Deadlocked 6

by A. R. Wise

  I considered what she said, and knew it wasn't a bad idea. If she was right, and the military returned, then they might've been able to track down the survivors. However, my stubbornness prevented me from admitting that she was right, and I found fault in her plan anyhow. "Kim and Hero left with the bodies, which meant that you were in charge of the evacuation. And besides, you know the rule about only traveling in twos. We always travel in twos, Annie."

  "I know, Mom, but this was sort of extraordinary circumstances. Okay?"

  "No, Annie. It's not okay." I knew I was being too hard on her, but I continued anyhow. Part of me needed her to understand that she had to take on a stronger leadership role in the Rollers, but another part of me recognized that I was being unfair. Still though, I continued to yell at her. "You need to stop taking off on your own like this. You keep doing it, and one of these days you're not going to just get yourself killed, you're going to get other people killed as well. This isn’t a game, Annie."

  "No shit." She punched the table. "I was doing my job. I was trying to protect everyone."

  "And you could've gotten yourself killed." I started by screaming at her, but then my anger tapered off and I sounded as if I was pleading. "You need to be more careful. I don't know what I’d do if something happened to you or your sister. I don't even want to think about it."

  She was silent as she turned away from me.

  We stayed quiet for what felt like several minutes. "I'm sorry," I said finally. "I shouldn't have yelled at you."

  She nodded, but didn't offer any other retort. Normally I would've discounted her silence as a petulant, childish response, but I knew her well enough to see that something else was troubling her. I walked around the table and took her hand. "What is it, Annie? What's bugging you?"

  She avoided my gaze and I had to put my hand on her chin to force her to look at me. There were tears in her eyes.

  "What's the matter?" I asked again.

  "It's my fault."

  "What's your fault? What are you talking about?"

  "It's my fault they're dead. All those people died because of me."

  I was confused and wanted to console her, but didn't understand why she thought the attack on Vineyard could be blamed on her. "What do you mean?"

  "When the helicopter opened fire on the bridge, when they killed Stitch and all those other people, I missed my shot. It's my fault they died."

  "Annie, you can't…"

  She pushed me away. "Don't, Mom. Don't try to say it's not because it is. It's my fault they got killed. I'm a fucking sniper. That's my fucking job and I missed my shot." She gesticulated an imagined distance in a frantic manner as she moved away from me. She was wild, angry, and venting her frustration. "He was right there, not more than fifty yards from me. I had him in my sights and I fucking missed, Mom. Do you know how that feels? Think about it." She slammed her finger into her chest over and over. "It was my job to take him out, and I missed."

  "Annie," I spoke with compassion. It pained me to see her like this. "You can't think like that. You were trying to save their lives. Nothing that happened is your fault."

  "Bullshit. You know damn well you don't believe that. If I were anyone else other than your daughter, you'd be pissed at me for missing the shot." She pounded her finger into her chest over and over. "I'm the one that missed. They're dead because I couldn't make the shot."

  "The only person responsible for their deaths is the guy that pulled the trigger. You didn't have anything to do with it."

  "I need to go," she said, her voice devoid of the passion that she'd had moments ago.

  "Where are you going? You need to be here to brief the Lieutenants."

  She waved me off as she walked back to the entrance of the tent. "Have Bonnie tell them. You don't need me."

  "Annie, stop." She didn't, so I added, "That's an order."

  She paused and her shoulders slunk as she stared out of the tent.

  "I'm the God damned captain, and I'm telling you to report." I hated pulling rank on her, but I wasn't going to let her just walk away from this.

  "Don't make me do this, Mom. I don't have it in me. Not now."

  "You need to grow up. Stop acting like a child and learn your place." I was being harsh, but I needed to fulfill my role as captain instead of as her mother. She was an adult now, and I needed her as a soldier instead of as my child.

  Her posture straightened and she turned to face me, decisive and alert. She wiped the tears from her eyes and walked to the table. "Call them in. Let's get it over with."

  "Are you okay?" I asked, flitting between being her superior and her mother.

  "Yes, sir." She formally addressed me, and I knew that she meant it as an insult.

  "Grandma?" asked my grandson as he poked his head in through the tent's door. He was looking for me, but then saw Annie standing at the table. "Auntie!"

  David rushed in as fast as his crutch would allow. Kim's son was a gorgeous little boy, with sandy blonde hair and bright blue eyes, but he had been handicapped a couple of years earlier. It was a tragedy that had taken the lives of several of our members, and crippled others. Our camp was attacked by a pack of Greys, and one of the creatures got hold of David. It tried to eat him while Kim was caught up in a fight with another one of the creatures. She was forced to watch as the zombie devoured her son. It was a miracle that the boy survived the attack, and another that he was immune to the virus.

  David had survived, but not without horrific injuries. His face had been mauled, and he lost both his right foot and his right hand. However, the boy never seemed to let his injuries slow him down. He was a constant source of joy for everyone around him, and was an inspiration to us all. I don't think there is any better vision of personal strength than to watch this crippled child ignore his impediment and play with the other children among the Roller family. He was, and always will be, the bravest person I know.

  Annie took David into her arms and lifted him up. He dropped his crutch, which had been specially adapted with a cuff to accommodate his missing right hand, and wrapped his arms around Annie's neck. "I missed you so much!"

  "I missed you too, kid," said Annie as she kissed his forehead.

  "Is Mommy with you?"

  "No, she went with Uncle Hero to go take care of some things. She'll be back soon though."

  "Promise?"

  "Of course," said Annie. "She'd never leave you. You know that."

  "Are you two mad at each other?" he asked and looked at both of us.

  "No, honey," I said. "We're just trying to deal with some grown up stuff."

  "When Mommy gets back, I'm sure she can help fix whatever's wrong. She always fixes everything."

  Annie tickled him and he guffawed as he pushed her hand away. "That's true, kiddo. I wish she was here too."

  "When's she coming back?"

  "I don't know," said Annie. "Pretty soon, I'd bet. You should go draw her a picture for when she gets back."

  "Okay," he said and kissed his aunt on the cheek before being set back down. Annie knelt to pick up his crutch for him, but David waved away her assistance and got it himself. He knelt and retrieved the support with his left hand and then snapped the cuff over his right wrist before tucking the brace under his arm.

  He started to head out of the tent when I called out to him, "Love you."

  He turned and smiled. "Love you too, Nana."

  "Can you do me a favor and tell Clyde to come in?"

  He nodded at me and then left, allowing a brief illumination of sunlight to hit us as he went. Annie turned back to the table and started to inspect the map as I moved to stand across from her. The red-splotched map, decorated with marks that detailed our past battles, separated us.

  "I guess you were right," I said, breaking the silence.

  Annie looked at me, confused. "About what?"

  "About fighting back."

  She grimaced and looked back down. She picked up a red pin that was set aside and placed i
t on the map, near the Denver International Airport ruins. "I don't want to debate politics."

  "It's not a debate. I'm admitting that I was wrong. You and the others were right. We should've been more aggressive."

  "Don't start acting like this is your fault," she said and then looked up at me with a wry smile. "The only person responsible is the one that pulled the trigger. Isn't that right?" She wasn't being malicious, but her point was valid. I was the leader of the High Rollers, and my decision to avoid confrontation with the military might've led to the attacks against local settlements. I was quick to take the blame, just like Annie took the blame for not shooting down the helicopter. We were more alike than either of us would ever admit.

  "What do you think?" I thought that Annie agreed with Hero, Kim, and the others who insisted on attacking the military every chance we had, but I wasn't certain. She was so young, and her worldview was still being shaped. At times, I thought she wanted to agree with my passive mindset, but was encouraged by Kim to take a more aggressive stance. "Do you agree with your sister about all this?"

  She snickered. "Kim and I don't agree about much."

  "But what about this? I'm asking you, Annie. I want to know what you think."

  "I don't know, Mom."

  "Don't give me that," I said, my voice returning to the admonishing tone I'd hoped to avoid. "Tell me what you really think."

  She looked at me, and I knew immediately that she was hiding something. As her mother, I could decipher even the slightest hint of emotion in her demeanor, and her eyes screamed of lies that desperately wanted to get out. She turned away, aware that she'd given away too much without saying a word.

  "What is it?" I rounded the table and confronted her. "Annie, what aren't you telling me?"

  "I don't want to get dragged into this. Like I told Hero, I don't want to get in the middle of this fight between all of you. I even refused to go with him into…" she paused and looked away.

  "Into what?" I took her arm and forced her to look at me. "What's going on?"

  She avoided eye contact. "Do you remember Operation Slugger?"

  "Yes, why?"

  She finally looked at me, and I knew what she was about to say. "We never stopped it."

  I released her arm and stepped back. Her admission of treason stole my breath. When I spoke, my one word question escaped hushed, "Why?"

  "When you took over as captain, a bunch of Billy's supporters agreed to continue with the operation behind your back. We've been attacking the compounds while on patrols and looking for new ones. Hero's still making bombs and sending them out with patrols. We found out that the traders were working with the military, and that they'd delivered tainted supplies to the towns. We followed them to DIA, and Hero wanted to bomb them. I didn't want anything to do with it, but he went without me. This has been going on for a while, Mom. We've been fighting back without your permission."

  "For how long?" I asked as I supported myself against the table.

  "I don't know, a year maybe."

  "Who?" I felt the blood drain from my face and sweat bead on my forehead as I struggled with the implications of what Annie revealed.

  "You don't want to know."

  "Who?" I screamed, having found strength in my voice again.

  "Stitch, Max, Julian, Ella, Oscar, Graves, Paul…"

  She was naming the members of the patrols, which wasn't what I wanted to know. "Which lieutenants?"

  "Levon, Billy, and…" She paused, reluctant to tell me the third person's name, although I already knew.

  "And?" I forced her to reveal the extent of the betrayal.

  "Kim."

  A tear fell down my cheek, springing from my eye with no warning, and I wiped it away as I stared at Annie with steeled anger. "Why?" I tried not to reveal how hurt I was, but my question escaped from me like a pathetic whine.

  She shook her head and refused to look at me. "We just didn't want to run anymore. We wanted to fight back."

  "Run from what?"

  "What do you mean?" she asked.

  "What were we running from? From the military? We haven't been attacked in years. We haven't seen activity for years, Annie. What do you think we're running from?"

  "They did this to us. They need to get paid back."

  "That's not you talking, that's Billy. He's gotten a group of Reds set on revenge and is going to get the whole damn lot of us killed on this stupid fucking quest of his."

  I watched her as she walked around the table, continuing to avoid eye contact. She stared at the map as she spoke. "So you think they should get away with it? You think it's okay to kill six and a half billion people?"

  "No, of course not."

  "Well, that's what it sounds like," she said. "Ever since you became the captain, you've forced us to stop focusing on attacking their bases. You're backing down; giving up."

  "It's been twenty years. When do we move on? Why is it so hard for people to realize that we can't keep trying to fight this war?"

  "We're not going to stop fighting until we win," she said, still echoing the opinions that Billy espoused before I took over as captain.

  "And how do we win? What's the strategy that will finally end this war and make it so our children are safe? What will make it so that we don't have to worry about that anymore?" She didn't answer, and I snidely said, "I'm waiting for an answer, Annie."

  "Don't ask me," she said. "Talk to Kim and Billy. They're the ones…"

  "Don't worry," I said, interrupting her in a way that I would've chastised myself for had I been less angry. "I'll talk to them both soon."

  "God damn it," she said. "I knew I shouldn't have said anything. Don't tell them I told you. Okay? The other lieutenants don't know anything. You need to talk to Billy and Kim."

  The tent flap opened and a spear of sunlight split the table in two, separating me from Annie as we both looked at the silhouette that was entering. "Hope I'm not interrupting," said Clyde.

  "No," I said after a moment. "Come on in."

  "Dave told me to come see you. Did you want the other lieutenants too?" He jerked his thumb over his shoulder while still holding the tent flap open. "I can go grab them if you want."

  "In a minute," I said. "I wanted to find out how the patient is looking first."

  "Which one? I've got a lot to choose from."

  "The prisoner and his twin."

  Clyde walked in and the flap closed behind him, enveloping the tent in shade that seemed darker now that my eyes had adjusted to the light. "It's not good, for the prisoner anyhow. He was shot in the chest, and he's coming in and out of consciousness. We've got him doped up…"

  "On our poppy?" asked Annie, appalled at the suggestion that we were wasting our store of pain medication, which was heroin that the doctors had started referring to as poppy, on the prisoner.

  Clyde glanced disapprovingly at Annie. He was barely middle-aged, but his face had taken on severe frown lines. Time had not been kind to Clyde, and he looked far older than his years. His hair had hardly a single blonde hair amid the grey and when he scowled his bushy eyebrows connected in the middle. "Yes, on our poppy. We need to save his life if we can."

  "Why?" asked Annie with disdain.

  "First off, because we want to ask him some questions. Second, because we're not barbarians."

  "Okay, that's enough." I stopped the conversation before it escalated into a fight. Tension was high in the camp since my election, with half of us yearning for peace and the other half pushing for war. Clyde was on my side, and had become increasingly frustrated with Billy's push for retaliation against the military. "Is he going to make it?"

  Clyde grimaced, and then shook his head. "I doubt it."

  "Can he talk? Can we get any answers out of him before he dies?"

  "He's in a fevered state, and the poppy's not helping." He looked at Annie and added, "Without the poppy he'd be unconscious, or dead by now."

  "Have you been able to get any information out of him?" I
asked.

  "No," said Clyde. "He just keeps asking for his brother."

  "Do we know anything about this guy?" I asked and looked at Annie.

  She shrugged. "Not much. He showed up at Vineyard with Harrison. I think Kim and Stitch found him at Hanger."

  "So we've got to assume he was working with the military," I said.

  Annie grimaced and shook her head. "I don't think so. He was the one that took the helicopter down. He's the one that shot the pilot."

  "His brother," said Clyde, dismissive of Annie's opinion that the man had nothing to do with the military showing up at Vineyard. We were all struggling to put the pieces together, and people were jumping to conclusions. It was my job to try and decide the best path to take, and I could tell that Clyde was frustrated that I didn't immediately agree with him. "Come on, Laura, this seems pretty obvious. The reason they attacked Vineyard was because of this guy. He probably went AWOL and they sent some people out after him."

  "That doesn't make any sense," said Annie. "They came with trucks filled with zombies. That seems a little bit over dramatic, doesn't it? And what about what happened at the other towns? There's more to this."

  "It can't be a coincidence that this guy shows up in Juniper and then, suddenly, his brother shows up," said Clyde.

  "I agree," I said cautiously. "But we've got to examine all of it before we jump to any conclusions. What are the reasons they might've attacked Vineyard?"

  "And Juniper," said Annie. "And Hanger."

  "Right," I said as I walked around the table to retrieve a pad of paper to start writing down what we were talking about. "But let's focus on Vineyard for now. Why do we think they attacked?" I looked at Clyde and Annie, waiting for answers.

  "Shouldn't we get the others?" asked Annie.

  I shook my head. I wasn't sure whom I could trust anymore, and I wanted to get as much information as possible before including the other lieutenants. I knew that I could trust Zack, who was a lieutenant that had become one of my closest friends over the years, but he was always overprotective of me, and I didn't want to stoke his anger by revealing what Billy had started.