Bill's Lapse

by W. W. Jacobs

you with pleasure."

  "Would you let me be 'ung for the sake of a few pounds, Ginger?" sesBill, looking at 'im reproach-fully. "I'm a desprit man, Ginger, and Imust 'ave that money."

  Afore pore Ginger could move he suddenly clapped 'is hand over 'is mouthand flung 'im on the bed. Ginger was like a child in 'is hands, althoughhe struggled like a madman, and in five minutes 'e was laying there witha towel tied round his mouth and 'is arms and legs tied up with the cordoff of Sam's chest.

  "I'm very sorry, Ginger," ses Bill, as 'e took a little over eight poundsout of Ginger's pocket. "I'll pay you back one o' these days, if I can.If you'd got a rope round your neck same as I 'ave you'd do the same asI've done."

  He lifted up the bedclothes and put Ginger inside and tucked 'im up.Ginger's face was red with passion and 'is eyes starting out of his 'ead.

  "Eight and six is fifteen," ses Bill, and just then he 'eard somebodycoming up the stairs. Ginger 'eard it, too, and as Peter Russet cameinto the room 'e tried all 'e could to attract 'is attention by rolling'is 'ead from side to side.

  "Why, 'as Ginger gone to bed?" ses Peter. "Wot's up, Ginger?"

  "He's all right," ses Bill; "just a bit of a 'eadache."

  Peter stood staring at the bed, and then 'e pulled the clothes off andsaw pore Ginger all tied up, and making awful eyes at 'im to undo him.

  "I 'ad to do it, Peter," ses Bill. "I wanted some more money to escapewith, and 'e wouldn't lend it to me. I 'aven't got as much as I wantnow. You just came in in the nick of time. Another minute and you'd ha'missed me. 'Ow much 'ave you got?"

  "Ah, I wish I could lend you some, Bill," ses Peter Russet, turning pale,"but I've 'ad my pocket picked; that's wot I came back for, to get somefrom Ginger."

  Bill didn't say a word.

  "You see 'ow it is, Bill," ses Peter, edging back toward the door; "threemen laid 'old of me and took every farthing I'd got."

  "Well, I can't rob you, then," ses Bill, catching 'old of 'im."Whoever's money this is," he ses, pulling a handful out o' Peter'spocket, "it can't be yours. Now, if you make another sound I'll knockyour 'ead off afore I tie you up."

  "Don't tie me up, Bill," ses Peter, struggling.

  "I can't trust you," ses Bill, dragging 'im over to the washstand andtaking up the other towel; "turn round."

  Peter was a much easier job than Ginger Dick, and arter Bill 'ad done 'im'e put 'im in alongside o' Ginger and covered 'em up, arter first tyingboth the gags round with some string to prevent 'em slipping.

  "Mind, I've only borrowed it," he ses, standing by the side o' the bed;"but I must say, mates, I'm disappointed in both of you. If either ofyou 'ad 'ad the misfortune wot I've 'ad, I'd have sold the clothes off myback to 'elp you. And I wouldn't 'ave waited to be asked neither."

  He stood there for a minute very sorrowful, and then 'e patted both their'eads and went downstairs. Ginger and Peter lay listening for a bit, andthen they turned their pore bound-up faces to each other and tried totalk with their eyes.

  Then Ginger began to wriggle and try and twist the cords off, but 'emight as well 'ave tried to wriggle out of 'is skin. The worst of it wasthey couldn't make known their intentions to each other, and when PeterRusset leaned over 'im and tried to work 'is gag off by rubbing it upagin 'is nose, Ginger pretty near went crazy with temper. He bangedPeter with his 'ead, and Peter banged back, and they kept it up tillthey'd both got splitting 'eadaches, and at last they gave up in despairand lay in the darkness waiting for Sam.

  And all this time Sam was sitting in the Red Lion, waiting for them. Hesat there quite patient till twelve o'clock and then walked slowly 'ome,wondering wot 'ad happened and whether Bill had gone.

  Ginger was the fust to 'ear 'is foot on the stairs, and as he came intothe room, in the darkness, him an' Peter Russet started shaking their bedin a way that scared old Sam nearly to death. He thought it was Billcarrying on agin, and 'e was out o' that door and 'arf-way downstairsafore he stopped to take breath. He stood there trembling for about tenminutes, and then, as nothing 'appened, he walked slowly upstairs agin ontiptoe, and as soon as they heard the door creak Peter and Ginger madethat bed do everything but speak.

  "Is that you, Bill?" ses old Sam, in a shaky voice, and standing readyto dash downstairs agin.

  There was no answer except for the bed, and Sam didn't know whether Billwas dying or whether 'e 'ad got delirium trimmings. All 'e did know wasthat 'e wasn't going to sleep in that room. He shut the door gently andwent downstairs agin, feeling in 'is pocket for a match, and, not findingone, 'e picked out the softest stair 'e could find and, leaning his 'eadagin the banisters, went to sleep.

  "Picked out the softest stair 'e could find."]

  It was about six o'clock when 'e woke up, and broad daylight. He wasstiff and sore all over, and feeling braver in the light 'e steppedsoftly upstairs and opened the door. Peter and Ginger was waiting for'im, and as he peeped in 'e saw two things sitting up in bed with their'air standing up all over like mops and their faces tied up withbandages. He was that startled 'e nearly screamed, and then 'e steppedinto the room and stared at 'em as if he couldn't believe 'is eyes.

  "Is that you, Ginger?" he ses. "Wot d'ye mean by making sights ofyourselves like that? 'Ave you took leave of your senses?"

  Ginger and Peter shook their 'eads and rolled their eyes, and then Samsee wot was the matter with 'em. Fust thing 'e did was to pull out 'isknife and cut Ginger's gag off, and the fust thing Ginger did was to call'im every name 'e could lay his tongue to.

  "You wait a moment," he screams, 'arf crying with rage. "You wait till Iget my 'ands loose and I'll pull you to pieces. The idea o' leaving uslike this all night, you old crocodile. I 'eard you come in. I'll payyou."

  Sam didn't answer 'im. He cut off Peter Russet's gag, and Peter Russetcalled 'im 'arf a score o' names without taking breath.

  "And when Ginger's finished I'll 'ave a go at you," he ses. "Cut offthese lines."

  "At once, d'ye hear?" ses Ginger. "Oh, you wait till I get my 'ands onyou."

  Sam didn't answer 'em; he shut up 'is knife with a click and then 'e satat the foot o' the bed on Ginger's feet and looked at 'em. It wasn't thefust time they'd been rude to 'im, but as a rule he'd 'ad to put up withit. He sat and listened while Ginger swore 'imself faint.

  "That'll do," he ses, at last; "another word and I shall put thebedclothes over your 'ead. Afore I do anything more I want to know wotit's all about."

  Peter told 'im, arter fust calling 'im some more names, because Gingerwas past it, and when 'e'd finished old Sam said 'ow surprised he wasat them for letting Bill do it, and told 'em how they ought to 'aveprevented it. He sat there talking as though 'e enjoyed the sound of 'isown voice, and he told Peter and Ginger all their faults and said wotsorrow it caused their friends. Twice he 'ad to throw the bedclothesover their 'eads because o' the noise they was making.

  "Old Sam said 'ow surprised he was at them for lettingBill do it."]

  "_Are you going--to undo--us?_" ses Ginger, at last.

  "No, Ginger," ses old Sam; "in justice to myself I couldn't do it. Arterwot you've said--and arter wot I've said--my life wouldn't be safe.Besides which, you'd want to go shares in my money."

  He took up 'is chest and marched downstairs with it, and about 'arf anhour arterward the landlady's 'usband came up and set 'em free. As soonas they'd got the use of their legs back they started out to look forSam, but they didn't find 'im for nearly a year, and as for Bill, theynever set eyes on 'im again.