“That was me fighting my lust for Aaron. I wanted to kiss him.”
“Have you ever kissed Aaron?”
“No.”
“Avery, do you ever see a time where you may give into your temptation?”
“Honestly, I can’t answer that.”
“That’s not much of an answer.”
“It’s all I have to give.”
“Who would you choose, Aaron or me?”
“You, Shawna. Only you.”
Shawna’s face turned somber as she wiped a stray tear from her eye. “I’m sorry, Avery, but that is not good enough. I need more.”
“What do you need? I can give you whatever you desire.”
“I need a man who is devoted to me in his heart and mind. A man who doesn’t have any hidden desires for another and right now, Avery, you aren’t that man.”
“What are you saying, Shawna?”
Shawna paused at the threshold, but did not look back at Avery. “I’m saying that it’s over, Avery.”
Once Shawna closed the door, Avery slumped in his chair and wept.
Chapter Six: Bitter Sweet Memories
Her mother waved them in front of her like it was some grand prize. Katrina moaned and took the bag her mother was offering. The white paper bag with the oversized gold CL letters filled Katrina with dread. It could only mean one thing. Her mother had just returned from Collins-Leonard pharmacy with her new prescription.
“Why do I get the feeling that you’re less than enthusiastic about these new meds?” Martina teased as she handed Katrina a glass of water.
“I have no reason to be excited about new meds, Mom. These are just another excuse for Doctor Browne to use me as a guinea pig.”
“Katrina, she would never use you like that. She is just trying to find a way to help with the nightmares.”
“I don’t think there’s any help for the nightmares. What those two thugs did to me and to Aaron...they almost raped me, and killed him.”
Tears burned Katrina’s eyes, but she refused to let them fall. She had done enough crying since she and Aaron were released from hospital, six weeks prior.
Her mother pulled Katrina into an embrace. “I could never imagine the horror you’ve been through, but do know that I’m still here to help you.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Now please do your old mother a favor and take your medication. I know they’ll make you feel better.”
Katrina popped three of the pills in her mouth and took a sip of water.
“Good girl. I better get started on dinner.”
“Do you want any help?”
“Nah, I’ll be fine. You just sit there and finish reading your book.”
Once her mother was out of sight, Katrina slipped into the bathroom and spit the pills into the toilet.
After a pleasant meal and evening with Katrina, Martina settled into bed and hugged Aaron’s empty pillow. Her husband had left on a three-week European tour to promote the upcoming season of Let There Be Blood and she badly missed him.
They had just finished an hour-long chat on Skype, and though it was wonderful for Martina to see his face, it wasn’t the same as having him next to her.
Martina was about to drift off to sleep when something caught her attention. Something was protruding from the bottom dresser drawer. Curious, Martina pulled it out, and for a moment she was drawn back in time.
It was a photo of her and Katrina’s father, Brad, on their wedding day. It was a time when the world was at their feet and they believed that their love would last forever. How naïve Martina was then. She remembered being a shy nineteen-year-old girl, thinking of their lifetime together.
Katrina was barely a toddler when a loose screw shattered their world.
Brad was working as a laborer on a high rise development. A screw on a piece of scaffolding worked loose and sent Brad and two others plummeting to the ground below, killing them instantly.
In those years of intense loneliness and grief, through the good and the bad, Martina only wanted one person by her side, Aaron. It had broken her heart to have lost contact with her best friend the moment they graduated high school. She had tried to reconnect with Aaron many times, with no success. Martina was hurt that Aaron had refused to keep in contact with her after so many years of friendship, but she understood why. What happened to him was a tragedy, and he needed to disappear to cope and maybe forget.
Then came the day when Martina discovered what her friend had been doing since they parted.
Katrina was snuggled on the couch and watching her favorite show, when a familiar face appeared on screen, taking her breath. The actor was lean and muscular. His hair was shorter, but still had the same golden hue, and his eyes were still penetrating emeralds. Martina felt dizzy and sat down to steady herself. She knew it was him, but to make sure she asked her daughter the actor’s name.
“That is Aaron Brooks, Mom. Geez, don’t you know anything?”
“He’s nice looking.”
“Nice looking? Looks like someone needs glasses. Aaron Brooks is more than just ‘nice looking’ he is an outright hottie! Did you know that he won the sexiest man alive award this year?”
“No, I didn’t.”
As Katrina rambled on about her favorite actor and how every girl in her school was crushing on him, Martina wondered where life would take them next.
Chapter Seven: Unexpected Passion, Unexpected Love
It had been three months since Katrina’s attack, and Aaron was very pleased with her progress. Her nightmares had died away, her memories of that night fading. In fact, she’d resettled quite nicely with her classmates at college, and was excelling in her classes.
Martina was busy with another novel and Aaron was busy with filming, but they talked to Katrina every day, and all seemed well. Aaron couldn’t wait for Katrina to come home for spring break so he could show her off at the set once again, this time as his daughter. He had big plans for her.
Aaron smiled affectionately at her picture while he waited to be called back from his dressing room. A year ago he would never have guessed that he would be a husband and a father. Those roles suited him much better.
“Aaron, it’s time to go back,” Avery said through the door.
Putting away the picture, Aaron greeted Avery. Something was terribly wrong with his best friend. He looked the same; Avery’s hair was still fashionably disheveled, and his skin golden, but there was sadness in his sky blue eyes.
“Hey, what’s the matter?”
“Nothing man, I’m fine.” Avery sounded morose. He continued to walk ahead of Aaron.
A couple of strides and Aaron easily caught up with his co-star. “No, you’re not. Now, please tell me what’s going on. I’m your friend, and I want to help you.”
“Fine. If you must know, Shawna broke up with me last night.”
“Oh my God, Avery. I’m so sorry. May I ask why?”
The producer yelled, “Avery! Aaron! Get your asses over here now! We’re ready to roll.”
“Coming, James! Listen, Aaron, can we talk about this later?”
“Of course, why don’t you come over tonight? I’ll cook you some dinner and we can chill with some brews. Martina will be busy all evening with her editor, so the house will be empty and we can talk in private.”
“Okay, sounds good. What time?”
“Come over right after we’re done here.”
Aaron handed Avery another beer as they sat on the terrace and watched the sunset.
“Los Angeles has to have the most beautiful sunsets in the world,” Avery commented. He brought the cold brew to his lips and took a healthy swallow.
“I agree, so colorful.” A sunset filled with dark hues, the sky so red that it almost looked like blood.
They remained silent for a few moments before Aaron released the question that had been burning on his lips all day.
“We could sit here and admire the beauty of nature or are you going to tell
me why you and Shawna broke up?”
“You certainly don’t skate around the issue, do you?” Avery continued to stare out into nothing.
“No, because it achieves nothing. Besides, Avery, we’ve been best friends for seven years. You know you can share anything with me.”
“I know. It’s just so hard to comprehend why a girl who claimed she loved me could turn around and say that she no longer sees me in her future.” He pressed the beer to his forehead. “Shawna told me she couldn't be with someone who couldn't commit.”
“Why would Shawna say that?”
“She claims that since I have feelings for you, I will never be able to faithful to her.”
“Didn't you tell her that we aren't involved and never will be?”
“Of course, but she doesn't believe me. Shawna feels that it will be only a matter of time before I give in to the temptation.”
“Then we work together to make sure that you don't.”
When Aaron reached over and laid his hand over Avery's, the small intimate gesture nearly weakened his resolve.
It pained Aaron to see Avery in such distress. He just wished there was some way he could take Avery’s pain away from him. He used the only weapon he had: humor. “I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s not like there aren’t plenty of gals to choose from, even if it’s just a one-night stand.”
“I don’t believe in one-night stands, Aaron, and I can’t imagine myself doing that anymore. Can you?”
“No, I’m a happily married man, remember? But you have to admit, they were fun.”
“Fun during, but not so fun after when the woman’s picking out wedding patterns the following morning!” Avery chuckled.
“I hear ya! At least most of the women we took home after a night of partying knew it would be a one-night stand.” Aaron took another sip of beer before continuing. “Oh, the ones who thought that fucking them meant you wanted to marry them. Oh Christ, I hated those ‘letting them down gently’ conversations. I’m just grateful that none of the women retaliated.”
“We did have some close calls, though. I lost count of how many expensive gifts I had to bribe with to get them to keep their big mouths shut. But it was worth it to keep our careers and reputations intact.”
“What we have to do to keep our fans happy.” Aaron handed Avery another beer.
“Yes, but it’s all worth it. We’re doing what we love, bringing joy to a sad and lonely world.”
“Cheers to that!” Aaron and Avery clinked bottles and enjoyed their time together. By the time Aaron and Avery polished off their second case of beer, they were both buzzed and feeling no pain.
Avery stood at the rail and looked down at the city below him, his hurt and anger numbed by the alcohol. He looked up from the spectacular view and stared at his friend.
Aaron remained stoic, as if lost in thought, staring straight into the horizon. Avery could almost see the thoughts running around in his head. Avery was aware of the many women and some men that got drunk with desire when Aaron walked into the room. It was the same reaction he received.
He studied his co-star and watched his flaxen hair blow gently in the breeze. His broad shoulders rose and fell with his breathing. Moonlight bathed his chiseled profile. Whether it was the grief, the booze, or a combination of both influencing him, suddenly all he wanted was to have those lips on his. He longed to have that sculpted body on his, pumping his generous member deep inside.
The last time he had such an intense desire for Aaron was when he’d tackled and pinned him to the ground during a game of touch football. He was astride his best friend, their gazes held for the briefest of moments. All at once, his stomach gave a twinge and the blood rushed to the head of his cock. An overwhelming desire to kiss his best friend seized him. It had taken all his willpower not to give in, then.
He couldn’t fight the desire anymore and rushed at Aaron, pulling him to his chest and seized his mouth with a greedy kiss. Aaron struggled against the shock of Avery’s kisses and hungry caresses. In the middle of Avery’s assault, Aaron found a way to push his friend off him.
“Hey man, what in fuck do you think you’re doing?” Aaron wiped Avery’s kiss off his lips.
“What does it look like? I was kissing you, is that so wrong?”
“It’s wrong if the person you’re kissing is married and not gay.”
Avery took a step back and glared at his co-star. “I’m not gay and I know you’re not gay. Don’t try to pretend. You and I love both pussy and cock, admit it.”
Aaron flinched. “I’ve never had cock, so how do I know whether or not I like it as much as pussy?”
A sarcastic guffaw burst out of Avery. “You’ve got to be kidding, you liar. Have you forgotten about that dominant/submissive relationship you had with your college roommate, Stefan?”
Aaron suppressed a groan. It was an experience that he enjoyed, but now regretted having told Avery, but it was useless to deny the pleasantness of the experience. “No, of course not. It was very educational. Stefan taught me so much about lovemaking. I’ll always be grateful to him.”
Aaron tensed when Avery reached out and crushed him to his chest, and cupped his cheek. Avery’s lapis lazuli gaze bore into Aaron, daring him to object. The older actor’s mouth caressed Aaron’s and nibbled on his lower lip, teasing him.
He glided his tongue along Aaron’s teeth in a silent request for his fantasy lover to open his mouth. When Aaron complied, Avery plunged in his tongue. The young flaxen-haired man melted into his friend’s embrace, his earlier objections forgotten.
“Aaron, do you want me to stop?” Avery murmured against his mouth.
“No.” Without further encouragement, Avery pushed Aaron on to the lounger, their passions uniting under the full moon.
When Aaron woke the next morning, Avery had disappeared from his side. Still nude, Aaron searched the empty house for his lover, but instead he found a note in the kitchen.
Aaron, I’m so sorry for doing this to you, but though last night was amazing, it was a mistake and must never be repeated. It must be considered a one night stand and nothing more. I love you, Aaron, but as a friend, and the attraction was a product of booze and grief. You’re a happily married man, deeply in love with an amazing woman and have a family, a home with her. I’m still in love with Shawna, and I’m going over to her place to see if she will take me back; she is just too precious to give up. We’re friends and have an unbreakable bond that I don’t want to screw up with sex or possible fantasies of something romantic. Something that can never be. I hope you and I can get past this and continue being friends. I’ll contact you as soon as I can so we can talk. Avery.
Aaron stood holding the note, frozen. He didn’t know what to think, or what to feel. Last night had had such an innocent start: two buddies talking and drinking while Avery grieved over his breakup. It meant the world to him, to experience the raw passion that only another man could provide. Now, Aaron Brooks was reduced to nothing but a one night stand; used as an outlet to fuck away his best friend’s grief.
The unexpected ringing of her doorbell startled Shawna out of a deep sleep. She glanced at the clock. It was 2:00 a.m.
Shawna groaned, slipped on her robe, and ran down to stop the door’s incessant chime. She was shocked to see Avery standing in her doorway, holding a dozen purple lilies. His sky blue eyes stared at her, desperate.
“Avery? What brings you here at this hour?”
“Shawna, would you please let me in? We need to talk.”
Avery’s eyes never left hers. Her ex’s distress was palpable.
“Of course, Avery, come in.”
Shawna accepted her favorite flowers from Avery and led him into the living room, motioning for him to sit down.
“I’m going to put these in some water. Do you want something to drink?”
“No thank you.”
Shawna’s concern for her former lover increased when Avery flopped down on the couch and stared off into sp
ace. She placed the vase of flowers on a table then sat next to Avery.
“Avery, please tell me what you want to talk about. You don’t look well.”
“I’m not well, Shawna. I did something horrible tonight.”
“What did you do?”
“I gave in to temptation.”
It had taken a few moments for Shawna to understand what Avery meant. She took a deep breath to swallow the bile of disgust that had crept up her throat.
“Oh God Avery...no.”
Wiping her tears with the back of her hand, Shawna struggled to control her shaking. “Get out, Avery! Get out now.”
Avery refused to move. He dropped to his knees in front of her and sobbed into her lap.
“Please, Shawna, don’t force me out of your life! You’re the only one that I love, the only person I can count on. Don’t send me away!”
“Avery you’ve dropped a lot onto my lap. I have a lot to digest and process, but I can’t do it right now. I’m too overwhelmed. I don’t know if I’ll be able to forgive you for what you’ve done, but I need some time.”
Avery stood up, straightened his clothes. He ran his fingers through his disheveled hair and looked at her with swollen eyes. His voice was cold.
“I’ve reduced my dignity to tatters in order to plead for your forgiveness, Shawna Jones. But, I understand, and I’ll give you that time.” Shawna shivered at his stony expression. He pushed further. “I just want you to remember this. I’ve been by your side through the good, the bad, and the very ugly. There are things that I know you’ve done that no one else knows. Things that, if they got out, would ruin you.”
“There is nothing you know about me that could ruin me. You’re hurt, and this is your way of retaliating.”
“Oh, I do love you, Shawna. That’s why I’ll keep your secret... if you stay with me. If you choose to leave, then I’d have no problem letting the media know that you used to be a heroin-addicted whore.”
Shawna blanched. “That was in the past, Avery. I’ve come a long way. Even if you betrayed me by going to the media with this so called news, it would improve my image, not destroy it.”
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