The Guide to Great Sex
Page 5
Condoms are more likely to break during anal sex due to the nature of the rectum.
The anus is predominantly meant to carry and expel feces, which contains a host of harmful bacteria that becomes more easily transmitted during unprotected anal sex.
The above bullet points are all reasons why safe sex should be practiced by everyone who engages in anal play, not only by penis-to-anus practitioners. Here are some tips for safer anal play, courtesy of Wikipedia and WebMD:
No matter what object is being inserted, whether it‘s a penis, finger, dildo, vibrator, strap-on dildo, etc, always use a condom. Yes, I realize just as much as anyone that condoms aren’t as fun. But what’s worse – having a little less feeling due to a condom, or getting a life changing STI such as HIV? It’s your life. You have to live with the decisions you make.
If you or your partner have been diagnosed with an STI, avoid anal play until the ailment has been treated and cured.
Clean the area thoroughly and empty the bowels before engaging in anal play.
Clean any object that was used during anal play, ESPECIALLY before using it for any other sexual activity. For toys, they usually come with specific cleaning instructions. Cleaning products are also available for purchase. Follow those instructions and use those products.
When engaging in anilingus (licking the outer part of the anus) the use of a dental dam or plastic wrap is recommended.
See a doctor ASAP if you notice bleeding, sores, or discharge after anal play.
My Suggestions for Enjoying Anal Play
Use a fair amount of lubrication, and a condom, to make entry of the object smoother and less painful.
If you are the receiving partner, focus on relaxing your sphincter muscles as the object is inserted. Most of the pain is caused when people react by squeezing their butt muscles. This is the opposite of what you want to do.
Again, if you are the receiving partner, try pushing out a bit with your abdominal muscles as the object is being inserted. This should help your sphincter muscles relax. Also, try laying on your stomach or side rather than your back.
If you are the partner inserting the object, make sure you’re using enough lubrication. Go slowly and listen to your partner as the object is inserted. If they tell you to stop, then stop. If they tell you to take it out, take it out. If they say you can put it in further, then you may do so. Obey their wishes. It’s their body.
Closing Anal Sex
Anal is yet another infrequently traversed sexual territory that is thrilling to pursue for many people. It’s exciting to try something new, especially if it can be pleasurable as well (and in some cases, VERY pleasurable).
But, especially with anal play, it’s important to keep safety in mind. No amount of pleasure is worth the stress, anxiety, physical ailment, and cost of getting an STI or other infection. It’s also not worth the guilt of transmitting one, so get tested regularly and know the status of your body.
The precautionary measures I outlined are not meant to deter you from anal sex. They’re meant to keep you safe as you navigate it.
The topic of the next chapter is one of the most talked about aspects of sex.
If you google “sex positions,” it returns 2.9 million results. People obviously care about how they contort themselves in the sack.
But out of 2.9 million results, how do you pick the best of the best for your own sex life?
I believe I have stumbled on a few you will find worth considering.
Chapter 7
16 POWERFUL POSITIONS FOR THE HOTTEST SEX AND DEEPEST INTIMACY
When you search for sex positions on the internet, you will find that most sources list the same positions over and over again. While this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, they typically don’t tell you why they chose them.
For our purposes, I’m only going to include the best of the best that I’ve found. These are the positions that provide the most pleasure, the hottest sex, the deepest intimacy, and give you the best opportunities to multitask (which will be discussed in a later chapter).
I have broken them up into penetrative, non-penetrative, and oral sex positions. Penetrative includes any object, such as a penis, toy, or strap-on dildo, being used to enter your partner. Non-penetrative includes the rubbing together of genitals and mutual masturbation.
I’ll be describing the positions in terms of how both partners should be situated and what benefits each position offers.
Good sex requires different positions. Great sex requires POWERFUL positions.
Let’s break ‘em down.
Powerful Penetrative Positions
#1 Missionary With Legs in the Air
Description-
The penetrating partner is on top and the receiving partner is on bottom.
Instead of regular missionary with the receiving partner’s legs spread out on the bed, the receiving partner spreads their legs about two feet apart and lifts them up in the air towards the ceiling, keeping them in front of their partner. Their body becomes an L shape.
The receiving partner rests the back of their legs against the chest and shoulders of their partner, typically with their knees bending over their partner’s shoulders and their hamstrings on their partner’s chest.
The penetrating partner leans forward, with their head between their partner’s legs, and put their hands on the bed next to their partner’s head, with their arms straight. This should angle their partner’s pelvis upwards.
Finally, the penetrating partner enters.
Benefits-
Great angle for stimulating the G-Spot, anus, and/or prostate.
The pressure of the receiving partner’s legs provides some relief for the penetrating partner’s arms.
The receiving partner is somewhat constrained, which can be a turn on for many people.
Variation-
Instead of two legs towards the ceiling, the receiving partner only puts one of their legs up, providing a different angle of stimulation.
#2 Missionary While Grabbing the Butt
Description-
Regular missionary position with the penetrating partner on top and receiving partner on bottom, except the penetrating partner lies completely on top, resting their weight on their partner.
With their head to the side of their partner’s head, possibly resting on the pillow, the penetrating partner reaches down with both hands and grabs hold of their partner’s butt.
Benefits-
Allows the penetrating partner to pull their partner in towards them and thrust at the same time.
Creates more bodily contact, increasing intimacy.
Better angle than regular missionary for stimulating the G-Spot, anus, and/or prostate.
#3 Receiving Partner Lying Sideways and Penetrating Partner On Top
Description-
The receiving partner lies on their side with legs bent at a 90 degree angle.
The penetrating partner enters from the top, so the front of penetrating partner is facing the side of the receiving partner.
The penetrating partner kneels within the 90 degree angle of their partner’s legs, positioning their pelvis to enter their partner.
The penetrating partner leans forward and places their hands, arms, or elbows on both sides of their partner to hold themselves up.
Benefits-
Different angle of stimulation.
Can still kiss each other, heightening intimacy.
Variation-
The penetrating partner grabs their partner’s top leg and puts it over the corresponding arm.
This widens either the vagina or anus for easier entry, and creates a different dynamic of constraint.
#4 Legs in the Air on the Edge of the Bed
Description-
Similar to #1. The receiving partner lies on their back, puts their legs together and raises them up to the ceiling so their body is in an L shape. Except this time, they are on the edge of the bed with the penetrating partner standing up.
The penetrating partner wraps or holds on to their partner’s legs for thrusting leverage, and may have to bend their knees down a bit to enter their partner. However, this partner does not lean over yet, like in #1, but stays standing straight.
Benefits-
The penetrating partner gets great leverage by holding onto or wrapping around their partner’s legs.
Another optimal angle for stimulating the G-Spot, anus, and/or prostate.
Variation-
Can have legs spread open rather than together.
Can do the same as #1, with legs spread, hamstrings against the chest, and penetrating partner leaning over their partner while holding themselves up.
#5 Doggy Style With Receiving Partner Curling Towards Other Partner
Description-
Receiving partner goes on their hands and knees while the penetrating partner gets on their knees and enters from behind.
Instead of being on their hands, the receiving partner then rests one shoulder on the bed and angles their head to the opposite side, angling their back downwards towards the bed. The receiving partner should be able to look back and see their partner.
The receiving partner rests their arms on the bed towards their partner.
The penetrating partner holds on to their partner’s hips for thrusting leverage.
Benefits-
Better angle for deeper penetration.
Increased arousal by both partners being able to lock eyes with one another, and especially for the receiving partner who gets to see their partner entering them from behind.
Penetrating partner can get good leverage by holding onto their partner’s hips and waist.
Variation-
The receiving partner bends their knees further and lowers their pelvis down closer to the bed. They then reach back with their hands and wrap their arms around their legs, curling themselves further into a ball.
#6 Doggy Style With Penetrating Partner Squatting Over
Description-
The receiving partner is on their hands and knees in doggy style position.
Instead of being on their knees as well, the penetrating partner stands with their feet on either side of their partner, squatting down until they are at the right height to enter. The receiving partner may need to angle their pelvis upwards to help with entry.
If the penetrating partner is comfortable, they can thrust like this. Otherwise, if they need more balance they can place their hands on the back, shoulders, or hips of their partner while squatting.
Benefits-
Allows for deeper penetration.
This angle from behind is better for hitting the G-Spot, anus, and/or prostate.
The penetrating partner can use gravity to help them thrust.
Variation-
Similar to the previous position (#5 - Doggy Style With Receiving Partner Curling Towards Other Partner), the receiving partner can angle their back down towards the bed, reach their arms back towards their partner, and curl themselves into a ball. This allows for further comfort during deep penetration and a different angle of stimulation. It also increases intimacy by being able to see each other’s faces.
#7 From Behind With Receiving Partner Laying On Stomach
Description-
The receiving partner lies flat on their stomach with their legs out straight and close together.
The penetrating partner straddles their partner, with their knees on either side, leans forward, and uses their hands and arms to hold them up while entering their partner.
Benefits-
Makes the vagina/anus tighten for increased pleasure of both partners.
A comfortable position for both partners.
Allows for a lot of multitasking, including hair pulling, kissing and sucking the neck/back, and manual stimulation (hand) of the genitals of the receiving partner.
Variation-
The penetrating partner lies fully on the receiving partner, without holding themselves up, increasing bodily contact and intimacy.
The penetrating partner can also reach under and provide manual stimulation to their partner’s genitals.
Provides opportunity to kiss from behind.
#8 Lying Down Sideways Penetration From Behind
Description-
The receiving partner lies on their side with knees bent at around and 90 degree angle.
The penetrating partner lies on their side behind them, entering as they would in regular doggy style and using their partner’s hip(s) as leverage.
Benefits-
Hugely intimate position, as it resembles cuddling.
Provides a lot of opportunity for multitasking, including hair pulling, kissing from behind, manual simulation of the genitals, and constraint by pulling back and locking the receiving partner’s arms.
Variation-
The penetrating partner lifts up the top leg of the receiving partner, either holding it up or placing it on top of their own. This expands the vagina/anus allowing for more comfortable penetration.
#9 Receiving Partner On Top (with variations)
Description-
The penetrating partner lies on their back with the receiving partner straddling them.
The receiving partner sits on their partner as they enter them.
The receiving partner moves their body in a way that stimulates both partners.
Benefits-
The receiving partner gets to control rhythm and stimulation.
The receiving partner gains the more dominant role and can exercise more control.
The penetrating partner becomes the more submissive role.
The receiving partner is able to move in a way that best stimulates them, and can control depth of penetration.
Provides opportunity for either partner to manually stimulate the receiving partner’s genitals in addition to penetration.
Variations-
Instead of straddling their partner on their knees, the receiving partner squats over, bending their knees far enough to have their partner enter them. They can place their hands on their partner’s shoulders, chest, stomach, or the pillow/bed for added stability and control.
The receiving partner sits with full penetration and rolls their hips back and forth as they straddle their partner.
The receiving partner moves up and down, similar to the thrusting action of the penetrating partner.
The receiving partner lies forward with their weight on the penetrating partner, and rolls their body back and forth or moves up and down. The penetrating partner (on bottom) can also place their hands on their partner’s hips or butt to control the rhythm.
The receiving partner arches backward, instead of forward, and reaches backward placing their hands on either their partner’s legs or the bed for balance. The receiving partner then moves in a way that is great for stimulating the G-Spot, anus, and/or prostate.
The receiving partner faces the opposite direction while straddling their partner, with their butt facing their partner. The receiving partner can put their hands on either the bed or their partner’s legs for added balance and control.
The receiving partner faces the opposite direction, like before, but on their hands and feet facing the ceiling (so their back is towards their partner and they are in a “spider crawl” position). They then lower their hips down enough for their partner to enter. The penetrating partner relieves some of their partner’s muscular strain by supporting their hips or lower back with their hands. The penetrating partner then uses that leverage to thrust.
Powerful Non-Penetrative Positions (Wikipedia)
#1 Rubbing Together of the Genitals
Description/Variations-
One partner positions themselves in between their partner’s thighs and rubs their genitals or a similar object (such as a strap-on dildo) on their partner’s genitals.
In the case of two people with vaginas, both people face each other positioning their legs to make contact with each other’s vulva in orde
r to rub them together. Sometimes called scissoring.