by R. J. Blain
“What about the hybrids?”
“They’ll be taken to a different habitat, and the tigers and lions will likewise be separated by species and integrated into their habitats. It’s a bit of a process.” Jonas examined the cages with some of the primates, which had been kept in the upper cages out of reach. “These monkeys bother me.”
“Why?”
“I have no idea what they are or where they came from. I’ve never seen anything quite like them before.”
A faint pop warned me someone had come calling, and I turned. Lucifer stood behind Jonas, joining the incubus in staring at the cages and their occupants. “It seems someone has cracked cloning from old DNA samples. This particular species of monkey went extinct thousands of years ago. Humans found them to be particularly tasty and ate them right to extinction. Some became pets, but when you have solitary pet monkeys with a population of monkeys otherwise slated for the market, they eventually go extinct. More reason to make sure their operations are halted. There is a fine line between working to prevent a species from going extinct and trying to play God. This infringes on the playing God territory.”
Crap. I joined them in staring at the animals. “You’re not going to destroy them, are you?”
“No, not at all. They’ll be given a habitat and nature will be allowed to resume its course. Adding to the sin doesn’t change the original sin, and these animals have done nothing wrong. They’ll live as natural a life I can give them in the conservatory. They won’t be reintroduced to Earth, however. It’s one thing for people to fight for the survival of a species, but it’s another to attempt to circumvent nature’s intent. Humans killed this species through its poor choices, and this species will find its new home to be a rather pleasant slice of my many hells.”
“But wouldn’t that make it humanity’s responsibility to restore what they destroyed?” I asked.
“If such noble intent were behind the animals in these cages, I might be inclined to agree with you, but it’s not.” Lucifer turned his attention to the Japanese river otters, and he relaxed and smiled. “One day, those will get to roam the Earth again. They are natural born, with numerous generations having been bred in captivity. They’ll stay in my conservatory until there is a sufficient population and a habitat in Japan suitable for them.”
“You can tell at a glance?” I blurted, widening my eyes at the power the Devil opted to display.
“I’ve learned I need to search the past to determine the future of these animals. We’ve come across a number of humans transformed into animals and then studied in the labs. Those we handle differently.”
“They’re converted into demons or devils, much like I was,” Jonas added. “That’s the only way Lucifer has of offering a new life to the victims. Sometimes, the victim asks to be killed and given a new life, once again human. He handles those cases.”
Lucifer stared into my eyes, and his full attention disconcerted me. “They’ve already experienced my many hells in their life, and He has a kinder touch with that. He’ll bring out an archangel to shepherd the soul to the afterlife and begin the process of cultivating the new seed. But the choice is in the hands of the victims.”
It took me a few minutes to understand his meaning, and the Devil waited with unnerving patience while I thought it through. “You wanted me to see the real reason you’re working on this and need my help,” I guessed.
“I did. Honestly, this is one of the better labs we’ve busted. They wanted the animals alive and in good health, although the lions and tigers made a mess of things.” Lucifer shrugged. “I’ll have fun with those fucking assholes once I get home.”
“And the person in the refrigerator?”
“That is for the humans to investigate. When that stage begins, you’ll be enjoying a nice bath in your hotel and whatever pampering you can coerce out of Jonas.”
“He’s proving resistant,” I complained.
“The hunt is more fun with a splash of desperation. You’ll have a great time.”
Threat? Promise? A little bit of both? I regarded the Devil with a frown, wondering if he’d taken sides, whose side he was on, and his general motivations.
Jonas snorted. “She still has healing to do first.”
“I really made you a little too well. I’m both disgusted and proud of myself. Jonas is among the best I have for things like this, and if he says you need to heal first, you need to heal first. I left you in his care because he’s the best incubus I’ve got for the job. Some of the succubi are as good as him, but you’d become uncomfortable the instant she started checking out your breasts.” Lucifer stared at my chest. “He was not joking around when he made you, that’s for sure. I guess I should warn you now. My wife loves breasts. She loves chests with perfect nipples, and she has an utter fascination with women’s breasts. Eventually, she’s going to grab you because she wants to verify they’re as soft as they look. I’m convinced she can’t help herself. Tell her no if it bothers you. She’ll do her best to stop. She’s not always successful at stopping, but she does try.”
I took a turn regarding my breasts with interest. “Honestly, I’m surprised they emerged through the cancer mostly intact.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” Jonas replied with a shrug. “It just happened I addressed them first, as once the hospital’s painkillers wore off, the pain would have been excruciating at best. I worked based on severity and your discomfort.”
“Why are we talking about my breasts when there are animals to get settled into new homes and out of these stupid cages?”
The Devil laughed and headed for the otters. “We’ll start with these little angels. I’ve already got their habitat set up, and they can all share until I can get them separated by species.”
I pointed at the little otter on my shoulder. “She’s mine.”
“I will put some of the fucking assholes to work to build her a good habitat in a temporary residence for you.”
Jonas pointed at the second young Asian small claw otter, the one he claimed was a boy and should be kept with my girl. “That one needs to go with her.”
After a moment of examining how the cages were bound together, he opened the cage and caught the otter, who cried and whined. “Don’t fret over it, Sandra. I scare most mortal animals, and this little guy is a bit shy. He’ll warm up to me soon enough. Hand over your girl, and I’ll give them to Darlene to care for. That’ll keep her amused for ten whole minutes, I’m sure.”
I pet the otter to comfort her before handing her over to the Devil. He vanished.
“If he brings a handbasket to ferry animals off to hell, I’ll be done with today, Jonas. That’s my last straw.”
Jonas snickered. “He does not understand mortal fascination with his hells and handbaskets, but I’ve seen stranger things. Just hold on for a few more minutes. Our part in this is almost over.”
Eleven
I swear I’m not actually a vampire.
Jonas drove the Lamborghini, but I missed the ride, as the instant I buckled in, I clocked out. While I’d gotten used to transfusions, having one done in a hotel room with my donor, a younger man with dark hair and eyes, counted as a novelty. Diana paced, and she fiddled with a meter, one vaguely similar to the virus scanners the hospital used.
I could only assume my donor was Darian, unless the Devil had scrounged up a third person to serve as my blood bank. I spotted my future bed buddy sitting in the corner reading a book. “Did somebody finally put you in time out, Jonas?”
Everybody jumped, although Darian managed to stay in his seat. While he tugged on the line transferring his blood into my veins, it remained connected.
Diana resumed fiddling with her scanner, shaking her head and muttering something.
My future bed buddy closed his book and grinned at me. “I’m in the corner because I influenced Diana last night so they’d leave. They hovered to the point of becoming annoyances. My ploy worked, but for some reason, they’ve been irritable with me today
. Likely because they got a room down the hall so they could indulge, which meant Diana didn’t check in with Lucifer. Lucifer complains when they don’t check in with him. It was worth it.”
Diana eyed the scanner as though debating if she wanted to throw it at the incubus. “Lucifer spent an hour scolding me this morning because I wasn’t keeping a closer eye on his spicy pony with bite. He’s always protective when it comes to the new fillies and colts. How dare we have a good time last night while he is fussing?”
“I’m just happy I haven’t been moved to a hospital again. This is far more comfortable than a hospital.” I eyed the line feeding me blood. “Did I get mauled by a tiger or lion, thus requiring another round of blood?”
Hopping to his feet, Jonas came over and sat on the edge of the bed. “We were both exposed to quite a few illnesses in our adventure yesterday. Your virus spiked getting rid of them, and your blood production isn’t up to the task of sustaining the virus when it’s hard at work making you healthy. So, we’re topping you up this morning before we both get to enjoy some rather intimidating stacks of paperwork or other errands Lucifer has planned for us. Diana confirmed your immune system is functioning again with that fancy scanner of hers. Your next appointment at the hospital will be in three weeks for a round of tests. Lucifer didn’t want to push our luck to see how you’d recover naturally, so he threatened to send Darian off to Europe while keeping Diana busy here. As they feel that’s cruel and unusual punishment, they’re serving as your personal blood bank again.”
“I’m really sorry,” I said, wincing at the thought of having turned them into blood mules. “I swear I’m not actually a vampire.”
Diana waved off my apology while Darian stared at the plastic tubing.
“Maybe I should offer you a few extra apologies, Darian?”
“It’s not needed, although it’s appreciated. I’m more pissed Lucifer numbed you while I get to enjoy feeling the fucking thing.”
“You’re not a baby, Darian. It’s not that bad,” Diana chided. “It only stings a little.”
“Four hours of stinging really stinks, and I’m going to need a lot of tender, loving care to get over it.”
Raising a brow, I eyed Jonas. “Are you influencing them right now?”
“No, this is his natural state, which generally means if Diana is in the same room, he’s interested. You should see the separation anxiety. I’m concerned for my general health, as equines give incubi a run for their money on a good day. On a bad one, they win. I hate when I can’t win, Sandra.”
“Well, if you take appropriate care of me every evening and possibly morning, there shouldn’t be any bad days, so you’ll win often. If I don’t get bed buddy time, we both lose, and we should both be unhappy about that.”
“That sounds like the start of a really good relationship for you, Jonas.” Diana grinned at the incubus. “Lucifer will be happy he won’t have to fret over his little brother.”
“Brother-in-law,” Jonas corrected.
“You’re his precious darling’s brother, which makes you his brother. It’s been decades. Just accept it already.” Tapping on the screen of her scanner made the machine beep a few times, and Diana narrowed her eyes. “Sandra, your lycanthropy virus is now showing as attuned to an equine species, although the species is not registered in the CDC’s database, which means you’re a new breed. He is perfectly capable of concocting some new variant, so he probably made it so you adapt well to the hells—and to be a good food source for Jonas. I have a feeling Jonas is also one of His creations, too.”
The incubus straightened, and he frowned. “What do you mean?”
“You know I took a blood sample this morning to check on you,” Diana replied. “It just happens there was a DNA sample of your parents available, so I ran the general tests. Even post conversion, there is typically surviving DNA identifying mortal parentage. I bothered to do the analysis while waiting for Darian to get hooked up for the transfusion.”
“You’re saying I’m like Darlene?”
“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. I went and had a chat with Darian’s father about it, and he did some peeking. Your mother was infertile. While she had eggs and ovaries, the eggs were all defective and any fertilized wouldn’t come to term; they’d naturally abort shortly after conception. And while there was nothing wrong with your father, they would never have had children without an intervention. I guess your mother must have prayed for a miracle at some point, because she had you and your sister—but since her eggs weren’t viable, I suppose He opted to handle the situation by providing the fully fertilized egg. He just grabbed your seed, which has been around for a long time. Actually, your seed is pretty interesting.”
“Lucifer mentioned he’s had a few rounds with me,” Jonas muttered.
“You were his first rehabilitation. You were made to teach Lucifer how to prepare seeds to go back into the world. So, yes. He has had a few rounds with you. Your first sin was one Lucifer didn’t understand, and that shaped him to be what he is today. He still doesn’t understand why you ended up in his not-so-tender care that first time, although you definitely have earned a few of your rounds with him.” Diana tapped on the screen of her scanner again. “Lucifer’s brothers have known for a while, but they didn’t want to upset Darlene.”
Sighing, Jonas shook his head. “Every time I think I start to understand this crazy family, I find out I’m wrong.”
“But now you know why—it wasn’t that He wanted to strip you of your biological sister, but that without His intervention, there was no way either one of you could have been born to your parents at all. He gave you both the genetics you needed to thrive in your new futures. And, I suspect, He wired you to be best suited to become an incubus so Sandra could have someone capable of keeping up with her. He likes efficiency, and He also enjoys meddling with Lucifer’s plans.”
Jonas’s shoulders slumped. “I hate that you’re probably right.”
“You’ll get over it eventually. She’s still your sister. You just had a rather unusual conception.” Diana offered the incubus a smile. “It’s sweet this bothers you so much. Darlene understands it’s because she’s your sister, the same way she won’t let go of you being her brother. If anything, He made certain you would be brother and sister, and He made sure your genetics were suitable for the extended lifespan you’ve both been given. I’m still getting used to the idea of having been a manipulation from long before my birth, but I see the reasoning why. It does turn everything I thought I knew about the nature of free will on its ear, though. We can change things, but it’s difficult to fight fate. I think that’s why Lucifer is so extreme—because for him to have free will, he had to fight an absolute, so he himself became an absolute. He often struggles to break free from the various molds he created for himself.”
“Can I just thank you now for keeping me from kicking the bucket? I really appreciate that. There was no way in hell I could otherwise afford a donor.”
Darian chuckled. “There was no way in hell Lucifer was letting the intern of his choice die from cancer, but you were at a stage where there were limited options. My father actually suggested us being donors, as our virus would let Lucifer determine your strain later. He beat us to the chase, though. That surprised me. That said, my father is probably partially responsible. Someone slipped and mentioned about how we were pretty tired from the constant donations.” With a grin, Darian glanced at Diana. “One day, you will learn.”
“I was beyond tired. I was exhausted. I needed a jolt from a damned archangel to get back on my feet. Also, we learned that our virus can do a max of two units a day without becoming a spiking mess. I donated three halfway through the first week, and I was a walking disaster. Unfortunately, we had dinner with Darian’s parents that night, and one of his fathers is an archangel. We both got a round with him, which was part of why there was extra blood. Holy fire is useful for that sort of thing.”
“And while Diana can wield ho
ly fire, after a week of donating blood, she was tapped all around.” Darian waggled his finger at Lucifer’s secretary. “Next time Lucifer tells you a sob story, get the details before agreeing. Agree anyway, but at least go in knowing what we’re getting into.”
“That’s fair,” she replied. “I heard the word cancer, and well, that decided me. But your cancer was far, far worse than mine. Mine had just started to develop before Lucifer and his brothers got their wicked hands on me.”
“Did you just call angels wicked?” I blurted.
“Angels are supremely wicked, and archangels are even worse. Then you have Lucifer, who is the prime wicked being. He is just a step below Lucifer on the wickedness chart. In my opinion, of course.” Diana pointed at her scanner. “So, back to the science. The virus has been working overtime fixing your vital organs. Your kidneys and liver are back to good shape, your lungs are healthy, your brain isn’t doing too bad, but I’ll have to get you to a hospital to confirm some of the oddities my scanner is reporting. I’m not concerned about it, but your brain seems to have structural oddities.”
“Well, isn’t that to be expected? The cancer ate parts of my brain.”
Diana stilled. “Nobody had told me the cancer had progressed to your brain. Wait, no. I think I’d been told the cancer had progressed to full-body, but I had assumed that wasn’t in your brain.”
“The lycanthropy virus is restoring my brain, then?”
“That would explain the structural oddities, yes. Anyway, your IQ is reporting at higher than normal, which is to be expected from your general ability in school. There’s odd activity in the temporal and parietal lobes, but that’s consistent with practitioner magic. Have you used much in the way of magic?”
“Yes, I’m a practitioner. Or was—I haven’t really tried to do anything since I was hospitalized.”
Diana retrieved a notepad and a pen. “Do any form of minor working for me, please.”