Unscripted

by Nicole Kronzer

  “Ellie,” Ben warned.

  “I’m going to talk him over,” I called. “Trust me.”

  “Yeah, if anyone can get Jakey down, it’s Ellie,” Xander said. Then he and Brandon started grunting again.

  Ben pretended to chuckle, and he folded his arms across his chest. I took his silence for permission.

  My arms continued to shake. Come on, come on, I berated myself. What’s it going to look like if you can’t get up there? It’ll just be another thing girls can’t do.

  “Zelda.” Ricky’s voice was calm. “You can do this.”

  I looked down at him. In improv, one of our mantras is “get out of your head.” You’re just supposed to trust your body, your instincts, and your partner. The same was true in climbing, so I set my jaw, emptied my mind, and pulled.

  Soon, I lost track of how many rungs I’d tackled. Now there were just three left.

  “Ellie’s coming to save you, Jakey-poo!” Brandon called.

  “Way to go, Zelda!” Murph hollered, his voice cracking a little with the effort.

  Two left.

  “You’ve got this, Zelda.” Jesse’s voice joined Murph’s.

  My heart thudded in my chest. I ignored my vibrating arms and legs and pulled myself onto the platform, my feet still on the final rung. Then, not too elegantly, I clambered to standing.

  “Yeah!” Jesse called.

  I looked down the thirty feet below to Ricky on the ground and met his eyes through his rain-spattered glasses. He nodded.

  The rain picked up.

  “Okay, Jake,” I said, turning my attention to him. “You can do this.”

  Poor guy. He was really trembling now. The rain was spitting in his eyes and he was blinking fast to keep it out . . . or maybe he was crying.

  “Jake?”

  He turned to me.

  “Just follow my voice. Jesse’s got you. The bridge is going to rock a little, but you’re perfectly safe. Just slide one foot. Then the other. Can you do that?”

  Jake nodded. He slid a foot forward.

  Everyone cheered. The only nonsarcastic cheering was coming from the Boy Scouts, but there was cheering nonetheless.

  “Ellie?” Ben’s voice called. I kept my eye contact with Jake. “It’s raining pretty hard. You and Jake need to come down.”

  Jake took another step.

  “Just a minute,” I called. I had to get him across. For both our sakes. “One minute more.” Then I dropped my voice so only Jake could hear it. “Do it, Jake,” I whispered. With the increase in rain came wind. I shivered and gripped the rope attached to my harness. “Show them you can do this.” That we can do this.

  He nodded. He took another step.

  “Guys,” Ben called, “it’s time for you to come down. Right now.”

  “It’s okay,” Jesse assured him. “It’s not lightning.”

  “You’re doing it!” I whispered, trying to ignore Ben. “Almost there, Jake!” I reached out for his hand.

  “I don’t care that it’s not lightning—I said COME DOWN!” Ben bellowed.

  Jake grabbed my hand, and I hauled him onto the platform with me, but the victorious moment was drowned out by Ben’s roar, “BRING. THEM. DOWN.”

  “Good job, Jake,” I whispered, pride filling my chest.

  He nodded. “Thanks.” He only met my eyes for a fraction of a second, but in that moment, I felt like we were on the same team.

  “Ricky? Ready to lower,” I called as Jesse called up to Jake.

  Soon, we were both drifting down to the earth. Ben’s imposing figure grew larger the closer I got to the ground. My bravery and pride and connection with Jake were gone—replaced by dread of the tongue-lashing Ben was barely keeping restrained.

  When I landed, Ben was there with a finger in my face. “When I say to do something, you do that thing. Understand? You don’t always know my reasons, and I don’t always owe you an explanation. Never. Second. Guess. Me. Again. Got it?”

  I nodded, furious, eyes on my shoes. He practically stomped away.

  Ricky fumbled with the figure-eight knot attached to my harness.

  “He’s mean,” he said in a low voice.

  I took off my helmet but didn’t respond, afraid if Ben saw my lips move, I’d draw his wrath again.

  We were quiet as Ricky rubbed his hands together to warm them up and get circulation in his fingertips. He tried the knot again. Nothing.

  I poked at it myself, but I was even colder and wetter than Ricky from being three stories up in the air.

  “What’s the holdup, Ellie?” Ben stormed back over.

  Murph and Jesse were on his heels.

  “I’ve got fresh hands,” Murph offered. He took Ricky’s place and tried to make sense of loosening the tight, wet knot.

  Then there was a flash of lightning.

  “Let’s go, let’s go!” Ben barked. “You want to get us killed?”

  The other guys were already scampering off back to our camp, their retreating forms following the road.

  “Our lodge is closer,” Jesse offered.

  My heart leapt a little.

  “No. Just cut her out,” Ben said, fists on his hips.

  “I’ve got it, I’ve got it.” Murph slipped the rope out of its confines.

  “Run back, Ellie,” Ben commanded. “We’ll return the harness later. I need to have a few words with their Scout Master.”

  I tried to flash thank you and apologies to the scouts with my eyes, but Ben snapped his fingers at me. “Now!”

  I turned and ran, hoping against hope Ben wouldn’t catch up with me.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Dripping wet all over the cabin floor, I slipped out of my tennis shoes and stripped off my socks, the harness, my yoga pants, hat, and long-sleeve shirt, leaving them in a pile. Shivering in my bra and underwear and trying to shake off the dread snaking around in my chest, I skittered across the floor and threw my towel over my shoulders, undressing the rest of the way. After struggling into flannel pants and a thermal long-underwear top, I climbed into my sleeping bag and wrapped the towel around my hair. Ben’s voice was shouting in my head.

  IT’S TIME FOR YOU TO COME DOWN. RIGHT NOW.

  Despite my warm pajamas, my fingers, toes, and nose were ice cubes. I shivered and rubbed my feet together to create warmth.

  Turning on my side and drawing my knees into my chest, I looked out at the rain through my window. It was coming down in sheets. The thunder boomed louder and lightning flashed longer than I’d ever witnessed.

  WHEN I SAY TO DO SOMETHING, YOU DO THAT THING. UNDERSTAND?

  I had made Ben angrier than I’d ever seen him. Was I wrong not to listen to him? I just thought I knew better—Jake was moving. Wasn’t it going to mean more to him in the long run that he could walk across the whole rope bridge than it would bother him to get a little wet?

  I blew warm air into my cupped hands.

  I DON’T CARE THAT IT’S NOT LIGHTNING—I SAID COME DOWN!

  Granted, it was pouring now, but it hadn’t been then. Did Ben just really know the mountains? Could he tell what the weather was about to do?

  But Ricky and Jesse and Murph also knew the mountains. They’d seemed cautious, but in the end, Ben had been right. The storm was worse than Jesse had thought it’d be.

  LET’S GO, LET’S GO! YOU WANT TO GET US KILLED?

  My nose dripped. I exhaled.

  I knew two things for sure: those Boy Scouts did not like my team, and they did not like Ben. Their comments jumbled together in my head.

  This is where the “team” part of team building usually comes in . . . I just . . . I wish he wouldn’t talk to you that way . . . When you call someone a girl, it’s quite the compliment . . .

  They were right to dislike my team, but they didn’t understand all the circumstances.

  Look, Ellie, it’s . . . weird without Marcus here . . . He had all the answers. Now I’m supposed to have them . . . I’m looking out for you. I am.

&nb
sp; Then suddenly all I could think about was the feeling of his warm fingers on the skin of my lower back.

  Ben was just being protective, right? He was scared because of the rain. I hadn’t listened when he’d told us to come down. Balance giving and taking. I’d have to talk to the Boy Scouts and help them understand . . .

  When I next opened my eyes, the rain had stopped, my towel had fallen on the floor, and my body felt warm again.

  The clock on the wall and my grumbling stomach both indicated that dinner was in fifteen minutes.

  I felt heavy as I changed clothes and folded a scarf into a triangle and knotted it over my hair. How would it be seeing Ben again? Or Jake? Would he be grateful? Embarrassed?

  Ben’s angry voice echoed in my skull as I skirted the mud puddles. Distracted, I bumped into an aspen tree and all the water that had been resting on its leaves poured down on me. I sighed and peeled off my now-soaking flannel shirt. Ben’s voice was replaced by Brandon’s and Xander’s voices, taunting me about a wet T-shirt contest.

  God, those jerks. The sun came out as I tied the shirt around my waist and adjusted my tank top straps. Maybe I should have listened to Ben when he told me to get off the ropes course, but he was still wrong for not shutting down the latest round of Brandon and Xander assholery. I imagined opening two giant, empty Nalgene water bottles and dropping Brandon and Xander inside each and screwing on the lids. Smiling, I marched toward the Main Lodge.

  As I climbed the steps, I wasn’t sure I was ready to face Ben. I stopped off on the porch to refill my water bottle and rehydrate, using it as an excuse to peer through the window.

  No sight of him. I exhaled relief.

  As I threw open the screen door, I spotted Hanna. Grinning, I trotted over to her, and she threw an arm over my shoulder.

  “And where did you get caught in the storm? Someplace cozy?” She smiled conspiratorially.

  “I wish. You?”

  “Just rehearsal, but we were working on characters. Emily and Jonas played squirrels frightened by their own tails.” She smirked and shook her head. “Their space work was outstanding. Then a guy on our team made me a lifeguard, and I fireman-carried everyone across the stage, including Dion.”

  I laughed. I wished I been there to see it.

  “I love character work,” she said, pulling out a chair at one of the tables. “Sometimes it’s nice to be someone else for a while.”

  Spontaneously, I grabbed her hand. “I like you. Who you are.”

  She chuckled, and we sat in the folding chairs. “From what I hear, you need that advice more than me, Zelda-girl.”

  I frowned. “What did you hear?”

  Hanna waved me away. “That Ben of yours—”

  Emily and Sirena flopped down across from us. “Ben of yours?” Emily mirrored my frown. “He’s yours?”

  “No!” I exclaimed. I felt like I was tripping over myself to get ahead of the explanation. “He—he spent all day yelling at me. He’s not mine. I mean, he’s beautiful, of course.” For a split second, I imagined him running his hand through his hair and grinning at me. I shook the image away. “But he’s my coach. My coach who never stands up for me. My coach who’s always yelling at me.”

  Sirena and Emily exchanged a look out of the corner of their eyes.

  “You guys,” I pleaded, thumping my head on the table. “He’s the worrrrrst.” I was lying a little, but there was no room for nuance here.

  “He does look at you a lot,” Sirena said, her eyes catching my gaze, inviting me to confide.

  “He’s my coach,” I repeated.

  “Sure, but he looks at you more than he looks at those other guys on your team. And you are very talented,” Sirena said. I opened my mouth to protest, but she cut me off with a hand. “You are. Sometimes I think about Agnes Ruffles and just start giggling out loud in public.” She sighed dramatically. “Thanks to you, people think I’m very weird now.”

  I chuckled.

  “And talent is attractive,” Sirena finished, shrugging.

  “Also, you’re not very ugly,” Hanna added, waggling her eyebrows at me. “Nothing major, anyway. No arms where your eyes should be, for instance.”

  Sirena and Emily smiled, but I shook my head. This part I felt more sure about. I might be thinking thoughts about Ben, but after what I did on the ropes course, there was no way he was interested in me like that. Had he ever been? He definitely wasn’t anymore. “Guys don’t like me like that,” I said. “I’m friends with guys. I wish I could show you my phone. My texts are all, ‘When’s rehearsal?’ and ‘Who was that actor we were all talking about?’ and ‘I’m having problems with my girlfriend. You’re the only one I can talk to.’ ”

  “Well, you’ve never-had-a-girlfriend-or-a-boyfriend-but-you-think-you’re-probably-straight, right?” Emily joked.

  “Unfortunately,” I said.

  “Then why don’t they like you back?” she demanded. “Look at you! You’re nice and funny and . . .” She blushed and sort of gestured at me.

  Hanna smiled. “Emily means you have nice boobs.”

  “I do not! I just meant pretty in general! You’re an overall pretty and nice and funny person!”

  I laughed.

  Sirena started unscrewing her water bottle. “Look. If you think guys aren’t going to like you, they won’t like you. You’ve got a lot going for you, Zelda. Know that. Be that girl.”

  I nodded. “Thanks. That’s sweet of you, Sirena.”

  She smiled and took a swig of water.

  “But don’t be that girl for Ben,” Hanna added, making a face at me.

  “Why not? I mean—I’m not,” I said, automatically searching for him among the tables.

  Emily and Sirena simultaneously gave me side-eye.

  “I’m not!” I exclaimed.

  “See—you do that leaning in thing and your boobs just—” Hanna made jazz hands.

  “I wear too many buttoned-up flannel shirts. That must be the thing keeping the boys away,” I joked.

  Paloma marched over and sat down with a thump. Three pencils fell out of her hair.

  “Are those all mine?” she marveled.

  We cracked up.

  “Who needs that many pencils?” Hanna cackled.

  “I don’t need three,” Paloma clarified, “I just keep tucking them in there and they get lost!” She shook her head. A fourth plunked on the table.

  We were goners.

  She chuckled good-naturedly as she gathered the pencils and tucked them into her back pocket. When we were down to the hiccuping portion of the laughter, she asked, “How was high ropes, Zelda?”

  I coughed and blew some air through my lips. “Weird. Bad. Yelly. It feels like everyone hates me.”

  She pushed my shoulder. “But you’re fighting, right? You’re doing this for us?”

  “Yeah,” I said, wrapping my arms around my torso, “I’m doing this for us.”

  I felt him behind me before I heard him.

  “Hey.”

  Ben. I took a deep breath and looked over my shoulder. “Hi.”

  Was he going to still be mad at me for not listening to him? Or would he apologize for yelling and then I’d apologize for not listening and then he’d apologize for not standing up for Jake and me?

  “Where did you go after high ropes?”

  At that moment, the dinner bell rang and the food was laid out at the buffet. Chairs scraped all around us. I stood up so we could hear each other, and he took my elbow and guided me a few feet away behind a pillar. Where did I go after high ropes? That’s what we were talking about?

  “I was wet.” I shrugged. “I went back to the cabin. Changed. Took a nap.”

  “You took a nap?” He put his fists back on his hips like he had at high ropes. “You missed rehearsal.”

  “I didn’t know.”

  “You didn’t ask.”

  “You told me to run back.”

  “To the Lodge.”

  “You didn’t say Lodge.�
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  “I didn’t say cabin, either.”

  “I was wet.”

  “So were we!”

  I gritted my teeth and imagined lasers shooting out of my eyeballs.

  “You need to make up that rehearsal.”

  I wrinkled my forehead. “When?”

  “Tonight. After dinner. Upstairs in Rehearsal Room B.”

  My mouth opened to protest. Someone grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I jerked a quick look behind me. Paloma was holding my hand. She and the other Gildas were piled up on the other side of the pillar, eavesdropping on our conversation. I bit my lips and exhaled through my nose, turning back to Ben. “See you then.”

  Ben spun away. I wanted to bury my face in my hands, but didn’t want to give him the satisfaction in case he looked back.

  The Gildas circled up.

  “He could have been nicer about that,” Emily said, and everyone nodded.

  “Where’s Will?” I asked.

  Paloma gave me a small smile. “He and Jonas were walking away from the Lodge when I came in. Picnic, maybe? They haven’t seen each other all afternoon.”

  I barked out a laugh. “That long, huh?”

  Hanna looped an arm around my shoulder. “Chin up, Zelda-girl. I know we’re poor stand-ins for a real-life best-friend-almost-twin.”

  I shook my head and smiled.

  “But we’re here for you.” Sirena squeezed my arm, and I looked around at the other Gildas, who nodded.

  A warm ball of strength glowed in my belly. The Gildas weren’t just my cabinmates anymore. They were my friends now. And I was theirs, too.

  I’d never been up to the second-floor rehearsal rooms—Varsity had always rehearsed on the stage in the main room of the Lodge. This, of course, must have been where JV and the skill-building teams practiced.

  I followed the hall to the right and found Rehearsal Room B. I tried the doorknob and it clicked open. The room was empty.

  When I flipped on the lights, they revealed a large room with high windows, a hardwood floor, and a mirrored wall with black velvet curtains pulled across it, except for the last few feet. A piano stood tall in the corner and several black rehearsal blocks looked leftover from a living room scene.

  Makeup rehearsal. I shook my head. If he had wanted me to go to the Lodge after high ropes, I wished he would have said something. I wandered to the piano and plonked on a few keys.