Bug

by Hunter, Ellie R.

  “Allison?” I look up and Kallie is awkwardly hovering beside me. “I just wanted you to know nothing happened between Hux and me last night.”

  “Why? I mean, I don’t need to know what he got up to.”

  “Everyone heard him threaten you with going off with me. I’ve never felt so small,” she grates out, shaking her head. “I don’t care if you break up, fight, stay together, or fuck in the lunch hall. I just don’t want to be used as a pawn in your games.”

  My lips are bone dry, and she walks off before I can say anything. However, as I stand, she stops at the door and turns back to me, casting her eyes at the teacher to make sure she isn’t listening.

  “It doesn’t mean he didn’t leave alone, though. Not everyone around here has much self-respect, so don’t think anyone is your true friend in this school when you’re attached to the prince.”

  After saying her peace, she walks out and is gone when I make it to the door to catch up with her.

  I want to know who he left with, and she obviously knows who. An arm slides through mine and I jump before I see Kayleigh beside me.

  “I’m so glad you’re not with that prick anymore,” is the first thing she says to me.

  I cringe. After Kallie’s spiel, I have no idea what the rest of school knows about my relationship, or lack of relationship.

  “I need to get to class. I’m already running late.”

  Although, I could do without it today. All my classes for the rest of the day are with Huxley.

  “Meet me for lunch and you can fill me in on what really happened last night at the beach.” I watch her waltz to her next class, and I inhale deeply, emotionally preparing myself to walk through the door when someone’s grabbing at my arm and ushering me forward.

  I yank my arm back and find Ryder walking too closely beside me.

  “Where are we going? I have to get to class,” I blurt out.

  “You really want to sit next Huxley for the next forty minutes?”

  My shoulders slouch and he cocks his eyebrow.

  “I thought not. Come on. If we get caught, I’m totally blaming you.” He grins and takes hold of my hand. We end up not getting caught as we run for the school gym and he closes the door, shutting us inside, alone.

  “What are we doing here, Ry?”

  “Did you know that this is the only period that the gym isn’t used, and it’s already set up for next class?”

  I take a look around and notice the two trampolines set up. Ryder is already taking his sneakers off and climbing onto the one nearest to him.

  “Come on, Ally. Climb on.”

  I don’t need to be told twice. I slip my shoes off and climb on the free trampoline. I bounce as he does on his and stay bouncing while he falls on his ass and back up to his feet.

  His bounces get higher and he flips his body over.

  “Come on, let go and let your body be free,” he calls over.

  “I don’t know how to do those flips. I’ll break my back.”

  He bends his knees and jumps a little harder, landing on one of the mats, then he’s climbing onto my trampoline.

  We bounce together and he teaches me how to flip. I don’t have the same level of confidence he does, and I quit after two attempts. I fall on my ass, and I don’t bother getting back up. He shows off, doing one extra flip, and then bounces onto his ass opposite me.

  “Who did he leave with last night?” I ask.

  He looks away, sighs, and I know I’ve ruined this moment for us.

  “Does it matter? You walked away from him.”

  “That doesn’t make it right for him to go off with someone else the same night.”

  “That’s not what I’m saying.”

  “Please explain.”

  “You act like you don’t know he’s a spoilt brat and will do what he wants with who he wants. If you take yourself out of the picture, he’ll put someone else in it. I’m not saying it’s right, because it’s not. If you were my girlfriend, I would’ve helped you on the stall instead of making you feel bad all day. But Huxley isn’t wired like us. You take him like that, or you walk away and stay away.”

  I pick at the loose strand of cotton on my sock and repeat, “Who did he leave with last night?”

  Just so I know who to avoid for the rest of the day.

  “Hayley.”

  Hayley?

  The only Hayley I know of is on the swim team, and she wasn’t at the beach last night, not that I saw for the brief time I was there.

  “He called her up and she came out.”

  He called her up?

  He didn’t just go with someone convenient, he went out of his way to hurt me. I’m done.

  “That day in the lunch hall when you said you’re going to marry me one day, did you mean that, or were you playing games like Hux does?”

  My outburst catches him off-guard. His mouth opens and closes numerous times before he sits up straight and scoots closer to me. His hand, warm and softer than Huxley’s, wraps around the back of my neck and pulls me closer to him.

  “I’m not going to let you use me in a moment of madness because he’s hurt you. It would mean everything to me, and in time, nothing to you. You must know how I feel about you, Allison, but you’re his. He fucked up last night, and he did so intentionally, but we both know he’ll talk you around, and I’ll be left with memories of your lips on mine, driving me crazy. As long as I don’t know what your touch does to me, it can’t torment me.”

  Wow, I don’t know how to reply to that. There’s always been a push-pull attraction between us, but I didn’t realise how deep his feelings went.

  Sitting back, I open the space between us and don’t stop. I slide off the trampoline and stuff my feet back into my shoes.

  “Thanks for the distraction, but I better face the music.”

  The bell rings and echoes around the gym as I make my escape. Even if it is over between Huxley and me, there’s no way Ryder and I could be together.

  It’s lunch before I see him, Huxley Bailey-Vaughan. The bane of my existence. Shoving my books in my locker, his cologne fills my space as he leans against Kayleigh’s locker. If she’s not here like she used to be, then I don’t need any guesses to know she’s with Craig. They come as a pair now.

  “You missed second period. Where were you?”

  “You don’t need to know, you know, now that we’re not together.”

  He has the audacity to roll his eyes at me and pushes away from the locker. His arm shoots past my head, and his hand shuts my locker door.

  “We’re still together, Bug. You wronged me yesterday, I wronged you last night. I’m sure we’re both sorry, and now we’re getting the fuck over it.”

  I’m in shock.

  In real shock.

  I can’t breathe.

  I can’t think.

  “Do you actually hear yourself when you speak? You called up another girl and left with her, and you think we’re still together? That last night was just a little fight? You’re out of your mind.”

  His sigh of frustration ignites an anger in me that I’ve never felt before. I push away from him, but don’t get very far. His grip on my arm pulls me back and he traps me against my locker.

  “I didn’t do anything with her. She showed up, and I dropped her off at home after the party. I didn’t kiss or fuck her, I didn’t even touch her. I was so pissed with you, and then you left, and I missed you. It was you I thought about all fucking night, and I would’ve told you all this this morning, but you didn’t show up before the bell.”

  I hate the rush of relief I feel hearing nothing happened, and he knows it too when he dips his head closer to mine.

  His lips brush against my cheek, and his hand winds around the back of my neck. My body screams at how much it’s missed his touch.

  “Do you know what I realised last night when I laid awake all night thinking of you?” he whispers, so close to my ear, I can feel his warm breath hit my skin.

 
“What?”

  “I love you, Bug.”

  “You…love me?”

  “I do, and it’s why I act so irrational around you. You’ve brought out all these emotions in me, and I don’t know how to control them. I’ve never been in love before.”

  “I…”

  “Say you love me too, Bug.”

  “I hate you,” I throw at him instead.

  “You love me.”

  He softly drags his lips down my jawline, dropping to my neck. “Say the words.”

  His teeth nip at the exposed skin between my neck and shoulder, and it warms me in places it certainly shouldn’t while we’re at school.

  “I love you too.”

  “How much?” he pushes.

  “Too fucking much,” I pant, losing my damn mind.

  He withdraws, leaving a chill across my skin with his absence.

  “So, we’re together, and we’re in love. Can we stop this silly nonsense and get to lunch before it’s over?”

  I nod and he takes my hand. Ryder is standing with Dash, Craig, and Kayleigh, waiting on us I imagine, and shame creeps up on me. With a slight shake of his head, his disappointment is clear to me. He’s first to look away, and not in embarrassment, but in pure disappointment. He called it right, but I feel more for Huxley. I didn’t lie, I do love him, and he loves me. We can move forward and put this behind us. Now that we know where we stand with each other, there won’t be any more problems between us.

  Life is moving so fast. Tobias is now learning Spanish, along with Trenton. Whatever Huxley has Trenton doing, Tobias has joined him. Their lesson finishes in five minutes, and if I had more control, I’d pull him out early, but he wouldn’t like it, and neither would Huxley. He’s keeping him busy all the time, driving a wedge between us, and I’m afraid after Tobias heard the truth, I can’t afford to give him too much time and space to hate me even more.

  The door opens in the library, and Trenton clings to Tobias’s side. My boy looks down on him with such pride, it’s easy to forget they haven’t known one another that long. Their bond is growing stronger every day and ours is weakening. Everything is weakening since we were brought here, my relationship with my son, my grief for Conner. This house, and Huxley, they’re enough to drown you in your own self.

  “Trenton, go and find Rose and tell her to start fixing up lunch.”

  He looks up at Tobias, as if waiting for clearance, and I feel sick when Tobias nods down at his younger brother. It’s such a Huxley move. The little boy runs off in search of the dragon woman, and Tobias can barely look at me. He’s aged emotionally so much in so little time.

  “Come on, let’s go out into the garden.”

  I hold my hand out for him to take, and he flat-out ignores me. My son, who up until a few weeks ago, looked up at me and saw a hero, now, at the age of eight years, would rather surround himself with crowns and strangers.

  He keeps quiet as we walk over to the summer house, and I exhale a shaky breath. I need my son back.

  “Tell me one thing, tell me your happiest memory with Dad.”

  “Which one?”

  My heart breaks with the lies I’ve told him; my comeuppance has never tasted so vile.

  “Conner.”

  I bite down on my tongue to stop myself from screaming.

  “I miss him coming into my room before I went to sleep and asking how my day was, and then he’d tell me how his day was.”

  I know what he’s talking about. I caught a few of their conversations. It was their “guy time.”

  “I miss him too.”

  “No you don’t, you love my new dad. You let him bring us here, and now you’re getting married. You lie and I hate you.”

  Grasping his hand in mine, I squeeze them together. “Please listen to me, sweetheart. There are so many things going on that you don’t understand. I promise you, I miss your da…I mean, Conner, so very much. I know this is all confusing, but—”

  “You still lied,” he snaps, interrupting me. “You’re a bad mom, and you lie all the time.”

  Huxley’s voice interrupts my son’s tongue lashing, and I don’t know if I’m grateful or scornful.

  “Tobias, apologise to your mother. She’s the only woman on the planet who loves you purely and truly.”

  Rolling my eyes, I can’t believe his audacity. He couldn’t give a shit about his own mother. If she loved him pure and true, he might not be the monster he is today.

  Hatred flashes in Tobias’s eyes, and Hux smirks.

  “Go inside and eat your lunch.”

  He doesn’t need to be told twice. He scurries into the house, and Hux takes his place.

  “It’s fascinating how fast kids can turn on you, isn’t it? Then again, he must’ve had some underlying problem with you to make it so easy for me to manipulate him.”

  God, I hate the cruel edge to his voice. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to keep a straight face around him.

  “He’ll come around. He’s been through a lot, and time will heal it.” Although, the longer we stay here, I’m not so sure.

  “How much time do you need?”

  “There isn’t enough time in the world to heal all the bad you’ve done to me.”

  He chuckles softly as he stands. Fiddling with his shirt cuffs, he straightens his tie.

  “We’re spending the weekend on the water. Tobias will be fine with your parents, and don’t bother packing anything. I’m buying you all new things.”

  “Sure, Huxley,” I sigh.

  No doubt my sad tone will entice his sharp tongue. However, Dash appearing at the top steps has him closing his mouth for once.

  “Behave yourself over the next few days and I’ll be nice to you when we’re alone this weekend.”

  With nothing left to be said, he leaves me alone in the garden and walks inside with his lawyer fiend.

  I’d love nothing more than to catch my breath out here in the warm sunshine, but I need to catch up with Tobias while Huxley is busy with Dash. We weren’t finished.

  He’s already in his new room when I find him. His over-the-top newly decorated bedroom.

  Once again, he’s glued to his iPad, his lunch untouched. I join him on his bed and slide the photograph I brought up the other day from the basement over his screen.

  “No matter what happens here, never forget our lives with him.”

  It’s a past that gave him the emotion of empathy and sweetness, something his father lacks and has to pretend to have.

  THE PAST

  The music is so loud, I can’t hear what anyone is saying. Not that it bothers me. I don’t care what they’re talking about. I want to drink, dance, and forget all about the crappy week I’ve had at school. I failed a chem test, and Dad threatened to ground me. I’ve never failed a test before, and it kills me that I have a bad mark on my record now. So, I grab another beer from the ice bucket and wander over to Huxley and fall on his lap. His arm instinctively winds around me and pulls me closer to him.

  He’s talking with Ryder and Dash. I feel Ryder’s eyes on me, but I don’t look at him. He’s either judging me or looking at me like he wants to kiss me. He told me months ago that he was going to marry me one day, and I actually believed him for all of five seconds when I didn’t think it was a joke being played on me. When I was younger, I thought love was a one-track path. Not that I’m in love with Ryder. My feelings for him are confusing and take on their own rollercoaster in my heart when he’s around. Half the time, I have no idea what he actually feels for me, or if he’s playing at some sort of joke. Occasionally, I believe it’s Huxley making him do these things to mess with me. Like I said, I have no idea what’s going on.

  “Let’s do shots,” Ryder hollers, and everyone erupts into cheers around us. I sit forward and sink in between Huxley’s legs, waiting for my shot.

  He pours one, then another, then another, and another. Drink spills everywhere as he slides them around the table to each of us, and Huxley crushes into my b
ack as he leans forward and scoops up my shot. He necks it in one and tosses the glass over his shoulder, not caring where it lands or who it lands on.

  “Hey, that was mine.”

  “You’ve had enough, and you’ve already got a bottle of beer in your hand.”

  “Beer doesn’t count,” I chuckle, and then stop abruptly.

  His grip on my arm begins to burn as he leans in closely to my ear.

  “You’re drinking too much.”

  “It’s a party, Hux. It’s what you do,” I argue.

  “Not you,” is all he says.

  For fuck’s sake, I can’t do this anymore. Getting up off his lap, I tip the bottle back, ready to down the beer I already have, and he jumps up to his feet and snatches the bottle from me.

  “Don’t push me tonight, Bug,” he warns.

  I’m sick of his warnings, and his orders. I’m sick of him always telling me what to do, how to be, how much to drink.

  “Fine, I’ll find someone else to drink with.”

  I’m pushing him now and we both know it, but I don’t care. I’m kind of enjoying it.

  I spin around on my heels and Craig is walking toward our little group with an armful of beers. Perfect.

  Light on my feet, I pounce toward him, ready to snatch one when we hear, “Hand her a beer and I’ll kick your ass!”

  Craig’s quick to shrug me away and brush past me and carry on to the table. He hands everyone a beer and keeps two for himself. What a prick.

  “Stop being an asshole, Huxley. You don’t get to monitor how much I drink.” I glare at him.

  Everyone has gone quiet around us, and the music has died down. This is humiliating.

  “I get to say when you’ve had enough, and you’re done for tonight. Go to bed and sleep it off.”

  “Sleep what off? I’m not even drunk,” I argue.

  I’m a little buzzed, that’s it.

  Sighing, I say, “I’m going home. If you’re going to act like my dad, I might as well listen to him.”

  My back is barely turned to him when he’s grabbing onto my arm in the same place he gripped earlier tonight. Hot pain shoots up to my shoulder, and my reflex is to shove him off. He falls back on his foot, pushing me forward. And out of nowhere, his hand flies through the air and lands across my lip and half my cheek. The force has me falling to the ground.