by Rosie Clarke
Mick looked at her in concern. ‘You look blooming, Sally. Are they still worried you might get ill again?’
‘Oh, my family and friends never stop telling me to rest,’ Sally told him, laughing. ‘I have some news. Did you know I’d found my mother? We haven’t met yet because she is married and lives some distance away – but she has written to me and she is coming up to see us with her new husband when she can…’ the excitement was in her eyes with a hint of apprehension too.
‘Well, that is something to look forward to,’ Mick said and for a moment his gaze looked bleak. ‘We all need something…’
Sally glanced at him as they left the store and he summoned a cab to take them to the restaurant he owned that he knew she really enjoyed. She glimpsed the pain he was holding inside, her voice was gentle as she asked, ‘What of you, Mick? How are you these days?’
‘Bloody awful if you want the truth,’ he said. ‘I know I’m a fool, Sally. I was always too old for her – but, in France, I thought I might stand a chance – stupid of course.’
‘I don’t think it was stupid. Maggie liked you a lot and you helped her through a bad time. Perhaps if you hadn’t been sent to another area you might have spoken to her of your feelings and, if she had committed to you, that would have been it,’ Sally spoke gently. ‘Maggie told me she felt empty after you went away and she just spent all her time working and that led to her illness. She knows now that you were wounded and too ill to write during that time, but she felt alone and abandoned – and I feel guilty about that, Mick. I couldn’t visit as I’d wanted because I was ill too. Maggie needed someone and Colin came along…’ She hesitated, then, ‘From her latest letter, I believe she really cares for him and she’s happy.’
‘That’s good,’ Mick said and smiled sadly. ‘All I ever wanted was to see her smile.’
‘I think she smiles a lot. She told me that she has been helping Colin with his exercises and he is getting some small movement in his legs now. He isn’t walking or anything like that, but he can stand better now and he can manage to get from the chair to the bed easier…’ She caught her breath as she saw the flash of hurt in his eyes, but then it was gone. ‘To my surprise, it seems they have quite a good marriage.’
Mick looked at her long and hard. ‘And I know why you told me that, Sally Harper. You’re a good friend and you’re right. Maggie is wed to another and I’ve lost her – but if he ever hurts her, I’ll break his damned neck.’
She touched his hand as the cab came to a halt. ‘I can’t tell you that you will forget her,’ she said gently, ‘but in time it may get easier.’
‘Ah, why didn’t I marry you, Sally darlin’?’ he said in his old easy way as he helped her from the cab. ‘I should never have let that Ben Harper steal you from under my nose.’
‘I wouldn’t have suited you, Mick,’ she said gently. ‘And I know you’ll come through this, my friend. You are strong and healthy and clever and you’ve lots to live for. Just give yourself time.’
‘I’ve a good friend in you,’ he said and he was smiling in his old way. ‘And I like Ben – even if he did steal you from me, but Maggie touched my heart like no other. I can’t explain. I wanted to wrap her in silk and keep her safe from all harm.’ He paused, then, ‘I loved her and I still do, Sally. I suppose I always shall – but if she is happy that is all I want.’
‘It was an emotional time out there,’ Sally said and smiled as they were shown to their favourite table. ‘You are one of the friends I trust most, Mick, and if I knew how, I’d make you happy.’
‘I’m surviving and I shall go on,’ he told her. ‘Forget my woes, Sally Harper, and concentrate, I brought you here to work. Tell me what you think of everything and don’t hold back. I need your wise words.’
Mick had instructed her to forget his woes and so she dropped the subject, but she knew that he would not forget the woman he loved. His uncertainty had kept him from asking her to wed him in France and now it was too late. He might regret that for the rest of his life, but he would make a future for himself somehow.
Blocking her emotion, she offered him her assessment of the menu and the food they tried, all of which was good but not as perfect as before the war. There was probably little he could do to improve things at the moment, but she gave him the truth, as he’d asked. The truth often hurt but holding back just made things worse. Neither the food nor the service was quite as excellent as it had been and would need to be improved. Now Mick was back in the country he might be able to keep a closer eye on things. At least he was getting on with his life as best he could – and that was something they all had to do.
She felt a sudden and intense longing for Ben. He’d been away nearly a month this time and she prayed he would get back for Christmas. She wanted him to see the magical windows that Mr Marco had dressed. The main one had a Christmas tree with lights and lots of parcels beneath. There was a backdrop of a roaring fire and children playing with toys and a puppy. A soldier’s coat was slung over a chair, his kitbag near the painted door, toys spilling it out of it. They were running a special offer in the toy department. All soldiers, airmen and sailors’ wives were entitled to ten per cent off any toy they chose. It was proving very popular and the sales of those special wooden toys made by soldiers was booming. In fact, Harpers was doing very well this Christmas. She’d bought a small tree for Jenny and they’d dressed it together, but until Ben was home it wouldn’t feel like Christmas.
Sally knew she was lucky to have all she had, but there were times when she couldn’t help wishing her husband would come home for good.
As if answering her prayers, Ben arrived home that evening. His arm was in a sling and she knew a moment of fear that he’d been involved in some dangerous mission she’d not been told of until he explained that he’d trodden on a patch of ice and fallen, breaking his shoulder.
‘They had a very cold night up there,’ he told her, explaining that he’d been on a tour of various manufacturers and institutions in Scotland. ‘I was in hurry, didn’t realise there was ice about and went crashing down. They took me to the hospital and put this thing on, but not much else they can do for me. I have to wait for it to heal and the pain to go.’
Her first fear had faded, but she could see he was hurting. ‘Come and sit down, Ben. How did you get home?’
‘I was driven in a staff car,’ he told her. ‘Driving is out for me for a while.’ He gave her a wry smile. ‘It looks like you’ll have me home for Christmas and perhaps for a while after that…’
‘Oh, Ben,’ Sally exclaimed. ‘I’m so sorry you’ve hurt your shoulder and that you are in pain – but I can’t be sorry it will make you stay home. I’ve been missing you so very much, my darling.’
‘I miss you all the time,’ Ben said and he walked to her steadily but carefully and put his right arm around her. He kissed her softly on the lips, but the effort cost him and his face went white. ‘I think I need to rest, Sally. I’ll sit in a chair, but with my feet up on a stool.’
‘You’d rather be up than in bed?’
Sally could see the answer in his face, so she fetched pillows and a blanket and tucked him up with his feet on a stool. He closed his eyes and she sat in a chair for a little while and watched him, her heart full. Then Jenny woke and started crying so she fetched the little girl and let her come through with them. Jenny struggled to get to her daddy, but Sally made sure she couldn’t fling herself at him and jolt his shoulder, and when Ben opened his eyes, he smiled.
‘Sit her on my right knee,’ he said and so she did, watching anxiously for any sign that she would claw at him and scramble all over him, but she seemed to sense something and patted his face with her little hands.
‘Daddy not well?’ She amazed them both by putting the words together. Normally it was ‘Daddy come’ or ‘Mummy play ‘or ‘Jenny wants’, but she was looking at him seriously with eyes as big as saucers and the same colour as Ben’s. Her eyes had been bluer, but they’d gradually bec
ome more grey than blue and she looked very like her father just then, making Sally swallow hard.
‘Daddy has a bad shoulder,’ he told her. ‘It hurts him to move. You get down now and let Mummy get you a drink of milk and honey.’
Jenny looked at him a moment longer and then slid to the ground and scampered over to her mother. She looked up at Sally. ‘Daddy bad shoulder…’ she repeated like a little parrot.
‘Our little girl is growing up,’ Ben said and smiled at his wife. ‘Perhaps it is just as well with the little one on the way.’ His eyes were full of love and concern as he looked at her. ‘How are you, Sally? I know you say you’re well and I know you work a few hours each week, but how are you really?’
‘I’m fairly well,’ Sally said honestly. ‘I keep my hours short because I know I need to be careful and I never do too much – but I’ve been down in the dumps. I haven’t heard from my mother recently, even though I wrote to her and asked her to come and see me and she said she would bring her husband to visit me. But then I’ve heard nothing more to say when exactly, and Mick is going through a pretty rotten time and I felt sad for him. It made me realise how lucky we are to have each other, Ben – and that made me lonely for you.’ She drew a shaky breath as her emotion overcame her.
‘Darling, Sally,’ he said. ‘Put little trouble to bed and give her that hot milk – and then we’ll talk.’ His smile lit up Sally’s heart and she felt happy as she took her little girl into the kitchen, gave her some warmed milk with a little honey and put her to bed.
Jenny soon settled and Sally returned to the sitting room, where Ben was fast asleep in his chair. She sat in the chair opposite and watched him, feeling a deep contentment that he was back with her for a few weeks at least. She was so lucky! So many husbands were fighting at the Front or had already fought and been killed and hers was sitting here with her. Sally’s heart ached for all those who had lost loved ones, because she just couldn’t imagine what it would be like to go through such pain. She decided that her next charitable campaign would be for war widows and bereaved mothers – the women who stayed at home, prayed, wept and went on living when the worst happened, even though it seemed there was nothing to live for.
Ben woke a little later. She offered tea and he asked for brandy so she got it and he sat nursing the glass in his hand, sipping a little now and then, looking at her as if he never wanted to take his eyes off her.
‘You’re such a lovely person, Sally,’ he said. ‘It’s not just that your face is pretty – it comes from inside. I’ve been told about all your campaigns and work for the wounded. I haven’t been much help to you, darling. I’ve left you alone to manage everything while I did what I considered my duty – and it was unfair to you.’
‘No, Ben. I was proud of you and I like doing what I do,’ Sally replied with a shake of her head. ‘I’m lucky. You could have been fighting and been badly injured or killed. I often feel lonely for you – but I do know how lucky we’ve been compared to others.’
‘I think they won’t need me much more,’ Ben said and then sighed. ‘Who am I kidding? Even when they lay down the guns, there will be the problem of getting the men home and supplying their needs before they return and when they get back. They are going to need a lot of help settling down when it is over. Men who have been to hell and back can’t be expected to just pick up their lives as if nothing has happened.’
‘No, they can’t,’ Sally said and knelt down at his side, lifting her face to kiss him softly on the lips. She could taste the brandy. It was a part of him and she felt so grateful that he was here and with her. Now she could really get into the spirit of Christmas. ‘I’m not sure what the government will do, Ben, but we can campaign to help the wounded heroes – just as I intend to help the widows and mothers.’
‘Yes, my darling,’ Ben agreed. ‘Someone needs to do that – and we may not have been making much money these past years, but we can do something – we can make people aware. I’ve been thinking about it and I’m going to devote some of my time to it when the Government no longer needs my services.’ He looked rueful. ‘There will come a time when I can help with Harpers a bit, but it looks like you’ll still be in charge for the future – and you’ll have a second child to cope with too…’
‘But I have Pearl and Mrs Hill. Pearl says she will come full-time when the baby is born. She says she isn’t particularly happy at the hospital – the matron has it in for her for some reason – and she would prefer to work for me full-time. She feels she has done her duty as a nurse and likes being a part of the Harpers family.’
‘Well, at least it means you have reliable help,’ Ben said and smiled at her sleepily. ‘I think I might go to bed for a while now…’
It was almost morning and Sally smiled at the oddness of it, but that was life when people were ill or injured. Life was often turned upside down and this war had twizzled them all this way and that, wrenching families apart and destroying lives. She knew that Ben thought the tide had turned at Passchendaele and that the Allies were at last getting the measure of the great force that the enemy had brought to bear. America’s weight had helped to turn the flood that had threatened to overwhelm France and Europe, and perhaps the German people were as worn down by the conflict as the British people and secretly longed for peace. Maybe at last, in the next few months, the enemy would be beaten and life could return to normal.
Sally only knew for certain that it would soon be Christmas. She had given the store a festive air to make up for any lack of choice in the stock, though she had been keeping a few things in reserve for months and would now instruct Fred to bring the various items out of store and distribute them to the departments so that it gave people something new to look at and buy for Christmas. Also, she would buy in some sweet sherry if she could get some and ask her friends to help her make some tarts and little cakes and on Christmas Eve, the customers and staff could have a small glass of wine and a home-made treat if they wished.
In homes all up and down Britain – and in Europe too – people would celebrate Christmas as best they could. Family members would be missing – some never to return – and the food would not have the richness or variety of other years, but that wouldn’t stop folk celebrating. They would make the best of what they had and cherish those that were absent as much as ever.
As she returned to her sitting room when Ben had settled in bed, propped up against pillows to make him comfortable, Sally started to make a list of all she needed to do for Christmas and the future. She had been given so much and she would do all she could to help others less fortunate. Sally decided that she needed to have a word with Becky Stockbridge as soon as she could.
‘Please come and sit down, Becky.’ Sally said one morning later that week when the young woman was shown into her office. ‘Don’t look frightened. You’re not in any trouble. I just want to talk to you. Tell me - are you happy in your work here at Harpers?’
‘Yes, Mrs Harper…’ Becky flushed. ‘Has someone complained of my work?’
‘No, not at all,’ Sally replied. ‘It was just noticed that you seemed a little – shall we say out of sorts?’
Becky looked uncomfortable. ‘If I’ve been rude, I apologise…’
‘No need for that, Becky. You’re not here to be reprimanded, just for a friendly chat, to make sure that nothing is upsetting you.’
‘I am upset,’ Becky replied haltingly. ‘I know I was a bit sharp with…with someone but…’ she shook her head. ‘I can’t tell you anything – but it won’t happen again.’
Sally hesitated, then, ‘I am sorry you don’t feel able to tell me why you’re so unhappy, Becky. I would help you if I could…’
‘I know…’ Becky wiped a tear from her cheek. ‘May I go back to work – we’re very busy in the office.’
‘Of course you may, Becky – and if ever you do need my help, remember I am here…’
Sally sighed as the door closed behind the girl. Was it a broken heart Becky was suff
ering from or something else? She wished Becky had opened up to her but sometimes things were too difficult. Well, she could do nothing until Becky decided to ask for her help…
Becky’s head was down as she hurried away from Mrs Harper’s office. How could she tell her – how could she tell anyone what a fool she’d been? They would all think she was shameful…just because she’d done something that hadn’t seemed wicked at all at the time.
No, no, it was impossible. If she dared to talk to anyone it would be Sally Harper but she was too ashamed. Minnie would be terribly hurt and her father would be so angry and all because she’d fallen in love with a man who swore he loved her and would marry her. He’d said he would speak to her father about an engagement and she’d been carried away and now…now she was so afraid of what everyone would think when they found out that she was a bad girl, and it was bound to come out, unless she could find a way to hide her shame…
Blinking back her tears, Becky struggled to compose herself before she entered the office. Her father was often in and out and if he saw her upset, he would demand to know why and she couldn’t tell him – she just couldn’t.
Oh, why hadn’t he written as he promised? He’d seemed so sincere and she did love him so…but now she didn’t know what to do. If she told Sally Harper, she would be sure to tell Becky’s father and she would lose her job.
What was she going to do? It wasn’t fair! Marion was married and happy and so was Maggie – why did this have to happen to her? It had only been once that she’d strayed and now she was in terrible trouble, with no one to turn to.
33
‘Colin, may I talk to you please?’ Maggie asked from the doorway. Her husband looked up from the paperwork before him, frowned and then pushed the papers away with a sigh.