I sigh loudly. “OK.” I didn’t doubt they would tell me I was pregnant, but I still can’t grasp that I have a living being growing inside of me.
After Mom leaves my room, I lie on my bed and flip through the pregnancy books I received. There’s a knock on the door, and Luke comes in.
“Hi, how are you feeling?” he asks before he climbs in bed next to me. His lips warm my forehead, cheek and mouth, and like always, his tender embrace comforts me. “I’ve been dying all day to talk to you and touch you.”
“The test was positive, Luke. They called already.”
He shrugs his shoulders. “We expected it to be.”
“I thought you would be more upset.” I bite on my bottom lip and shut the book in front of me.
“That does neither of us any good.” Luke picks up one of the many spread out on my bed. “When do you want to tell people?”
“I want to wait until I’m farther along. The less amount of time we have to endure the stares, whispers and gossip the better.”
“I agree, but if you keep getting sick at school, people are going to wonder.”
“Amanda suspected it already. I don’t know if I can trust her with the news or not,” I say.
“It’s up to you, sweetheart. I figure Liv will tell Dalton, but I know he won’t say a word about it to anyone.” Luke lies back and brings me into his arms. “I’m going to some of your doctor appointments, whether my parents like it or not.”
“Luke, no. You have to focus on sports and school.”
“Kenzie, you’re not doing this without me. I’m going.”
Luke’s a gentle soul, but when he’s in protective mode, you better watch out, and that’s what this is. He’s determined to take care of me.
“They said I’ll get an ultrasound after twenty weeks, and we can find out the sex of the baby then. Why don’t you wait until that one? Not much will happen before then.”
He sighs and rakes his fingers through my strands of hair. “OK, but I’m going to that one and more after it.”
I lean up enough to kiss him. I couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend or a better father for my baby. It’s too bad I won’t get the opportunity to see him share with our child the immense amount of love he holds in his heart. Maybe someday.
Chapter Fifteen
Luke
We’re about to faceoff on the ice, so I try to get my head in the game. We’re doing a scrimmage, and my coach has already chewed my ass for being distracted.
I play center, and Noah’s playing opposing goalie. Stew’s on the opposing team, too, as a defenseman. I manage to make two wrist shots and a snap shot, which seems to piss off Stew.
I’ve moved the puck into the offensive zone when he comes straight at me and cross-checks me, where he’s holding his stick horizontally with both hands and nails me in the chest.
The hit knocks me on my back. He’s been aggressive this entire practice, having elbowed me before an earlier shot, so I’m back up in seconds, throwing off my helmet. He does the same, and we begin shoving each other.
Teammates are trying to pull us apart, but the pent up frustration is coursing through me, driving me to want to kick his ass. Coach Simms is blowing his whistle and yelling, so I finally stop trying to get to Stew.
“What the hell is your problem?” I ask, shouting.
“I don’t have a problem, but from what I hear, you have a major one that will be here in what–about six to seven months? It must suck to be you.”
I lunge for Stew again, but my friends have hold of me.
“Harris! Get in the locker room. We’re having a chat,” Coach Simms orders. “Stewart, park it on the bench until I come back,” he adds, pointing to him.
Stew’s a prick, and I really want to kick his ass. I’m removing my gear when my coach walks in.
“I’m going to discipline Stewart. You and I, however, need to talk.”
“I didn’t do anything. He was all over me out there. Ultimately, we’re still on the same damn team, but he’s obviously forgotten.”
“Still, Luke, you’ve been different this season. Most of the time, your mind is somewhere else.”
I rest my elbows on my knees and lean over to rest my forehead in my hands. “I know, Coach. I’m sorry.”
He sits next to me on the bench and is quiet for a minute. “The staff hear a lot of the rumors that circulate throughout this school, and I have a feeling Stewart confirmed one of those rumors.”
Sitting back up, I take a deep breath. My head falls back, and I stare at the ceiling as tears sting my eyes. I manage to blink them away.
I’ve had hardly anyone to talk to about this situation, and it’s wearing me down. I can’t speak to my parents. It always turns into a discussion on how I’ve let them down.
“McKenzie Baker is pregnant, and the baby is mine.”
Coach Simms puts a hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Luke. Can I ask what’s going to happen?”
“She’s having it, and we’re supposed to give it up for adoption. I swear I thought we were careful.”
“I hate that the both of you have to go through this, but I’m still the coach of this team, and it’s my job to push you to excel at hockey and win us games.”
“I know, Coach.”
“I’m determined to make sure you play for Dartmouth. It won’t be easy, but I need you to keep your mind on the game while you’re in the rink. Anytime you’re not on the ice, and you need to talk, I’m here for you.”
“Thanks, Coach. Kenzie is at her twelve week check-up, and it’s almost all I can think about, but I’ll try to set it aside.”
“Why don’t you call it a day and see how she’s doing? We’ll start fresh tomorrow afternoon.”
After he leaves me alone in the locker room, I change and head home. Will they hear the heartbeat? Will the baby appear healthy? Is Kenzie healthy? These are only a few of the thoughts that continue to race through my head.
After showering, I go over to her house, and Charlotte answers the door.
“Hi, can I see Kenzie?”
“Sure, but she might not want company. She’s upset.”
“Is she OK?” I ask, reliving the day I found out she was pregnant.
“Yes, she’s fine.” Charlotte looks weary, and I’m curious what the problem is this time. Since she doesn’t offer the information, I dart up to Kenzie’s room.
She’s crying, so again I don’t knock. Like last time, I climb into bed and roll her over to me. I have a flashback to a day two years ago, when I rolled her over, and she grinned before saying, “Gotcha.” I wish this was one of those times.
***
Age 16:
Kenzie calls the house and tells me she’s coming over shortly to see Liv, so I hurry outside to prank her. It’s October, and Dad made me rake leaves yesterday.
I didn’t get them all picked up, so I climb in a huge pile and cover myself up near the path Kenz has worn across the yard. I only leave an opening big enough to see out of, before I wait.
Hearing her footsteps, I get ready for my attack. As soon as she appears in front of me, I reach out and grab her ankle. I didn’t exactly think this plan through, so instead of stopping, she screams and attempts to pull away from me.
Since I don’t let go fast enough, she falls forward and hits the ground. Flinging leaves 0ff, I try to get up quickly and move over to her. She won’t answer me or move, so I’m panicked at this point and yelling her name as I roll her over.
Frantically, I lift her head with one hand while I’m dusting leaves off of her. “Kenzie, please answer me. Are you OK?” I ask for the fifth time. Her eyes fly open, and she grins at me.
“Gotcha.”
I fall back onto my ass. “Kenzie, I was really worried I had hurt you,” I say aggravated. “How did you know it was me?”
“You missed covering the bottom of one of your legs.” She giggles, and I can’t be mad at her. I started it, and she’s too damn cute.
Smiling, I
attempt to gather two handfuls of leaves to throw on her, but she reaches out and grabs my arms to stop me. “No, Luke. I’m already covered in them.”
I try to pull away by getting up onto my knees, but she has a good hold on my arms, so the next thing I know, I’m tumbling over on top of her.
She grunts and coughs. “Lord, Luke, are you trying to squish me?”
I’m chuckling as I roll to her side, but I don’t go far since it’s nice being this close to Kenzie. My hand is on her stomach, so when she goes to bring hers across it, it lands on mine.
We’re gazing at each other as we laugh, and everything is right in the world. When Kenzie is around, I feel like I’m truly home.
“We’ve spent a number of seasons together, but autumn is my favorite,” she says.
“Yeah, me too.” My eyes take in her beauty. The red, yellow and orange leaves are a background to her golden highlights, making them glow, and her blue eyes are all the more vivid from it as she stares up at me.
It’s as if the sky has met the earth and created something extraordinary. Like the other times it has happened, I lean over and put my mouth on hers.
She doesn’t move, but I feel her trembling. God, I wish I could kiss Kenzie in a way that would convey how much I care for her. What am I even doing?
When I let her lips go, she nervously brushes her hair from her face and attempts to remove leaves from it.
“You should’ve had Liv cover you up with the leaves.”
“Then she might’ve watched as you walked over.”
“What would’ve been wrong with that?”
I glance away. “I wanted time alone with you.”
“Luke.”
“Yeah.” I pick some leaves off her pants, so I have an excuse not to look at her yet.
“Why does this happen between us?”
Reluctantly, I turn back to her and see the faint smile on her gorgeous face.
“At the time, I can’t resist, Kenzie.” I need to get us off this topic. “We’re leaving here at seven to go out tonight.”
She averts her gaze and wrinkles her forehead.
“I’m not going.”
“But Liv is.”
“Um, I have a date.”
My hand pulls away from her stomach, and I feel my pulse pick up. “With who?” I ask.
“Jeffrey Jacobson.”
“Jeffrey? He’s so strange.”
“He’s nice, and none of our guy friends ever ask me out. He did, so I said yes.” She’s getting defensive, and I–I’m getting pissed.
“I can’t believe you’re going on a date with him.”
Kenzie frowns and sits up. “Tell me the real reason you don’t want me to go out with him, Luke, and maybe I won’t.”
I groan lightly, unable to tell her a valid reason since we can only be friends. “I don’t think he’s who you should be with.”
“Who should I be with then?” she asks with her eyebrows raised and lips pursed.
“I don’t know but not him.”
She’s instantly on her feet, dusting off her clothing and hair. “That’s not the reason I was looking for, and thanks to you, I have to get leaves out of my hair before he picks me up,” she sneers before storming away.
***
“Kenzie, why are you crying again? Please tell me nothing is wrong with you or the baby.” I brush the wet strands of hair from her face and wipe tears off her cheek.
“I don’t want to tell you. Things keep getting worse, but then there is a part of me that doesn’t think it’s bad, and that confuses me. I’m so stressed out—”
“Kenzie, please, take a deep breath and calm down.” She does as I ask, swiping her tears with her hands as I prop myself up on my elbow next to her.
“Luke, the doctor heard two heartbeats.”
“Two?”
“Two heartbeats, Luke, equals two babies.”
“Shit.” I rub my forehead, trying not to freak out.
“I thought I was going to die when I heard them.”
“You got to hear them, too?” I ask as I instinctually place my hand on her belly.
“Yeah.” Her hand covers mine, and she appears upset again.
“What’s wrong, Kenz?”
“What’s wrong? Seriously?”
“I have to carry two babies. There is an increased risk for complications, I’m going to be huge and miserable, and I ...”
She turns her head toward the window, so I take her chin and bring it back. “Say it.”
“I have to hand over two of our babies.”
“We have to give up the babies. Remember we’re in this together, sweetheart, and I know it’s not going to be easy.”
Her fingers reach up and travel through my hair.
“Our hearts have been attached for as long as I can remember, Luke. Many people die never having a bond like the one we share. It’s going to be difficult to give a part of that away.”
“Kenzie, I’m going to work,” Charlotte yells from outside the door. “Call me if you need anything.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Bye, Ms. Baker,” I shout.
“Bye, Luke.”
Kenzie’s fingers are still gliding through my hair, and it’s relaxing. I’m daydreaming again about the day we lain in the leaves. I remember being angry the entire time I was out with my friends that night.
All I could think about was Kenzie getting close to another guy and the likely chance he would kiss her. The next day, I nonchalantly asked Liv how the date went, and she informed me that Kenzie had cancelled with Jeffrey, telling him that she didn’t feel well.
Liv said all Kenz would tell her was that she changed her mind. She didn’t go out with us since there was a chance Jeffrey would find out. Kenzie didn’t want to hurt his feelings, so she stayed home alone on a Saturday night.
She’s sweet like that, and I felt like an asshole at the time. I made the decision then that I wouldn’t kiss her again, and I’d keep my mouth shut if she dated.
Aside from derailing my friends from dating her, I stayed true to what I declared until about six months later, when she chased me to my car in the rain to be there for me.
I felt like I was giving up my whole future by not making her mine that day, and I hurt her like I never had before. It took another year and half for me to wise up, but thank goodness I did.
“Luke.” I snap my head down to look at her.
“Yeah, honey.”
“Please make love to me. I want you to remember how my body is now.”
“Kenzie, I will always desire your body and want to make love to you.”
Her hand slides behind my neck, our mouths crashing together, and we forget, if only for a short amount of time, how our lives are going to change forever.
Chapter Sixteen
McKenzie
It’s my birthday on a Saturday in December. Mom and I are out shopping, and the stores are decorated beautifully for the holiday season. We’re strolling through the mall when I see a toddler run away from his parents.
His eyes are on the colorfully lit North Pole display in front of him. He’s grinning and giggling, but he’ll probably be crying once he’s on Santa’s lap. I never paid much attention to little kids before, but now, I notice every one of them.
***
Age 12:
“Hey, Kenz. What are you doing in here? It’s freezing outside,” Luke says after climbing into my treehouse. I’m in my winter coat, but he’s right; it is freezing. Liv comes in behind him.
“Dad hit me again. This time with the new belt Mom bought him for Christmas.”
“I hate that man,” Liv says.
I watch as Luke’s jaw tenses. His hands close, and I realize I shouldn’t have told him.
“Is he inside?” he asks angrily.
“No. Mom came home, and they went out to dinner. I refused to go. I’m sure I’ll pay for it when she isn’t around.”
“That’s it. I’m over this, Kenzie.” Luke c
harges out of the treehouse.
“Luke! Where are you going?” I’m on my feet swiftly, and when I get outside, he’s going into my back door. I can see my breath as I run toward the house.
“Kenz, wait for me.” Liv is following behind.
The sound of Luke’s feet hitting the floor as he runs across the hardwood fill the house. I find him in my parents’ room. “What the freak? What are you going to do?”
“Where are your dad’s belts?” he asks as his eyes scan the room.
“In the closet on a hanger, but you can’t do anything to them. He’ll assume I did it.”
“She’s right, Luke.” Liv’s hands are on her hips, and her eyes are narrowed at him.
Luke groans, and I know it’s over the helplessness he feels. “We’re getting back at him, Kenz.” He snaps his fingers and smiles. “This won’t stop him from what he’s doing, but he needs to be punished. Your mom doesn’t drink coffee, right?”
“Right, but my dad does every day.”
“Exactly.” Luke is tearing off down the hallway again, so we follow him to the kitchen.” Where is the coffee?”
“He keeps it in the fridge, so it will stay fresh.”
“Get the pepper.” While he retrieves the coffee, I find the pepper and hand it to him, but he hands it right back.
“You’re doing this, Kenzie. You need to feel like you have some power. Pour a lot of it in there.”
I chew on my bottom lip. “I don’t know, Luke.”
“Do it, Kenzie.”
“Yeah, do it,” Liv adds.
Smiling, I open the container. I’m shaking my head in disbelief as I pour it in. Luke finds a spoon and stirs it up before he goes back and makes it appear untouched. He even washes the spoon and puts it back in the drawer after he puts up the coffee.
Looking around again, I see the gleam of satisfaction in his eyes. “What else can we do?”
“I think that’s enough, Luke.”
“No, Kenzie. There is nothing we could do that would be enough to take away what he’s done to you. You never do anything to deserve what he dishes out,” he says.
Luke’s next smile is more mischievous before he’s running to my parent’s room again.
“Doesn’t your mom leave before your dad gets up in the morning?”
Hearts Attached Page 10