The Lightning-Struck Heart

by T. J. Klune

  Tiggy startled everyone by running as fast as he could, not stopping until he stood next to Gary, who looked slightly alarmed. He turned back toward me and said, “That fast, Sam?”

  Everyone looked back at me.

  “Yes, Tiggy,” I said, barely resisting the urge to bury my face in my hands. “That was fast.”

  “I fast,” Tiggy said. “Sam said fast and I fast. I don’t get fun, but I fast.”

  “Sam wouldn’t know what fun meant if it jerked off on his face,” Gary said.

  I groaned because did he have to say it so everyone could hear?

  The announcer switched to his next card.

  “I will literally give you anything if you don’t read that,” I pleaded with him.

  “Can’t help you,” he said, shrugging in apology. “Gary already threatened me with Unicorn Rage.”

  “That devious bastard,” I said, trying not to be impressed. “That works on everyone. You know, I’m really starting to regret that I can’t sweat angry glitter.”

  The announcer shrugged. “Yeah, it can be intimidating. Sorry about this, Sam.”

  “Go ahead,” I said, waving my hand at him. There was really nothing else I could do.

  Gary smiled evilly at me.

  “Ladies and gentlemen,” the announcer called. “It is with great honor that I present to you a man loved and treasured for his wit and charity, but maybe not for the way he dresses himself. He looks respectable right now because of Gary. If it weren’t for Gary, he would look like a homeless ruffian whom you would think was probably out to steal your wallet. So, thank you, Gary, for the specimen you see before us. We are all in your debt. Sam is currently single and any and all inquiries for a good roll in the hay can be made attention to Gary and Tiggy. Sam likes magic and long walks in the forest. For some reason, he likes ears that stick out. He also likes… seriously? Gary, come on! Oh for the love of—He also likes butts, so please have a nice one. Feel free to attach an etching of your butt so that we may review it for quality. I give you the wizard… Sam of Wilds.”

  “Apprentice!” Gary yelled. “It says wizard apprentice. Gods. Good help is so hard to find these days.”

  “They just tried to pimp me out,” I said, sounding completely awed. “Why does that always happen in this room?”

  “Remember,” Randall murmured from behind me, “I get ninety percent of all your take. Don’t make me slap you. You Randall’s girl, now.”

  “Oh my gods,” I moaned. “Please let this be a nightmare.”

  But it wasn’t, and after Morgan shoved me in a not-so-gentle fashion, I walked down the aisle. Tiggy kept waving at me as I approached and Gary smirked at me even as I wondered what it would be like to shove my boot up his ass. I was about halfway down the aisle when I spotted someone who I hadn’t even expected to be here.

  She stood next to the aisle, her dress expensive and perfect as always. She cooled herself with her exotic folding fan, the handle clearly inlaid with gold.

  And she was glaring at me as I approached, even though she technically didn’t know me.

  Well. Not this me.

  Even with all that I’d faced, dragons and Darks and cultists and fire geckos, she was still my most mortal of enemies.

  And today was her victory day.

  The president of the Ryan Foxheart Fan Club Castle Lockes Chapter.

  Lady Tina DeSilva.

  My fluttering heart hardened in my chest.

  I wasn’t in control of how this day would end.

  I was losing the one thing I wanted.

  But this. I could control this.

  I curled a nasty smile at her.

  Then I realized I wasn’t dressed as Mervin, and her eyes widened as I looked positively murderous.

  And I found I didn’t care.

  I wouldn’t be going back to the damn meetings.

  I was no longer a Foxy Lady.

  From here on out, I was a SamGirl4Life.

  I paused briefly when I passed her.

  She scoffed prettily.

  I dropped my voice to Mervin-like levels and murmured, “My muffins were never dry, you abhorrent wench.”

  I winked at her.

  Her breath hitched.

  Her eyes widened.

  She hissed, “You.”

  “You’ll never prove it,” I snapped quietly at her and continued on.

  I felt better. Getting the last word to a sixteen-year-old girl can do that to you.

  “Do I even want to know why a little teeny-bop looks like she wants to eat your flesh?” Gary asked when I reached the front.

  “We’re enemies,” I said. “Mortal enemies.”

  “Of course you are, kitten. Only you would be mortal enemies with a teenage girl.”

  “Don’t let her looks fool you. Her countenance hides nothing but evil.”

  “I wonder at you, sometimes.”

  “You’re in so much shit,” I growled.

  “Worth it.”

  “What are you guys whispering about?” Kevin asked. “Is it secrets? I love secrets.” I looked over my shoulder to see his head shoved through the Great Door, chin resting on the floor.

  “Tell you later,” I said.

  “You better,” he said. “I wouldn’t want to have to spank you, son.”

  “Boo,” Gary said. “Stop hitting on our baby boy.”

  Everyone was staring again.

  “Not my parents,” I said for all to hear. “My mom and dad are right there.”

  Mom and Dad stood and waved.

  “We’re the parents of his heart,” Kevin said.

  “Shut up,” I said. “No, you’re not. And that doesn’t even make sense. Stop making it weird and gross.”

  “Don’t talk to your father that way,” Gary said. “You’re grounded.”

  “Can we please move this along?” I asked. “Seriously.”

  “He’s got his serious face,” Mom called to the announcer. “He’s serious.”

  Morgan and Randall were presented without fanfare, and then I pretty much forgot everything else that existed because Ryan entered the throne room.

  To say he looked handsome would be an understatement.

  It wasn’t as if I’d never seen him in his full knight gear before. I had. Several times. But maybe it was because today was important, that it was so monumental that it just felt different. Of course, since it was Ryan Foxheart, I wouldn’t be surprised if the gods themselves were shining down upon his broad shoulders because everything about him shone. His armor, his shield, the scabbard at his side, his skin, his hair (seriously, what the fuck? How did he have shiny hair?). Everything.

  And I couldn’t take my eyes off of him.

  But that was okay.

  Because he couldn’t take his eyes off of me.

  Not once did he look away through that long walk down the aisle.

  Not once did I avert my eyes for any step he took.

  For a moment, I allowed myself to imagine he was walking toward me. That it was my wedding day and he was shining just for me.

  It was a good dream. A frivolous dream.

  I swallowed past the lump in my throat, trying to control my breathing.

  It almost worked.

  He reached the throne. Mere feet away.

  He stood, facing me.

  I was over him. I was done with this.

  I wanted to beg him to stop this.

  I wanted to never see him again.

  I wanted to wake up every morning with him curled around me.

  And then the King and Justin were announced.

  The King looked resplendent, his robes accentuating his powerful frame, burgundy and gold, the edges trailing behind him on the floor. He was smiling quietly at his subjects, but there was something else in his eyes that I couldn’t quite make out. He moved more stiffly than I’d ever seen him before.

  Justin. Well. Justin on the other hand, looked regal and amazing as always. Perfect hair, perfect smile, perfect everything.
Even if he was wearing—

  “Is that bitch wearing white?” Gary hissed in my ear. “Who does he think he’s fooling? There is nothing pure and virginal about him. Even his boots are white. Oh my gods. The travesty. The tabloids are going to have a field day with this. Who wore it better? Prince Justin or this homeless hooker.”

  I coughed, trying to cover up the hysterical laughter. I didn’t want to draw any more attention to myself than already had been. It wasn’t my day and I knew Justin had the power to make my life a living hell, more so than he’d already done. But Gary was right. Justin was not pulling off the blushing groom he was trying to portray.

  This was confirmed when I saw Tina practically swoon as he walked by on the King’s arm. Since I knew Tina absolutely had no taste whatsoever, I felt remarkably relieved.

  “Ryan,” Gary whispered. “Shouldn’t you be looking at your future husband walking down the aisle rather than staring at Sam like an asshole?”

  Ryan flinched and blushed. His eyes darted toward Justin and the King, and he swallowed with an audible click in his throat.

  “That’s better,” Gary murmured. “Wouldn’t want you to miss any part of the best day of your life.”

  “Oh snap,” Tiggy said.

  “Oh snap indeed,” Randall muttered.

  Morgan just sighed and I knew he was regretting all of his life choices.

  I smiled softly at the King when they reached the throne. Justin ignored me completely, a determined look on his face. He stood near me, facing toward Ryan. Ryan paled slightly as Justin reached out for his hand. He glanced at me again. I kept my face blank.

  The King turned toward his subjects. “I’ll keep this brief as today isn’t about me. Today is about love between two people. Two people who are pledging loyalty and devotion to one another for the rest of their lives. Two people who will one day take my place upon the throne, knowing they do so in complete honesty and transparency.”

  Oh, that magnificent bastard.

  “I remember,” he continued, then stopped. Shook his head. Cleared his throat. When he spoke again, his voice was a rougher. “I remember when I stood in this very room years ago looking upon my beloved. It was one of the happiest days of my life, knowing that I would get to look at this beautiful person for the rest of her days. And I did. There may have been days when we didn’t see one another. Days when commitments led us far from home, priorities that required our attention. But there was never a day that my Queen was far from my thoughts. She left this world far quicker than I had ever thought possible, but the time we shared together has kept me warm these many years later. For her, I would do it all over again.

  “And that is what love is. Even when you’re hurt. Even when you’re angry. Even when you think you can’t take another step, love is what keeps you going. If you can love, then you can overcome anything that may rise against you. And it should be love that helps guide your actions because it will show you truth. It will show you beauty. It will show you compassion. And these traits, these insights, are the mark of a king. Without it, one can never hope to rule with a firm and kind heart.”

  He took a breath and looked at Justin. “And so today, I give my son, Grand Prince Justin of Verania, to Knight Commander Ryan Foxheart in the hopes that he will have all the moments his mother and I had. You have my blessing.”

  The King stepped back.

  Randall stepped forward as the audience took their seats.

  “Now,” Randall said. “I must ask before we proceed. Prince Justin, are you here of your own volition and peace of mind?”

  “Yes,” Justin said, voice strong and clear.

  “Knight Commander Foxheart, are you here of your own volition and peace of mind?”

  Ryan was staring at me over Justin’s shoulder….

  I narrowed my eyes at him and jerked my head toward Randall, trying to get him to pay attention.

  The audience tittered quietly.

  “Knight Commander,” Randall said again.

  Ryan looked startled. He turned his head toward Randall. “Uh. I’m sorry? Can you say that again?”

  “Oh my gods,” Gary muttered.

  Randall’s lips twitched. “Of course. Are you here of your own volition and peace of mind?”

  “Uh. Yes?”

  “Is that a question?” Randall asked.

  “Yes.”

  “It’s a question.”

  “Er. No. I’m here.”

  “Of your own volition.”

  “Yes.”

  “And peace of mind.”

  “Ha-ha,” Ryan said weakly. “Uh. I mean yes. My mind is in pieces.” He paled further. “I mean, my peace of mind. It’s peaceful.”

  What the hell?

  “Good to know,” Randall said. “I’m glad that you’re so… peaceful.”

  Justin’s shoulders were tense. My hands were clammy.

  “Now,” Randall said, raising his voice to carry out around the throne room. “We gather here today to join the Prince of Verania to the Knight Commander who will one day stand as King Consort. They have both spoken and have agreed they are here of their own volition and peace of mind. Before we begin the ceremony joining these men in a bond not easily broken, there is a question I must ask.”

  I knew what was coming. I made sure to glare at my family in quick succession to get my point across. They mostly ignored me. Except for Gary. Gary rolled his eyes at me. What a dick.

  And then Randall asked his question, and I swore all the world held its breath.

  “Should anyone here present know of any reason why this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

  The room was completely silent.

  I felt a sad sort of relief as I looked down at my feet.

  Well, until Randall spoke again. “Anyone at all?”

  Silence.

  “Does anyone in this room have any reason that they shouldn’t marry?”

  Silence.

  “Nobody. Nobody here has any objection to this union?”

  Oh my fucking gods, I was going to murder Randall when this was over.

  “Not a single person has any—?”

  “I object! Holy mothercrackers, do I object!”

  The voice rang out, echoing around the throne room.

  The audience gasped.

  Gary choked.

  Tiggy growled.

  Morgan sighed.

  I snapped my head up.

  “Say again?” Randall asked.

  “I object,” Knight Commander Ryan Foxheart repeated, looking straight at me.

  “And why do you object?” the King asked gently.

  “Because,” Ryan said, eyes darting to the King. He swallowed thickly. “I don’t love Justin. My heart belongs to another.”

  The audience gasped again.

  “Oh my gods,” Gary snapped at them. “Stop doing that. It’s not like that’s a surprise or anything. This is already dramatic enough as it is given that we’re at a wedding. Stop adding to it.”

  “I’m sorry,” Ryan said, looking at Justin again. I couldn’t see the Prince’s face, but I could see his hands curled into fists at his sides. “I never wanted it to come to this. I let it go too far. And it’s my fault. I should have put a stop to this long ago. Justin, we can’t go through with this. It’s not fair. To either of us.”

  “Fair,” Justin repeated. “Fair.”

  I think I was going into shock. I leaned over and whispered to Gary, “Um. What’s going on?”

  Gary looked amused. “I’m pretty sure Ryan just called off the wedding because he wants to sit on your smile.”

  “Whoa,” I breathed. “I am so into that.”

  “You made an oath,” Justin said through gritted teeth. “You swore your fealty to me.”

  “I know,” Ryan said. “And I shouldn’t have. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought it’s what she would have wanted. But… I did it before I knew what I know now. Not that that’s
an excuse. I shouldn’t have let it get this far. For that, I am truly sorry.” He took a deep breath. “I ask you to release me from my oath.”

  “I won’t,” Justin said.

  “Oooh,” the crowd said.

  “Justin,” the King said with a frown.

  “You don’t love me,” Ryan said quietly. “And I don’t love you. Why would you do that to yourself? Justin, there is someone out there for you. Someone who is far better than I could ever be. Someone who will love you as your mother loved your father. That person can’t be me.”

  Justin laughed bitterly. “Love. Why does it have to be about love? I gave you what you wanted. I gave you a place in this castle. You would become King Consort. You would be the force of so much change, hundreds if not thousands of lives, and you’re willing to throw that away because of love?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “Because,” Ryan said, eyes flicking to me, “my mother told me that I had to follow my heart in all things. I thought I was. I thought I’d done what was right. But then I looked upon the stars and I wished for the one thing I wanted more than anything else. I didn’t believe it could ever come true or ever be mine, but then I held his lightning-struck heart, given freely and without reservation. And I would gladly treasure it for the rest of my days.”

  The audience sighed dreamily. Except for Tina. She looked like she had dysentery. Explosively so.

  “He talking about Sam?” Tiggy whispered to Gary.

  “Yes, he is,” Gary said, voice teary. “That motherfucker just gave my heart a boner. Well played, Knight Delicious Face. Well played.”

  “I can say no,” Justin said. “I can hold you to your oath.”

  “You can,” Ryan agreed, sounding surer. “But you wouldn’t.”

  “Why wouldn’t I?”

  “Because that’s not who you are.”

  “Justin,” the King said quietly, “release him from the oath. It’s the right thing to do.”

  “I….”

  The blood pounded in my ears.

  “Godsdammit,” Justin snapped. “Fine. Ryan Foxheart, I release you from your oath to me. Because of love.” He rolled his eyes. “Worst day ever.”

  “Holy shit,” I said rather loudly. Which, of course, caused everyone to look at me. “Er. Um. Hi.” I waved awkwardly. I leaned over to Gary. “What the fuck is going on?” I hissed in his ear.