Cowboy Father

by Linda Ford

  She almost fell over her feet as she skidded to a halt inside the door.

  Ethan stood at the stove, stirring potatoes as they browned and tending another pan of frying pork. All five children sat around the table, eating slices of bread and jam. Pa must have taken tea in for Ma.

  “I hope you don’t mind.” Ethan looked half apologetic. “It seemed you could use some help. Can’t be in two places at once…” His voice trailed off.

  She sucked back air laden with the mouth-watering aroma of coffee and fried pork. Did she mind? Yes, a little. Because he kept doing things to make her wish he wasn’t the man she believed him to be. “Not often I see a man at the stove,” she murmured.

  “On the ranch where I work, the cook hurt his hand, and he’d let no one but me help him. He taught me how to cook and wash up. It’s nice that I can put those skills to work here.”

  Oh, why must he sound so friendly, so helpful, so kind, and a dozen other things she didn’t want to acknowledge? “I’m glad you see it as a good thing.”

  “I’m glad if you’re glad.” His grin was crooked, as if he was still uncertain what she truly thought.

  Pa emerged from the bedroom. “Your mother still isn’t feeling well. But she insists I go see those in the community who are sick. You be sure to keep a close eye on her.”

  “Yes, Pa.” Her father sat down, and Ethan placed a cup of coffee before him.

  Stella stepped into the room, her hair brushed into a neat bun. She wore a crisp gray dress.

  “Stella! You shouldn’t be up.”

  “I’m feeling better. I promise I won’t overdo it, but there’s no reason I can’t keep an eye on the children. You have your hands full with those who are ill.” She looked at Ethan. “I heard we had another visitor.

  Adele introduced the pair to each other.

  “Adele didn’t tell me she’d roped you into cooking.”

  Ethan laughed at Stella’s comment. “Like you said, she has her hands full. Thought I’d do what I could to help.”

  Stella’s gaze rested on Adele, full of approval. Adele could almost hear her thoughts. This is the sort of man you should latch onto.

  Except it wasn’t, even though the thought had entered her own mind. She didn’t intend to latch on to any man and certainly not one who had an association with Floyd. What was it they said? Once bitten, twice shy.

  She quickly set the table.

  Before she could offer to serve breakfast, Ethan carried the food to the table. “Breakfast is ready,” he said, sitting down beside Georgie.

  Everyone else was seated, leaving the spot across from Ethan for Adele. Feeling awkward, as if her thoughts were obvious to the others, she took her place.

  Pa glanced around the table. “It’s been a long time since we were blessed with the presence of so many little ones. All of you close your eyes, and I’ll pray for the food.”

  Adele took Jake’s hands and pressed them together. Across the table, Ethan did the same with Georgie.

  She glanced at the man whose attention was on the little boy at his side. His smile seemed so genuine.

  But she would not be easily taken in by either kindness or her own neediness.

  The three older children clasped their hands together and bowed their heads as Pa said grace. His prayer this morning was a little longer than at supper the night before. He prayed for the many who were sick. He prayed for each of the children by name and expressed thanks for their presence and also for the help God had sent for Adele. Finally he gave thanks for the food. “Amen.”

  What would Pa say if she told him she suspected Ethan was part of a robbery?

  The children were quiet as they ate. Pa did most of the talking. “I’m going to visit some sick families.” He gave the names of four. “I’ll ride to as many farms as I can to check on them. Just in case—” He looked at Georgie and Susie. Adele understood what he didn’t say. In case someone had perished and left children as survivors. Or were too weak to care for themselves.

  As soon as he was finished, Pa opened his Bible and read a few verses. He closed the Good Book, set it aside, and rose to leave. “I don’t know when I’ll be back.” He glanced around the table, then brought his gaze to Adele. “I realize I am leaving you with a load. Will you be all right?”

  “Yes, Pa, I’ll manage. Like you said, I have help now.”

  “Be sure you let the others take some of your work.”

  “I will, Pa.”

  “You’re like your mother. She thinks she can handle anything that comes her way. And she always has.” He looked toward the bedroom. “I expect she’ll be up and about soon.” He grabbed his hat and left.

  Susie had been studying Stella throughout the conversation.

  Adele wondered what was going on in her quick mind. “Ethan found us. We weren’t lost, but we were all alone. Donny said Kade found you. Were you lost?”

  Stella gave Susie a tender smile. “We weren’t lost, but we were very sick. I was too sick to make Blossom and Donny anything to eat and too weak to make a fire in the stove even though it was bitterly cold.”

  Adele knew there was more to it than that. Adele’s sister, Flora, had been with Kade when they stopped at the Norwood house where they discovered Stella and her children. There was no food and no fuel in the house. If Kade and Flora hadn’t stopped to check on them…

  Adele wouldn’t think of what might have happened. She gathered up the dishes and took them to the dishpan. Ethan had already filled it with hot water and had his hands submerged.

  “I’ll wash,” he said.

  She was about to protest when he spoke again.

  “Remember what you promised your pa. That you would let others help you.”

  “Very well. Let me take care of the children, then I’ll dry.”

  She lifted Jake to the floor. The others were already on their feet and scrambling for the door. Stella followed.

  Adele made sure Stella was comfortable in a chair outside the house, then returned to dry the dishes.

  Neither she nor Ethan spoke. Tension crackled across her nerves.

  Ethan’s hands stilled. “Does it bother you so much to have me in your kitchen?”

  How was she to answer that? It wasn’t just her kitchen where his presence bothered her. It was the house, the sickroom, the town…even the entire Territory.

  Ethan saw how jerky Adele’s movements were and the way she worried her bottom lip. Her question last night about working for a rancher down in Texas made him wonder if she suspected his reason for being there. But how could she? He was certain she hadn’t noticed him at her husband’s funeral. Perhaps she was wary of any stranger. Maybe wondered if they were a friend of her husband’s.

  “I guess I’m not used to a man helping in the kitchen.”

  He could have told her how weak an answer that was but decided to let it go in the hopes of gaining a little trust from her.

  “So, six Kinsley sisters. Sounds like a handful.”

  Her look challenged him, and he wished he had chosen a different way to divert her.

  “Ma and Pa never once made us think that. They not only said how blessed they were to have us, but they lived it, showing us love and kindness even when we were difficult.”

  He let that pass, though it was on the tip of his tongue to ask if she had been difficult, and in what way? He looked out the window to where the children played. Susie entertained Blossom with her doll. Georgie and Jake were turning over rocks and examining them. Donny sat in the corner, studying the hole he’d dug.

  “I can understand how they would think children who came to them through means other than birth were a blessing. Like those two.”

  Her gaze followed his, and she smiled. Too bad she didn’t smile more often around him. It turned her from dour to beautiful. But then, perhaps it was a mercy she didn’t. He might have a hard time remembering who she really was and why he had followed her.

  “I expect Ma and Pa will adopt them. If they do,
I plan to help raise them along with Jake.”

  He turned so fast he sprayed water at her. “Sorry,” he managed. “Why do you assume they will stay here? I was the one who found them. I intend to keep them if there is no family who wants them, and I didn’t see anything in their belongings to indicate there is. I’ll give them a home.” He scrubbed the last pot with enough vigor that she plucked it from him.

  “They would have a good home here.”

  “They’d have a good home with me. I’d see to that.”

  “I hate to point out the obvious, but you have no home.”

  “I will get one.” He ground out each word.

  “How long do you think it will take to achieve that?” She sounded so logical that he couldn’t answer without acknowledging that he knew it was a problem.

  He dumped out the wash water and wiped the dishpan. Hung the cloth to dry. “I told you, I’m doing a job for my boss. When I’ve successfully completed it, he’s promised me a nice bonus. Enough to enable me to buy a piece of property. Like I said, I’ve admired the land around here. Thought I might settle in the Territory.” Only now he thought about getting as far away from Glory as possible just so no one could take the kids from him.

  “I see.” Her words were very low. “Seems to me there is still one major factor in your disfavor. You can’t run a ranch or farm a farm and look after the children. Have you considered that?”

  “Of course I have. I expect I could hire someone.”

  “I suppose you could. They might not care for the children like I do though.”

  She wasn’t going to let this go. “Then I guess I’ll have to marry you. That way we both get to keep the children.”

  The color left her face. She opened her mouth and closed it. The only sound that came out was a little squeak. And then her eyes blazed. “Marry me? As if marriage means nothing more than someone to run your house.”

  “And tend the children you profess to care about.” Why couldn’t he stop himself from continuing this foolishness? Perhaps because he wished she was someone he could admit an interest in rather than the wife of a thief and likely the one who knew where the money was.

  “Profess.” She sputtered. “And here I was just beginning to think you might be a nice man.” She grabbed the kettle and rushed out the door and into the addition.

  She’d started to think he was a nice man? And he’d spoiled it by saying things he didn’t mean and now regretted. And not just because she would not trust him now.

  But also because he wanted her to see that he was a nice man. Except nice men did not say such hurtful things.

  Was there some way he could undo the damage he’d done?

  Five minutes of regret and musing did not provide Ethan with an answer for how to fix things between him and Adele apart from apologizing. He had no other choice.

  Cal and Stella sat in the sunshine, watching the children and talking. At least they wouldn’t have overheard his ranting.

  He followed Adele to the addition where she prepared a steam tent for Rocky. “Can we talk?”

  “I’m rather busy at the moment.”

  “As soon as you’re done?”

  “Then I have to see to my mother. She’s not getting any better.”

  “Adele, please. Give me a chance.”

  She gave him a look as hot as the steam coming from the basin of water. “I gave you a chance.”

  Rocky, despite his labored breathing, shifted his eyes from one of them to the other. “Did I miss a fight?”

  “You didn’t miss a thing.” Adele held the sheet and indicated Rocky should retreat under it.

  “I think I did.”

  “Don’t talk.” Adele must have realized how cross she sounded, for she looked away from Ethan and slowly filled her lungs. When she spoke again, her voice was gentle and calm. “Just breathe. I’ll leave you for now so I can take care of my mother.” She grabbed the empty kettle and hurried to the house.

  Ethan stayed right on her heels, knowing she’d have to refill the kettle and wait for it to boil.

  She made as much noise as possible as she filled it, so much so that Stella called.

  “Is everything all right in there?”

  Adele went to the window to answer. “I’m just in a hurry.” She kept her back to Ethan as she needlessly tidied a shelf.

  He was not going to be deterred. “Adele, I’m sorry for what I said. I regret my hasty words. I hadn’t expected to be challenged about wanting to keep the children, and I allowed my shock and surprise to make me say things I shouldn’t have. I did not mean to mock marriage nor to question that you care about the children. I’m humbly asking for your forgiveness.”

  She continued to rearrange objects on the shelf—moving a tiny green jar from the right side to the left, centering a lump of clay that might have been something a young child fashioned, placing two stubby candles to the right. Her fingers lingered on each item as if reluctant to release it.

  As if reluctant to accept his apology and forgive him.

  It mattered deeply to him that she did. More deeply than the hope of trying to find the missing money.

  More deeply than he could admit and certainly more than he could allow.

  He shook his head. Why was he even thinking this? All he wanted was to apologize and admit he’d spoken wrongly. He’d done that.

  What else mattered?

  7

  Adele knew she had to forgive Ethan’s remarks. But it wasn’t him she was angry with. It was herself. His suggestion that they marry, even though it was insincere, blasted open a locked door in her heart. All her life she had dreamed of a home of her own. Not that she didn’t know she was loved and cherished as a Kinsley daughter, but something about being abandoned as a baby had left a hollow in her heart that she hoped to fill by having a loving husband and half a dozen happy children. That dream had been dashed within weeks of her marriage to Floyd. She loved Jake fiercely, but having Susie and Georgie arrive, orphaned and alone except for Ethan, had given her hope that she might at least enjoy three children.

  Marrying a man like Ethan would be the fulfillment of her dream.

  Adele, she told herself. You married a man like Ethan, and look where that got you.

  She continued to rearrange the things on the window ledge as she fought an inner battle and prayed. God, help me keep my head. Don’t let me make another mistake just because I long for a home of my own.

  She breathed slowly as she sorted her thoughts into place, then turned. Ethan was closer to her than she expected, and she gasped. She couldn’t talk to him when he was inches away. When she could see the regret in his blue eyes, the tiny white lines fanning from the corners of each. It was a face you could trust.

  Shocked at her judgment and how faulty it was, she edged past him. When she’d increased the distance to a safe six feet, she faced him. “Ethan, I forgive you. I just hope…” She stopped herself. Forgiveness was enough.

  “What do you hope?” His words were soft, as enticing as a sweet treat.

  How did he do that? How did he make her forget every word of caution?

  He pressed for an answer. “I’d like to know.”

  She shrugged. “It’s nothing. Except I wouldn’t like the children to see or sense any tension between us.”

  He nodded. “I agree. I’ll do my best.”

  “Me too.” A weight fell from her shoulders even though she knew the matter regarding the children had not been resolved. The persistent voice she thought had been silenced mocked her. Marrying Ethan would mean they could both keep the children. It couldn’t be any worse than being married to Floyd had been.

  A mistake she had vowed she would not repeat. Not even to keep Susie and Georgie. Besides, the facts were on her side. She had a home. Ethan did not. She had Ma and Pa to help. Ethan had no one.

  The kettle steamed. “I need to take care of Ma.” She carried the kettle to the bedroom and stuffed back a gasp at how Ma labored to breathe. “You should h
ave called or banged on the wall. I’ll get you a bell so you can signal me when you need help.”

  “I knew you were busy.” Each word wheezed from Ma’s right lungs.

  Adele set up a steam tent and helped Ma to a chair. She was so weak, Adele had to hold her in place and sit under the sheet with her. The air filled with damp, camphor-fumed steam. Adele felt like she was suffocating, but Ma needed the warm moisture, so she endured the discomfort.

  The steam stopped, and Adele poured in more hot water from the kettle.

  Ma continued to struggle for every breath.

  God, please don’t let her die. Please. I beg you.

  Faint sounds came from outside the room. A cry. She recognized Jake’s voice. Was he hurt? Calling for her? She’d neglected him badly the last few days, but at least he seemed happy enough to play with the other children, and Stella was watching them. Adele knew he was safe.

  Then a deeper voice reached her ears. Ethan. Jake stopped crying. Had Ethan comforted him? Adele relaxed. The man might be a thief, might be one of Floyd’s associates, but he was good with the children.

  She remained with her mother until the kettle was empty and steam no longer filled the tent. She lifted the sheet, dried Ma’s face, and helped her back to bed. Despite the half hour spent breathing in the steam, Ma still struggled to breathe, so much so that she couldn’t talk.

  Please, God. Please, God. Adele prayed continuously. She tried to think what else she could do. More steam. More camphor. The cough mixture Ma concocted. The liniment rub she used. But none of them were helping.

  Afraid to leave her mother for more than a moment, she rushed out to the kitchen. Ethan was at the stove waiting for a pot of water to boil. Jake perched on his hip and babbled a story.

  Ethan looked up. “You don’t need to tell me. I see it in your face. Your mother is worse.”

  She nodded. “Struggling to breathe despite the steam.”

  “Rocky too.”

  Her gaze darted to the door. She couldn’t be both places.