Love in the Valley

by Susan Napier

  ‘Seeing as we’re going to spend hours and hours and hours together,’ she said, settling more comfortably on the floor, ‘what shall we do to amuse each other?’ She blinked at him with wide, suggestive eyes and he overreacted instantly, rearing up to his feet like an enraged bear.

  ‘Damnit, Julia, if you came down here just to torment me …’

  ‘Torment, torment,’ Julia rose beside him, the red robe falling over her hands and trailing on the floor, so that she looked, to him, like a little girl dressed up in her mother’s clothes. ‘What an odd word to use, Hugh. Do I torment you?’ She moved towards him, stumbling on the bunched hem of the robe and pitching forward conveniently into his arms. Body contact produced instant ignition. ‘Oh … Hugh …’

  ‘Julia, be sensible …’ The rough plea brought forth a laugh, muffled in his crisp shirt-front. ‘Sensible? Me? Who are you trying to kid? You’ve already impressed on me that I’m a fool. Let’s be foolish together, mmmm …?’ She snuggled against his chest, a tiny creature trying to nestle into his heart.

  ‘No …’ The word was dragged harshly from the depths.

  ‘Yes.’ She flung back her head to smile sensuously up into his rigid face. ‘When are you going to stop fighting it? I want you and you want me … that’s something you can’t hide behind a poker face.’ She pushed her hips provocatively against his to prove her point and he couldn’t deny her the surge of his body.

  Triumphantly Julia trailed her hands down the muscular arms to stroke up under his sleeves, finding the crisp hairs that curled down to his wrists, the inner tendons hard cords. He shook her hands away and she recklessly slid them up under his sweater, caressing the scalloped stomach, raking through the soft tangle on his chest. Virgin that she was, her body seemed to have taken on an instinctive voluptuousness of its own— flaunting, seducing, draining his physical resistance.

  ‘I can show you a good time,’ she attacked softly, at what intuition told her would be his weakest point. ‘Richard said that I showed a lot of initiative in bed. He said I was …’

  ‘Shut up!’ Hugh swore at her, wrenching her hands from his body, holding them as, unwillingly: ‘You said that you and Richard weren’t lovers.’

  ‘Did I?’ she shrugged off the accusation and succeeded in producing what she hoped was a husky, rather than broken, laugh. ‘Maybe I’m mixing him up with someone else. Now … who could it have been?’ She tapped a finger against the serene curve of her cheek, mocking his silent outrage. She produced and discarded the list of non-existent lovers for his disapproval, watching his face grow more and more grim while his eyes began to burn blackly, bleakly, within their frosty rims. Recklessly she continued, surely the fire must melt the ice soon.

  ‘You know, I think it must have been Steve,’ she finished tauntingly, having seen how the mention of his brothers seemed to disturb him … perhaps he found that a little too close to home. ‘Yes, that’s who it was. He was such a lover … so raunchy and …’

  ‘Shut up!’ The savage whisper drilled out. ‘I don’t want to hear it, any of it. Just shut up! Shut up and get out. While you can.’

  ‘Get out where? There’s nowhere to go,’ said Julia, taut with fear and expectation. ‘All the roads are closed and there’s a flood just outside the door. Neither of us can leave, we’re both trapped. Why can’t we make the best of it? Are you scared you won’t match up to the twins? Worried about your Oedipus complex? Did nasty daddy turn you into a passive little mummy’s boy? God, Hugh—!

  The terrified cry was wrenched from her trembling lips as the mortally wounded bear rounded on her, raising enormous fists, massive body swaying, shaking, straining against the fatally weakened bonds of self-control. His expression was murderous, the veins in his temples standing out under the translucent skin, marking the slow, savage pulse of his rage. All Julia’s instincts screamed at her to run, but she ignored them. Love. Trust. Hugh was teetering on the brink, as he had that day by the pool. This time her shove was utterly deliberate.

  She caught one huge, shaking iron fist in her puny hand and wrenched it to her jaw.

  ‘You want me to take it back? Make me! Go on, make me. Hit me, Hugh! Punish me. Make me say I’m sorry!’

  She heard his tortured, inarticulate groan, felt the pressure of his knuckles hard against the frail bones of her face, felt all the crushing power of him, the blind, brutal strength.

  ‘Go on, hit me. You know you want to. It’ll make you feel good. Feel strong. Feel in control. That’s what you want isn’t it? Hit me, Hugh! Show me what a real man you are!’

  He broke loose, swinging at her with a harsh, tearing sound, throwing the whole weight of his body behind the crunching blow. Julia half-sobbed, closing her eyes; waiting, dying, not believing.

  She felt the shock of the violent airwaves and opened her eyes as his fist grazed her cheek and buried itself with a splintering crash into the wood panel behind her head.

  ‘No … no.’ With a grunting, anguished moan Hugh struck again, despairingly, ‘Oh God!’ He stared sickly at the bleeding fist, an alien appendage, and the raw, splintered panelling.

  ‘No.’ His voice sank to a bloodless whisper of defeat, as if all his mighty strength had collapsed inwards on itself. The great head fell back, his eyes fanned shut against drawn cheeks and Julia was horrified by the glinting run of moisture along the roots of the long, dark lashes.

  ‘No, no …’ she echoed his moaning litany, putting her arms around the large, shockingly weak body, cradling it close to her warmth. She felt the depth of his despair in the racking shudders and tried to soothe him with her love. ‘No, darling, never. You’ll never, never hurt me. Love or hate. Never, not even in your blackest rage. We all know that you’re incapable of it, those of us who love you. I’m so sorry, so sorry, I had to say those awful, ugly things. But I had to, darling, I had to show you … you’re so stubborn, you would never have believed me …’

  Slowly, painfully, his shudders eased and like an old man Hugh leaned stiffly away from her, far enough to see her tear-streaked cheeks, the pleading blue eyes. He blinked, and swore as the realisation came to him.

  ‘You …?’ He swallowed. ‘You … did that on purpose?’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she confirmed his dazed uncertainty. ‘But you do see why, don’t you?’

  ‘You … took a risk.’

  Her face illuminated with a gentle smile. ‘I trusted you.’

  The grey irises turned smoky as he stared down at her. ‘On purpose,’ he repeated softly. ‘Yes … I do see. On purpose? as if he still didn’t quite believe it.

  Julia waited, her heart thumping madly, schooling herself to patience and gasped as he reached out a casual hand and wrapped it around her throat, tightly enough to make the blood thrum unpleasantly in her head. ‘Those things you said … about your lovers …’

  ‘Lies. All lies,’ croaked Julia.

  ‘Lies.’ He drew out the repetition delicately. ‘My God! On purpose. I wanted to kill you. I should kill you.’ His fingers flexed in the soft skin of her neck and she brought her own hands up to tug at them helplessly, trying to guess what was going on in that complex brain.

  ‘But since you’ve just proved me constitutionally incapable of killing …’ he dragged her towards him, ‘… perhaps there’s another way I can give you a little taste of death.’

  ‘What…?’ Julia’s knees sagged at the way he looked down at her body. There was a light in his eyes she had never seen before, a strange, unholy gleam.

  ‘That’s what they call it—a little death.’ He reached down and loosened the voluminous robe, swiftly reaching behind her to pull it off before she had time to react. He still held her by the neck and the combination of helplessness and the startling realisation of what he intended to do sent a surge of confused excitement through Julia. Instinctively her hands came up to shield her unprotected body and he laughed, a relaxed, knowing laugh that stole away the last of her breath.

  ‘Don’t bother, Julia. Befo
re I’m through I’m going to know every inch of you,’ adding, to make her blush furiously; ‘both inside and out.’

  He kissed her possessively, removing his hand from her throat as her lips parted readily under his. He kissed her until there was no part of her mouth he had not sensuously explored. His large hands moved over her body, cupping and massaging her breasts with firm deliberation before sinking to her belly, and beyond, his fingers imitating the invasive stroke of his tongue in her mouth.

  The flood outside was nothing to the seething waves of pleasure that flooded through Julia as she allowed Hugh the freedom of her body. He seemed without inhibition, as though he had shed the dry, constricting skin of his previous existence to emerge renewed and invigorated. Julia gloried in the return of his strength and power, arching as his hands found the naked skin of her back, tracing the sensitive curve of her spine urging her closer to his restless thighs.

  Kissing, caressing, feeding hungrily on her soft flesh, Hugh’s impatience was a seduction in itself, more arousing than all his previous expertise. He pulled off his clothes and threw them down, pushing Julia eagerly on to the floor in front of the dying fire, roughly entwining his body with hers, moving against her with a passionate urgency that consumed her with heat. The harsh-soft carpet beneath her and the heavy satin body above her provided her skin with a sensuous contrast that made her cry out with delight.

  ‘So ripe, so ready,’ he muttered, biting the smooth shoulders and breasts, then kissing the tiny, stinging pinpoints of pain, soothing them with his tongue, only to use his teeth again to skilfully heighten the sensations that were building … building, inside her body. He slid between her legs, one hand resting on the pulsing warmth of her left breast, lifting his head briefly, asking thickly: ‘Am I going too fast for you?’

  As Julia gasped a negative, he followed it roughly with: ‘I don’t care, we got all the damned foreplay over with months ago. Now. I’ve got to have you now …’

  Julia arched herself to the thrust of his body, welcoming him joyfully into her warmth. She felt him tense momentarily at the moment of truth, beating down his desire as he met, then gently thrust through the fragile, unexpected barrier; his whispered moan ‘ mingling with her tiny cry. With the need for gentleness past, he exploded into impassioned lovemaking, bringing them both to a fierce, groaning satisfaction.

  Afterwards, lying wrapped in the glow of fulfilment, Julia touched his mouth with a gentle finger.

  ‘I was wrong. You did hurt me. But only a little.’

  ‘If I’d known …’

  ‘I’m glad you didn’t,’ not wanting a single regret. ‘I wouldn’t have wanted it to be any other way. And loving you made it perfect.’

  He held her quiet gaze for long moments, then bowed to rest his chin against her bright head. ‘Oh, Julia … Richard was right to warn you. I’m too old, too selfishly staid for you. I can’t live up to your expectations. Can’t give you the kind of loving you deserve.’

  Julia smiled secretly against his throat. His words held precious little enthusiasm, he wasn’t even convincing himself any more. However, knowing his background, it was probably the nearest he would ever come to a declaration of love.

  ‘Piffle,’ she scoffed. ‘Who’s trying to be self-sacrificing now? Richard’s been wrong before. So have you come to that, lawyer-man.’ She tilted her head back to give him a cheeky grin. ‘What was it you both said about lovemaking on the floor?’

  For the first time Hugh seemed to take in their surroundings and to Julia’s delight his ears went bright red. ‘I’m going to ache in the morning.’

  ‘So am I,’ she replied mischievously. ‘You’re a very athletic lover. Very demanding.’

  ‘Too demanding. No, listen to me Julia …’ as she stroked him teasingly. His face was so beautifully grave that her heart was wrung anew with love and compassion. ‘It’s you I’m trying to protect, not myself. You’re like a shaft of light in my life, all dancing brightness and warmth. All right, so you’ve satisfied me that I’m not my father’s son, but there are other, just as bitter ways to cause pain. Our natures are diametrically opposed. You may love me now, but what happens when you find my rather pessimistic nature oppressive, what happens when you have to live with my wretched stuffiness day in, day out? I know you like to fly in the face of facts, but I don’t have your rather awesome courage in that direction. You know I never would have come to you,’ he said, with slow deliberation. ‘I would have put all my considerable energy into convincing myself that life was better without you.’

  ‘I know.’ It didn’t hurt. It was part of the way he was, part of the burden that she wanted to help him shoulder. ‘But it wouldn’t have been, would it? And I’m here now. I love you Hugh, and I know that you enjoy my company, you respect me, you make love to me with tenderness and passion. Isn’t that enough to build a life on? A lot of people don’t even start with that. As for your wretched stuffiness …’ she flicked him a provocative look ‘… I changed my mind about that the first time you kissed me. You’re not stuffy, you’re just out of practice in some areas.’

  ‘Who told you about my mother and father?’

  ‘Connie,’ Julia answered warily, unsure of his exact mood. ‘I went to Romeo and Juliet last night, and we talked.’

  He nodded, heavy lids drooping. ‘So, having had that over-tender heart of yours well-primed, you came hotfooting it down here to play the psychologist.’

  Julia stiffened. ‘So? It worked didn’t it?’ She dared him to accuse her of pitying, rather than loving, him.

  ‘Extremely arrogant of you though, wouldn’t you say?’

  ‘Damn you, Hugh—’ If only she knew what he was thinking!

  ‘No, damn you!’ he told her, with a forcefulness that was dismaying. ‘I didn’t want this, Julia. I didn’t want you. I was quite content with what I had. But you changed that.’ He looked at her anew. ‘I should never have asked you to do my typing, but I couldn’t leave well enough alone. You were so … infuriating … disruptive, so full of life, small yet fiery, warming everyone with your glow. I wanted to warm myself too, just enough to take the chill off, so I let myself be seduced by you …’

  ‘I? Seduced you?’ squeaked Julia, wondering where all this was leading…

  ‘You know you did.’ His sombre face lightened with a smile that melted her bones. ‘Always. In everything. With your big, baby eyes and your laughing mouth, with your impossible sense of humour and your tiny, accident-prone body. How could I not be fascinated? And you fitted into the palms of my hands as if that was where destiny intended you to stay. My God, how I wanted you that night …’ The memory lay physical hold of his body, and it stirred against her.

  ‘Your love was one complication too many. It was too sudden, too soon, raising too many painful possibilities. I realised that with you it would have to be all or nothing, and I told myself it would be easier all round if it were nothing. Will you marry me? I know it won’t be easy, but we can try.’

  She almost missed it in the welter of doubting words. ‘Yes,’ she said quickly, before he could retrieve his error. ‘Yes, yes, yes.’ And, reassuring him with her honesty: ‘And yes, I know it won’t be easy, but often what’s easy isn’t worth a candle. We’re different, but our differences are complementary. You can keep my feet on the ground and I can lift your head above the clouds. The whole world will be ours.’

  ‘Ah, Julia …’ He drew her deep against his chest, a mixture of relief and resignation in the warm sigh.

  She stroked his grey head. ‘Before you settle in, perhaps you’d better go and put all this in writing. I really should tie you to a contract before you come back to your senses.’

  ‘I don’t want my sense back,’ he said huskily. ‘But you’re right, we should draw a contract up, now. I feel an urgent desire to insert a rather pressing clause.’

  His body nuzzled against hers and Julia giggled at the double-entendre. ‘I never thought of laughter as erotic until I met you,’ he murmur
ed, catching her mouth with his own eager one. ‘Do you think you can manage to do that while I’m inside you?’

  ‘Hugh!’ Julia wondered dazedly what manner of playful creature she had unleashed on to an unsuspecting world.

  ‘I mean it. It’s one of the many things I love you for.’

  ‘Hugh?’ Frantically Julia fought against his cleverly roving hands, so that she could get a clear view of soft grey eyes. ‘Hugh?’

  He smiled, and the blood rioted through her body. She took a shaky breath. ‘You devil!’

  ‘I was saving the best until last,’ he admitted. He watched the tears that glittered in her eyes with a curious, detached wonderment, not offering to kiss them away. She allowed him this piece of refined cruelty, even as she cursed him for it, for she understood the reason for the casual way he bestowed his unique gift. There were still fears that only a lifetime of loving could finally allay.

  ‘You swine … you rat… you beast…’ she sobbed.

  ‘You love the beast in me, remember?’ A gentle finger moved at last to brush away her tears. ‘I can remember every word you’ve ever said to me. If I can forgive you some of your words, you can forgive me my lack of them. I had to be sure, first. I love you.’

  ‘Oh!’ Her head fell back and she shuddered with a kind of ecstasy that transcended the intense physical satisfaction they had shared.

  ‘And now …’ he returned to the matter at hand. ‘I calculate that we have at least twenty-four hours before the phones are working and the roads cleared. I think we should use each and every one of them to our mutual … exquisite … advantage.’

  ‘But, Hugh,’ she gasped, as he picked her up and tossed her into the feathery depths of his bed as if she was but a feather herself. ‘What about your work … you’re supposed to be …’

  ‘To hell with work,’ his growl vibrated against her skin as he burrowed down alongside her. ‘This is a civil emergency. It’s our duty to support each other in time of need. Can’t you feel how much I need you?’