First Impressions of a Second Nature

by Kate Speck

  Mr. Bennet shook both gentlemen’s hands and began to take his leave. “I have several tenants to visit so I will leave you now.” He turned to his daughters, “Your mother packed some of your belongings for you and I have left it with Mrs. Nicholls. I will visit again tomorrow, daughters.” He kissed their cheeks and departed.

  The ladies returned to their rooms to rest and refresh themselves while the men turned their attention to the steward who needed to report his findings on the damages to the estate.

  ∞∞∞

  “It is so boring, Louisa, with nothing to do but sit around. Miss Bennet is sitting with her sister and Mr. Darcy has avoided me all day. Charles is busy with the steward and there is absolutely no entertainment to be had!” Miss Bingley whined. “And I hope you are not coming down with an illness. I heard you lose your stomach contents for the second time this morning and it sounds most wretched.”

  Louisa Hurst lifted the wet towel from her face to reply, “Caroline, cease your complaints. I believe I am with child and you will see me miserable for months with one symptom or another.”

  Caroline gasped, “How can that be, Louisa? I cannot believe it. You are thirty years old. Is it still possible at your advanced age?”

  Louisa threw a pillow at her stupid sister. “Yes, you chit. I am with child and I am not that old!”

  Caroline sat next to her sister after dodging the pillow and whispered, “And who is the father of the baby, Louisa?”

  Mrs. Hurst fumed, “It is my husband’s! Whose do you think?”

  Caroline smirked, “Well, I did see that Mr. Darcy was interested in you at one time and thought now that he is under the same roof here, perhaps you might have finally…”

  “CAROLINE! Do not go there. Nothing has ever happened and nothing will ever happen with Mr. Darcy. I leant him a shoulder years ago while he was grieving and that was all. Mr. Hurst and I have finally reconciled and have become happier together, even if he likes his drink every once in a while. I am about three months along and you know we had not seen Mr. Darcy all summer long. Do not dare let any rumors start because you are a fool.” Louisa huffed.

  Caroline sighed, “Well, I had hoped perhaps he might have had a liaison with you and for him to move from one sister to another, it would have been a natural course, would it not? I have been making my intentions clear to him for so long but it does not seem like he has any idea. Perhaps if I arranged a compromise, he might finally come to his senses and make me his wife.”

  Louisa scoffed at her sister’s logic. You and I look nothing alike, Caroline, and Mr. Darcy would rather marry a servant than you!

  But instead of speaking her mind, she tried to mollify her sister. “I have told you for years to give up your dream of becoming Mistress of Pemberley, Caroline. You chased away men of some standing with your grand ideas of being included in the first circles and it will never come about. You are handsome but will certainly be on the shelf if you do not find a husband soon. I hope this spring, you will agree to court and get yourself married to a decent man who will take you. Mr. Darcy will never make you his wife and you would never make each other happy. I married Mr. Hurst without understanding what I was doing but at last, it seems we are finding happiness together. This child is the result of our affection and I will not have you ruin it with your venomous resentment. Get yourself married, Caroline. As soon as possible!”

  Mrs. Hurst arose to return to her husband’s side, who had been playing billiards by himself. Perhaps he will teach me how to play in private. Louisa smiled to herself.

  Caroline sat by herself after her sister’s rebuke, thinking of what other man might fit her criteria of being her husband. He would have to be handsome, outrageously wealthy, have a grand estate of at least 10,000 a year, and have connections to at least an earl.

  There was no one good enough to be husband to Caroline Bingley than Mr. Darcy and she would not give up now. She just needed the right dress to capture his attentions and only wished this awful rain would cease so she could go shopping.

  Chapter 10

  “Miss Elizabeth,” Darcy bowed, as he entered the library, seeing Elizabeth sitting alone.

  Elizabeth smirked while standing, fully believing that the gentleman did not recall what he had attempted the night before, and curtseyed then sat again. “Mr. Darcy.”

  Darcy stood behind one of the chairs to distance himself from the siren, who had interrupted every conscious thought in his mind since that evening at the assembly. He needed an obstacle to stand between them so he would not be tempted to drop to his knees and beg for her hand in marriage.

  “And have you found something interesting to read in Bingley’s bare shelves here?” He tried to converse with her in a civil tone.

  Elizabeth smiled, “Oh, it is most atrocious how empty these shelves are. I am enjoying Wordsworth’s new volume of poetry but I find I have you to thank for it. I inadvertently took it to my rooms and have not been able to put it down.”

  Darcy smiled, “And do you often enjoy reading poetry? I have been used to consider it as the food of love.”

  “Of a stout, healthy love it may. Everything nourishes what is strong already. But I am convinced that one good sonnet will starve it entirely away if it be only a slight inclination.” Elizabeth giggled.

  Darcy quoted, looking deeply into her eyes,

  ‘She was a phantom of delight

  When first she gleam’d upon my sight;

  A lovely aparition, sent

  To be a moment’s ornament…’

  Elizabeth gasped at her favorite poem that she had read in the book. The look on Mr. Darcy’s face was so full of affection and her heart had beat wildly as she recalled their passionate kiss last night. He had been one of the most intelligent men she had met, who had asked her about her opinions regarding more than just the weather, and she found herself enjoying his attentions more than she should.

  She shook off her thoughts and closed the book. “I shall have to return this to you.” She stood and approached him to return the booklet to him.

  Darcy stiffened for a moment with her nearness but when she walked behind the chair to hand him the volume, he could not help himself. He held her hand and the book to return it to her; to put something of his into her arms to hold. “Keep it, Elizabeth. It is yours. I only wish I could give you so much more.” He stood inches from her once again.

  Elizabeth gasped, “You remembered last night!”

  “Of course I remember last night! How could I forget? I told you I have not done anything like that before. Good lord, do you truly believe me a rake? And why would I not remember?” Darcy asked, as his ire began to rise again.

  Elizabeth blushed, “I thought you might have been drinking too much and had acted without thinking.” She stepped back as she held the book close to her body. “You were very… ardent in your behavior last night.”

  “I know, Elizabeth, and I am sorry. I behaved badly and I should not have acted so... You are so… I believe I…” Darcy stammered.

  Their private moment was interrupted when Bingley opened the door and entered. The two separated quickly and faced their host.

  “Darcy! Why am I not surprised that you are in here again? Oh, Miss Elizabeth! Are you well? Was there something you needed?” Bingley inquired.

  Elizabeth put on a smile and replied to her host, “I am well. Mr. Darcy was kind enough to share his book and I was most grateful to have something new to read. Pray excuse me.” She curtseyed and quickly left.

  “Well, Darcy? Are you ready to go? We will get drenched out there but you did agree to join me to inspect the bridge.” Bingley pleasantly asked.

  Darcy agreed immediately. “Of course, Bingley. Let us depart now. I could use the fresh air.”

  I almost told her I love her. Damnation! I am in love with Elizabeth but she is ill-qualified to be my wife and my weakness will only bring much misery in the years to come. Why could she not be of higher standing? If she had a decent dowry,
society might accept her and I would be content to marry her. But 5,000 pounds is laughable and she will never be respected as Mrs. Darcy. Darcy sighed as he thought to himself. Maybe Bingley has the right of it. I would not be so tempted if I had an outlet for my frustrations. If obtaining a mistress might prevent me from making a fool of myself with Elizabeth, I will need to search for one as soon as I return to town.

  ∞∞∞

  “So tell me more about your uncle in Cheapside, Miss Bennet.” Miss Bingley sneered. She finally had a chance to learn more about the Bennets, and seeing that Mr. Darcy continued to look at Miss Eliza like a wolf eyeing a lamb whenever she was near, she wanted to find any scandalous gossips she could about this peasant family.

  Miss Elizabeth had taken another drop of laudanum for her pain and was sleeping, while Louisa was in her rooms with instructions to be undisturbed. Caroline had heard strange noises coming from her sister’s rooms when she eavesdropped on her sister, and it sounded like Mr. Hurst’s was also making strange sounds with her. Caroline could not fathom what in the world they could be doing together.

  “My uncle is a drapery merchant and is very successful. He has a house in…” Jane was cut off.

  “It is no wonder you and your sisters dress so well! Now that makes more sense that with your uncle’s connections, you have access to such wonderful materials.” Miss Bingley leaned over and inspected Jane Bennet’s dress, seeing it of the highest quality.

  “Yes, I suppose Uncle Gardiner’s connections have been helpful.” Jane replied.

  “And his house, you were saying?” Miss Bingley asked.

  Jane answered, “Yes, his house in Cheapside is one of the larger ones, as his business has been doing so well, and he only lately purcha…” She was cut off once again.

  “I am glad his business is doing well. I am certain we all wish for those tradesmen to succeed, otherwise how else could a person like myself obtain the best that my money could buy?” She bragged. “I have 20,000 pounds in dowry. I believe you said you have 5,000?” She looked down her nose.

  “Well, yes, my mother left me 5,000 pounds but my…” Once again, Miss Bingley interrupted her.

  “Five thousand is nothing to belittle, dear Jane! May I call you Jane? And you can call me Caroline. Jane, I am certain you will be scooped up quickly by a deserving man, and although any man of standing in town would look for someone with at least 10,000 pounds, I am certain you are highly coveted with your 5,000 pounds here in this… cozy town of yours. I cannot wait to return to town. Mr. Darcy is most anxious to see his sister again and I am certain all of the balls and grand parties during Christmastide will entertain us quite nicely. Charles wishes to put on a ball in a fortnight before we return to town for Christmas, and I am certain it will be nothing like all of Hertfordshire has ever seen.” Caroline boasted.

  “I am certain you are correct, Caroline.” Jane softly replied. She was not certain what else to say, but had caught that Mr. Bingley had planned to visit town in December for an unknown time. “A ball at Netherfield sounds exciting.”

  Their conversation moved to Miss Bingley’s plan for a grand ball to showcase her talents as a hostess and they both retired to rest for the afternoon.

  Chapter 11

  “Can you believe the nerve of that woman, Jane? She mocks us for lacking in her definition of accomplishments while she truly has no understanding of the word. I am only thankful that mama convinced us to keep our family’s secret from that mercenary woman. If she knew the truth, she would be absolutely insufferable!” Elizabeth fumed.

  Jane smiled tenderly and comforted her dearest sister. “Lizzy, you must be kind. Anyone could see that she is attempting to make herself appear better in Mr. Darcy’s eyes by putting others down. That gentleman did not pay her any attention and I could see that he is used to her nonsense. She was very kind to me earlier and asked me to call her by name. I believe she wishes for us to be friends and perhaps it is due to her brother’s desire for us to become closer.” She blushed beautifully.

  Elizabeth beamed, “I would do anything for you, dearest Jane. I do believe Mr. Bingley is half in love with you and I would not be surprised if he asks you for the first set. You and he spoke at length tonight and he could not take his eyes off of you!”

  “I enjoyed speaking with him very much, Lizzy. I have not met anyone so agreeable and handsome. He is just as a young man should be.” Jane spoke shyly.

  “Well, then, I hope the weather continues to be awful and I will endure the horrible Miss Bingley for your sake. We might stay another few nights and perhaps he will ask you for courtship. Mr. Bingley has been a wonderful host and I find I like Mrs. Hurst very much. I believe she is with child and has not been seen often downstairs, but she is most pleasant in the evenings and has been easy to converse with.” Elizabeth replied.

  Jane smiled. “You were in quite a debate with Mr. Darcy, Lizzy. I could not make head or tail of what you were discussing. Were you angry with him? He seemed amused but you were flushed and I had never seen you concede.”

  Elizabeth laughed. “That man took on a ridiculous view of politics just to get a rise out of me. He was speaking nonsense and he knew it. I only conceded to make a point that he was being ludicrous and he knew that, too.”

  “But it seemed as if you two dislike each other and argue whenever you are in the same room. Do you think him a bad person?” Jane asked.

  “I believe in essence, Mr. Darcy is a good man. He is intelligent and appears to respect my opinions, even if I am only a woman, which we were arguing about tonight. He may be used to everyone bowing to his will but I do not see him being a deviant or a cruel man.” Elizabeth yawned widely. “I am sorry, sister. I must be more tired than I thought.”

  “It is quite all right. Good night, Lizzy. I hope you fall asleep quickly. I was worried about you when you said that you had to venture to the library in the middle of the night, but I am glad you found a good book.” Jane kissed her sister’s cheek and left her room.

  Elizabeth looked around and groaned when she realized she had left her book in the drawing room. She had declined to play cards with the Netherfield party while Mr. Bingley was busy speaking in a quiet corner with Jane, and she had to endure several declarations from Miss Bingley about the list of accomplishments that a woman must have to deserve the word, and something in her air and manner of walking and tone of her voice. Elizabeth snorted at that, as it was all nonsense, and Miss Bingley’s manner of walking was comparable to a peacock, and the tone of her voice was something akin to a cat in heat.

  When Mr. Darcy had declared that a woman improving her mind by extensive reading was truly accomplished, Elizabeth had quickly put her book down, knowing that he was observing her closely.

  Now, she took a few breaths to gather her courage to face them once more and returned downstairs to fetch her book, but hearing the men speak, she paused at the drawing room door and listened.

  “You must see that she is perfect for me, Darcy. I could not imagine a better woman to be my wife.” She heard Mr. Bingley speak.

  "But how can you be so certain? I have met too many of these mute ladies who speak what you wish to hear and I cannot tell if they have an original thought. I stand by my first impressions from the assembly. She might be behaving as everything you wish her to be without showing her true nature and I can imagine Miss Bennet being exactly the same way of any other man who gives her attentions. Shall I try to see if she will accept my attentions? Shall I test her for you to be of service to you? I have a feeling she will say anything she believes I wish to hear from her and perhaps she might want the bigger fish." She heard Darcy mock his friend.

  Elizabeth fumed. She stood at the door for several minutes, even though she could not hear the rest of the conversation, and thought of ways to give Mr. Darcy a piece of her mind. She suddenly heard the doorknob begin to turn and she rushed off to avoid detection but it was too late.

  Mr. Darcy was surprised to find Miss Elizabet
h so near the door when he left the room to give his friend some time to consider his opinions. He had guessed by her reddened face that she had heard his comments and groaned. Not again!

  He quickly caught up to her and pulled her by her good arm to drag her into the billiards room. “I must speak with you. Do not make a scene.”

  “I have nothing to speak with you about, Mr. Darcy. I have never despised a person as much as I do you.” Elizabeth shot back, as soon as he closed the door.

  Darcy paced in front of the door to think and also to block her escape. He ran his fingers through his hair and grunted. “Why do you always hear the worst of my conversations with Bingley? You probably have not heard of any of the praises that I spoke of you, am I correct? Your sister may be vapid and unreadable but I find you most captivating and I cannot stop thinking of you.” He stepped in front of her and looked into her eyes as he gently held both of her upper arms. “You have bewitched me, body and soul, Elizabeth. I love you.” He leaned in and kissed her lips tenderly. “Do you still despise me? Could you ever learn to care for me?” He bent down to attempt to kiss her deeper this time.

  Elizabeth stepped back as his lips touched hers for the second time and broke the intimacy.

  “I truly do believe you are a rake, Mr. Darcy. You confess that you love me but I know you have no wish to marry me. You have stolen several kisses and I know with certainty that your desires are carnal and not honorable. Do not mistake me for some scullery maid who might warm your bed for a coin, sir. Mrs. Nicholls let it slip that Sally was quite welcome in several beds before she was carted off to town, and perhaps you miss having a woman at your disposal. Go find your pleasures elsewhere and let me be!” Elizabeth swerved around him and left him standing alone.

  Darcy growled in frustration and poured himself a large drink, then plopped down onto the nearest chair.

  That woman will drive me mad. She is not qualified to be my wife but I wish for her more than anyone I have met. If only she would agree to be mine in body, I would set her up for life. Good God, why cannot I marry her?