A Side Order of Deception

by Constance Barker

  “Ruby Dean,” I mused. “That has a nice ring to it. At least his last name isn’t Slippers.”

  “Don’t laugh!” she said. “My dad wanted my middle name to be Tuesday.”

  “What’s wrong with that? You could probably get backstage passes to the Rolling Stones and free hamburgers for life! So, what is that Drench guy like? Did Justin tell you about him? Is he a conceited jerk?”

  “He might be. Justin said he’s kind of standoff-ish and seems a little smug. I told him to steal a souvenir from his locker for me.”

  “What! I didn’t think you were the kind of girl who was into larceny.”

  “Nooo! I just mean something like a book of matches, or maybe he has some fan cards – you know, like baseball cards with their picture and stats and bio that they sign for their fans.”

  “That would be kind of cool, I guess.”

  “Yeah. And Justin said that Brody has a really good reputation for being a great guy, humble and nice.”

  Of course he does. “That’s good. We should get our rodeo cowboys together sometime.”

  “Good idea – especially since I already promised Justin that we would go on double date before he left town.” She gave me a bright toothy smile.

  We didn’t talk much during the second half of our run, and Ruby left me in the dust for the last half-mile. She likes to sprint for the home stretch, and I like to walk. Or, maybe I have to walk. I knew my legs would turn to cement and hurt for a week if I ran any further. It might be a good day to get a foot rub from Maggie, I thought.

  Breakfast at the diner was busy, as people prepared for another week of work. Babs was in an even brighter and bouncier mood than usual, after her little interlude with Jake yesterday. It would be interesting to see what he would be like today when he stopped in later this morning. He usually did some home-repair and small handyman jobs first thing in the morning.

  I saw Maggie walking to the front door of her shop at about 9:30, and stuck my head out the door.

  “Good morning!” I hollered across the street.

  She waved me over, and I nodded. “Coffee?”

  “Please!” she shouted back.

  I got a tall go-cup for each of us and headed across. She ran into Brandi’s to get some fresh donuts.

  “Hey, neighbor, what brings you over today? Finally ready to find out your fortune?”

  “No, not me. I thought I might take you up on that foot rub offer. My legs are pretty tight after my morning jog with my younger neighbor and her dog.”

  She laughed. “Yeah, I wouldn’t make it a block these days, and I’d probably need an ambulance after that! And, I know you’re kind of a skeptic on the psychic thing. Follow me.”

  We went into her sitting area behind her fortune telling room in the window. It was set up like a sitting room or old-fashioned parlor with a maroon velvet chaise lounge, a Queen Anne armchair and dark oak bookshelves.

  “This is lovely,” I said. “I feel like I’m in Queen Victoria’s ante-room or something.

  “Get down to your undies,” she instructed as she quickly unfolded a portable massage table. “Your thighs probably need a good once-over too if you’ve been running.”

  “Maybe you really are a mind-reader!”

  I kept my shirt on, but slipped out of my jeans and shoes and laid on the table, face down.

  “I’ll be right back,” she said, going into the next room. “I’m going to warm up a little oil. Any special flavor?”

  “Plain. I don’t want to smell like I just walked through all the spray ladies at Macy’s”

  “Baby oil it is! Give me two minutes.”

  I crossed my forearms under my neck and raised my head. There was a bookshelf right in front of me. To my right, a lineup of light blue leather book covers caught my eye. I knew right away that they were Paint Creek High School yearbooks. They were organized by year. I reached over as far as I could and pulled one out that was sticking out a little bit. It was 1962.

  I started paging through it. Hey...Henry Davis. That’s Red’s name. He looked really young with a full head of red hair. I paged further and found a picture of him in the 4H Club section. He was standing next to a horse, smiling. I read the caption:

  Henry “Twinkle Toes” Davis and his retired champion thoroughbred, Louise.

  Busted! That’s how she knows so much about my customers. I pulled out Junior’s yearbook from seven years ago. Under his class picture it said, Most likely to be abducted by aliens from Nibiru – again.

  “Okay, Mercy, I hope you like it hot!”

  “As long as you don’t melt my skin, Maggie,” I said, sliding the book back on the shelf and putting my face into the padded hole in the table.

  She squeezed some hot oil down the middle of one leg, from my hip to my heel and started to rub.

  “It feels divine, Maggie. I really appreciate this.”

  “It’s my pleasure,” she said. “I’ll do this for you, and you won’t tell anybody I’m a fraud. How does that sound?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I saw you looking at those yearbooks.”

  “Yeah, well, just don’t hurt anybody or take a lot of their money.”

  “Of course not, Mercy. And, you know, I’m not a total fraud. I really did sense those things about the bone you gave me. I do have a real gift. I got it from my grandmother. But I just needed to start with a little splash to get people interested. The word of mouth from your friends has helped me get my business off the ground.”

  “Well...like you said, I’m a skeptic. Tell me something that wasn’t in my yearbook or the newspaper.”

  She wiped some of the excess oil off her hands on my dry leg and took my hand. After a moment, she spoke”

  “Your mind is totally in the moment right now, so it’s hard to see your past...”

  Not too interesting...

  “...but you should bring a Band-Aid with you when you go to see the Sheriff this morning.”

  Somebody must have told her I was going there...although I didn’t mention it to anyone, except Deloris, just before I came over here. Maybe she reads lips. No, she was in Brandi’s when I got the coffee from Deloris...

  She reached into a cabinet and pulled something out. She held up a Band-Aid for me to see and put it in my purse.

  “Well, it’s interesting that you know I’m going there, but it’s not much of a fortune, Maggie!”

  She chuckled. “No, but what do you expect for nothing? How does your leg feel now?”

  “Heavenly,” I said closing my eyes. “Don’t stop.”

  She kneaded my right calf firmly and then pressed her thumb in deeply.

  “Whoooa! Oooh...ahhh...okay”

  She patted it and rubbed it gently. “Just getting out your knots, Mercy. I’m hitting a few pressure points as in a tough Shiatsu massage, but I’m mostly giving you a soothing Swedish rub down.”

  “Well, whatever you’re doing, it’s working, Maggie.”

  She did the other leg and finished in time to unlock her front door at 10:00 a.m. There was already a short line waiting for her.

  “Lunch and dinner is on me, Maggie. Stop over, or call and I’ll have Babs run it over. Thank you so much...you’re a lifesaver!”

  Tramp was sitting on the sidewalk not far from the front door when I went across the street. His eyes were bright, and he stood up and wagged his tail eagerly as I approached.

  “Hi, boy! I haven’t seen you for a while.” I stooped down and rubbed his chin and neck. “Are you hungry?”

  He barked softly once, bouncing and dancing as he sniffed to see if I had food.

  I petted his head. “You still stink, pal...but go around to the back door, and I’ll bring you something to eat, okay?”

  I thought I would have to walk around to the back with him, but he seemed to understand. He nodded, barked, and sped off, around the corner to the back.

  That poor little doggie needs a good home. I walked in and headed right for the kitchen.
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  “Smoke! I need a fabulous meal for a dog, stat!”

  “Yes, maam!” he said, standing at attention and saluting.

  I guess I fell back on my medical training and lingo, and he went into military mode.

  “Give him a couple thick slices of ham and that bacon you’ve got cooking.”

  “It must be a mighty special pooch to get a meal like that, Mercy.”

  “It is. It’s Tramp.” I filled a bowl with water and reached into the food waste bin to grab a couple of sausage pieces. When I opened the door, he was waiting for me, very eagerly. I set down the water bowl and squatted down to offer him the small pieces of meat I had grabbed,

  “Here you go, my good boy. I don’t reach into slimy garbage for just anybody, you know, Tramp...no, I don’t.”

  He scarfed down the sausage bits and licked my hand clean when Smoke brought out a nice pile of ham chunks and warm bacon on a piece of cardboard.

  “He is kind of a cute little mutt, I guess, Mercy.”

  “He sure is, aren’t you Tramp? Yes, you are.” I looked at my watch, and I had just an hour before I had to meet Brody. “Oh – and, Smoke, can you do the meat order for me, please? See what we need and call Josie at the butcher shop before noon, if you don’t mind. I have to run to Calhoun, and I want to take this little doggie home and give him a quick bath first.”

  “I better double the meat order, if you’re going to keep on feeding this mongrel like a king, Mercy.”

  “You’re right, Smoke. I’ll pick up some dog food for him.”

  I took a couple of large garbage bags to line the seat of my car, and drove Tramp to my place. He was very civilized, and didn’t seem like a street dog. It crossed my mind for a second to ask Maggie to see if she could hold his paw and look into his past, but I decided not to. Maybe I just didn’t want to know if he already had a home, because I felt like I needed him in mine. If he were from Paint Creek, his owner would already have put a sign up in the window of the diner. He must have gotten loose from a tourist that stopped at the park, perhaps. In any case, Tramp owned my heart, and he was my dog now.

  “Do you want to be my dog, Tramp?” I asked him as I pulled into the driveway.

  He barked three times.

  “That sounds like an enthusiastic Yes, mister. I’ll put an ad in the paper to see if we can find your owner, but in the meantime, you’re mine!” I really hoped nobody would claim him.

  I got the big washtub out of the garage and turned on the hose. “Hop in, Tramp. I’m going to get some shampoo.”

  The dirt just rolled off him when I hosed him down. He loved it when I rubbed the shampoo all over his wiry fur and dug my fingertips in to get down to his skin.

  “A little bit of tough-love Shiatsu, for you, buddy, and then a nice tender-loving Swedish rub-down.” I rubbed his belly fur clean and let him lick my face. It’s like he waited until he was clean before he went in for the kiss. “I love you too, Tramp.”

  I toweled him dry and ran inside to change clothes and spray on a little perfume, in case I still had some pre-bath dog-odor on me.

  “Do you want to go back to the diner now? Huh?”

  Tramp put his head down, and then he walked in a circle in front of the side door of my house and lay down on the mat.

  “It looks like you’re staying right here! I have to go, but I’ll be back to see you later, boy!” I kissed two fingers and patted him on the muzzle. “Bye-bye!”

  He let out a whimper as I stood up, and I couldn’t resist. I gave my dog a big hug. “You smell so good now, boy. A little girly from my herbal shampoo...but it’s a big improvement!”

  Chapter Seven

  I was a few minutes late when I drove up to the Sheriff’s office at the county courthouse, but Brody would understand when I told him that it was because of a dog. He loves animals as much as I do.

  “Hi, I’m here to see Brody,” I said to the girl at the desk.

  “Of course, Miss Howard.”

  Hey...I’m famous here. Must be that eight-by-ten picture I made Brody put on his desk.

  “He said to send you over to the Register of Deeds office when you got here. It’s...”

  “Oh, I know where it is. Thank you!”

  I had walked right by the yellow tape when I came in, and I headed back to the lobby. It’s a popular office with walk-ins registering their new mortgages, so it’s right by the main entrance. I rapped on the door next to the walk-up window. The office was closed, of course, due to the fire.

  “Hey, Mercy!” Brody stuck his head out the window and then opened the door for me. I raised the Caution tape, ducked under it, and went in.

  “It smells like...”

  “Like there was a fire in here?” he said with a smile. “Careful, The Fire Marshall said we could snoop around a little, but we can’t disturb anything.”

  I didn’t see any sign of fire in the customer service area in front. “Did he say if it was arson?”

  “Yeah – it was. Somebody went right for the archive room and used gasoline and wooden matches to start the fire. They’ve been planning to get a vault for the archive, but it never made it into the budget yet. Come over here.”

  I followed him through a doorway, by the door that said Registrar’s Office.

  “What’s in here? The Archive Room is across the hall.”

  He put his arms around my waist and pulled me close. “I’m in here – with you. I need to steal a kiss so I can keep my mind on business.”

  Yeah, I guess I’ll let him kiss me. I wouldn’t want the poor man to be distracted all day.

  We kissed for a minute, and then he looked at me and smiled. “You look beautiful – and your eyes have an extra sparkle in them today, Mercy. Does it have anything to do with the fact that you smell like you’ve been wrestling a dog in a flower garden?”

  I smiled and gave him a swat. “Maybe, Sheriff.”

  “Is it that mangy street mutt you were telling me about?”

  “He’s not a street mutt. He’s a sophisticated and charming well-trained dog that can’t find his home. And he’s not mangy – at least not anymore. I gave him a nice bath and shampoo before I came over; that’s why I was a little late.”

  “And why you have that pungent aroma.”

  “Careful, mister. He needed some loving and wanted a kiss before I left. I changed my clothes, but I didn’t have time to shower again.”

  Brody gave me a tight hug and kissed my neck. It tickled, and I wriggled away.

  “I love a woman who isn’t afraid to hug a dog and get her face licked – even if she pushes a tall, handsome lawman away. I can’t wait to meet him.”

  “Well...he’s at my house now, waiting for me to come home. You’re welcome to stop by later tonight and say hello to Tramp.”

  “You know how to make a man an offer he can’t refuse. Am I welcome even if I don’t bring ice cream?”

  I had to think about that. “No. But maybe this time you can bring a box of doggie treats instead. And stop by on Saturday and build him a doghouse. And help me put out an all-points bulletin to try to find his home – but shoot anybody who tries to claim him.”

  He looked at me. “Anything else?”

  “Not for now.”

  He could see that I was feeling a little insecure about my new best friend, and he hugged me again.

  “I know you care a lot for that little guy, Mercy. Everything will work out. He’s been on the street here for quite a while without anyone looking for him, so I’m sure it will be okay. And if he does have a home to return to, we’ll find another pair of big brown eyes that you can get lost in.”

  I put my head on his shoulder and held back a tear. “Show me the archive room, Brody.”

  We walked across the hall and looked into the room.

  “We can’t go in yet, Mercy. The CSI team wants to check for fingerprints and footprints, now that we know it’s arson.”

  “After the fire guys already spent a day in there contaminating the
scene?”

  “I know...but, yeah.”

  I looked around the room filled with maybe three dozen tall metal file cabinets. Every drawer was open, and there were only black ashes inside them all. Some of the cabinets were partially melted, and there was soot and debris throughout the room.

  “It looks like they did a thorough job of it. Every drawer is open and burned.”

  “The soot and ashes weren’t there until after the arsonist left, of course, so the footprints you can see are all from the fire investigators.”

  “No sprinkler system, huh? It looks like they didn’t walk around too much. But you should tell your CSI guys to get a fan to blow all the ashes away when they’re done. The ash might stick to a footprint that was there before the fire. If he – or she – came from outside, his shoes might have been wet or dirty enough for some ash to stick to the prints.”

  “Not bad, Watson. I will have them do that.”

  Sherlock – I’m Sherlock.

  We walked out to the clerk’s area behind the customer window.

  “Is this area cordoned off too, or can I steal one of those buttermints in the jar on the counter?”

  “I think that would be okay, Mercy.”

  There were only a few left, so I had to chase them around the bottom of the jar on the counter with my fingers. I slid three up the side of the jar and put two of them in my purse for later. As I pulled my hand out, I noticed a smudge on the jar.

  “It’s probably nothing, Brody, but there’s a big thumbprint on the candy jar. Somebody probably picked it up to dump some mints into their hand. But, the counter is open to the public, so it could be from anybody, or one of the firemen.”

  “Good catch, Mercy. I’ll have it bagged and sent to the lab.”

  “And there’s a tiny bit of mud on the floor here.”

  Brody leaned in and looked. “It’s right about where somebody would stand to reach over and grab the candy dish.” Then he squatted down for a closer look. “No crime team has been through this area yet. The mud looks like it’s from the pointed toe of a woman’s shoe.”

  That sounded a little odd to me. A woman in dress shoes wouldn’t go into an office without cleaning mud off her shoe. I stooped down for a closer look too.