Sehra's Honor

by Kama Spice

  So far, it had been nothing but a painful reminder of all she’d lost. She picked her way across the pebbles, stepping lightly until her feet reached the edge of the river. There, she stood quietly as the gentle waves lapped at her toes.

  She looked across the water, wondering when it was, exactly, that she learned how little say she would have in her own life. How much of who she would become, who she would mate with and how she would use her abilities was already determined by those who held power in her life—elders, her parents, the pride, the lineage. There was no way out of it. She had heard stories of the Silver Lith’han who’d fled, and the hardships she’d endured during her travels. Whether the stories were based in conjecture or reality, Sehra would never know. But she’d heard the elders whisper about how lucky that Silver Lith’han was to have found a Leader King so smitten with her he was willing to take her back into the fold of the Lith’hah rather than throw her to the Council for proper punishment.

  The Leader King’s decision was still a controversial one among the prides, but he had the blessing of the Council. Sehra knew that would never have happened if the female was of a lower lineage…a lineage like Rawa’s for instance.

  The thought of him gave her goose bumps. She rubbed her arms briskly.

  “Cold, my love?”

  It was only three little words, spoken with the softness of river water sliding over pebbles. But they knocked the air out of Sehra’s lungs.

  She swung around to face the one and only male she’d ever longed to be near. The only male who’d made her believe a life of her own choosing might be possible—a life where she’d wake each morning with something to look forward to.

  “Rawa,” she breathed.

  He took two long strides until he was but a breath away. “Yes—it’s me,” he said, wrapping a blanket around her and running his fingers through her hair.

  He looked over his shoulder and led her into the woods. “Come, let us find somewhere private to speak.”

  She allowed him to steer her into the deep woods, but Sehra’s chest was tight with conflicting emotions.

  He skirted the edge of the river until they were far away from the gathering. Too far. If one of Sehra’s elders were to find out—or worse, one of her brothers… Her father had asked them to keep an eye on her as soon as she passed through her Awakening. “Consider them your own personal protectors,” he’d said. “They will ensure no scoundrel male will ever dishonor a den of Onyx lineage.”

  When Rawa slowed, Sehra pulled her hand away. “Why are you here?” she asked. Anger threaded her words.

  He looked at her but made no move to bridge the distance between them. He leaned against a tree and slowly swept his eyes along the curves of her body.

  Sehra’s limbs flooded with heat. She pulled the blanket tighter around her, closing the gap at her hips and turned away. But not before she caught the lazy smile turning up one corner of his mouth.

  “I am here for you,” he said simply.

  “That’s a lie.” Sehra’s words coiled around rods of fire. How dare he storm back into her life after abandoning her? After looking out for her, protecting her, allowing her to believe there could be more…? She raised herself taller. She would not allow that to happen again.

  She looked over her shoulder. “You’ve had many years to come back ‘for me’. I am not a young, pre-Awakened Lith’han anymore, Rawa. You can’t use your lies with me as you would any of the countless females you’ve no doubt been with.”

  His eyes glittered in amusement. “The nights with others have only fueled my hunger for you.” He allowed his eyes to travel the length of her body again.

  Sehra tensed with rage and turned her head away again. How many times had he used that line? She wanted to turn on her heel and walk away. But when he spoke again, there was a sadness in his tone that cooled her anger at once.

  “I would have come back to you the night after I left, my love.” His voice was like butter melting against the heat of her skin, but she kept her back to him. Kept her face turned to the trees. “I would have come back and never left your side. I left only because I had to. If I had stayed, there would have been no hope for us. You know how it is, Sehra.”

  The entire length of her body went on alert as his voice moved closer. Her pulse began to race as small puffs of his warm breath dusted the back of her neck.

  “As an Independent, I am slightly above the lineage I was born into,” he said quietly. “As a Copper, I would not be allowed anywhere near you by your father.”

  Sehra knew this was true. Her father was among the Lith’hah who had decided the ways of the Ancients were no longer applicable to modern Lith’hah life. He and others like him no longer allowed their cubs to find their own mates through the primitive, instinctual desire that signaled a mating. These Lith’hah fancied themselves forward-thinking. Progressive. Sehra’s stomach churned at the thought.

  Rawa’s hands slid from her shoulders to her wrists and back as she clutched the blanket around her.

  Her heart pounded furiously against her chest and she wondered how anyone could survive a long-standing, desperate desire—such as hers for Rawa—that had gone unfulfilled then was suddenly coming to fruition. She was sure her heart would cease functioning abruptly from the speed at which blood was pumping through it.

  “Coppers, Reds, Yellows, Agates…those of us with physical gifts—the gift to heal quickly, the gift to move objects without touching them, or the gift to heal the bodies of others…we are expected to mingle among our own in the eyes of many, Sehra. You are among the higher lineages in those Lith’hah’s opinions, Sehra. You are an Onyx and your gift gives you insight into the unseen. That puts you among the likes of Silvers and Golds, Emeralds and Rubies—Lith’hah who have gifts of the spirit and of the mind—those who replace thoughts in others’ heads, those who see events before they occur, and like you, those who communicate with the ancestors. Your father holds these views.”

  She swallowed hard. Her throat felt as if it were coated with fine grains of sand. “So, you were afraid of my father?”

  He chuckled, a warm, hearty sound from deep within that instantly reminded her of the young Lith’han she’d been so enraptured with. He tightened his grip on her shoulders. “No. Not just yours. I could not tolerate the presence of my own father any longer.”

  “And what about me?” The question tore out of her throat. “I searched for you! I asked about you…I waited for you.” Her voice cracked on the last word. She drew in a deep breath but said no more.

  Rawa wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back against his chest. Her breath caught in her throat. He turned her face around gently. “I thought you deserved better,” he said quietly. “I wanted you to have the best your lineage could provide…and spare you the shame of being with someone like me.”

  His breath was hot against her cheek. The smell of desire hung thick in the air around them. This was not a trance. It was actually him—her Rawa. His eyes reflected pain and longing and regret. His voice was full…earnest.

  Sehra felt as if a fist had tightened around her heart as any remaining anger and doubt drained away. “I waited and waited for you,” she whispered.

  The scent of his need engulfed her. He spun her around and yanked the blanket from her hands, tossing it aside.

  Sehra stood before him, trembling with need, wanting nothing more than to come apart in his hands.

  He clenched fistfuls of her hair and pulled her toward him, crushing her mouth in a savage kiss. She felt the slow roll of a growl moving through his chest.

  Sehra drank him in, her tongue exploring the warm crevices of his mouth. She ran her tongue along his teeth and moaned deep in her throat as he grabbed her tongue with his lips and sucked it.

  When he pulled away, his voice was gruff. “Just to be certain—you are without a mate?”

  She smiled, her words punctuated with pants for breath. “It’s a bit late to ask that, isn’t it?”

 
; He growled, pulling her closer and sliding his hands down her back to cup her buttocks. “Answer the question.”

  She felt the heat of his cock as it pressed against her, making her lose her train of thought. Her arms were pinned against her sides as he kneaded the flesh of her buttocks. His cock seemed to harden by the second and Sehra could barely form a coherent sentence.

  “Yes,” she panted. “I am without a mate.”

  “You’ve bonded with others?” he asked, moving one hand around to cup her breast. He began tweaking a nipple.

  Sehra reached up with her now-free arm and gripped his shoulder. She was sure she would be a puddle on the ground if he wasn’t holding her up. Her clit throbbed, swelling into the folds of her labia.

  “Yes,” she said. Her voice was heavy with need. “You are the only male I’ve ever wanted, Rawa.”

  He lifted her and walked to a large beech tree, pressing her back against the smooth bark.

  She wrapped her legs around his waist, feeling the full length of his shaft settle against her warm, wet pussy. She tightened her legs around him and slid her clit up along the smooth, soft skin of his cock and back down.

  He tensed against her and nipped at her neck. “Easy,” he said softly. His voice was taut as he pulled away from her. “Keep that up and this’ll be over in two seconds.”

  “I need you desperately, Rawa,” she whispered, pulling him back toward her, her pussy aching for his warmth, his hard cock against the soft, moist petals of her wima.

  Rawa grabbed her buttocks, lifting her again, and walked to a part of the tree where two thick branches forked off into a cradle only a few feet off the ground. He placed her gently at the center and knelt before her.

  She drew a sharp breath as he lowered his head. He nuzzled the very tip of her slit, breathing in her scent. He glanced up and saw her eyelashes flutter. He closed his eyes for a second, willing his pulse to slow down. Then he pulled her knees up and slowly spread them apart. Her wima flowered open, caramels and violets and pinks coated with the glistening honey of her need.

  He looked up into her eyes. “You’re exquisite.” He looked back down and clenched his jaw as he struggled to rein in the raw lust coursing through his limbs. His cock bobbed, heavy and taut—a several-ton beast raging to tear into the sweetness that beckoned from Sehra’s center. His voice was harsh. “Be still.”

  Her eyes grew round. “How can you ask that? I can’t…”

  “Be still,” he said again, this time with a sharp edge to his voice. “I’ve wanted this for a long time, Sehra. I’ll not cheat us both by having it end quickly.”

  She bit her bottom lip and nodded. He almost came undone at the hunger and desperation in her eyes—a desperation that zeroed in on him. He had wanted to see that look in Sehra’s eyes for years. Had waited in agony for it. For the day he could inhale her, lap at her juices and probe her deepest heat.

  The urge to take her in one quick gulp was overwhelming, but he would not let it get the best of him. He would not cheat her as he had before. He would never abandon her again.

  “You are every bit as beautiful as I’ve imagined,” he said. He held her quivering thighs apart.

  “Rawa, touch me…” she pleaded. He saw the effort it was taking for her to be still and was moved by the power of her desire and the strength of her will.

  His cock pulsed, burning with hunger to devour what lay before him, open and willing. But he took his time. He wanted to memorize every fold, every sweet arch and peak. He felt her tremble in his hands and held her more firmly, spreading her legs wider. Then he bent down to lick the crease where first one thigh met outer labia then the other.

  Her soft moans sent painful currents throughout his body, tightening every muscle in an effort to control his urges. But he continued a slow, deliberate exploration. He traced the wet folds of her pussy with the tip of his tongue as more honey dripped out of her slick channel.

  She let out a strangled half gasp. “Please, Rawa…”

  He looked up into her flushed face. Her eyes were heavy-lidded and black-and-tan hair fell in waves across her shoulders, fanning across the tight, puckered buds of her nipples as she leaned against the tree. She was a stunning sight to behold.

  The smell of her yearning filled his lungs. He knew he couldn’t hold out much longer. His cock was hard as marble and he wanted to feel her heat close in around it. He slid her off the branch and laid her down on the leaves, covering her body with his.

  Immediately, her arms snaked around his neck. “I want to feel you inside me, Rawa,” she breathed.

  Hearing those words fall from her full lips—lips that had haunted his dreams for years—just about drove him to ramming into her like a cat in blind heat. But by the power of the Ancients, he held on.

  He willed his heart rate to slow as he brought his mouth down, hard, on hers. He positioned himself at the entrance of her wima but didn’t slide in. He took one of her nipples into his mouth and sucked gently before allowing it to slip out of his mouth.

  She groaned and arched her body against his.

  It killed him to do it, but he pulled back to look into her eyes. “Do you truly want this?” He struggled to control his voice. “With all of your being?”

  Her eyes narrowed and she moved her hands down his back, digging her nails into the hard flesh of his buttocks. “I want this and everything else,” she said through gritted teeth.

  Hard lust coursed through his limbs as he threw his head back and sank deep into her.

  His senses were telling him she was fully present, she wanted him as urgently as he wanted her, but he should have taken the time to make absolutely certain she was willing to commit to him. But he could barely remember his own name right now. He was lost inside her, completely and without recourse.

  Chapter Two

  Sehra stretched out and nuzzled closer to Rawa’s long and lean body. His chestnut, copper-streaked hair was pushed back from his face as he dozed quietly. Poor sweet, she thought, he must be so travel-weary! Her heart tightened. He was so different from the Rawa who’d left, and yet he was as familiar to her as her own breath.

  She dropped light kisses on his closed eyelids and traced the outline of his full lips.

  Rawa stirred and pulled her close, burying his face in her neck. “Restless, my love?”

  Sehra loved it when he called her that. My love. She could live inside those words for the rest of her many years as a Lith’han.

  “I must return,” she said softly. “My guardians and elders will begin to wonder about my whereabouts.”

  He pulled back to look at her but kept his hands where they were. “You are old enough to enjoy the solstice celebrations on your own, no?”

  She nodded, distinctly aware of the heat from his large, rough hands on her smooth, soft skin. “I am.” She stopped to chew on her bottom lip. “But my father…he has ideas for me. He has plans…” She saw Rawa’s jaw clench and trailed off. He knew her father, the lieutenant.

  “Yes,” he said slowly. “He was always an ambitious man.” He tilted her chin up and looked into her eyes. “And what does he have planned for you?”

  Sehra swallowed hard, fighting the wave of desperation that always loomed near when this topic was at hand. She steadied her voice and spoke calmly. “Father is only looking out for my best interests. He wants me to be happy.”

  Rawa’s eyes narrowed into slits. “And that means…?”

  She looked away, unable to meet his hard, insistent gaze. “He has decided I should mate with Kelum, a Lith’han from a pride near the eastern border. He…” Her throat tightened, making the next few words almost impossible to utter. “Father has decided I must make a True Mate vow to Kelum.”

  Rawa was up in a flash, leaving her feeling cold and exposed.

  “He has decided you must make a True Mate vow?” he roared. “No one can decide that for anyone! A True Mate vow comes from deep within, from the Ancients—it is a sacred vow and gift!”

&n
bsp; Sehra stood, fists at her side. “That’s what a True Mate vow is supposed to be,” she said, her voice belying the roiling emotions in her belly. “You know that’s not how it works anymore, Rawa. These days, True Mate vow unions are political tools—strategic pairings that increase one pride’s influence through union with another.”

  “And you are in agreement with this? It’s what you want?” he asked, staring at her. His eyes were shimmering with disappointment.

  Sehra felt raw. His questions were like accusations, stinging like her father’s slaps when she was a young cub. “How dare you ask me what I want now,” she said. Her voice trembled with rage. “You didn’t bother to ask me what I wanted before you left. You didn’t bother to ask me what I’ve wanted all these years. You’ve been nowhere even remotely close to my life. And now you storm back, throwing everything up in the air? You have no say, Rawa.”

  He took one long stride toward her and grabbed her upper arms, pinning them to her sides and pulling her roughly toward him. “I have every say,” he said quietly. “Let’s make one thing perfectly clear. I did not leave you, Sehra. When I left, I left the toxin of our pride. The poison was seeping into me and it has surrounded you and your den now.” He searched her face. “Don’t you see it?”

  She gritted her teeth. “Our pride has its problems, yes. But…I agreed to it, Rawa.”

  He looked as if she had just struck him. He let go of her and stepped back. “You agreed?”

  Fury ignited within her. “Yes. I agreed because I knew after you left that I would never make the vow! When you left, a part of me left with you. I did the things that all female Lith’hah are expected to do, but I was not alive, Rawa. And yet, still, somewhere in the midst of all that pain and disappointment, I decided to live. To keep going on—it was as if you had died and I was learning to move forward. Which I have.” She paused, her chest heaving with the emotion that threatened to crush her. “And now—this.”

  He stared at her in the silence that followed.