by Jayne Blue
13
Lyric
* * *
Just when you thought you had a damn handle on your life, you completely lose your grip.
I was over Bo Parker. I was so over him, I wanted him to burn in hell.
Yeah, that was healthy.
Ugh.
I hadn’t slept since I ran into him at Tracy and Maddox’s house.
I knew a few Dark Saints. They were a fixture in Port Az. But other than Tracy and Maddox’s wedding day, which was like a Dark Saint Biker Convention, I kept my distance.
Some local businesses owners I knew were deeply connected to The Saints and the off-book security they provided. I steered clear. I had been burned by Bo and he was the last link I wanted with them.
Bo Parker was there, right in front of me. And all the feelings I used to have – the love, the attraction, the hurt, and above all, the question why – mixed up in my chest with the sight of him.
I didn’t sleep for two nights after seeing him. I had to remind myself how he’d left my life in wreckage. How strong I’d become since then.
I had to remember my baby boy, Hugo. He was my center. I was making my life work for Hugo and me. No other man would ever hurt me the way Bo Parker had. Bo didn’t deserve Hugo or me.
I had work to do, dammit. I had dreams to crush. Work had saved me before and it would save me now.
The opening of Wilde at Home had been a huge endeavor. Now I had to be sure it stayed open and grew. My dreams were big, my heart was full, and my life was mine. I refused to lose any more sleep about Bo.
The third night after seeing him, with his rougher look, and his harder lines, I finally slept. And then I fucking dreamt about him! No matter what, Bo Parker was going to derail me, even when I slept.
I got Hugo off to school. He loved preschool and I knew next year, when it came time for kindergarten, he’d rock that too. He was social, curious, and, I was proud to say, a little badass. He was perfect in my eyes. I couldn’t believe how my baby was growing into a boy. He didn’t need Bo either, dammit. He didn’t.
Hugo, Papus, and my businesses. That’s what I needed to keep in the center of my field of vision.
My shops were open until nine Monday through Thursday. Fridays we stayed open until ten, just like most of the retail places in this district of Port Az. Part of the city revitalization was about having great places to go in the downtown area. I was proud that my shops were a cool place to visit when you were hitting the town. We even got tourists.
Sundays we did eleven to five p.m. It was my only short day. But that didn’t mean I sacrificed time with Hugo. I got him to school every day. I picked him up after and we had a little snack time. Bri Bri took care of him until dinner and then we had dinner together. I read him a story in bed while juggling the demands of the store.
Keeping the apartment upstairs made it all possible. I could pop up and be with him at a moment’s notice and then come back down to the shop.
I’d carved out this life with Hugo. And it was damn good.
I hadn’t had a serious man in my life since Bo and I didn’t need one. Except maybe that was why I was having erotic dreams about a man I hated.
It was Friday night. I tucked Hugo in. Bri Bri was there for the next two hours while I finished up in both stores.
“He may ask for one more story.”
“I don’t mind,” Bri Bri said, I was so lucky to have her. When I didn’t, Papus was still good in a pinch.
Friday nights were busy nights in downtown Port Az. It was fun to see couples come in and girl’s night out groups shop together.
I checked the orders at Wilde at Home. We had a lot you could buy in the store and take home. And there was a lot that needed to be shipped or delivered. I fantasized that someday, when Hugo could drive, he could work for the family business. He could carry the big stuff!
“It was a good day.” Pam, the assistant manager at Wilde at Home was doing a great job. I had an assistant manager at both stores. They were my right hands in both places.
We were growing so fast. I was constantly doing the math on adding sales associates. I’d also hired two new part-time stockers and drivers. It was a lot to manage but I loved every second of it.
Sometimes new employees would mistake me for a fellow college kid. But I was the boss. I got shit done.
“Looks like we need to move that display of pottery closer to the front. It’s too hidden back here and I was sure it would go a little faster than it has.”
“Okay, move the linen sale stuff, you think?”
“Yeah, that’s played out.”
We were constantly changing it up, experimenting with our displays. If I couldn’t sell an item, it was because it just wasn’t planted in the right spot in the store. I loved that part. Finding a gem and then showing people how it could work in their homes.
“You good to close in a few?”
“Yep.”
“Okay, there’s a bit of a last-minute rush at BWC. I need to get over there.”
“Yep, I’ll lock up. See you tomorrow.”
I hustled over to Bohemian Wraps, my first store, and found it was packed with people. We were only a half hour to close but sometimes, when the restaurants nearby were full, customers would walk in with their buzzers and just shop until tables opened.
It was a synergy between the businesses that kept us all profitable. It was a little community, too.
I walked to the back and my new regular had returned, sporting the jacket he’d bought the other day.
“Hi there, Lyric. Thought I’d show you how it looked in action.” Hex winked at me. He was flirting. I got that. I usually shot that shit down as fast as I could.
But Hex was persistent. He’d been in every few days for the last two weeks. Sometimes he brought something to sell on consignment, sometimes, like the other day, to buy something. Once last week he’d even got deep in conversation with Hugo.
I thought back to the moment with a smile. His patch said Hawks. He wasn’t a Saint. Lord knows I’d had enough of them. Maybe that was a good thing.
“So, you’re almost five,” he’d said to Hugo. “That’s pretty cool. Almost what? Kindergarten?”
“Yep.”
Hugo seemed to like him. Though Hugo liked a lot of people. He had zero creep radar because he’d always been around the store. People came in and out of his life.
Maybe I reacted so strongly to Bo because I didn’t have a man in my life. Maybe, despite how busy I was, I was lonely. So instead of brushing off the flirtation, I fanned the flame a little.
What could it hurt?
“It looks good on you.”
Hex was cute. I had to admit that. He had a strong jaw, a little scruff on it, and he was wiry and in shape.
He stepped closer. Maybe too close. I squelched my natural instinct to close off. If I was going to stop dreaming about a man I knew was no good, maybe I needed to find a replacement.
“You look really pretty in that blouse.”
He got closer. I forced a smile instead of waving it off.
I was trying, really trying, but I just didn’t feel it with this guy. He upped the offensive and put a finger up to the first button of my silk blouse. I was so shocked I didn’t move fast enough.
He thought it was okay to feel me up because I’d allowed a tiny bit of flirting? This wasn’t working for me.
“Ah, thanks. I’ve got some stuff to check on by the display.”
I turned and walked fast to the front of the store, so we wouldn’t be alone. Hex stayed close on my heels. At least we weren’t in the back room anymore. That was something.
“Where’s Hugo? I miss my little buddy.”
“In bed already. So, what are you looking for today?”
I was trying to put the ketchup back in the bottle with this guy.
“You.” He stepped closer again. This time I was backed up to the store window. Mother eff. I scanned the store. While I was debating my interest in Hex, m
y customers had funneled out. I wondered for a second where the rest of my staff was. I needed to get out of this awkward dance.
“Uh, I think you’ve got the wrong idea.”
“I think I’ve got a lot of ideas.” Blech. Oh God.
“Sorry, I’m just not really into … ”
Hex was less than an inch from my face. My back was up against the store window. And bam! he landed a kiss me on my mouth. I tried to dodge it but failed. Thankfully the kiss ended as fast as it began.
“We can take it slow, baby.”
“Uh, I’ve got some work. Thanks for coming by.”
With that, I effectively ran away from the situation. Not the most boss-like behavior. I had tried. I really had, to see if I had some attraction to this guy. But it was a hard no.
“Back soon, you don’t scare me that easily.”
Hex sauntered out of my store. I was the most awkward woman in the world, apparently. Only men who crushed my heart and dumped me got me hot in my dreams.
I found Cecily, the sales associate who was assigned to close up. We’d gone from busy to dead. I knew she had plans with her boyfriend. At least someone around here did. I could close up and forget my failed attempts at flirting by working.
“Hey, we’re finally on top of the rush. I can finish up if you want to cut out.”
“Really? Thank you. I think we’re catching a movie.”
“Cool. Have fun.”
I was alone in the store. It was about ten minutes to close.
I started to feel more like myself, straightening up, and winding down our operation. Then one final straggler walked in.
Fuck. The air shifted. I knew before I saw who’d just entered my store. I turned around to face him head-on. Dammit, I wasn’t the one who ran.
“What are you doing here?”
It was Bo Parker. Handsome, sexy, asshole, Bo Parker.
“Who was that man who just left?”
“Excuse me? You mean one of my customers?”
“No, I mean that scum Devil’s Hawk who just had his hands all over you.”
“You’re back for five minutes and you’re spying on me?”
I was livid. My emotions bubbled up like hot lava about to blow.
“It’s hardly spying when you’re in the front window.”
“Get the fuck out of my store. You’ve got zero right to be here. I owe you nothing.”
“Lyric, he’s dangerous. Hawks aren’t like Dark Saints. You could get hurt.”
“The only hurt I’ve gotten at the hands of a biker was you, Bo. So mind your own damn business and disappear. You’re good at that.”
“Lyric, I had no choice.”
“Please.” I shook my head. I didn’t want to hear his story or excuse.
“I never would have left you if there was another way.”
While I was a tornado of rage, directed straight at Bo, he was quiet.
His body was still. He was a mountain and I was a mess.
“Fuck you.” I put a hand up to strike him. He caught it.
We stayed there like that, for half a second maybe. I was trapped in a force field, attracted and enraged.
I’d tried to work up something with Hex and there was nothing. Yet here, among the anger at Bo, was that deeper thing. A connection that wanted to reestablish itself without my brain being consulted.
Then we did.
He pulled me forward with the hand I’d raised to strike him. It was fast, almost violent. I didn’t resist. I didn’t want to. And we kissed. Our hard, angry, even desperate lips found each other. His tongue was on mine. I felt a ragged cry escape my throat. It jolted me out of the spell that Bo had always cast on me when we were together.
“No, that’s it. That’s bullshit. Get out.”
I stepped back. I put my emotional armor back in place. It had fallen for a second. I had let a shield down. But I had not let it go.
“Let me explain.”
Before I could tell him that I did not care to hear his life story, Hugo bolted into the store. He was full of energy and playful affection, like a bear cub. He nearly knocked me down when he got to my leg.
“Bri Bri says I can’t stay up late! I want you to do one more story.”
I looked from Hugo to Bo.
Shit.
I wasn’t about to let Bo screw with my family, my heart, my life.
“I thought I said only one more.”
“Come on.” Hugo gave me his best puppy eyes.
“Okay, let me lock up.”
I ignored Bo but felt his eyes on both of us. Hugo realized I wasn’t alone and looked back at Bo. Hugo took Bo from head to toe.
“You’re bigger than The Rock,” Hugo said to Bo. And it was true. But I wanted this over. I wanted this scene to rewind somehow. Where was Bri?
“You’re pretty big too,” Bo said to Hugo. His voice was drained of menace. It was low, but calm.
“Biggest four-year-old on the planet!” Hugo put his arms up and flexed his muscles. It was a game we played. He looked at me for my standard response. I had to be normal; I had to make both of them think this meeting was no big deal.
“And also MARS!” I said and he giggled. I didn’t want anything about this moment to stick in Hugo’s head. Bri raced in and interrupted. Thank God.
“Come on, mister.” She grabbed Hugo’s hand.
“Sorry, Lyric. He’s getting too fast for me.” Bri smiled at Bo and started to direct Hugo back to the stairs.
“No problem. I’ll be up in a minute.”
Okay, we were okay. This was over.
“I’m counting, Mommy! One, two, three ... ” Hugo continued the count as Bri corralled him back to the apartment. Shit. He’d called me mommy.
“That’s your son?” Bo’s eyes were awash in emotion.
The strong stature he’d had in the face of my rage, had disappeared. I knew he was trying to put things together.
And I wasn’t having it. He didn’t get to fuck with my life. No matter how much my body responded to his. No.
So I thought fast.
I lied.
“Well, not really, he’s my baby brother. My mother had him. She died several years ago and I’m all he has. It makes him feel better to call me mom.”
“Your mom died. I’m so sorry. I know you were close.”
“You don’t know a thing. Please leave.”
Bo flinched. Like the hand I’d raised against him finally landed on his cheek. He felt a sting now. Good.
“I will. Yes. But Lyric. That Hawk is a danger to you and your, uh, nephew. Hugo?”
“I can take care of myself and Hugo.”
Bo turned away. He walked out of the store. I locked the door behind him.
Had he believed me? The last thing I wanted was Bo Parker to live happily ever after with my son. He didn’t deserve Hugo. He didn’t deserve me. I had no idea what Bo would do if he knew the truth about Hugo. And I didn’t want to find out.
I put a hand up to my lips.
I could almost still feel him on my lips. I wanted to collapse on the floor and cry it out.
But Hugo was waiting.
I’d promised him a story. Hugo came first, the store second. I would not give myself time to collapse over drama with my old love, my first love, and if I was being honest, my only love.
Bo would never know Hugo was his.
14
Bo
* * *
Maddox and I were on patrol. That’s what we did. That much hadn’t changed at least since I’d been gone.
Port Az was Dark Saint territory, and to prove it, we were on the streets. Every night. We kept the shit out.
People were used to our bikes rolling through. They may not love the Dark Saints but they liked that we kept an eye out, and we shoed away the vermin.
Sometimes it wasn’t pretty. Most times it wasn’t pretty.
I fell into the rhythm of my old life in Port Az, almost like I hadn’t left. Almost.
It wasn�
�t long before I found myself on Copper Street. I had to see her store. I knew I hoped for glimpse of Lyric too. Seeing her that time at Maddox’s had only made me more curious. I had to have more of her. Even if it was from far away.
And I did see her from far away first. She was walking from one store to the other. At fucking night, by the way. Why did she think that was a good idea?
She was so beautiful and so in charge. I could see that. But also, she was still so soft looking. It worried me to think about her walking at night, even that small distance.
I made another pass around the block. If she insisted on being out at night, I’d be sure she nothing happened. At least tonight nothing would happen. I wondered what had happened the other nights. I wondered why she hadn’t gone away to school like she dreamed about.
I wondered at how much work it had taken to turn the pawnshop into this new place, and then to have a second store. She was amazing still, always.
It was douche, it was stalkerish, it was crazy – I knew all this. I parked my bike across the street and just stared at what she’d built. I hated E.Z. in that moment. He’d cut me out of my own life and it had gone on without me. She’d gone on without me.
Then I saw her again, at the display window. And I saw something else. She was with another man. Of course she was. I couldn’t expect her to be alone. Why should she be?
The man kissed her. Son of fucking bitch. Why was I torturing myself like this? My life would be a lot easier if I didn’t have a clue what she was up to. At least in the years I was away I could pretend she was just as I left her. She was suspended in my memory. She was the Lyric I loved. This was clearly a lie I’d told myself to survive.
The kiss was brief, thank fucking God.
And then the asshole walked out of the store. It was a mother fucking Hawk? She was dating a Hawk? I felt my blood boil over. She had to know how stupid that was. She had to be warned. Maybe she thought all bikers were like me, or like Maddox. Hawks were a different sort and they were dangerous scum.
She fucking let that Hawk kiss her? What else were they doing? These things were playing in my head when I barged into her store.
I tried to warn her but she was on fire with rage. It was beautiful to watch, mesmerizing. Except I was the person who had royally pissed her off. She was in the right. I was wrong. Even if I had my reasons, they didn’t matter.