.” Aurora said. “I forgot I have a business meeting tonight.” She looked at the coffee stain on her shirt in the mirror.

  “Dude, no you don’t,” Tessa said. “Let’s go out. Please. You need this. I am sick of seeing you so unhappy.”

  “Fine,” Aurora said. “I am just…”

  “Just what?” Tessa said.

  “Sad.”

  “Come on, Aurora.”

  Aurora looked at herself again and lifted up her shirt and saw that one of the old bruises Gannon left was finally gone.

  “You know what,” Aurora said. “I just don’t feel beautiful today.” She tried to put her hair behind her ears.

  “You are gorgeous!”

  “You are just saying that because I am your best friend. So your opinion is biased.”

  “It may be biased, but I am not wrong,” Tessa said. “How about this? I do your makeup and your hair tonight and we can go to that Korean place tonight!”

  “Okay. Fine,” Aurora said. “You win.” This will be the first time I eat an actual meal in God knows how long...

  “No, we both win. I promise you will have fun tonight.”

  “Okay then. I have to get back to work.”

  “Okay!” Tessa said. “I will see you after work.”

  --

  Aurora got home from work and saw Tessa on the couch. Above the couch, there was a collage of Aurora and Tessa on the wall. Aurora was cheesy, so she loved to get cheesy gifts like that for people. Tessa owned a small two-bedroom townhouse in the outer suburbs of Madison. The kitchen was at the entrance. Also by the entrance was the kitchen table, which Tessa and Aurora used as a makeshift shelf to place their things. It was just far more convenient than getting an actual shelf to hold their keys and purses. Tessa loved to sit on the couch in the small living room after work and watch Gilmore Girls while sipping on a cup of coffee. Tessa was always so relaxed but peppy at the same time, and she didn’t even smoke weed. However, Tessa was also very blunt.

  Tessa said in her peppy voice as she saw Aurora come through the front door, “Heyyyy. Excited for tonight?”

  “Ecstatic.”

  “Really?” Tessa asked.

  “No. Not one bit,” Aurora said as she took off her jacket. “You should know my sarcasm by now.”

  Aurora set down her things on the table and sat on the couch. “I don’t know what to wear tonight.”

  “This is exciting!” Tessa said.

  “Really?” Aurora said. “Well, of course it is for you! You love choosing outfits for people to wear.”

  People dressing was a hobby of Tessa’s. It could have been a profession for her because she was so good at it, but she said she would rather be a dentist because she “loves teeth.” She had a nice bright white smile, too. Aurora didn’t know how Tessa’s teeth never stained from all the coffee she drank.

  “Okay,” Tessa said. “Just don’t get used to it.”

  “Do you have any black shirts?” Tessa said.

  “Maybe like one. I always wear blue,” Aurora said. “You know that.”

  “Okay, you can borrow one of my shirts. You should always have at least one black shirt. I’ll even do your hair, but you have to do your own makeup.”

  “Uh… But I haven’t worn makeup in months.” Aurora used to love doing her makeup before Gannon made her stop. She thought it always expressed who she was without her having to say a word. “You know what. It will be fun to do my own makeup. Though I am sure if I do winged eyeliner it’ll look more like more like squiggly lines a child drew.” They both laughed.

  “That is what I like to hear. You are at least happy to do your own makeup,” Tessa said. “Now let us go pick out one of your outfits.”

  “Okay, mom,” Aurora said, and then Tessa rolled her eyes at her.

  Tessa did a blowout to her hair and Aurora’s. Aurora was worried she looked like she was some model you’d find from an old 80’s magazine. They both had on jeans and black three-quarter-sleeve shirts. They both looked hot. Aurora had put on gold eyeshadow and winged eyeliner. Nonetheless, Aurora was feeling pretty and feeling herself that night.

  Aurora and Tessa decided to have dinner first before going out. They drove into the city and parked next to Aurora’s office. They walked to their favorite Korean restaurant. They tried to walk everywhere as much as possible since it was a cheap form of exercise and burning off the huge amount of food they would eat. Aurora ordered the bibimbap, which was her favorite dish. She hadn’t eaten it in so long, so it tasted amazing to her. Tessa would get her usual, the chicken katsu.

  After dinner, they went to their favorite club in Madison called The Old Fashion. The décor reminded you of a speakeasy from the 1920s. There were leather booths and mahogany-colored curtains draped over the windows. The dance floor was made out of wood. They knew the drinks were always good and there were good-looking guys, which was the welcomed distraction Aurora needed. Aurora didn’t really drink because it didn’t mix well with her recent PTSD medicine she started taking, but seeing some hot men was just what the doctor ordered. The club was the hotspot for staffers from the state capital and lawyers from around town. This was the perfect place for successful and good-looking men. So Aurora and Tessa knew that there was no doubt Gannon would not be there.

  Tessa and Aurora sat at the bar. Aurora’s first drink was a virgin mojito. Tessa’s drink was an old fashioned because that was the specialty at the bar. Frank Sinatra's song “The Way You Look Tonight” was playing in the background. It was swing music night.

  Aurora and Tessa sat and talked with each other for a while about life while they scoped out the attractive men, though their talking seemed more like screaming because it was so loud inside. Aurora kept stirring her drink with a short black straw.

  “Do you think that guy over there is cute?” Tessa asked. Aurora looked up.

  “Really? To be honest?” Aurora said. “I am not interested in looking.”

  “Just look over there!” Tessa said. “It will not hurt you.”

  “Fine,” Aurora said as she tu
rned her head and locked eyes with the guy. She started to laugh. “Ha! Do you mean Mr. Jersey Shore over there?”

  “Don’t stare, Aurora!” Tessa said. “I meant the blonde guy next to him.”

  The two guys were now staring at Aurora and Tessa.

  “Is Jersey Shore really walking towards us?” Aurora and Tessa looked at each other with deer-in-the-headlights looks. “Great. I unchained the beast.”

  “Crap!” Tessa said. “Let’s pretend we didn’t see him.”

  “Tessa, he looks like a guy who spends a couple of hours a day at the gym but definitely misses leg day.”

  He was attractive, but his bulging muscles overshadowed his face as if he had no neck. Aurora wondered how he could fit his arms through the shirtsleeves.

  Aurora said in Tessa’s ear, “He seriously looks like he just got out of the Jersey Shore and fell asleep in a tanning bed.”

  “He is right behind us, isn’t he?” Tessa said as she felt the muscular man with a buzz cut approach them. “Crap.”

  “See,” Aurora said. “This is why I didn’t want to look.”

  The guy said, “Hey, where are your boyfriends?”

  Aurora said, “We don’t have any.” What? Why did I say that?

  The guy seemed excited and acted like he had won the jackpot. “What are your names?” he asked. “I’m Eric.”

  Aurora spoke because Tessa was the shy one when it came to talking to men. Aurora was never shy because she had always been in a relationship and didn’t care if she embarrassed herself.

  Aurora said, “I am Tanya, and this is my friend Veronica.”

  One thing that Aurora would do if she went out with anyone was use the name “Tanya.” She never wanted anyone to know her real name. Aurora and Tessa would both use fake names, because if a “bro” asked them for their names, they would do it without hesitation, as if they knew what each other was thinking.

  “Nice to meet you, pretty ladies.” He then pulled his friend over. “This is my friend Jack.”