The Starkest Truth (A Breaking Insanity Novel Book 2)

by Courtney Lane

  “You missed a really amazing speech,” Eric’s deep and husky voice echoed in the bathroom. “There were tears…laughter. While disguised as feeding the ego of my best friend, I gave so many praises to my wife, I think a few women came in their La Perla panties.” The first stall door creaked open. “Okay, maybe more than a few.” The taps of his shoes clicked against the marble floor, closing in on my stall. “It’s too bad she’ll never get to hear it. She has a really bad habit of running away from me lately.”

  I slowly drew my legs up, hoping he wouldn’t see me. Noticing the strap-on laying on the floor, I attempted to pick it up without being noticed.

  The abrupt knock on my stall door scared me. “Unlock the door, or I’ll kick it in, Nik.”

  Standing, to prevent the door from knocking into my knees when it opened, I did as directed.

  The disappointment swathing his face was pushed aside when he saw my tears. “She was a nobody.” He quickly took my hands in his and forced my back against the stall door until it closed. “You should’ve decked her. Would’ve been hot to watch you inflict massive amounts of pain onto that bitch’s body.”

  “It wasn’t really her.” I scratched the back of my hands, having trouble maintaining his eye contact. “I can’t say it was her, or she’ll wind up committing suicide under strange circumstances.”

  “Nikki,” he growled, pulling my hands away from each other to halt the assault.

  “I know. I normally would’ve said something. Between her and the woman I shared a cab with last night—so many women know things about you that I don’t. It’s not that I want to know everything. Despite being nosy about things, I’d rather not know. It’s just—it bothers me when…”

  “Other women talk about me?”

  “Maybe it’s because I lie every time you ask me if I trust you. Deep down, maybe I don’t. In retrospect, I really shouldn’t.”

  He slipped his arms around my waist to hold me closer. “Have I ever done anything to directly hurt you, Nik?”

  “That is such a loaded question, Eric.” Sighing, I tucked the heavier side of my hair behind my ear. “Sometimes, I think I’m one of those sad woman who falls in love with a serial killer after he’s been imprisoned. That I think like they do: ‘He has this good side no one else sees.’ I’m willful in my ignorance toward you, because of the things you say and what you do to my body.” I began to laugh uncontrollably.

  “Nik,” he warned, his brows furrowing. “What the fuck is up with you?”

  “Why can’t it be funny? It should be funny.” My laughter turned into a quiet cry. “It’s starting up again, isn’t it? The mess I could barely handle before. The ominous, scary-looking man? Is he the start of a string of bad things you can’t get away from? The bad things that surround you, but sting me the hardest?” The seeping pressure on my chest I hadn’t felt in a while began to creep up.

  He pulled my head out of its descent by kissing me.

  I slipped forward, resting my forehead against his chest. Running a palm down the back of my head, he gently shushed me. “Do you remember what I said to you in our vows?”

  “No one can—” I sucked in a breath, continuously working internally to bring myself down from my slow crawl into an abysmal state. “—hurt us as long as we believe in each other.”

  He gripped my chin, tilting my head up to ensure I met his pensive stare. “You know I believe in you, and what I think of you. Nothing anyone else could say or do should change that. I won’t let them.”

  “What about…other things? Am I—am I holding you back from your charade to appear normal by being around other people?”

  “If anything, you’re saving me from doing things I really don’t want to do. The shit I don’t have to do with you. You know me like no one else does and they never will. These things—the people—they are useless, moderately entertaining stand-ins. I only came here because you were going stir-crazy…and I owed you a honeymoon.” He slowly smiled, but I couldn’t mirror his expression.

  I recollected the silent interaction exchanged with his best friend shortly after he was visited by an ominous man. Plus, I couldn’t believe him completely—Casper no longer seemed like a useless stand-in. “Casper customized one of the most important events in his life for me. I’m only assuming because they dropped a huge amount of money on the wedding. Gold-plated tableware? Silk napkins?”

  He shrugged. “No one forced his hand.”

  “You sort of did by saying you couldn’t come unless the list was diminished. How many other things are you holding back from doing because of me?” Our issues were two-fold. He kept people away from me, and in return, I kept him away from the social life he needed to maintain in order to exert control over the people involved in it.

  I had to do the unthinkable and question Eric about the man who approached us at the table earlier. If the drama I’d been forced to endure since he came into my life was on the verge of beginning again, I needed to be forewarned of the things to come.

  But, I had to place physical distance between us before I asked about it. “I feel dirty. I need to wash my hands.”

  The look in his eyes told me it was the worst thing I could’ve said. Clutching the back of my head, he pulled my hair until my neck craned. “You aren’t dirty enough, Nik,” he whispered, kissing the sensitive skin on my neck, and eliciting a fever.

  When he used his tongue, I shuddered. “No. No. NO!” I shoved my fist underneath his chin and lifted him away from kissing my neck as I struggled to keep my head level with my body. “Who is Victor? What was with the cloak and dagger guy? Why did you tell me you were going to work when you’re having meetings with…Victor? Who is he? What were the meetings about?”

  His eyes searched mine in silence.

  “Eric, say something,” I implored, my voice trembling in anticipation for what I knew would very well happen.

  “No,” he responded firmly. “It won’t lead anywhere.”

  “We have to talk—”

  He pressed forward and kissed me. I immediately tried to push him away. Grasping my wrist and forcing them to settle behind my back, he kissed me deeper, attempting to disarm my fight and make me forget my need for answers.

  The more I struggled the stronger his kisses and his hold became.

  He grabbed the back of my thighs and pushed me up, ignoring my diminishing fight. I pressed my lips together, unreceptive to his kiss. He grabbed my bottom lip between his teeth, forcing me to relent to his ferocious kisses. It was impossible to be indomitable against him. Every day he reminded me of how much he became my utter weakness.

  Relenting, I wrapped my arms around the back of his neck and allowed my fight to completely disappear as he fervently kissed me and fucked me against the stall door.

  ERIC HAD A WAY of penetrating me in two ways; his words were a mental erection plunging deep inside the dark abyss contained within my mind. His body was a perfect and primed resource that could make me feel pleasure and pain when and however he wanted it. When he was inside me, my thoughts and desires were his. There was no end or divide between us—we were a singular entity.

  Every time I attempted to reject him, within minutes, he overcame my defenses and drained my ability to turn him down. He easily manipulated me—everyone around him—because of the way he single-mindedly and callously obtained everything he wanted. Nothing could stand in his way…even if it meant he had to kill to get it.

  He had a way of pulling everyone into his darkness and making you think you enjoyed it there—preferred it there.

  He was, without a doubt, the most lethal man I’d ever met.

  “WHAT ARE YOU playing, fuckhead?” My brother, Thaddeus, hit me upside my head, hard.

  I dropped the controller to my Super Nintendo and ended my winning streak in Street Fighter II.

  “Nothing,” I said, staring at the TV.

  He sat sideways on the couch, draping his legs over the end. Spinning the cordless phone by the antenna, he kept s
taring at me. “I have a girl coming over, and I don’t want you messing it up for me. I’ve been trying to fuck this bitch all year. I don’t want to screw it up with you being around, being creepy. Go upstairs or I’ll give you another black-eye to match your right eye. You’re going to—”

  The doorbell rang, stopping him. He stood up, fixing his clothes and hair.

  The clacking of high heels on the hardwood floor hurt my ears as two girls rounded the corner and came into the living room. The older girl, wearing shorts and a belly-shirt, looked a little younger than Thaddeus. The girl with her, wearing a suspender skirt with one side down and a crooked ponytail, looked to be about my age. The younger one’s eyes glazed over as she stared at me.

  “So…” The older girl walked over to me. “This is your cousin.” She bent down to see me. While she did, her boobs spilled out of her shirt. “He’s adorable.” She ruffled my hair like I was a dog.

  I got up and tried to leave. Moving fast, she stood in my way and kept moving in front of me every time I tried to get away from her.

  “Can you please move, ma’am?” I asked, my voice cracking, thanks to puberty.

  “Ma’am?” She giggled. “Did you just call me ma’am? Aren’t you cute.” She pinched both of my cheeks with her too-long talons. “I’m Natalie, and that’s my sister, Tamala.” She nodded to the girl whose cheeks turned bright red when I looked at her. “Don’t you want to spend some time with me?”

  “I have homework to do,” I answered.

  Natalie touched my chin and made me jolt backward.

  Thaddeus pounded his chest, trying to get Natalie’s attention. “Hey, I thought you were here to see me?”

  “She’s only here because—” Natalie covered Tamala’s mouth, stopping her from speaking, while she shot her a look to make her shut up. Her sister looked down at the ground.

  Natalie pushed me until I sat down on the couch. “Your father got some blow? I heard his warehouses are full of it.”

  “I can get into the stash he keeps for his parties,” Thaddeus said.

  “I didn’t ask you,” Natalie snapped. “I asked your brother.”

  “I don’t want to get in trouble.“ I stood only for her to push me down again.

  “Thad, your cousin is being a mood killer.” Natalie pointed at me and clucked her tongue. “Maybe you should make him feel welcome.”

  Puffing out his cheeks and balling his fists, he punched his palm. “Fuck that kid.”

  “You know what would be hot?” Natalie asked. “If you two kissed and made up. I think it might put me in a better mood.”

  Nodding, Thaddeus smiled. “A better mood to do what?”

  “I don’t know…” Natalie winked at me. “A blow job maybe.”

  “I’ll go get the llelo,” Thaddeus said quickly.

  Natalie sat next to me, almost on top of me, and wouldn’t top staring at me. “You must’ve really pissed someone off, cutie.”

  “What are you talking about?” I asked, my voice cracking again.

  “Oh, nothing.” She kicked her leg back and forth and shot an angry look at her sister, who stood in the middle of the living room.

  When Thaddeus came back with the drugs and Natalie snorted a line of white powder up her nose, I tried to escape to my room.

  “Don’t leave. I’ll keep you company,” Tamala grabbed my arm to stop me.

  When I looked at her hand, she pulled it away and apologized. “What happened to your eye?”

  “Nothing.” I shrugged. “I’m sorry. I just want to be alone.”

  I couldn’t get comfortable in my bed. More people showed up downstairs and the noise made it hard to sleep.

  I looked at my clock. It was 4:14 in the morning.

  My door swung open hard and fast; it banged against the wall.

  I jerked up in bed to see who it was. Thaddeus and Natalie were in the doorway.

  Sighing, I rubbed my eyes. “Just leave me alone, all right?”

  Thaddeus marched up to my bed, and without warning, punched me in the mouth. My entire face throbbed in pain. I clutched it without saying a word to him.

  I was so scared, I didn’t fight when he flipped me over and pinned my arms to the bed. I could hear the Natalie laugh, feel her hands around my wrists as she helped him hold me down. My boxers were shoved down.

  Through my tears and muffled shouts, the bright red light of my clock was the only thing I could see. It read: 4:17 A.M.

  “ETHAN?” LUPITA, THE HOUSEKEEPER, shook my bed while she stood over me, her eyes wide. In one hand she had a basket of laundry, in the other hand a pair of my boxer shorts from last night.

  I carefully sat up in bed and rubbed my face. “What the fuck do you want, Lupita? I was sleeping.”

  “What is this?” She waved my boxers around like a flag. “Almost every day. Almost every day the same thing.”

  I forgot to burn them. I forgot to do a lot of shit last night because of Thaddeus.

  “No más,” she declared as she clutched the cross around her neck. “I’ll tell your parents.”

  I jumped up and winced, holding my hands out to stop her. She gave me the once over and shook her head.

  I told her everything she needed to know without saying a word. She shook her head again, this time in pity, and disappeared down the hall.

  Wincing as I walked, I followed her down the west wing toward my father’s office.

  Frowning, like he always did, he was in the middle of a phone call, speaking in rapid fire Spanish.

  “Mr. Me—Brae,” Lupita called him. She was so pissed, she almost called him by the name he was born with, even though she was told if she ever did, she’d lose her job.

  I should’ve been worried; she was going to tell Eamon something I didn’t want him to know. I was too numb to feel anything. I’d been here before. I’d told Eamon. I’d told his wife once, too. Tamala tried to drag me to the police station once to report Thaddeus. None of it made a difference. No one did anything to stop it.

  After the trip to the police station with Tamala, Eamon hit the ceiling when he found out. He beat me so bad, I woke up two days later in my bed—my face didn’t look like me anymore. I learned pretty fast that my family didn’t give a shit about me because almost every night, I’m screaming into my pillow.

  I don’t feel anything anymore.

  “This better be fucking important,” my father barked at Lupita.

  “I’ve worked for this family for a while now,” Lupita said to him. “I’ve been silent about the goings on, but I won’t be silent anymore. Thaddeus needs help…or prison. He needs something to make him leave this poor child alone.”

  My father’s frown deepened when he glanced at me. “He’s hardly a child. He’s capable of making his own decisions. If there is anyone at fault, it’s him—my cousin’s son—for not being fucking man enough. For being a sugar pants fairy who likes to suck cock.” He looked me dead in the eye. “I’m just glad he isn’t my son.”

  “Cousin’s son,” she muttered, not buying the lie that everyone else did.

  “What was that?” my father asked, turning red with anger.

  “Nothing, sir.” She kept staring at me, wanting something from me.

  She wouldn’t get it—whatever she wanted. Today would be Lupita’s last day, and I knew what would happen when she left. I wished I had stopped her from doing what she thought of as helping me. Asking for help meant a broken nose, a knocked out tooth—anything that meant I was bleeding and apologizing. Eamon didn’t give a shit about me. As long as I kept my head down and was quiet, that’s all he cared about.

  “Fuck it.” I shrugged. “I’m going out.”

  “Ethan, wait,” Lupita dropped her laundry basket and grabbed my arm. “We’ll report it together, if he’ll do nothing about it, then you can come live with me. You don’t have to be here.”

  “Lupita,” my father shouted loud enough to make me jump, “I don’t have to tell you that your need to stick your nose in bu
siness that doesn’t concern you has garnered a termination of your employment.”

  “Ethan, come with me,” she pleaded. “Come with me. I can get you help. I can get you out of here.”

  “He’s not going with you to slum it in the projects.” My father reached inside his desk and pulled out his checkbook. He angrily scribbled on the pad, ripped off a check and threw it into the air. “Your severance pay. If I see you here, or near my cousin’s son again, you’ll wish you’d never met me.”

  I pulled back my arm and shook my head at her. “Told you. No one can fucking save me.” I stormed down the hall, but stopped walking when my father called my name from behind me.

  “You better turn around, Ethan. If you think you’re going off to do a job for Vic, like you’ve been doing, you sure as hell won’t. I’m not bailing you out of jail every time your stupid ass makes a mistake on a job you never should’ve been given in the first place.”

  Keeping my eyes to the ground, I turned around to face him.

  “You think you can be me?” Marching forward, he balled up his fists. “You’re not fit to spit-shine my shoes.”

  I looked past him, watching Lupita as she disappeared down the hall.

  Fuck it, and fuck him. “You’re always acting like you’re so fucking bad. Charlie and Vic are your bosses and they have more power than you. If they say I’m good—better than you—the fuck do you look like?”

  Raising his hand, he backhanded me. I met the wall, face first. “What the fuck did I tell you, you piece of shit? When I’m done with you, you won’t have any goddamn teeth left in your mouth.”

  His punches came harder, faster, until I was beaten down to the floor. He spit on me, landing his saliva on my swollen eyelid. “If you’re not man enough to make Thaddeus stop, no one will. He fucks you because you’re a pussy. He fucks you because you’re nothing. Find your goddamned balls and do something about it.” He kicked me in the ribs. I knew something cracked. I should’ve felt it, but I barely felt any of the pain anymore. I don’t feel anything after what Thaddeus had done, and kept doing to me. “I rue the day I ever stuck my dick inside your mother. You are an utter disappointment. You’re a worthless piece of shit she should’ve aborted.” He kicked me one last time before he walked away.