Changing Places

by Colette Caddle

  ‘How’s the job going?’

  Jill looked faintly surprised. ‘Fine.’

  ‘Did you sort out that fella who’s after your job? Vinny, wasn’t it?’

  ‘Yeah, Vinny Gray.’

  ‘He sounds like that gangster.’

  ‘The Kray twins.’ Jill winced. ‘God, I don’t think the world could handle it if Vinny had a twin brother. He’s a right little shit but clever with it, unfortunately.’

  ‘Still, once you do your job well that’s all that matters.’

  ‘Maybe,’ Jill nodded, thinking how naïve her cousin was. Rachel had no idea how cut-throat office life could be. ‘At least Sue, that’s my boss, is no fool. I’m sure she sees right through him.’

  ‘There you go then. You’ve nothing to worry about.’

  ‘No,’ Jill agreed, although she didn’t believe it.

  She had always felt so confident, so sure of her ability, but lately she was beginning to doubt herself and it was all because of Vinny Gray. Not because of the sponsorship deal he’d come up with for the lingerie company – anyone could get lucky – but because she’d just found out that Sue Boyle had headhunted him from their biggest competitor and that had made her nervous.

  When Jill first started in this business, she knew that she’d found the perfect job. It was immediately obvious to her and everyone else that she had a knack for it. She was usually able to come up with quirky ideas and, where possible, she tried to incorporate humour. Sue Boyle had recognized and nurtured Jill’s talent, and her rise through the company’s ranks had been meteoric. Now, Jill had some competition in the shape of Vinny Gray, and she’d have to really pull the stops out if she didn’t want to see him being promoted above her. The thought made her feel slightly ill.

  ‘Are you having dessert?’ Rachel had snatched the menu that the waiter had handed her when he returned for their plates.

  Feeling decidedly depressed now, Jill nodded. ‘I’ll have the tiramisu with some ice-cream.’

  Rachel beamed. ‘And I’ll have the chocolate cheesecake.’ She called the waiter and they gave their order. ‘And a latte, please.’

  He turned to Jill. ‘Tea or coffee?’

  ‘Another grapefruit juice,’ Jill told him. ‘Make it a large one.’

  As her sister and cousin indulged themselves, Anna was making her way home. Val had taken a message from Liam asking her to meet him there. The dirty devil! It was a while since they’d nipped home at lunchtime for a bit of rumpy-pumpy. Anna stopped off at the deli in the village for some sandwiches and a punnet of strawberries – had to keep their strength up, after all!

  ‘I’m home,’ she called as she breezed in and dumped the bags in the kitchen. ‘Yoo-hoo, Liam.’ She headed for the stairs, unbuttoning her shirt as she went.

  ‘In here,’ Liam called from the sitting room and she turned to come back down, a smile on her face.

  ‘So this is where you are.’ She posed in the doorway and smiled seductively. ‘I hope you’re feeling peckish.’

  ‘Sit down,’ Liam said, his voice faint.

  Anna dropped the pose and noticed for the first time that her husband’s eyes were red and swollen and his face ashen. ‘Liam, what is it?’ She hurried to his side. ‘Is it your mother?’

  He shook his head.

  ‘Then what? For God’s sake, tell me what’s happened!’

  Liam gulped and grasped her hands in his. ‘I’ve lost my job.’

  It took nearly an hour for Anna to get the full story out of him. All the clandestine meetings that Liam had assumed were a prerequisite to his promotion had actually been to discuss how they were going to rescue the company, for Patterson’s was suddenly in a lot of trouble.

  ‘They lost the Drayson order and another customer is going into receivership. Patterson’s would have gone to the wall too unless they took radical action.’

  ‘So they fired you?’ Anna exploded. ‘But they need you! If they’re going to ride this out, they need strong management.’

  Liam’s smile was resigned. ‘Apparently I’m too expensive. Frank Boylan has taken early retirement, Greg Dunne and I have been made redundant and Ted is going to run things.’

  ‘What about Phil?’

  Liam’s eyes hardened. ‘He’s staying. You know he knew all about it? I can’t believe the bastard didn’t warn me. And I thought he was a mate.’

  ‘They can’t do this, Liam, they just can’t!’

  ‘They’ve done it, Anna. That old bastard has been stringing me along. He must have been thinking about this for a while. Bloody Sarah probably knew too – she does all his typing.’

  ‘It’s unfair dismissal, we’ll sue them.’

  Liam shook his head, his eyes weary. ‘It’s not dismissal, it’s redundancy. I would only have a case if they replaced me.’

  ‘Ted can’t possibly run it on his own.’

  Liam closed his eyes and said nothing.

  Anna took a deep breath, forcing herself to calm down. He was in a bad enough state without her losing it. ‘It’s going to be okay, darling, I promise. You’ll walk into another job. With your qualifications and experience, companies will be queuing up to hire you. You’ll probably get an even better job.’

  Anna sat for ages, clinging to his hand and comforting him, but she felt as if someone had kicked her in the stomach. If one thing in their life had seemed secure, it was Liam’s career. He had known from an early age that he’d wanted to go on to college and study engineering – Josie told everyone how hard he’d worked and how he’d always been at the top of his class. After college, he’d worked as a supervisor in a small company before securing a job as Line Manager in Ted Patterson’s company, specialists in switches and connectors. He was only twenty-three and Josie had been delirious.

  After a while, Anna rang the office and told Val she wouldn’t be back in that afternoon. ‘Bit of a family crisis.’

  ‘Oh, I’m sorry, love. Nobody’s sick, I hope?’

  ‘No, Val. I’ll fill you in tomorrow,’ Anna promised and rang off. Then she dragged Liam down to the pub and poured several pints into him. As the alcohol started to take effect, Liam came out of his stunned stupor and began to talk about their future. As he went on about the possibilities and the types of business he’d like to get into, Anna felt herself relax. This was more like it. This was the Liam she knew. Not the devastated tearstained man that she’d walked in on at lunchtime. Liam would very quickly find himself a new job, a better job. They would get through this; she would do everything she could to help him. And then when they came out the other side, they could concentrate on starting their family.

  Chapter 12

  ‘I won’t be home for dinner,’ Gary said over his shoulder as he wrestled with his tie in front of the mirror.

  From her position in the bed, Rachel barely reacted. Gary was rarely home for dinner. ‘Fine. I’ll have something with Alex.’ Rachel thought she’d pick up a pizza for them both. She didn’t have the energy to even consider cooking.

  ‘It’s an important meeting, I can’t get out of it.’

  ‘It’s okay, Gary, I understand.’ She managed a smile.

  ‘Good.’ He bent to kiss her forehead and was gone.

  Rachel lay back on the pillows and tried to remember when Gary had last kissed her on the lips, properly, deeply, passionately. She gave up, pulling the sheet up to her chin and closing her eyes. Now that Alex was going to school with his friend, Rachel could go back to bed in the mornings. She hadn’t felt this weary on her first pregnancy, but then when she was expecting Alex she’d been excited at the thought of becoming a mother. This time there was no excitement. Rachel felt riddled with guilt as she stroked her small bump. God only knew how this poor child would turn out. Before it was even born, it had a lousy mother. Rachel felt the tears well up but swallowed hard and sat up. Crying wasn’t going to do her or her baby any good. And she’d felt awful the other day when Alex caught her at it.

  He’d wandered into the kitch
en looking for a snack and discovered her weeping over the potato peelings. Running to her, he’d wrapped his skinny little arms around her. ‘Please don’t cry, Mummy, I hate it when you cry.’

  Rachel got up, put on her dressing-gown and went down to the computer. Once she’d signed in to MumSpeak, she went to the mums-to-be section on the discussion board and started to type, not giving herself time to think about what she was doing or why. The anonymity of the service allowed her to be a lot more forthcoming than she would ever be with Jill, and it seemed to be the same for many of the other mothers. There were topics on this website that you’d never hear discussed at a mother and baby session, that’s for sure. She typed quickly and when she was finished, read it back once.

  ‘I know there are lots of you out there with much bigger problems than me, but can anyone tell me why I’m so miserable? I’m pregnant with my second child and I just don’t want to get out of bed in the morning. While my husband seems pleased about the baby, he doesn’t show much interest in me or it and I feel very lonely. I hate to admit this but I’m not sure I want this baby at all. Is this all down to hormones? Does anyone else feel this way? Am I a horrible person? Al’sMum

  She’d chosen to call herself Al’sMum because she felt that’s all she was. She had decided against using Alex’s full name in case someone recognized her. Well, you never knew. This was an Irish website and Ireland could be a bloody small place when you least needed it.

  She quickly posted the question before she could change her mind, switched off the screen and went out to the kitchen to make some camomile tea. She’d actually kill for a really strong coffee but knew that if she started drinking the stuff again she wouldn’t be able to stop. When the tea was made, she carried it back to the computer. Flicking the screen on she realized she was holding her breath as she checked for a reply. Nothing.

  As she sipped her tea, Rachel browsed through the other topics. Many queries related to maternity hospitals and the cost of going private, and there were lots of threads about the various symptoms women were experiencing. Rachel read eagerly in the hope of finding someone else who was feeling the same way, but though many were going through rough pregnancies, they all sounded bright and breezy and seemed to agree that it would all be worth it in the end.

  Rachel finished her tea and signed off. She really had to stop thinking about it so much and just get on with life. Fine, she hadn’t wanted this pregnancy but there was nothing she could do about that now. While lack of sleep was still a big problem, she was having a reasonably good pregnancy. On top of that, she had a wonderful son and although her marriage might not be ideal, Gary wasn’t the worst. Her granny would have told her that she didn’t know she was born and that she should count her blessings.

  What would her mother say? Rachel wished her parents had invested in a mobile phone so that she could at least keep in touch. Rachel didn’t begrudge her parents some fun in their golden years but it would be nice if they came home occasionally.

  Rachel didn’t know any other pensioners who’d sold their home and gone off to travel the world. Gary’s parents rarely left Dublin, never mind Ireland, and Josie, Liam’s mother, never went further than Cork, although Anna would probably throw a party if her mother-in-law decided to travel the world. Rachel smiled as she thought about the stories her sister told of Josie’s meddling ways. Kathleen, Gary’s mother, was a kind but distant mother-in-law who wouldn’t dream of interfering in her son’s life.

  Rachel put on her jogging pants with a white polo shirt and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. ‘You’ll do,’ she told her reflection in the bathroom mirror. A bit of make-up wouldn’t go amiss, but she didn’t have the energy. Anyway, there was no one to doll herself up for. Apart from the other mothers picking up their kids she wouldn’t see another soul today. She’d probably be back in bed by the time Gary got home.

  Going back downstairs, Rachel paused en route to the kitchen to check her screen for replies. Her heart flipped when she saw there were two new messages against her entry. She sank into the chair as she pressed Enter on the first.

  No, you’re not horrible!! Don’t even think that!! And yes, it is probably hormones, they do terrible things to you. What you need is a good night out with your man – does the trick for me every time. I feel so ugly and fat when I’m pregnant (blooming my ar**!!) but a bit of loving from my fella makes me feel a lot better. Good luck! GalwayGal

  Rachel smiled. It was a lovely reply and it did make her feel better, until she got to the ‘bit of loving’ part. There seemed little chance of that at the moment. Rachel clicked on the second reply.

  You’re very brave, Al’sMum, good on ya! Not many of us will admit that we’re not very happy about being pregnant but lots of us feel it from time to time – yes, I’ve been there too. My third wasn’t planned and I had set my heart on getting this new kitchen – God, sounds pathetic, doesn’t it? Anyway, once we knew Baby was on the way, that was the end of my kitchen. I was really fed up. Actually, if I’m honest, I was annoyed. Took it out on Him, of course. I’d begged him to have the snip but he wouldn’t, told me it was too final and that I might change my mind. Well, my baby son is now eight months old and yes, he’s better than a kitchen any day! Keep your heart up, Al’sMum, it will get better. Good luck, MaryK

  By the time she finished reading the message, tears were flowing down Rachel’s cheeks. Quickly she typed in a response.

  Thanks, GalwayGal, thanks, MaryK, I feel better already!

  She paused for a moment and then, wiping at her tears with the back of her hand, continued typing.

  No chance of any loving, tho. He doesn’t fancy me pregnant. He says he doesn’t want to hurt the baby but I can tell that he’s lying. I think there might be someone else. Anyway, thanks for replying, I feel much better. Al’s Mum

  This time Rachel posted the message without reading it, signed out of the website and closed down the machine. God, what had she done that for? Going into the downstairs loo, she splashed water on her face, grabbed her bag and keys and went out for a walk. Normally she’d wander around the shops in the village and then go down along the seafront, but today she didn’t want to meet anyone, didn’t want to listen to excited congratulations, didn’t want people asking her if she wanted a boy or a girl, didn’t want to have to pretend to be happy.

  Rachel turned instead towards the path along the estuary. On a grey and windy weekday morning she was less likely to meet one of the busy mums down here. They’d all be in the gym, at aqua-aerobics or in the many coffee-shops, discussing the price of schoolbooks, the latest fake tan and what wife was doing what with which husband. A faint drizzle started to fall and Rachel held her face up to the grey sky, welcoming the miserable weather that matched her mood.

  Anna was sitting in her car staring out at the rain falling on the estuary when she saw her sister walking along the path, her shirt sticking to her body and her hair in rat’s tails around her face. Anna’s initial response was to drive off – she was in no mood for dealing with Rachel’s moods today. But her poor pregnant sister was a good ten minutes’ walk from home with no coat on, and the rain looked like it was down for the day. Pressing hard on the horn, Anna got out of the car and waved at her sister.

  ‘Rachel! Over here!’

  Rachel raised her head and just looked at her.

  ‘For God’s sake, hurry up and get in.’

  Rachel approached the car. ‘I’m fine, it’s only a bit of rain.’

  ‘Rubbish. You’re soaked through – now come on.’

  Without another word, Rachel went around to the passenger door and climbed in.

  ‘Are you okay?’ Anna glanced at her as she turned the car.

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘Yes! I said, didn’t I?’

  ‘I was just asking, there’s no need to bite my head off. What the hell are you doing out in this weather?’

  ‘What the hell are you doing sitting staring at the wa
ter in the middle of the day?’ Rachel shot back.

  ‘Liam’s been made redundant,’ Anna replied, too miserable to lie.

  Rachel immediately reached out a hand to her sister. ‘Oh God, Anna, I’m sorry.’

  ‘Yeah, me too.’

  ‘But I thought Liam had it made at Patterson’s? Wasn’t there talk that one day he’d be the boss?’

  Anna’s smile was bitter. ‘Oh, there was lots of talk. Unfortunately, that’s all it was. Patterson’s is going through a rough patch so Ted’s decided to get rid of the senior management and run things himself.’

  ‘That’s terrible. Poor Liam. How’s he taking it?’

  ‘Not great.’

  ‘Still, I’m sure he will walk into another job.’

  ‘Yeah, he should be fine.’ Anna tried to smile. ‘He’s doing a tour of the employment agencies today.’

  ‘He’ll probably have found himself a new job by the time you get home.’

  ‘Probably.’ Anna turned into the pretty cul de sac of neat, modern semi-detached houses where Rachel and Gary lived. ‘How’s Alex?’

  ‘Fine.’

  ‘I probably won’t be able to have him over this weekend—’

  ‘Of course not,’ Rachel interrupted. ‘Don’t worry about it.’

  Anna nodded and smiled. ‘Thanks, Rache.’

  ‘Yeah, right. Look, if there’s anything I can do . . .’

  ‘I’ll call you,’ Anna promised and drove off.

  When she got into the office, Val looked up at her, a frown on her face. ‘Shouldn’t you be out with Charlie Coleman?’

  ‘Shit!’ Anna exploded and turned on her heel. ‘Would you phone him, Val, and tell him I’m on my way?’ She ran back to her car and drove the short distance along the coast road to Portmarnock.