“Hi, love.”
A warm breath of wind pushed through the trees. Jack placed the bouquet alongside the base of the tombstone.
“I’m sorry I haven’t been here. I couldn’t. It was too hard.”
Another breeze rustled the leaves above him, and Jack looked up at the sky.
“I missed you. Your laugh, your smile. The sound of you in our house. I didn’t know how to live without you. I was lost. But something’s happened. I finally did what you asked.” He took a breath. “I fell in love.”
A current of air brushed his face, and he focused on the grave again.
“I stopped myself from admitting how I felt for a long time. I never expected to fall in love with her, but I did. And then I screwed it up.” Jack winced and shook his head. “I thought I was doing the right thing by ending it. I was sure she wasn’t who you’d want me to be with. But she’s a lot like you, actually.” He smiled and sighed. “She brought me back to life, Eve.”
He reached into his pocket and took out the necklace.
“I understand what you did for me now. That this didn’t mean the same thing to you as it did to me, but you did it anyway. For me.” Grief swelled, but it didn’t hit as hard as it used to. It tightened around his heart, then slowly abated, riding out on his exhale. “I can never be thankful enough for what you did, for knowing what I needed during our life, and after you were gone.”
Holding the chain up, he watched the light bounce off the delicate string of metal.
“I know why you made me take this off you, but even with it locked in your dresser, it kept me bound to you. That’s not what you wanted. And I’m bound to someone else now, if she’ll still have me.”
He draped the chain over the top of her grave.
“I’m ready to let you go. I have to, so I can start living again.”
Jack stared at her collar for a long moment. The wind rushed through his hair, and Jack had a feeling that this was okay. That it was right. This wouldn’t be the last time he came here—Eve would always be a part of him, but she was his past, and his future was with Lilly.
At least, he hoped it was.
He whispered, “Good-bye, Eve.”
Then he turned and walked out of the cemetery.
Pulse pounding, Jack drove quickly to Rosie’s Diner. A good half hour early, he went inside hoping to find the same booth where he and Lilly sat months ago. Finding it free, he ordered a cup of coffee to help bide the time. The drink did little to occupy his thoughts, and he stared impatiently out the window.
She’d said in her text she would meet him, but he also knew she’d told Damien she needed to sleep on his offer. She might have already spoken to him today, her decision made. The clock ticked past three, and for a minute he worried she wasn’t coming. But then he saw her crossing the street. She was wearing a sundress that left her shoulders bare, white cotton skimming her knees. Jack immediately responded, breath quickening, his emotions a mix of apprehension, affection and desire, but he mastered his reaction as Lilly walked toward the diner with a determined step. She looked like she was ready to give him hell.
That’s my girl, he thought, but he couldn’t think of her that way. She wasn’t his again yet.
Lilly opened the door. Her firm expression seemed to waver a little when their eyes met, but then she lifted her chin, regaining her composure as she slid onto the seat across from him.
“Hi,” he said. “Thanks for coming.”
“No problem. What’s up?” Her words were clipped and professional. Her walls were back up again, as guarded as she had been when they first met.
“I wanted to tell you that you were right last night. It was none of my business to listen to your conversation with Cassie. I assume by now you’ve spoken with Damien?”
Her gaze lowered for a fraction of a second, a relic of their former association flickering back to life. “I have.”
“Whatever you said to him, there’s something I need you to know.”
“Okay,” she replied hesitantly.
“The thing Eve asked me to do before she died. The thing I wouldn’t tell you about. She asked me to fall in love again. And I just went to the cemetery to tell her…that I did.”
Lilly blinked several times until understanding colored her cheeks. “You did?”
“I did.”
Her face contorted briefly, brows pulling down tight, as if the knowledge that he loved her hurt, but he had to keep going.
“I’ve been a fool. All the things I thought would make a relationship impossible for us were just excuses. I was afraid to move on, but I’m not anymore. I’m so sorry I didn’t figure it out sooner.”
Her expression didn’t change. He wished she’d smile, give him some glimmer that what he was saying made her even the tiniest bit happy. That it had any influence on her decision.
Maybe it really was too late.
“I understand if you don’t want me anymore. And I’ll respect whatever choice you make, but if you decide to leave, please don’t go back to him.”
She frowned and leaned forward, digging a hand into her hair. “This isn’t what I expected.”
“How so?”
“I thought you wanted to talk because you were angry about how I acted in front of Josh last night.”
His lips curled up into a smile. “Who do you think convinced me to talk to you?”
“Josh?” Her eyes widened. “He knows? And you’re okay with that?”
“I am.”
“Wow. And here I was planning to tell you to fuck off.”
Jack’s laugh was short and quiet. “I wouldn’t have expected anything less from you.”
She studied him, her eyes tracking his face, as if she didn’t trust what he was saying. “Is this really what you want? Or do you just not want me with anyone else?”
That one stung. “I meant every word. I love you. Don’t go.”
The look in her face finally shifted, softened, the tension in her body relaxing as part of her armor fell away.
“I’m not going back to Chicago. And I told Damien to shove it.”
Another sudden laugh burst out of him. “Congratulations. I’ll bet that felt good.”
“It did. He’s an asshole. And he doesn’t love me,” Lilly said. “I signed up to take the bar in July too.”
“That’s great. I’m so proud of you.”
“Thank you.”
She took a breath. Hope ballooned up in Jack as her eyes searched his.
“I—” She grimaced. Shook her head. “I can’t say it back yet.”
She didn’t have to. The fact that she was here at all was enough for now. They needed to rebuild their trust first before he could ask anything more from her.
“I understand.”
She still wouldn’t smile, but inched forward, resting her elbows on the table. “So what do we do now?”
“What do you want to do?”
“I can’t go back to what we were doing before. It’s too painful.”
“I agree.” Jack leaned closer to her. “What I’d like to do is start over.”
She frowned. “I don’t understand.”
“Right now, you need to be studying for the bar. You need to put yourself and your career first. My suggestion is that we don’t play at all for a while.”
Lilly shrank slightly, her gaze dropping to the table. Jack lowered his head and tried to catch her eye.
“Hey,” he said gently. “Look at me.”
She obeyed, but her eyes were shining, the pain of rejection clear.
“I said for a while, but don’t think for a second that I don’t want you.” He let his words sink in, looking at her in a way that gave no room for doubt. “You have no idea how much I want you back in my playroom, but I want more than that.”
“You
do?”
“Yes. I want us to get to know each other as people, to start over that way. Then, after you’ve taken the bar, we’ll see how we feel.”
“I’d like that.” Her eyes cleared a little. “So how do we start?”
“Well, what if we try it this way?” Jack held a hand out to her, his palm upturned.
Lilly stared at it, her gaze darting once around the restaurant before returning to his fingers. For the longest time, she didn’t move, but he didn’t push. He simply waited until she slowly placed her hand in his.
Jack wrapped his fingers around hers. “That’s a good start,” he said. “And next, I’d like to take you out to dinner.”
Across the table, Lilly finally smiled.
Chapter Forty-One
Nick pulled up in front of the convention center and stopped at the curb. Lilly rubbed her sweaty palms over her shorts and glanced out the window.
“It’s going to be fine,” he assured her.
“Easy for you to say. You’re not the one who has to do it.”
She handed him her cell phone. It felt as if she were handing over her lifeline.
Nick put it in his pocket. “Sorry, kiddo, but it’s on all your paperwork. No phones in the exam room.”
“I know.”
“And no being nervous. You’re gonna ace this.”
Lilly scrunched up her nose. “You know all those times I told you your photos were going to be a hit?”
“Yeah?”
“Did you ever believe me?”
“No, but this is different.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re brilliant, and you’ve been studying for three months.” He flashed her a smile. “Now go get ’em.”
Lilly leaned across the console to kiss his cheek. “Thanks.”
She climbed out of the car, the mid-summer heat beating down on her as she queued up with the crowd. It was the first day of the two-day bar exam. As she went through security, she began repeating the acronyms she’d memorized to remember the different legal issues and rules she needed to know. She’d studied for all of May, June and July. Forrester allowed her to change her schedule to three-day workweeks, and she’d spent every Friday morning through Monday evening living off coffee, bent over books and writing out practice essays. She’d resumed running regularly, and some days it felt like her daily outings were the only thing keeping her spine from turning into a permanent curve. As the date of the exam got closer, Gabe and Cassie began coming over twice a week to grill her with practice problems, and on Thursday evenings, Jack met her at the diner for study dates. He was an incredible asset, teaching her tricks until she got to the point where she could sense midway through an answer when she was getting a question wrong.
He’d had every confidence that she was going to pass. He’d said so when he called her the night before, telling her once again that he loved her.
Sitting down at her assigned spot, Lilly laid out her license, seating assignment card and pencils on the corner of her desk, then tucked her plastic baggie packed with protein bars and a bottle of water down by her feet. The last decade of her life had led up to this moment. She was ready. She’d been ready for a long time. She’d just lost sight of that. Now was her chance to prove it.
Lilly closed her eyes and cleared her mind.
Her cell phone rang, pulling her out of a deep sleep. Groggy, she checked the clock. It was late in the afternoon, but after how exhausting the last few days had been, Lilly felt as if she could use another month of sleep.
The shrill ring pierced through the air again and she rubbed her eyes with one hand as she felt blindly around the bed with the other. She ended up smacking a palm over Rumbles’s head instead, and he yelped out a surprised meow.
“Sorry, buddy,” she said, finally finding the source of the ringing under her pillow. She’d been so beat when she got home from the second day of the bar yesterday that she didn’t remember putting it there. She’d never even plugged it in. Her eyes half glued shut, she hit send without bothering to check who was calling.
“Hello?” she mumbled.
“Good afternoon, beautiful.”
A smile washed over her face at the deep timbre of Jack’s voice, and she snuggled under the blanket. “Good afternoon—” She cut herself off before adding the word Sir.
It was starting to feel natural to say it again, but it wasn’t time. Not yet.
“Or maybe I should say good morning,” he continued. “Are you still in bed?”
“Yes. And I intend on staying here for a while.”
Jack chuckled. “So how do you think it went?”
“Good. There were a couple of questions that tripped me up, but I think I got them.”
“And the essay?”
“Piece of cake.”
“Told you so.”
Lilly stuck her tongue out, relieved Jack couldn’t see her doing it. She’d noticed that acting bratty triggered his dominant side. His eyes would darken with a look that said he’d spank her if he could, and in a way that would leave them both hungry for more.
They’d taken things slowly, their study dates eventually supplemented by Saturday dinners. Jack hadn’t done more than kiss her on the steps to her building, although it was often difficult to stop there. He’d pull away, his breathing heavy and fast, voice gruff as he said good night. He never came inside, and she hadn’t been back to his house once. They’d stuck to their plan of not playing, enjoying different kinds of games instead, asking each other questions ranging from what their favorite movie was to the most embarrassing moments from their teenage years. She’d been grateful for the break, but now with the bar over, her mind was free for…other things.
“Will you be rejoining us at the pub tonight?” Jack asked.
“I was planning on it.”
“Good. I have something for you. A congratulatory gift for passing the bar.”
“I haven’t passed it yet.”
“You will.”
Lilly’s smile was so broad she could feel it pressing at her cheeks. “Well then, thank you in advance. I like presents.”
“Would you like to go to the pub together?”
Her breathing hitched. “Are you ready for that?”
“I am. We’ve waited long enough. I want everyone to know you’re mine.”
Her whole body warmed in a rush. “I want that too.”
“Then I’ll pick you up on my way over.” His voice was lower when he added, “I was also wondering if I could give you the gift afterward. At my house.”
His house. She knew what that request meant.
One evening a few weeks back, when it had been particularly difficult for them to tear themselves away from each other, Jack said that sometime after the bar, he’d invite her over. He’d touched her throat as he said it, making sure she understood what he was saying. That inviting her over meant being in his playroom. He’d said she could decide then whether or not she was ready, and if not, he would respect that, no questions asked. It had been the first night she’d said I love you back to him.
It had taken her some time to get there, but when she had, she’d meant it with all her heart. And she’d missed kneeling for him, missed the sound of his voice in her ear as he gave her commands, the feel of his hands on her body. Hearing him call her little girl. Calling him Sir.
She was ready.
“I’d like that.”
Jack exhaled, a quiet sound of relief. “Good. That’s good.”
There was a gap in the conversation, and for a moment, all she could hear was the sound of their breathing. Lilly smiled, her thighs pressing together in anticipation. In a few hours she’d see his dominant side unleashed again, and would give herself to him, completely.
“I’ll see you tonight,” she said. When they hung up, Lilly curled back under
the blanket, her phone held close to her chest.
Hours later, they made their way through the entrance to Barrel ’n’ Flask. The pub was thick with baseball fans and tourists, the air equally heavy with humidity. It was loud, and Jack kept his fingers tightly tangled with hers as he led a path to the back. He hadn’t let go of her for more than a few seconds since he picked her up. The gang was waiting in their usual spot, and Jack slowed before they reached it. He glanced over his shoulder and smiled at her. Squeezing her hand once in an unspoken acknowledgement of what they were about to do, he pulled her through the crowd.
Brady saw them first and banged his fist on the table.
“I knew it!” he shouted, standing up and pointing at them. Lilly laughed and hid her face behind Jack’s arm. Brady turned to Gabe. “Pay up, loser.”
Gabe groaned, took out his wallet and dropped a twenty on the table.
“How are Brady and I supposed to split that?” Nick asked.
Lilly’s mouth dropped open. “You were betting on us?”
Nick grinned and held a hand out for Jack to shake. “Why wouldn’t I bet on a sure thing?”
“Does Josh know?” Brady asked.
Jack nodded as he reached out to clasp Nick’s hand. “He’s known for a while. He’s actually coming out to visit again in a couple of weeks.”
Brady danced around the table, singing, “I knew it,” over and over again.
Jack looked at Patrick and pointed to the money on the table. “I assume you’re getting a piece of this too?”
“You assume wrong,” Patrick said. “I would never stoop so low as to bet on my friend’s happiness.”
“Pffft.” Cassie rolled her eyes at him and turned to Lilly. The rivalry between her and Patrick was obviously here to stay. “They tried to grill me for information, but I told them I didn’t know a thing.”
His Contract: Legally Bound, Book 1 Page 33