Running Shoes (The Shades of Northwood)

by Wendy Maddocks

  Katie reached a hand out and thought she felt a hundreds tiny sparks bouncing off her skin. Maybe it was the power she could feel building around. It might have been Jack trying to touch her from wherever he was. But the dark power she was aware of hanging all over town was getting strong.

  It’s here.

  The words played in the back of her mind and their origins were unknown. Their meaning was unknown. And, as soon as they had been registered, the words themselves were unknown too. Suddenly scared – survival instinct? Dramatic much! – Katie dropped her hand and ran for the medical centre. The almost imperceptible buzz of sharp, bright energy in that patch of abandoned land was only just beginning. Going back there again would be beyond stupid. What might that many ghosts do? Anything was possible and she didn’t know enough about this place to believe those possibilities were good.

  Before Katie realised how far she had gone, the breeze blocks of Levenson’s student medical centre loomed up – evidently her feet knew where they were going. That had to be a bad thing. The route walked so often it was automatic. How fantastic.

  Standing in the car park, wrapped in his white coat and trying to press himself into the wall and under the jutting sign, stood Dr de Rossa. The cigarette he was trying to light would catch and the rain was dampening the flame of his lighter every time it flared. He cupped a hand around the white stick and managed to light it, inhaled deeply, holding it for a while before letting the smoke out with a sigh so deep it shook his entire body. He really needed that fix.

  “Those things’ll kill you,” Katie said, walking up to him. Shouldn’t a doctor be setting a better example to his patients.

  “Sue me. What can I do for you?”

  “My shift with Dina. Any change?”

  “I don’t believe so, no. One of the junior doctors has been covering for most of the morning while I was at the primary school. Did you know, those kids think chips are a main food group? Not starch or vegetables… just chips.” He shook his head and flicked ash from his cigarette. “Incredible.”

  “That’s why you’re there. To teach them better.”

  “I have a sinking feeling I may one day be treating a spate of chip-related eating disorders.”

  “You keep the faith strong doc.”

  “Sometimes, I think this town is a lost cause. But you want to see your friend.”

  “Actually, trying to put it off as long as I can. I never seem to come out of that place without some fun new scar.” But she turned to the flat building and decided it looked too impersonal to deserve her fear. It was academic though. She still wasn’t about to go rushing in. “It’s weird how you can hate a building just because of what it is. I mean, it’s just bricks and cement. Completely irrational.”

  Dr de Rossa disagreed. “Most people are afraid of what happens inside. They just make the association with the place.”

  It seemed petty now it had been explained. How unfair was it when people started using logic? “Well, it is where you have your lowest moments.” And a few good ones, like seeing your first child breathe. But moments like that were far in Katie’s future she wasn’t sure why she had thought it.

  “And if you break your leg in the playground or bump your head on the car door, do you develop a fear of those places too?”

  “Guess not.”

  “How about you stay out here with me a few? I could use the company.”

  So she did. Huddling out of the rain under the medical centre sign, the girl and the doctor stood chatting about this and that and nothing in particular. And then she decided to head into the centre. Dr de Rossa followed her through the almost deserted waiting area, through the double doors and then he left her at the closed door to room 4 and went towards the little kitchen. Katie watched him vanish behind a corner vaguely hoping he would come running back to tell her the panic was over, Dina was awake and recovering, to go home and relay the good news.

  He didn’t do that.

  After a while longer of no feet echoing down the halls, no voices muttering in other rooms, she told herself that no-one was going to and pushed the door open. There was a white curtain pulled around a bed in the middle of the room. The other two were empty. A steady but slow beep beep beep came from behind the curtain. She grasped a bunch of material and pulled it aside. It was hard work not to look at the clips and patches and drips and needles snaking out from her blankets and nightgown. There were thick white bandages wound around Dina’s slashed wrists. There was so much medical equipment here that Katie didn’t know the meaning of – heart monitor and saline drip was all she could identify – that it was surprisingly simple to ignore the stuff she didn’t know. But how tiny and fragile she looked beneath all of it was painfully obvious. About as tall as Katie and definitely stronger, Dina looked as though even an ant could snap her like a cracker now.

  Sitting down in the hush and holding her hand, with only the hum of machines for company was nice for a minute or so. A novelty. Then it got boring and a little bit spooky. She wondered what to do. Leo had mentioned that talking was always a good idea because people might still hear even though you think they can’t. She felt a bit silly doing it – didn’t know what to say for a start – but hey, there was nobody around to judge.

  “Why you thought attempting suicide was the answer to your problems, I can’t even imagine. Because your problems just go with you. But you were sitting up and talking to me yesterday and then Jack came and changed everything. Put you back in that bed for a start.”

  She thought she felt Dina’s corpse-like hand twitch in hers, just a minute movement of muscle. Katie held her breath and went very still but the movement never came again. Maybe some tiny part of Dina really was aware of everything going on around her and she was desperate to let some-one know she hadn’t given up yet. Unlikely but Katie wasn’t going to rule anything thing out. If Jack could cling on to this world for God knew how long – he was a proper, old west cowboy for goodness sake – then surely Dina could manage it.

  “I don’t think he knew what would happen when he took your last bit of energy to give himself form. I don’t think he really knew what he was doing. He sensed I needed him and attached himself to the nearest available life source. You. And I’m really sorry. This feels kinda like my fault.”

  The talking helped. Which of them it was more use to was the big question. Katie liked to believed it was nice for them both. “You left me to get attacked and didn’t tell anyone I might be in danger. Nothing actually happened so I’m over it. You wanted me to know everything you know so I don’t end up dying in a hospital bed.” She was more likely to die by bleeding her last drops on the cracked ground of the waste land. But how could she say that to a girl hanging on to life by a weak heart and air being forced into her lungs? “I don’t know what’s going to happen to us, Dina. I wish I did.”

  After a while longer of just sitting there with their hands just touching, a shadow appeared in the doorway.

  “No change?” asked Lainy in a whisper. There was no need for the quiet tone but the clinical setting seemed to demand it.

  “I thought she moved but I must’ve imagined it.”

  “Mind plays tricks on you when you want something badly enough.” She looked down at a white plastic bag in her hand as if just remembering she had it, and held it out. “Adam said you haven’t eaten.”

  Katie looked in the bag – a tuna salad sandwich, chocolate chip muffin and a bottle of fizzy drink. She noticed with a sudden ache that it was the same brand as she had drunk on her last night with her family.

  “And I’ll be checking for leftovers. Go. Eat. You need the sugar.”

  Lainy made a move to shoo the girl out of the room and take her bedside seat over when she noticed how exhausted the young girl looked. It wasn’t surprising really – not after training for the race, finding her own feet in a new place and having to spend valuable time here. And she didn’t even know about the paranormal parts of town yet. She was surprised when Katie thr
ew her arms around her in a hug. It was a bit like having a daughter, she supposed, a vulnerable child who was being forced to grow up way too fast.

  Thanking her, and meaning it more than anything she could think off, Katie scooted off to the little waiting room around the corner and sat down on the first seat she saw that wasn’t dirty or littered with magazines. Collapsed into the chair was probably a better word than sat down. The crushing tiredness had come washing over her like a sudden tide but she could only say here for a few gulps of her drink and until her legs stopped feeling like cooked spaghetti. I’m too young for this. No matter how irrational Dr de Rossa had made her fear seem, there was no way she was spending longer than was absolutely necessary in this place.

  The rain had stopped and the sunshine struggling through the clouds was drying up the puddles that lay here and there. No sooner had she found a bench facing the academy building a hundred yards away that she tore into the lunch – her watch begged afternoon snack time – like a savage. Her stomach had been growling for about an hour. It didn’t take long before she was brushing crumbs off her lap and draining the last few drops of her drink. Eating had only made her hungrier. It always seemed to work that way. Weird. Her stomach seemed to have a mind of its own when it came to being kicked out of the three square meals a day routine. Then again, stuffing down what she could when she could looked dangerously like becoming routine. She leaned back on the bench and took a deep breath. The cool, clean air even tasted fresher. It wasn’t the polluted crap she had grown up breathing – other than a couple of motor vehicles that shipped people around town, there were no dirty exhaust fumes or carbon emissions. She could get used to this. She realised she already was starting to forget how lucky she was not to be dodging cars all the time. Katie started. She had been on the verge of falling asleep, breathing crisp cool air and thinking of… nothing but how great the day was.

  Rising, the words ELAINE PIERCE 1975 – 2009 were engraved on a gold plaque right behind her head, jumped out. It was one in a long line of plaques that dotted benches right along the grassy edge. A girl had been just 24 years old when she died. That suddenly made the day really not great at all. And then Katie remembered why she had been trying to find things she loved about this town. They were things she didn’t want to think about, and decided to take a slow jog home to avoid them.

  “Glad the rain’s stopped.”

  Katie whirled to face the woman who had spoken to her. A woman half-ran across the road without looking and started walking beside her. It took a minute to place the face, but even then, Katie didn’t have a name to go with it.

  “I don’t think we’ll have anymore for tonight.”

  “Oh.” She really didn’t have any feelings either way about the weather. “I don’t mind rain. There’s something nice about curling up inside and shutting the world out. Little things make me happy.”

  “I’m only going as far as the school. You don’t mind me walking with you?”

  “Course not. I could use the company.”

  “Homesick?”

  “Maybe a bit. I just feel out of place here – like I don’t belong here. I’m sure I’ll get used to it though.”

  “It takes time. I’ve lived here years and I still don’t fully know my way around.”

  “Great. I’ll still be getting lost when I’m 30. There’s a life plan.” She smiled at the older woman and continued. “Sorry, I don’t even know your name. in my head I’m calling you Hospital Lady.”

  “Marcie.” Marcie held her hand out to be shaken. “But I’ll answer to Hospital Lady. Or Bus Lady.”

  “I’m not great with names so you might have to.”

  “So, why’re you here? Obviously, you’re one of the academy’s new recruits because why else would anyone live here? But you’re so young. You must be something special.”

  Katie shrugged and reached up to tug on the peak of the cap that was no longer there. Must have left it at the hospital. Damned if she was traipsing all the way back to get it now. She started twirling a mostly straight clump of hour around her fingers and wondered whether to blush or cringe. She was starting to accept that she was talented enough to warrant Levenson’s training programme but accepting – really accepting – that she deserved it was another matter entirely. “That’s what they tell me. I think it’s because everyone else is a bit older than me, they just seem more confident with who they are and everything. But I wasn’t brought here to give up and just be a scared little kid. You know?”

  “I do but there’s nothing wrong with getting a tiny bit over-whelmed by it all. Any time you need a mom while you’re here, just call me.” Marcie scribbled her home phone number on a scrap of paper and handed it over. Katie took it and stuffed it in her backpack. “Anyway, I’m in Saturdays race too. We can run together. If you think I can keep up.”

  “Don’t think it’s gonna be a problem. I’m only running to get back into the swing of it. Crap, I’m an idiot, I’m Katie.”

  “The school’s down here.” Marcie pointed off down a side street when Katie moved to carry on straight. “It’s not far if you want to come. And Freddie likes meeting new people.”

  Katie liked talking to Marcie and decided to go with her. Going home would mean dealing with her housemates and all their crap. No, not right now. They walked in a friendly silence the few blocks to the school. A few parents lined the edges of the playground and walked off with their children when the hundred or so kids streamed out. Most, even ones as young as four or five, began the trek home alone. She supposed there was no real worry about car accidents or abduction. A dozen or so young boys – maybe the odd girl too, they were too far away to be completely sure – raced onto the chalked football pitch and began booting a ball about – just passing it to each other and whacking it towards goal, no regard for teams or rules.

  “Five minutes Freddie!” Marcie yelled. “You’ve got chores to do.”

  That gave Katie time to look around her. The building was oldish and built with pretty red brick. It seemed much smaller than her old primary school but it probably wasn’t really. Everything seemed smaller the bigger you got.

  A young boy of six or seven years old kicked one last goal and then came rushing over to throw himself at Marcie. “Mommy! Can I have some sweeties?” he turned and looked Katie up and down. He pointed at her and looked questioningly at his mother.

  “Later, okay. Freddie, this is Mommy’s new friend, your Aunt Katie.”

  “Hi,” he said, shy. As with most children, the shyness was nothing but a memory when the Mom-encouraged introductions were over. “Are you coming to our house for dinner.”

  “No, I have my own house and my friends are waiting for me.”

  “That’s okay. I don’t like vegetables and Mom makes me eat peas when there are visitors.”

  Katie leant down and whispered in the little boys’ ear. “I like peas so next time, you can sneak me yours.”

  The three of them started the walk back to the main road, Katie and Marcie holding Freddie’s hands and swinging his arms between them. “Aunt Katie, do you have monsters under your bed?”

  No, I have them in my bed, she thought and shook her head. “Nope. No such thing as monsters.”

  “Freddie has bed monsters, bathroom monsters, time to tidy up monsters. Were we ever that strange?”

  “My sister believes in all those things too. She’s 12.”

  “So there’s no end in sight?” Marcie shook her head. “I’ll be old and wrinkly before he gets out of this monster phase. Still, it’s better than the screamy, bitey, fighty phase. God, I don’t miss that.”

  “Sounds like you had fun. Makes me want to have one of my own.” Like, never.

  “So, there’s no monsters. You promise?”

  “Cross my heart and hope to die.” She rushed the words out, trying not to think about where the saying might have come from. Part of her – the innocent, naïve part that she’d been feeling slowly dying for so long feebly protested,
telling her that if she didn’t think about her situation then maybe it would all just stop. “This is where we split. Be good, Freddie and I’ll see you soon.”

  He pulled free and started dribbling an empty Coke can along the street. He was as good as boys Katie’s own age from her old school. Surely professional football clubs would be fighting over him in a few years.

  As long as he got out of this place in time.

  “I told you he’d love you.”

  “He’s a sweet kid.”

  “You’re sweet too. You just have to let yourself be sweet.”

  “Once again, you lost me.” But Katie was sure she understood what Marcie was getting at anyway. There just wasn’t time to be a sweet kid.

  Back at home, Katie dumped her bag and comfy jacket in the hall and went into the kitchen. She wanted to run the cold water until it was bone achingly freezing and splash it all over her face both to cool herself down and to wake herself up. There was something wrong with the sink – she could tell as soon as she entered the room. It took a minute or two to figure out what it was though. That’s how slowly her brain was working. In the bottom of the sink were masses of dark brown curls. She scooped them out and piled the curls on the drainer until she washed her face and then wrapped the curls in kitchen roll and left them.

  She followed voices into the living room. Adam was sitting back in his favourite chair and staring at an almost bald Leo. They were discussing Adams’ music collection but they both went quiet and looked up when she walked in.

  “Okay, have I turned green or something?”

  “You turned pretty much paper white. Did you eat?” A sensible first question from Adam and Katie wished she had a funny shot to make, one of the snarky but good-natured comebacks they had fallen into the habit of trading but she only nodded.

  Marcie was right. Maybe. She could at least try being just a kid and not the bitter and hard woman she thought she needed to be. “Thanks. I needed it.”