Cleansed by Death

by Catherine Finger

  “Josie.” He took my right hand and held it in both of his, sending jolts of love and peace rocketing through me. “You are the most wonderful woman in the world. I admire everything about you. Your tender heart, your new love for God, your search for justice, your wisdom, the warrior in you. All of it, all of you. I admire all of you. And I want more.” His eyes were clear. As they stared into mine, I saw hope and a future.

  And then, just as suddenly, a black wave of terror threatened to crush me. A dump truck sat on my chest. My pulse raced, and I wondered if Nick could hear it. I bowed my head.

  God, I need you now! Please take my hand and lead me through this moment of fear and into Your glorious light. Here is this wonderful man declaring his love for me, and I need You to keep things straight, to show me Your ways, to let me know the right next step.

  I lifted my head and looked at the man beside me. I breathed God into the moment. My heartbeat slowed, and my nerves settled to a dull roar. Perfect love casts out all fear. I smiled into those soft, brown eyes.

  “Nick, I’ve loved you since forever, and I’ll love you ‘til the grave. As much as I love you, I have to say I love the God who made you more, and I am learning to seek to obey Him first before all others. And one thing I can tell you, I am a married woman. And until or unless that fact changes, there’s nothing more that can be done or said between us.”

  My valiant attempt at putting God first and Nick a close second had not gone bone deep. My eyes were still speaking to him in love. I drew them away from the shining love I saw staring back at me and looked at our hands clasped together. Something on the inside of his right wrist caught my eye—a smudge of dirt?

  “Relax, beautiful. I’m not saying I want to marry you… yet. I’m just saying I want to be the first in line when you’re ready to entertain the thought. I’ll leave the rest up to the man upstairs.” Nick drew my hand to his lips and kissed it softly. His sleeve fell away, revealing an exquisitely shaped cross. I stared at it, frowning.

  “Nick? Is that a tat?” I ran my index finger the length of it. When had he gotten inked again? And why?

  He nodded, pulling his jacket up enough to show the rest of it. Something was written in tiny black script, but I couldn’t make it out. Numbers? An abbreviation maybe? I cocked an eyebrow at him.

  “From now on, let no one cause me trouble, for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus. Galatians 6:17. Let’s just say Gino and I spent a little time on our knees at a chapel in a field recently.”

  My heart raced again. Waves of joy cascaded over me. I wanted to skip around the room like a little kid. I bowed my head and thanked the God of the universe. Then, in my mind’s eye, I saw myself alone in a meadow. The sun went down around me, and the heavens opened up, and a beam of otherworldly light shone all around me, connecting me to God in all His glory. He was a shining light of power and love and every virtue packed into one Magnificent Being. I was a minor expression of Him, shining with a powerful light of my own, connected to Him with my heart and soul.

  God reached down from heaven and took my hand in His. I looked up at Him in love and trust and awe. Next to Him stood another being of light and beauty and power and strength, also connected from the heart to His light and love.

  The power and majesty of God shifted again, and the other being took shape as a man, lit brightly from within, standing beside Him. I couldn’t see his features, but I knew the other being was my Nick. Then the beautiful beings turned to face the future and walk together.

  The vision faded and I opened my eyes. I tugged my hand free of Nick’s and spread my fingers out wide. My wedding band and engagement ring were still solidly in place. Nick took my hand, drew it to his mouth, and brushed his lips lightly against each finger. He paused on my ring finger. Then he bent it carefully, making the ring as prominent as possible. He studied the rings, and then he traced the faint trace of a bruise on the inside of my wrist with his finger. His finger trailed back up to my hand, and then he carefully bent the rest of my fingers until he’d formed my hand into a fist.

  “I love you Josie. All of you. Josie the warrior, Josie the lover of small children, and now, Josie the woman of God. I don’t know what it all means, or where it will lead us. I don’t need to know that today. Having you, having your friendship, is enough for today. And tomorrow. After that, only God knows. And that’s enough for me.” He gently released my hand.

  The glorious warmth of him radiated through me. I placed my hand lightly on the side of his face and nodded. Hope, sweet hope, glittered in his eyes like a beacon in the night.

  I hope you enjoyed Cleansed by Death! I need to ask you a favor. Would you help others enjoy this book too?

  Recommend it. Please help other readers find this book by recommending it to friends in person and on social media.

  Review it. Reviews can be tough to come by these days. You, the reader, have the power to make or break a book. Loved it, hated it – I’d just enjoy your feedback. Please tell other readers what you thought about this book by reviewing it at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or Goodreads. My goal is to have 100 honest reviews on Amazon. Will you help me reach that goal?

  www.amazon.com/dp/B01CV4YN8W

  If you do write a review, I invite you to email a link to your review to reviews@hopespringsbooks.com and you will be entered in a drawing to receive a free copy of HopeSprings Books’ next novel as a way of thanking you!

  And I’d love for you to connect with me on Facebook:

  www.facebook.com/CatherineFingerAuthor/

  Thank you so much for reading Cleansed by Death and for spending time with me.

  In gratitude,

  Catherine Finger

  Jo Oliver struggles with her faith. Gino serves as her spiritual mentor. What faith struggles do you experience? Who do you turn to when you need to work through your faith issues?

  How does Jo Oliver cope with the pain of betrayal in her life? Do you think she works to avoiding feeling pain? What do you do to avoid feeling pain? What can you do to begin growing through that area of your life?

  During her darkest moments, Josie is attacked by thoughts of suicide. In the midst of her battle, she feels God's presence, and experiences relief from her mental anguish. How did you react to this struggle? Where do you turn for help in your own life when things seem hopeless? Please know that no matter what you are going through, you are loved, and there is hope! Check out a few references at the end of the book for more information.

  Part of Jo’s journey has to do with reconciliation with her past, and with her faith. What does she do to make peace with her past and what part does her faith play in this process?

  Jo Oliver is a strong female leader in a man’s world. Does she face gender discrimination? What examples support your response?

  Do you think the portrayal of Jo Oliver as a female police chief is realistic? Why or why not?

  Jo Oliver’s struggle to become a mother to Samantha is a constant theme. What are some of her fears related to motherhood? How does she overcome them? Do these fears resonate with your own experience?

  The tension between Jo and Nick ebbs and flows, as do Jo’s feelings toward him. Why do you think she is so ambivalent about his role in her life? How do you think she really feels about him? What do you think she really wants?

  Have you ever felt extreme ambivalence in a relationship? How did you handle it?

  9. Jo Oliver has built a strong network of caring friends who stand by her in the midst of difficult circumstances. What do you see her doing to nurture her relationships with others? What do you do to keep your own personal sense of community strong?

  About faith:

  Would you like to know God personally?

  http://www.4laws.com/laws/englishkgp/default.htm

  New Hope Christian Community - People, neighborhoods, communities and the world becoming who God designed them to be.

  http://www.newhoperoundlake.com

  About domestic abuse:

  A
Safe Place - Transforming Lives After Domestic Abuse http://www.asafeplaceforhelp.org

  The National Domestic Violence Hotline

  http://www.thehotline.org/

  800−799−7233

  About suicide prevention:

  National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

  http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

  In the words of C.S. Lewis, I feel “lucky beyond my desserts” for the love and faithfulness of my family and friends who buoyed me through this magnificent journey. Special thanks to Margo and Joe, and Jodie and Carl for generating key character studies and ideas. More special thanks to my beautiful niece Catherine—a better writer by far—and to her equally beautiful sisters for sharing their delight with me along the way. Really special thanks to my warrior nephew, Dan, who taught me how to fight and which weapons to use for which battles—especially when you want to win.

  My dear friend Erynn Newman kept one hand on my shoulder while sharing her supernatural encouragement and beta reading gifts, and I am grateful. Her constancy improved my work.

  Thank you to my new friends at HopeSprings Books for strengthening my work, and sharing my passion for telling His truth through the power of story.

  Like her heroine Police Chief Jo Oliver, Dr. Catherine Finger is committed to protect and serve. But instead of handcuffs and handguns, she uses her wit and wisdom as a high school superintendent in Grayslake, IL.

  Learn more at CatherineFinger.com

  Follow her on Facebook:

  www.facebook.com/CatherineFingerAuthor/

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