Rocking Out

by A. A. Albright

  It wasn’t just my shoulders sagging now. It was my whole body. And it wasn’t because I was annoyed with Emily. If anything, she should be annoyed with me. Who did I think I was, slow dancing with her boyfriend? If she threw a pile of chocolate sauce in my face, I wouldn’t blame her. I wouldn’t even stop to lick it off.

  ‘That’s okay,’ I said, pulling away from Max. ‘Of course you two should enjoy the last dance together. I need to get home and get an early night anyway.’ I gave her a guilty smile. ‘Great to see you, Emily.’

  She smiled back, but it was a smile that was mostly chocolate-covered teeth. ‘Great to see you, too.’

  Somewhere in the distance, I heard Max protest. I thought I even heard him tell her she was being rude, overbearing, and controlling. But I didn’t stick around to hear the rest. I just clicked my fingers, and sent myself on home to bed.

  Because Max was wrong. Emily wasn’t being overbearing. She was behaving exactly as she ought to. She had a great boyfriend, one she was sensible enough to want to hang onto for dear life. If I had someone as great as Max, I’d do exactly the same. Actually, if I saw my awesome imaginary boyfriend slow-dancing with a girl he’d recently been convinced he was in love with? I would have been a lot worse than Emily.

  As I changed into my pyjamas and kissed Dizzy goodnight, I made a resolution to myself: from now on, I was going to give Max and Emily all the space they needed. No more longing for the old days. No more pining for breakfasts in bed, or Sundays on the sofa. And if I happened to miss him to heartbreaking proportions all over again? Well then, I guess I’d just have to suck it up.

  19. Werewolves Do It Better

  ‘So then,’ said Finn. ‘What do we all think of the plan?’

  I looked around the table. It was noon, and all of our team were gathered in our Eile Street office, discussing what would happen tonight. We’d been discussing it for two hours, and it felt like we were going around in circles.

  ‘I’m still on the fence about this,’ said Gretel. ‘I mean, does it have to be Melissa? I know she used to do this kind of thing with your coven, Wanda. But she’s a trainee lawyer now, not a Wayfarer. We could get in a lot of trouble for getting a civilian involved.’

  Finn and I shared a glance. He knew as well as I did – Melissa was coming tonight, no matter what we decided.

  ‘Tonight, she’s not a civilian,’ I said. ‘Finn’s going to deputise her. That should cover our behinds if anything goes wrong. But it won’t go wrong. I’m not worried in the slightest.’

  Sixteen, who was delivering a cheese toastie to Paul, looked at me and said, ‘That is a falsehood, Wanda Wayfair. Your pulse rate and levels of perspiration suggest that you are incredibly worried.’

  ‘Well, gee Sixteen – thanks for telling everyone I’ve got sweaty pits right now.’

  ‘I detect sarcasm, Wanda Wayfair,’ replied the robot, setting Paul’s food down and walking away.

  I looked at Paul. ‘Just as a matter of interest, why did you have to go and make him look like Max?’

  Paul bit into his food and shrugged. ‘I didn’t base Sixteen’s appearance on Max. Not intentionally, anyway. I tried to create a face everyone would like, and that’s what I wound up with. Don’t you like Max’s face?’

  ‘I like Max’s face fine,’ I replied. ‘It’s just hard to see something that looks so agreeable only to find out it’s an annoying know-it-all.’

  Gretel nodded and laughed. ‘He really is a bit much. When I tripped over my bin the other day he reminded me that I’d tripped over things one hundred times in the last month alone, and asked me if I’d like him to perform a medical check-up.’

  To be fair to Sixteen, Gretel was the clumsiest person on the planet – but I doubted that medical intervention was necessary.

  ‘Y’know, I am nervous,’ I admitted. ‘But I’m nervous before every undercover operation. Despite my nerves, I always know it’s going to be all right. Because while me, Finn and Melissa are doing our thing tonight, you guys will be back here, seeing and hearing everything we do. If anything goes wrong, you’ll be a finger-click away from coming to our rescue.’

  Gretel went to reach for a cup, but knocked over mine instead. ‘Sorry,’ she said, cleaning up the spilled tea with a napkin. ‘Look, you’re right – I’m going to be here tonight, keeping track of the three of you. It’s my job, and I’m going to do it. But I don’t like it, Wanda. I don’t like it one little bit. You guys got nowhere tracking down Alpha yesterday, and this morning this just lands on your laps?’ She sighed. ‘They’re not the dumb, talentless rockers they pretend to be. All I’m saying is … be wary.’

  ≈

  Gretel’s words rang in my mind for the rest of the day. I knew she was right. I knew from the moment we came up with our plan. Possibly because it wasn’t so much a plan as it was a reaction. Alpha were calling the shots, and all we were doing was playing along.

  The not-a-proper-plan came into being that morning, when an invitation landed on our doormat. It was addressed to Melissa. After gagging for a good five minutes, she had shown the invitation to me:

  ‘We hear you’re the witch all the werewolves want to woo. Come to our gig this evening, beautiful Red, and let us prove to you that werewolves do it better.’

  The gig was to take place in the function room of a small, run-down bar on Lupin Lane, a place called Moony’s. It was a werewolf bar, in a werewolf enclave, on full moon. And whilst usually a witch could handle themselves against a werewolf, Caitlyn’s and Alicia’s deaths had proven that Alpha were not your usual werewolves.

  A phone call from Finn revealed that Marion and Lisa received similar invitations. I, Finn and the rest of our team had decided it was one of two things. It was either a simple, straightforward act of evil on the part of Alpha – three invitations, three Call of the Wild members left to frame. Or else it was left-field evil, some kind of set-up on Alpha’s part, the kind we couldn’t predict – the kind we were fools to rush towards.

  But I guess we were fools, because by the time four o’clock rolled around, Finn, Melissa and I met up in my bedroom to get ready.

  Melissa had prepared things before we arrived. Sitting on my dressing table there were two cauldrons filled with green goop, and a magic mirror.

  ‘I am so glad I don’t have to drink that,’ Melissa said, poking at the goop with the ladle. ‘I can’t believe Marion and Lisa gave you their hair. Did you tell them why you needed it?’

  ‘I kind of had to,’ I replied. ‘We’ve only got the equipment for a particular kind of doppelganger spell – one I hoped I’d never have to do again. Which means Marion and Lisa have to be next to mirrors when we perform it. I didn’t tell them all the details, obviously. I just told them it was the only way of clearing Mack’s and Bryce’s names. And seeing as Marion thinks the sun shines out of Mack’s behind …’

  Melissa threw the ladle down and looked away. ‘Yeah, well. He has a lot of fans. I just hope that, after tonight, we’ll know whether he deserves them or not.’

  Poor Melissa. She still had it bad. I knew that, despite her feelings, if it turned out Mack really was guilty, she would be happy to help put him away for a very long time. And I admired her so much for having that strength. So many women refused to see what was staring them in the face. They took the word of the bad guys over the girls who had been hurt. But not Melissa. I hoped she found a decent lawyer to clerk under someday soon, because we needed someone like her in the Wyrd Court.

  Finn rubbed his head. ‘I’ve already accepted that we’re going to go through with this. But I don’t understand why I have to be Lisa and you get to be Marion.’

  I gave him my best no-nonsense look. ‘Because. My girl has particular mannerisms that I’m better at. Your girl just giggles and goes red in the face a lot. You know – just like you do. Anyway, I doubt you’d be happy about being Marion, either.’

  He let out a grunt. ‘You’re probably right.’

  I gave the goop one last stir,
and saw that the hair had dissolved. I shivered. The thought of drinking something that could dissolve hair in a matter of seconds wasn’t exactly giving me the warm and fuzzies. I looked at Finn. ‘You ready?’

  His face pulled into a horrified expression. ‘It’s ready? Already?’

  I nodded. ‘It is. The question is, are you?’

  ‘Fine. But Wanda, just so you know – I’m sorry for bringing up the Veronica Berry doppelganger spell yesterday.’

  I snorted. ‘Sure you are. But I’m still going to take the mick out of you for a very long time after this.’ I ladled some goop into a goblet and held it out to him. ‘Open up, Finny. Let the choo choo into the tunnel.’

  Finn glared at me, but opened his mouth and swallowed. I took a long, horrible glug of my own potion and did my best not to spit it out. We had to do the next part separately, because we only had one magic mirror. The look on Finn’s face told me I’d better do it first, so I quickly recited the incantation:

  ‘Twin with the place I write on thee

  So I shall glimpse, but she shan’t see

  Let my reflection mirror just that

  Which is in the mirror we now look at.’

  Next, I picked up the mirror and let the steam from my cauldron rise up around it. As the mirror fogged up, I wrote the coordinates for Marion’s bedroom on its face. A moment later, the steam cleared from the magic mirror, and Marion was staring back at me.

  ‘That’s it,’ said Melissa. ‘You look like her. You em … you might want to put on a different outfit.’

  I looked down at my body. I was now tall and skinny. The place where my boobs had been sort of sagged, and the same thing happened with my jeans – they were very nearly sliding down my thin hips, while my suddenly-longer legs were poking out at the bottom.

  I felt a little envious of Marion. When I’d doubled as Veronica Berry, I’d wound up in a voluptuous body – a little taller and thinner than my own, but still with curves. Now I was in an altogether different sort of body, one I kind of liked. For one thing, it might be nice to have guys talk to my face for a change. And no one would comment on the size of my bum for a few hours, either. Bonus.

  Sheesh! Did I just think that? My body was my body. Before Gabriel had turned my world upside down, revealing that he’d really been in love with a fellow vampire-witch hybrid the whole time, I’d been perfectly happy with my body. Well, sod Gabriel. Sod everyone who body-shamed anyone, ever. Once I had my own bum back, I was never going to complain about it again.

  I passed the mirror to Finn. ‘Your turn. I’m going to go change my clothes and check in with Gretel.’

  20. We’re Not in Moony’s Anymore

  ‘I have to say, pink really suits you,’ said Melissa, linking arms with Finn as we walked down Lupin Lane.

  ‘I agree,’ said Gretel, her voice loud and clear in all our ears. ‘It really brings out his eyes.’

  He grunted, which sounded funny in Lisa’s quiet little voice. ‘You two are just as bad as Wanda,’ he said. ‘I’m glad you are a law clerk and not a Wayfarer, Melissa. Putting up with all of you on a daily basis would be hell on earth.’

  ‘Aw, Lisa, don’t be like that!’ I linked through his other arm. ‘You’re not as pretty when you’re grumpy.’

  He rolled his eyes – or rather, he rolled Lisa’s bright blue eyes – and shook his head, his red curls bobbing. Melissa had given him one of her outfits – a pink off-the-shoulder number with a short skirt. Finn had opted to wear a cardigan over the top because, according to him, all men were perverts who couldn’t be trusted to keep their eyes off Lisa’s assets. Hmm, I wonder how he knew that.

  I really hoped we’d be finished with the case by midnight, because that was how long we had in these bodies – and I did not fancy seeing how that pink dress would react to Finn’s body reclaiming its form. With such impending embarrassments in mind, Melissa had brought some spare clothing for Finn and me should the need arise, and she used a shrinking spell so that it would all fit in her purse.

  As we neared Moony’s, I really wished we could turn back. I’d been there in the past, either tracking down ne’er do wells, or breaking up drunken rows, and I never wanted to return. There were plenty of werewolf bars I happily visited, but Moony’s … ugh! Every area has a place where the worst kinds of people hang out, and that was what Moony’s was for Lupin Lane – the go-to place for criminals and those who yearned to be criminals.

  Why Alpha had chosen this place was troubling me. My research showed that they played a lot of dive bars, but this was a drop even for them – especially now that they were number two in all the charts.

  When we reached the scratched and worn wooden door, Finn looked at me. ‘Remind you of anything?’

  ‘You could be right. This definitely looks like the door Murphy was going through in Christine’s vision,’ I said. ‘But then again, Moony’s is precisely the kind of place I’d expect Murphy to hang out, so it might not mean much.’

  ‘Maybe not,’ he said, standing back. ‘Well, go on – ladies first.’

  Melissa and I laughed. ‘We’re all ladies tonight, Lisa,’ she told him.

  He hesitated, stepping behind Melissa. ‘Okay, but you’re both bigger than me,’ he argued. ‘It wouldn’t make sense for the shy little girl to walk in first.’

  I couldn’t help but wonder if living as Lisa was affecting his personality. Finn was usually the first to push his way in where he wasn’t wanted, but right now he was shaking in his high-heeled shoes. I might tease him about it if I weren’t so terrified myself.

  Melissa was in her own confident body, and she had no problem being the first to enter. Just as she pushed at the door, though, a burly bouncer snapped it open and peered out. He had scars all over his face. His head was shaved (unusual for a werewolf) and he had bloodshot yellow eyes. ‘We’re having a private party here tonight, ladies,’ he said. ‘Invitation only.’

  ‘Well then,’ said Melissa with a cold smile. ‘It’s a good thing we have invitations.’

  He was so angry looking that I almost missed Goldie, the bouncer at the Water Bowl. He ran his eyes over the invitations Melissa handed his way, his scowl increasing by the second. ‘This nonsense again,’ he said. ‘I used to like Alpha, before they started pandering to all you spoiled little witches.’ He sighed. ‘But they’ve rented the function room for the night, so I suppose I’d better let you in.’

  He stood aside, giving us just barely enough room to pass. Inside, the bar was dark. There were only a few werewolves, mostly guys, clustered around one end of the bar. Even Melissa’s usual confidence was slipping, as the werewolves at the bar gave us the finger and grumbled about, ‘Stupid witches taking over everything these days.’

  Any other day, Finn and I would happily argue with them. But this evening, I was Marion. Tall, thin, barely enough strength to fight off a fly Marion. And seeing as Finn was struggling to remain upright in his women’s shoes, I doubted he’d fare too well in a brawl.

  So instead of argue, we hustled through the bar looking for the function room. In such a small place, it wasn’t difficult to find. There was a set of open double doors with a sign above saying, ‘All-New Function Room – Alpha Gig, 5 P.M.’

  Melissa was the one to push that door open, too, and we found ourselves walking into a room with a stage at the far side, with a floor big enough to hold about two hundred people. This evening though, there were only three chairs laid out.

  Our names were on the seats – Melissa in the centre, and Lisa and Marion on her either side. As we sat down and waited, I put a finger to my ear and said, ‘Ahem.’

  ‘I hear you loud and clear, Wanda,’ Gretel’s voice replied. ‘And I’ve still got visual, too, through all of your contact lenses. We’ll click in there the second anything iffy goes down.’

  ‘Good,’ said Finn, a little louder than he intended. To cover up, he added, ‘Good times, that’s what we’re going to have tonight, girls. Frenton is my favourite.’


  Melissa giggled. ‘Frenton is so freaking hot!’

  I thought back to the music video I’d seen of Alpha. Frenton was not hot. Frenton looked precisely as you would expect someone like Frenton to look. ‘Yeah, I hear he’s actually Alpha’s alpha,’ I said. ‘But I’m just here to see if he can give Mack McAdams a run for his money. I’ll need to smell his T-shirt before I can commit to joining the Alpha Babes.’ Hey, if I was going to go undercover in a doppelganger of Marion’s body, then I was going to act like Marion.

  ‘Well, I’m fully committed to saying goodbye to all memories of the Call of the Wild for good,’ said Melissa. ‘What kind of desperate freak would keep liking a band who think it’s okay to murder their fans?’

  I squeezed her hand, knowing that Melissa wasn’t playing a role tonight. She didn’t need to pretend – she meant every single word. But I knew that somewhere underneath all of that hatred she directed at Mack, she was still hoping he wasn’t a killer. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have come.

  I nodded to Finn, drawing Melissa’s attention that way so she could see what I was seeing. He was currently refreshing his lip gloss, looking at his reflection in a compact mirror.

  ‘That’s what I love about you, Lisa.’ I grinned. ‘You’re the girliest girl I know.’

  Before Finn could respond, the curtain rose. And there, on the stage in front of us, was Alpha.

  I looked at the five band members – Frenton, the singer, Roy on keyboards, Morris on bass guitar, Quint on lead guitar and Prescott on drums. Wow. This close up I could see that these were not bad boy rockers. I already knew Frenton came from money, but these were mammies’ boys, every single one of them. Rich mammies’ boys at that. Quint was wearing a watch that cost at least a hundred gold rounds.