Bug

by Hunter, Ellie R.

  The muscles in my neck nearly snap when I shoot a glare at him.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Rolling his eyes, he throws his head back against the headrest and chuckles.

  “Even as high as I am, I can clearly see how much you like her.”

  Shit. If he’s seen it, Huxley definitely has. I’ll have to watch for him coming for me. He certainly won’t like me being in love with his girlfriend.

  “It’s doesn’t matter how I feel. As a human being, you should feel something when you see a man hitting a woman.”

  “I did feel something, I felt…for fuck’s sake, they can’t be fighting a-fucking-gain.’”

  A house full of people, and only I give a shit about her. Rising from the chair, I don’t give a fuck when it tips over. Dash can smoke himself into a coma for all I care. Craig can fuck his way through to the Devil. Kayleigh can make out she cares but shows her true colours when she lets a guy distract her. And Huxley, I’m not going to let him slap his way to a place in Hell.

  Walking through the house, no one tries to talk to me, and I take the stairs two at a time until I’m on the landing and pass the many bedrooms until I’m outside Huxley’s door.

  I raise my hand to knock when her laughter hits my ears. It’s muffled through the wood, but I definitely heard it. I’d know her laugh anywhere.

  I hear it again, and my heart plummets to the floor. Shaking my head, I drop my fist and step away from the door. She’s never going to be free of him when he can hit her and still make her laugh an hour later.

  Why did I have to fall in love with a girl who loves the devil?

  “Did you see her lip?”

  “She’s tried covering it up, but she’s not fooling anyone.”

  “Can you believe she showed up with him this morning like nothing happened?”

  “I’d never let a guy do that to me.”

  “Zoe said she saw the whole thing, and that it was their foreplay.”

  I can’t bear hearing another word. Turning in my seat, the girls shut up and I ignore Kallie looking at me like she knows more than she actually does.

  “If you have something to say, why don’t you say it to Huxley? I’m sure he’ll love to hear all your bullshit.”

  Part of me wants Huxley to hear everyone’s opinions on him, but it wouldn’t make a difference. He sees everyone at school as beneath him, he simply wouldn’t care what they think of him. The part that loves Allison doesn’t want anything said. She’s chosen to stay with him, and I don’t want her feeling like everyone is against her and talking about her, even though they are.

  “Maybe you should rethink who your best friends with, Ryder.” Kallie grins sarcastically. “Or is there another reason you hang around with a woman beater? Perhaps it’s because of her you defend him.”

  “I’m not defending shit, and you know less than shit, Kalls.”

  The guy himself walks into class, and the girls magically fall silent.

  Turning in my seat, I face the front and sigh when he drops his bag on the floor next to his desk beside mine. I could so easily grab onto his hair and smash his face on his desk, numerous times, over and over, until his blood coats the wooden top.

  “How’s Allison, Huxley?” Kallie asks, raising her voice loud enough for the class to hear.

  “She’s good, why? You hear that I hit her and now think she’s some sort of abused woman?”

  Closing my eyes, I stay out of this one. He brought this on himself, and he’s more than capable of handling his own shit.

  “You did slap her, though, didn’t you? One day, she’s going to leave you and the whole town will know it’s because you treat her worse than dirt.”

  The silence in the classroom is thick. You could almost taste it if anyone dared move to open their mouth.

  “What’s your problem? You jealous I didn’t choose you or something?”

  Her laugh could cut through ice, and Huxley’s eyes darken five shades.

  “I wouldn’t be jealous of either of you in a million years. You’re both toxic and dangerous, and one day, if you don’t let her go, it’ll get someone killed. So no, I’m not jealous about not being in your orbit, because I wouldn’t want to be.”

  For once, Huxley Bailey-Vaughan is speechless as he takes his seat, turns his back on her, and faces the front of the class.

  Even I don’t dare say a word. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Kallie grinning.

  “Oh, look, maybe she’ll leave you after all. Isn’t that her running out of school?”

  The entire class moves to the window, and sure enough, Allison is running like a bat out of hell across the front lawn. Huxley is the only one to stay in his seat. He looks to me for confirmation and I nod once.

  I hope she runs fast, and far.

  But as far as she can go, Huxley can go farther.

  As fast as she can run, he’ll always be faster.

  Mr. Brown walks into the class and has everyone in their seats within five seconds. Allison has at least forty minutes to run before Huxley can get out of class and ditch the rest of school to chase her.

  Good luck, Butterfly.

  Ryder

  The more I think about it, the better it is that Allison stays out of the town’s eye. She can’t make it out of bed, and it works for me because she won’t, by accident or through outburst, blurt out the truth. Not that she knows everything.

  Pulling up outside the Dwyer’s house, it saddens me that Mrs. Dwyer, in time, will have lost her entire family. It kind of reminds me of Allison in a way, as she’s spent her life losing people.

  My shoes tap against the pavement as I walk up to the door and rap my knuckles against the wood.

  The curtain twitches in the front window, and shortly after, the locks are being opened.

  Mrs. Dwyer greets me with sullen eyes and a hankie clenched in her hand. She opens the door wider and I step inside. The house is pleasant, tidy, and full of framed photographs on the walls.

  Huxley and I once had a conversation about Kayleigh and Allison’s parents’ houses, wondering what it would be like to live in such a small space. Huxley, being Huxley, couldn’t use his imagination and dismissed the idea straight away. The thought of living in such close proximity to his parents outright disgusted him.

  I, on the other hand, did use my imagination, and I reckon I would have liked it, knowing my parents were close, like hearing my dad whistling in the living area while I was in the kitchen. If my dad whistles in the living area at home, you certainly wouldn’t hear it in the kitchen. In fact, when you’re in the kitchen, you don’t even know that anyone else is in the house.

  My house is a lot colder than the Dwyer’s or the Miller’s houses, and that’s what I would have given anything to change. Huxley liked to believe he was lord of the manor, but I hated going home to find my parents had left a message with Bruce, the butler, to let me know they had sauntered off on another getaway, or another business trip.

  “Mr. Dwyer is out back, trying to hide the fact he’s smoking from me. Would you like a tea? Or coffee? I think I have some fresh lemonade in the fridge…”

  She trails off, more to herself than to me, and I wander out the back door as she goes into the kitchen.

  The smell of rancid smoke comes from the shed as I cross the neatly kept lawn. I find him staring at the wall of yard tools as he sits in an old beat-up armchair. This must be his space.

  His old grey eyes are tired. Mostly sad, but tired.

  “I spent most of my time out here after Kayleigh…after he took her from us. It wasn’t fair to Marie, and now I’m the one who’s leaving her, and she’ll have the stigma of my actions haunting her in this town. She won’t say it, but she doesn’t agree with what I did.”

  With nowhere else to sit, I lean against the wooden doorframe and sigh.

  “Deep down, I reckon she agrees. It’s not usually a situation you find yourself in.”

  “True, but I know my wife. She’ll
never forgive me for tarnishing our souls with murder.”

  “Would you do it again?” I ask.

  He stubs out his cigarette in the ashtray and pushes it under his chair. It must be his hiding place.

  “He took my daughter from me, and now I hear he’s taken my grandson from us, and you ask me if I would do it again?” he sneers at me like I’m dirt. “I wouldn’t have done it the first time if I wouldn’t do it again and again.”

  “Do you believe your soul will go to Hell?”

  “I don’t believe in anything now, apart from living the rest of my days with my wife.”

  “Huxley took a lot from a lot of people. Your daughter paid with her life, but others weren’t so lucky in a way.”

  “Are you talking about the Miller girl?”

  I nod, standing taller.

  “If she had spoken out, perhaps he wouldn’t have gotten the chance to ruin my family. You think you know tragedy because you were friends with him? I guarantee you haven’t felt the pain I’m in. I hope one day when you have children of your own, you won’t know the pain of losing a child. The pain of your wife looking at you like a stranger instead of the man she has been living with for the last thirty-seven years. Pain of knowing your grandchild is now going to be tarnished with this history, of his grandpa killing his father at his wedding. I may have taken revenge and I’d do it again, but it’s come at a price, a very high price.”

  I don’t know what else to say. He isn’t a man you can talk around until he feels better, and he can’t be brought around with money. He’s actually one of the good guys, and he’s going to die, to me, a hero with a blackened reputation. Somewhere, deep down inside of me, guilt is edging in. But the part that needed Allison to be free and happy outweighs it, so I shove it down even deeper.

  “You’ll have to deal with your solicitors, but a court date won’t be set until you’re nearly—”

  “Dead,” he spits out for me.

  “Yeah, and of course, I’ll cover any costs you come across.”

  He rises from his chair and looks me in the eye for the first time since I arrived.

  “I don’t know what your plans are for the future, or what your reasons were for making justice for Kayleigh possible, but I thank you, and I pity you all at the same time, because I believe you did this for reasons that will never bring you happiness or peace.”

  A soft knock on the side of the shed breaks the tension, and he sits back down in his chair. I’m thankful for the interruption, because I don’t think he’s wrong.

  Mrs. Dwyer appears in the doorway, a tray of her fresh lemonade in her hands, and a stretched smile on her face.

  “You didn’t answer, so I poured lemonade.”

  “He’s leaving, Marie.”

  More sadness, if it’s possible, fills her eyes, and I try to smile an apology.

  “If you need anything, call me. I don’t care if you hate me, or think I’m doing this for selfish reasons. I’m not. Kayleigh didn’t deserve to die, and she was my friend.”

  With that said, I slide past Mrs. Dwyer, cut across the lawn, and head out through their side gate. I’m nearly at my car when Mr. Dwyer calls after me.

  “Cover the costs of any bills that occur from our arrangement and never darken my doorstep again, and I’ll keep my mouth shut on your involvement.”

  I pause on the sidewalk, and Mr. Dwyer is close behind me. Christ, for a guy who’s dying, he sure can move fast, and very fucking quietly.

  “Deal,” I say. “And whether you believe me or not, I’ll be in Trenton’s life, and I’ll be damned if he turns out like his father.”

  “As someone who won’t be around in the near future, all I can do is believe you. One more thing, wherever she decides to take him, if you’re going to be in his life, make sure my Marie gets to see him.”

  Then he turns and walks back inside the house. That shit is down to Allison. I can guess once she’s thinking clearly again she’ll want him to see her, but it’s up to her.

  Next on my to-do list is to visit her parents. While I’m making the rounds, trying to sort shit out, they’re second to Mr. Dwyer. The Miller’s live three streets over, and I park outside their house. I inadvertently look up at the window above the living area. Her room. The window I used to wish I was climbing through, and not Huxley.

  Again, I rap my knuckles on a wooden door, and this time I’m greeted with the father, and not the red-eyed, sniffling mother.

  He doesn’t speak but jerks his chin and broadens his shoulders. Ally’s dad isn’t a man to be tested or taken lightly. It took Huxley months to make him believe she had run off and wasn’t well. He promised them he would find her, and when he did, they believed he was a hero.

  “I was wondering why you haven’t been to visit your daughter?” I blurt out, not really giving a shit if I’m being disrespectful.

  “It’s none of your business, boy.”

  Boy?

  Stepping closer, he doesn’t move, but I catch the wariness in his eyes.

  “She’s my business, and I think we’re all done pretending we believed Huxley and his fantastical delusions. You know your daughter, sir, and you knew she left to get away from him, but you let him play you because he promised to bring her back. You didn’t trust that she made the right decision to leave. She needs you now, and you need to listen to what she tells you. Be her fucking father.”

  He pushes the door wider and I narrow my eyes at him. I just called him out as a father and he’s inviting me in?

  “You obviously know more than you’re letting on. Come in and enlighten us.”

  He leads me through a set of double doors and into the living room. He gestures for me to sit on the couch, and he takes the armchair opposite. A small wooden table sits between us and is highly polished.

  “For the record, we never truly believed everything he said.”

  “You treated her like shit when she came back,” I point out.

  “I was hurt,” he snaps at me. “You don’t have the first idea what it’s like for your own daughter not to trust you will keep her safe. She ran because she didn’t believe I would keep him away from her.”

  I’m starting to think I don’t want any kids in the future in case I have a daughter. I never want to be in these men’s positions. I’ve hated myself at times, not being able to keep Ally safe all these years, and she certainly isn’t my daughter.

  “Huxley abused her from the moment they got together. He would play games with her until she didn’t know her own name. She rarely came home because he liked her to be with him all the time, and it was easier to please him than anger him. She didn’t go to college because it was him who didn’t want her to go. She went to all those luncheons with Regina because she was being prepped for marriage.”

  His face pales as he listens, and I carry on before I lose his attention.

  “It came out that Huxley was planning on popping the question to her, and do you know where I found her?”

  I know this is cruel, but he needs to know, and if I have to deliver the news in this tone to get through, I will.

  He shakes his head, remaining quiet.

  “In her bathtub. The water was a deep red from the blood where she’d sliced her wrists open. That’s how much she didn’t want to marry him. She would rather have died, and if it weren’t for me, she would have.”

  “Oh, sweet Jesus,” he sighs, and the skin around his knuckles turn white from the strain.

  “She was in the hospital for two days before he took her away for a so-called romantic getaway. He finished college early and went to work with his father so he could be even closer to her, and that tipped her over the edge. You being bitter because she ran, you should be relieved she’s alive. You being angry that she didn’t come to you, she couldn’t, not in this town. He owned everywhere and everyone. You know that. But he’s gone now, and she’s still here.”

  I rise from the sofa and straighten my sweater.

  “From my experien
ce with your daughter, I wouldn’t put it past her to leave this town. It’s offered her nothing and brought her nothing but pain. The power he held was tight, suffocating.”

  “The power he had?” he whispers to himself.

  “He slapped her at a party once, and no one murmured a word about it, not that night and not around town. That’s why you never heard about it, and that’s the power he had.” I leave out the part where he raped her, not because I don’t want to hurt him, but because that’s on Allison to share, if she ever wished to.

  “He hit her?” he gasps.

  “He did. As far as I know, it was only the once, but I can’t be sure. You’ll have to ask her yourself.”

  A crash comes from the kitchen, and a whimper follows. My guess is Allison’s mom heard every word we’ve spoken, and I use the distraction to say my goodbyes and leave.

  I’ve planted the seeds. All I can hope is that they’ll go to their daughter and finally give her the support she needs.

  Back in my car, I sit for a minute and take a breath. I’ve spent so long having to work quickly so Huxley didn’t catch on to my plans, and now I have all the time in the world.

  All I want to know now is how Ally and the boys are doing. I want to drive back to the house, but she needs time and space. She needs to be with the boys and connect with Trenton.

  I hope one day, she’ll need to be with me. If not, I have no idea what I’m going to do next or where my life will take me.

  Ryder – The Past

  Her hair is down today, and all I want to do is run my fingers through it and see if it’s as soft as it looks. Allison Miller. The most beautiful girl in school, and the one who no one sees. I don’t know what other guys think when they’re near her, but no one is interested in her. I’ve been watching her lately. She hasn’t got a boyfriend. She isn’t a nerd, but she does her studies, and she does well in her classes. She’s always with her best friend, Kayleigh Dwyer, and for the sake of my sanity, I’ve never seen her hanging around any guys. Again, I don’t know why I’m the only one who seems to see she’s alive. Her friend isn’t bad to look at, but it’s hard to see her when all I see is Allison.