A Caffeinated Crunch: A Cozy Mystery (Sweet Home Mystery Series Book 2)

by Constance Barker

  “Jules filled me in,” Hildie said.

  “Lily just told me out in the parking lot. How in the world does the poor old girl get into these situations?”

  Hildie shrugged. “I don’t know. She’s here this evening with Gladys and a few of their friends.” Hildie motioned over to a table where the women were sitting.

  “She seems to be having a good time,” I said.

  “She is now,” Jules replied. “Carl the creep came in earlier and you could tell it was getting to Mildred. She ran to the ladies room and Gladys followed her. After a few minutes Gladys came out and walked over to Carl who was standing watching the crowd. She pointed her finger in his face and they got into a heated argument. He finally turned and left. By that time Mildred emerged from the ladies room and they went back to the table. Gladys got her something to drink and I think she may have poured a bit of vodka in it.”

  Essie’s eyes almost popped out of her head. “Huh? How do you know this Jules?”

  Jules looked surprised. “I thought everyone knew that Gladys carries a flask of vodka around in her purse. She says it’s for medicinal purposes.”

  “First I’ve heard about it,” Essie exclaimed, as she looked at Hildie. “Did you know about this?”

  Hildie waved her hand. “I’ve known for years.”

  Essie’s eyes grew large. “And nobody filled me in on this little tidbit?”

  Hildie shrugged. “I thought you knew. Everybody knows.”

  “Well I didn’t!” Essie was not pleased. She liked to have her pulse on the goings on in the community, and the fact she never knew of Gladys and her pet flask…well, there would be heck to pay for that little oversight. However, Hildie was having none of it.

  “Oh Essie, it’s not a big deal. So what? Gladys totes a flask full of booze in her purse. Jeanette over there packs a .22 handgun in hers.”

  Essie’s head almost spun off her neck. “She what?!”

  Hildie nodded. “Yep, ever since her husband died her son took her to one of those conceal and carry classes so she could take a gun with her wherever she goes. I heard she’s pretty good with it since he took her a few times to the shootin range.”

  Essie put her hands on her hips. “Well, aren’t you the gal with all the news.”

  “Maybe if you listened once in a while you’d know what’s going on in town,” Hildie remarked.

  “Don’t you start with me sister!”

  “Okay you two break it up,” I said getting between them. I’m sorry to say their quarrels happened quite frequently, but no one seemed perturbed. Most of the town was use to my aunts and their squabbles. Jules excused herself and went to sit with the girls she came with. The rest of us headed over to our designated table for dinner. My aunts and I along with our escorts sat at the same table, where we feasted on grilled chicken or steak, green beans, and mashed potatoes. Dessert was ice cream sundaes or devil’s food cake.

  During dinner we noticed Carl Jefferies had returned with his wife. She was a lovely lady with short grey hair and a cute little figure. I didn’t understand why he caroused around on her. I also saw Lucille who was sitting with a different group of ladies across the aisle from Mildred and Gladys’ table. Guess they didn’t run in the same circles.

  After the dinner, while everyone drank coffee or other beverages, (note Gladys and her flask) the emcee for the night stood on stage to read off the list of companies contributing to the police fundraiser. I noticed Mildred left her table when dessert was served and never came back. Not long after, Essie elbowed me and pointed. Carl Jefferies had excused himself from his table as well.

  I put my hand over my mouth and whispered, “Do you think he’s following Mildred?”

  “I wouldn’t put it past him. She better tell him where to go. I mean his wife is here!”

  I nodded then turned my attention back to Eli. We were having a nice time talking about old friends we grew up with. It was fun and sentimental to discuss some of our shared past together. Although we weren’t exactly friends growing up and didn’t socialize in the same circles, we had known each other since we were kids. The emcee continued reading off names and companies and their corresponding donations to the police department. Most people were sitting at their tables visiting, while a few others stood or mingled at the side walls of the room. I’d lost track of Mildred, Carl and Jules for that matter.

  Suddenly there was a scream. The room sort of hushed, as if no one knew for sure if what we heard was exactly a scream. Then came another scream. Eli jumped from his chair and ran for the exit. Toe was right behind him. I jumped up from the table as did my aunts and most of the people in the room. I started for the exit and Essie grabbed my arm.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I want to see if I can help. Someone could be hurt.”

  Essie looked at Hildie. “Alright, let’s go!”

  A few others were filing out the door while many stayed standing around in circles. Jules caught up with us as we were heading out the door.

  “Where did you go?” I asked. “I lost track of you at your table.”

  “I had to take a phone call and it was too loud in the rec center,” she answered.

  After we made it out of the building we saw the men standing in the middle of the parking lot. As we approached we saw the top of Harvey’s golf cart. I could tell by the shark fin he attached to the roof. Toe looked around and saw us.

  “Don’t come any further ladies, we have a crime scene.”

  We stopped short, then Essie said, “With a golf cart? Somebody try to steal it?”

  I heard crying and looked to my left. Mrs. Jefferies sat in one of the parked golf carts softly weeping. What the heck was going on? At that moment Eli, Toe and the other men parted away from the golf cart and we all gasped. Lying stiff as a rail under the golf cart was Carl Jefferies. His cream colored shirt and slacks had several tire tracks etched across them like someone had mowed him down and then backed up and drove over him again and again.

  The four of us stood in shock as we heard other people walking up behind us gasping and murmuring.

  Toe and a few other men began moving us back as we heard the sirens in the distance. I watched as Eli stooped down to take a closer look at Jefferies. He took a handkerchief out of his pocket and with it he pulled something from the front of Carl’s shirt. I then turned around before I fell flat on my face as Toe pushed us back farther away from the golf cart. By this time Harvey found us.

  “What happened ladies? Is anyone hurt?”

  Essie pointed towards Harvey’s golf cart. “More than hurt…Carl Jeffries is dead and it appears someone used your golf cart to flatten him.”

  Harvey looked shocked.

  I put my hand on Harvey’s arm. “We don’t know he’s dead. Although it didn’t look like he was breathing.” I’m sure that made Harvey feel better.

  “Ayup, he’s dead alright,” Toe said as he walked to over to our little group. “Looks like they plowed him down several times over. Just kept driving back and forth.

  My aunts, Jules and I all blanched. Toe had a way with words.

  “How in the world did someone use your golf cart Harvey?” Essie demanded to know. “Don’t you have your keys?”

  Harvey looked at Essie. “I always leave them in the ignition.”

  Hildie did a double take. “You what? You left them in the ignition?”

  “Did you notice that?” I asked. “You rode here with him.”

  Hildie shook her head. “I didn’t pay any attention.”

  I looked at Harvey. “Do you always leave your keys in the ignition?”

  Harvey nodded. “Yep. Didn’t figure anyone would want to make off with a golf cart with a shark fin on top. I mean it would be pretty easy to identify. Besides, I always forget where I put them so I just leave them in the ignition.”

  Essie shrugged. “Well now we see how easy it was for someone to use your golf cart and try to throw the investigation off. Use the golf car
t of a police officer’s father to do the deed.” Essie looked at Toe and motioned towards Carl Jefferies wife who was still sitting in one of the golf carts crying. A few other women had now come out to console her.

  “I take it she found him and was the one we heard screaming?”

  Toe nodded. “She was kneeling down beside him when we got here.”

  Essie glanced over at Mrs. Jefferies. “Maybe she got tired of his philandering ways and decided his number was up.”

  Toe followed Essie’s gaze. “She seems mighty upset.”

  “Oh Toe, it’s probably a rouse to throw off the cops…playing the grieving widow,” Essie announced. “I’ve watched many a crime show, and 90% of the time it’s the spouse.”

  “But why off him here?” I asked. “This seems like an odd place to commit premeditated murder. She could easily have done it at home or at least somewhere she might not be seen performing the act.”

  “That’s true,” Hildie agreed. “I can’t see it being Mrs. Jefferies, although she has plenty of motives with all the women he was seeing.”

  “There might be a rather large life insurance policy,” Essie announced. “There’s another motive.”

  Toe shook his head. “Lawdy ladies, the man’s still warm…can we have a little breather for the dear departed?”

  Essie put her hands on her hips. “He may be departed but there was nothing dear about him.” Essie put her hand up as we started to protest. “I know I know, don’t speak ill of the dead, but as far as I can see the old coot pushed someone too far. If you ask me he was living on the edge canoodling with all these different women, and taking money from them to boot.”

  Toes eyes widened. “He took money from them?”

  I gave Essie a look. “Well, that’s what I’ve heard. He’d give them some sad luck story about needing money for an expensive medication and they’d give it to him.”

  “That’s dirty,” Toe responded and Harvey nodded. “To take a woman’s money is hitting below the belt.”

  Now Hildie seemed miffed. “What, you mean the philandering isn’t?”

  Toe held his hands up. “Now I didn’t say that Miss Hildie. It definitely is, but taking money from a lady is even more low down.” Hildie and now Essie were giving Toe death stares. “I mean it’s not lower down…I suppose it’s equally low down. Heck, I don’t know what I mean. You women can drive a man to an early grave.”

  I looked over at Mr. Jefferies whose body was being place in a body bag. “Seems that’s exactly what someone did to Mr. Jefferies.”

  Chapter Five

  The night ended abruptly as we were all asked to leave the event. Of course Harvey didn’t have a vehicle and Eli had to stay for the investigation so we all crowded into Toe’s Lincoln for the ride home. After our conversation in the parking lot, everyone seemed subdued. I was let out first and thanked Toe for the ride and told my aunts I’d see them at the Coffee Cabana.

  That evening after putting on my purple silk pajamas and curling up with a cup of cocoa I thought about how the night unfolded. I had hoped to be thinking about Eli and a goodnight kiss, but that didn’t transpire. Instead, another murder had occurred in Sweet Home under our very noses.

  Like my aunts, I was intrigued by mystery. I remember watching gory crime shows while Essie babysat me, my Mom having a fit when she walked in on us. But that never stopped her from watching the shows with me. We liked to try and figure out who the murderer was. Hildie would watch with us once in a while, but she wasn’t as intrigued as we were. I guess if Essie and I had something in common, that was it.

  So I tried going over the timeline of how things played out that night and who might have had motive. Of course Mrs. Jefferies was still a high contender and many times the culprit was the spouse, just like Essie said. However, there were others that may have been just as angry at the scoundrel, like Mildred. Oh, here we go again with Mildred. She was a suspect in the last murder…now she might be in this one as well. Then there was the mysterious man who my aunts and I saw corner Mr. Jefferies outside our coffee shop. We couldn’t tell what exactly they were arguing about, but the man was definitely not happy with Carl. There was also the blond bimbo Mildred mentioned. Perhaps she had a hand in the murder. I yawned and looked at the clock which read 1am. I knew I’d better get to bed if I was to get any sleep before the morning alarm went off.

  The next day was busy for a Sunday. We didn’t open as early on Sunday as we did the rest of the week since much of our business came from people heading to work. Although I slept in longer than I do during the week, it still wasn’t much since I tossed and turned most of the night. However, my aunts looked like they’d slept like a rock. They came marching into the shop like someone pumped them full of adrenaline. I was pouring my first cup of coffee as they strode in carrying their boxes of pastries.

  “Good grief girl, did you even try to rake a comb across your head this morning?”

  “Good morning to you too Essie,” I croaked. “And how are you two so chipper today?”

  “Probably because we got to bed at a decent hour,” Hildie remarked as she filled the bakery case.

  “Hey, I couldn’t get to sleep last night with all that happened. I tossed and turned.”

  Hildie stopped loading the pastry case and peered at me. “You should have had a nightcap like we did.”

  Huh? Were my ears still asleep? Did she say nightcap? Did Hildie even know what a nightcap was? Maybe she meant it literally, like a cap you wear at night. Essie saw my bewilderment and inability to move my tongue to speak.

  “Yes she said nightcap…now you know. We indulge in a little bit of spirits to help us sleep since we have to get up at such an ungodly hour.”

  I took a sip of my coffee which helped awaken my tongue. “And what type of spirits do you partake of?” I’m thinking a glass of wine.

  “Couple shots of whiskey,” Hildie announced. Not what I was expecting.

  “Between the two of you,” I asked not knowing if I wanted the answer.

  “No, apiece,” Hildie answered.

  I still couldn’t wrap my brain around it. I’ve never known my aunts to so much as touch a beer let alone take shots of Jim Beam.

  “You surely mix it with something, like coke?”

  “Nope, we drink it neat.”

  I shook my head as if to remove the cobwebs. “Let me get this straight. You and Essie drink two shots of whisky apiece in the evening before you go to bed.”

  My aunts nodded and looked at me like I was a screw loose in the head. “We are of age, you know.” Essie retorted. “Besides, I can’t stand the taste of beer.”

  “Oh, you’ve tried it? Where have I been? Maybe I should look in your purses for a flask like Gladys.”

  Hildie turned to Essie. “That reminds me, I want to ask Gladys where she got that flask. I wouldn’t mind having one myself.”

  I peered out the front window of the shop, ready to forget this conversation, when I saw Eli approaching. When the door opened, my aunts turned to see who it was and promptly ran over to quiz him.

  “Eli, what happened to Mr. Jefferies? Do you have anybody on the suspect list?” Essie asked.

  Eli shook his head as he maneuvered over to the counter where I was standing. “The coroner is performing the autopsy this morning, but it’s pretty evident the golf cart caused internal injuries.”

  “Poor Harvey,” Hildie lamented. “Will he get his golf cart back soon?”

  Egads! My aunt Hildie was more concerned about the golf cart than the dead person under it. And I thought she was the soft one. Fortunately Eli didn’t pay any mind. I think he knew how my aunts were.

  “Not for a few days. The forensic team needs to dust it for prints and look for any incriminating evidence.”

  “Oh Eli, my prints are in that golf cart,” Hildie exclaimed. “I rode with your father to the fundraiser.”

  “I know Miss Hildie and don’t you worry…you are not a suspect.”

  Hildie grab
bed one of the pamphlets lying on the counter that someone dropped off to advertise insurance and quickly started fanning herself. “Well that’s a relief.”

  I walked by her and whispered, “Maybe you do need to keep a flask in your purse.” To my horror she appeared to be contemplating the suggestion.

  “Eli, are there any suspects?” Essie was getting impatient as usual. “We actually have thought of a few ourselves.”

  I gave Essie a look but she ignored me.