Underneath

by Andie M. Long

  ‘I’ve just made a pot of coffee. I suppose asking if you want one’s a silly question?’

  ‘A bit.’ My mouth attempts a smile.

  ‘Take a seat. I’ll be back in a sec.’

  She brings in two mugs of coffee and a plate of chocolate biscuits on a tray, setting it on the floor in front of us.

  ‘Sorry. I’ve packed the table.’

  ‘Oh, yeah, right.’

  ‘I haven’t seen you at school the last few days? Niall said you were on a mini-break?’

  ‘Niall threw me out after a photo arrived of Seb leaving our house.’

  ‘Oh.’

  ‘It’s not what you think. He came around because I needed some advice, but presented with that picture on the back of everything else…Niall found me guilty as charged.’

  ‘I’m sure he’s just angry and bewildered. I’ve been there. You don’t know what to believe.’

  ‘Yes, well aren’t we all? Anyway, I’m going back home tonight to talk to him and try and get him to see reason, then the ball’s in his court. I’m tired of it. If he wants to pack his bags, he can go.’

  ‘You don’t mean that, Lauren. You love Niall.’

  ‘Yeah? Well maybe that’s not enough. Right now, I’m just focussed on Joe. I want to be near my son, and if that means it’s just him and me, so be it.’

  ‘He’d miss his father like crazy. Tyler does, and look what a moron he is. Forget your bitterness, Lauren. Niall’s not your mother and father. He’s hurt. This has affected him too and he must be scared of what could happen to Joe, just like you are.’

  I wince as she mentions my parents, but perhaps she’s right. I’m building up a wall ready to protect myself again.

  ‘I’ll see how it goes later. Right now, I need to talk to you about Monique.’

  I explain about finding the photos in the vanity case, about several of them being a younger Bettina, and tell her about the one of Monique and Danny.

  ‘Well if she had an affair with him, I never knew about it. All the ones I knew about were stereotypical blondes with big boobs.’

  ‘I don’t understand why she would attack me though. I’ve got no real connection to Danny.’

  ‘Who knows how a weirdo’s mind works. All the time you’ve known her, has she ever displayed any strange behaviour, stalked anyone or anything?’

  ‘No, she’s just been my best mate. We’ve been there for each other for everything over the last five years. As soon as I met her at yoga I felt like we’d known each other forever.’ My voice cracks. ‘I can’t believe she could be behind all this. I mean, she’s just been through a miscarriage…’

  There’s an uncomfortable silence for a minute or so.

  ‘How sure are you that she actually had a miscarriage?’

  I think back. I never saw evidence of any blood or a mess, all I had was Monique’s tears and her word. ‘Making something like that up would be totally sick.’

  ‘You reckon?’

  I frown. ‘But why? If it wasn’t genuine, what did she achieve by faking it?’

  ‘I have no idea. We need to try and get more of a clue.’

  ‘I’m thinking about going back and gathering some evidence, see if I can find out any more, but I don’t know. I feel like I need to talk to Niall first. He’s always so good at thinking of what to do.’ This makes me feel sad. I’ve always depended on Niall, maybe too much. Will he be there now when I really need him, or should I do things myself?

  ‘We need to get this sorted as soon as possible. You talk to Niall tonight, and I’ll call you in the morning. When you’ve gone I’ll ring the prison and try and set up a visit for tomorrow morning. Danny’s allowed three visits a week at the moment, so hopefully I’ll be able to get to see him. I’ll ask him how he knows Monique.’

  ‘That’d be great.’ I realise I’ve not drunk any of my coffee and leave it untouched. ‘Maybe I need to speak to Monique’s Doctor Love as well, find out if he was asked to crash into Niall’s car? It seems too coincidental now.’

  ‘I wouldn’t at the moment. He might tip Monique off.’

  ‘You’re right. Okay, I’ll speak to you in the morning. I’m sorry I had to come and bug you yet again.’

  ‘It seems we’re in this together, Lauren, for whatever reason.’

  ‘Yeah, well let’s try and find out what that is.’

  I get a hero’s welcome from Joe at school. ‘Mum, you’re back. Please don’t go away for as long again.’

  ‘I won’t, I promise.’ My words are the truth. I won’t be leaving Joe again for a long while. I need to know he’s safe, and I need him to know he can rely on me to look after him. Once again I feel rage at Niall for taking precious time with my son away from me.

  Seeing Niall makes me feel like I’m facing the executioner. He ruffles Joe’s hair as he goes to hug him. The usual "have you had a nice day, Joe" is answered with "fine," and then Joe’s off to his room, regardless of the fact he hasn’t seen me for days. It makes me feel warm inside, that the thought of me being here is enough.

  ‘Let’s hear it then, your latest version of the truth.’

  I don’t bite back. I take a seat diagonally across from Niall at the dining table. He sits back in the chair with his arms folded. He looks impenetrable and I need to get through to him. So I begin.

  ‘The other night at Monique’s, I found some of my stolen jewellery in a case in her wardrobe.’ Niall opens his mouth to speak and I hold up my hand. ‘Let me finish. There were some photos of Bettina from a few years ago in there too, and the photo of me and Seb that was delivered through the post to you. And… an old picture of Monique looking very loved up with Danny Southwell. My assumption then, is that for whatever reason, but connected to Danny and Bettina, Monique is behind everything that’s happened. Also,’ I take a deep breath, ‘Monique’s boyfriend is the doctor who crashed into your car.’

  ‘I’ll kill her.’ Niall is out of the chair with his face in a grimace and his fists clenched. ‘Get the phone. I’m calling the police.’

  ‘That’s the thing though Niall. I don’t have the photos or the jewellery. I didn’t want to tip her off so I left them there.’

  ‘Well if we ring the police now we can show them where it all is.’

  ‘But then I may never know why she targeted us. What if she’s moved everything? I want to go back to the apartment and try and see if I can find anything else.’

  ‘You must be bloody joking. You can’t go there now. Who knows what she’ll do?’

  ‘If she was going to harm me, Niall, she’s had plenty of opportunity to do that already. I don’t know what her game is, but I do know it’s not to hurt me.’

  He folds his arms across his chest. ‘Well, I don’t know how you expect me to just sit here while you enter the monster’s lair.’

  ‘I’ll be fine. I need to do this. I promise, any sign of something iffy and I’ll be out of there. I thought I’d go tomorrow morning. I’ll tell her we’ve fallen out, so she won’t be suspicious of my turning up at her house. I’ll find some way of getting the stuff and get out. Hopefully I won’t be long.’

  I uncross my legs as I’m getting pins and needles in one foot and shake it out. ‘There is something I need you to do, though. Is there anyone at the hospital who could look up whether or not Monique attended A&E, or the antenatal ward? Bettina reckons she might have faked the miscarriage.’

  He peers at me with his forehead all creasing. ‘Faked a miscarriage? I just can’t take this all in, Lauren.’ He sighs. ‘It breaks all the rules of confidentiality, but I’ll ring our secretary. Write me her date of birth and the first line of her address.’ He passes me a post-it note and pen. I quickly scribble them down and he goes off into the lounge. He returns a couple of minutes later.

  ‘Monique hasn’t been anywhere near a hospital since she’s been in Sheffield. She’s not even on the system.’

  ‘Are you sure they inputted her
details correctly?’

  ‘She did what’s called a soundex – it looks for anyone remotely relating to the details. There was nothing.’

  And with that, one of the branches of my heart snaps. My best friend is not who she seems.

  For the rest of the evening we imitate normal family life, with the usual sit down meal and bath time, then I go to my own room whilst Niall sits in the lounge. My own bed feels wonderful. I dive under the sheets, pulling the covers up around me and spend a long time wondering what the next day will bring.

  I ring Monique the following morning and she’s delighted that I’m coming over. I never usually see her on a Friday as it’s her ‘working from home day’, but obviously being given a chance to catch up on developments means she’ll do her work later. ‘Bring some of your baking,’ she says. ‘I’m in the mood for something delicious.’

  Damn. I forgot I was supposed to have been baking. I pick up a tupperware box. I’ll call into a bakery on my way over and hope I can wing it.

  On arrival, I’m ushered into the lounge where she is dressed in a long burgundy silk chemise with black lace trim and matching gown. She looks like she needs one of those long cigarettes they had in the nineteen twenties. I don’t know if I should be afraid of her or act differently, but she just appears to be my same old mate. I just can’t get over the fact that she could be anything else. She sits on the settee and indicates I should take a seat on the other one, then passes me a drink. ‘I’m being decadent today, I’ve made Mimosas.’

  ‘Oh, any reason why?’ I ask

  ‘A few things I’ve had in the pipeline seem to be coming to fruition. I feel we should celebrate. Also, it will help cheer you up. What’s Niall done this time, anyway?’

  I must act normal. ‘He’s had a big go at me about everything. I assume it’s the stress, but I’m not putting up with it anymore.’

  ‘Good girl. Right, what did you bake?’

  I get out the cupcakes I’ve bought; all pink icing and coated in sprinkles. They smell amazing, either recently cooked or warmed through by the bakery. Thankfully made in the shop and not of uniform size, I can get away with having not baked them myself.

  ‘Have you heard anything else about the break in? Are they going to replace your clothes?’

  ‘They will do, but these things take time, don’t they?’

  She takes a bite of cupcake. ‘Umm, these are gorgeous, you should think of selling them in a shop.’

  Does she know? I need to act fast and get her out of here. I feel sick.

  ‘Is everything all right Lauren?’

  ‘No.’ I hold my guts as if I’m in severe pain. ‘Owww, it really hurts.’

  ‘What is it? Shall I get you a hot water bottle?’

  ‘It won’t go without medicine. Can you fetch me some if I give you the money? Your local chemist isn’t far, is it?’ I push the half eaten cupcake and the bubbling Mimosa out of the way. ‘I knew I shouldn’t have had them. Serves me right for trying to have fun when my life’s a pile of steaming dung.’

  ‘Honestly, Lo, there’s always a drama when you’re around. Have you thought of applying for your equity card?’

  I manage a brave smile. ‘I feel a bit sick.’

  ‘Go to the bathroom,’ she orders pointing. ‘I’ll get straight dressed and go to the chemist. It shouldn’t take me long in the car. By the way, if you puke, you’re cleaning it up. I might be your best mate, but even I don’t love you that much.’

  I wander to the bathroom clutching my stomach as she goes to get ready.

  The minute she leaves the flat I run straight into the spare room. The vanity case is still at the back of the wardrobe. I grab it, and with hands shaking so much I can barely open it, I record with the tiny Flip camcorder I have in my pocket and then remove the photos and jewellery and put them down my bra. I have about ten minutes or so before she’s back if there’s no queue, so I keep an eye on my watch as I move around the room. As I pass her dressing table I bang into the corner bruising my leg and making myself go light headed with the pain. As I do so, I hear something falling down the back of it. Mindful to not move anything visible, lest she get suspicious whilst I’m there, I pull out the dresser to see what fell. Behind is a cheap looking handset. I’d put money on it being the one used to message me. I run and place it at the bottom of my handbag, remove the photos and jewellery from my bra and stuff them inside as well. Once I’m back in the room I shove the dresser into its original position. I look around the room again, but in full on panic mode with the adrenaline kicking my ass I realise that I really am about to be sick. I run back to the bathroom and get there just in time; a half eaten cupcake mixed with Mimosa shoots into the toilet bowl. The look and smell of it is enough that I begin to heave again and that’s how Monique finds me, sweating and bent over the toilet seat.

  ‘Oh gosh, you really are ill, aren’t you, Lo?’

  I nod my head. I feel clammy and sweaty. I feel really rough now. ‘I think it’s best if I head home and go to bed.’

  ‘Nonsense. You can have a rest here. The spare room--’

  She looks towards the spare room and frowns. ‘I’m sure I closed that door.’

  ‘I’ve been in here since you left,’ I lie. ‘How can you know how you left a door, anyway? I don’t know how I leave the house in a morning, never mind what chaos I leave behind.’

  ‘It’s just who I am,’ says Monique. ‘I always close every door. It’s just one of my little rituals.’

  My mouth feels dry. How have I never noticed this before?

  ‘Anyway,’ she says, ‘either I forgot for once, or it’s blown open. I don’t know why I’m thinking of that whilst my best friend is ill. She rinses out a face cloth, folds it over and gives it me to hold to my head. You stay there. I’ll get the spare room ready for you to have a sleep. I’ll take the laptop into the lounge and work from there.’ She gets up and strides purposefully towards the spare room. I realise that my game is probably up, so I do the only thing I can think of under the circumstances, I grab my bag and run, closing the door silently behind me.

  I head towards the car, my legs feel so wobbly they threaten to give way on me, but I manage to get in and start it straight up. Once again I find myself blasting off in the car out of the communal driveway. I really must get a job at a racetrack for my next career, I’d be damn good at it. I drive until I am well away from her apartment and park myself in a local supermarket car park, and then I sit and shake.

  My phone rings and I nearly die with fright. It’s Bettina.

  ‘Hello.’

  ‘Have you been running? You sound out of breath.’

  ‘I’ve just legged it from Monique’s.’

  ‘Crikey, how did that go then?’

  ‘I got everything, but I think she sprang me. I left the spare room door open.’

  ‘What do you think she’ll do now?’

  ‘Goodness knows. We need our evidence together for tonight so we can go to the police before she does anything stupid. Anyway, I panicked. She might have genuinely been going in the spare room to get it ready for me staying, and now I’ve run off and given her a reason to be suspicious.’

  ‘You’d better ring her with some kind of excuse, just in case.’

  ‘Good idea.’

  ‘Well I was calling to let you know that I’m just about to go in and see Danny, so wish me luck.’

  ‘Good luck.’

  ‘I’ll give you another call when I get out.’

  ‘Actually…do you want to come over to ours when you’ve done? Niall will be there and then we can all decide where we go from here.’

  ‘Okay, I’ll see you this afternoon sometime. I’ll ring when I’m on my way.’

  I dial Monique’s number. ‘Hello,’ she sounds agitated.

  ‘Monique, it’s me.’

  ‘Where the hell are you? One minute you’re puking in my loo, the next you’ve disappeared.’

  �
��I wanted my own bed.’

  ‘Well, you could have said. I had no idea where you were. I looked around the apartment and the grounds thinking you might have collapsed somewhere.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Mon, I didn’t want to worry you. I just panicked and wanted to get back home.’

  ‘Is that where you are now?’

  ‘Yes,’ I lie. ‘In bed. Not that Niall is taking any notice of me being ill. He’s a pig.’

  ‘Well, I’ve told you that from the beginning. You should’ve stayed with me.’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘So are you staying at home all day now?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Well, look after yourself, and Lauren -’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘About the spare room.’

  I think my heart actually pauses. ‘Hmm?’

  ‘It was me. I left the window open. Sorry for seeming paranoid.’

  ‘I never gave it another thought.’

  ‘Well ring me when you’re feeling better. I’m sure we’ll see each other soon.’

  ‘We will. Thanks for everything, Mon.’

  I put the phone down. I’m deeply worried now, because the window in Monique’s spare room was definitely closed.

  I drive back home carefully, on alert to anything untoward and jumping if another car moves anywhere near me. I feel parched. The first thing I do when I get home is to run upstairs, swill water around my mouth and then brush my teeth. So I’m more than a little shocked when I eventually walk into the living room and find Niall on the settee with a pack of frozen vegetables on his fist. Seb clutches another bag against what I guess is the beginnings of a black eye.

  ‘Do you want to sit down, Lauren?’ Niall asks.

  Chapter 21

  I’m not sure my poor heart can take much more of this stress today. I swear it’ll be grey rinses from now on, not blonde highlights.

  ‘How come you’re not at work?’ I ask Seb.

  ‘Yes, Lauren, I’m fine, thank you,’ he states with snarled sarcasm.’

  ‘I can see you’re not fine. I can also make out that you’ve connected with my husband’s fists, being that I am not entirely stupid.’