“Yes, that’s perfect. Thanks, it looks amazing.”
Kaleb comes in behind her with a case of beer. He stops and looks me up and down. “Johnson, that is a mighty fine-looking woman right there. You better treat her right.” Heat rises to my cheeks as he and Blaine fist bump. Then Kaleb leans down and whispers in my ear, “If you ever dump him, I’m available.” He gives me a wink and walks away.
That was just the ego boost I needed after my strange kiss with Blaine, and I puff my chest out a little.
Blaine calls out from the kitchen, “Tara, what can I get for you?”
“Beer, please. I hope you have more than what we brought. I feel the need to rage tonight. Look out. Yee-haw!”
I look over at Kaleb and wonder what he thinks of that. Of course, Tara is probably one of those drunken women who like it wild and crazy. Recalling a few nights of my own in that state, I guess it’s just fine. Or not. I flash to Blaine’s discomfort moments ago. But Kaleb arranges the beer in the ice and doesn’t even seem to notice. That’s a guy who gets his girlfriend.
Megan and Nick have arrived, and I walk over to the door to see if they need help. They’re still in the driveway, and Megan’s hands fly all around as she talks. I can’t hear what they say, but it looks like a fight. I sigh and move away from the door. I hope it’s nothing serious.
Moments later, Megan steps through the door. “Hello! Hello!”
I greet her with a hug. “Great to see you. Should I put one of those in a girly glass for you?” I grab the package of wine coolers out of her hand.
“Yes, please. I really need it tonight.”
I squint my eyes at her, and I grab her hand. “Come with me.” Her fingers are small and cold in my hand as I pull her into the kitchen. I reach up in a cabinet and pull out a chocolate truffle. The foil wrapper crinkles as I undo it and say, “Open.” I put it on her tongue and say, “Don’t speak, just taste it and let the medicinal properties work.”
I watch as she tastes chocolate. Then she bites into it, and I know the most amazing ganache oozes out with creamy, sweet flavor to invade her mouth. Her eyes get big, and she says, “Oh. That was good. That was delicious.” She giggles. “I think that might beat sex.”
“There’s more if you need to take them home tonight.” I tease. I hand her a wine cooler in a pink-rimmed martini glass.
Nick sticks his head in the kitchen. “Hey, Casey.” I give him a quick kiss on the cheek. He glances over at Megan, but she glares at him, so he disappears. I don’t ask.
Dinner goes well. I’m so busy making sure people have what they need and assisting Blaine, the grill master, I notice I’m not drinking. I dump my warm, flat wine cooler down the sink and fill my blue-rimmed martini glass with a fresh one. The bubbles tickle my nose as I take a sip.
I stand by the sliding glass door to the deck and gaze out. It’s dark now, and Blaine must have lit the candles. I watch firelight dance over happy faces. For dessert, I made strawberries dipped in dark chocolate and fresh whipped cream. Nick brushes by me with a plate full of strawberries and walks toward Megan. She’s on her second wine cooler and appears to be over whatever it is they fought about. He takes her by the hand as he sits in a chair and pulls her into his lap. Their voices are low as they talk with heads together, and he feeds her a strawberry. When he kisses her, it turns into something more than casual, and my insides flutter a little.
Tara slides up next to me and slips her arm around my waist. Her vanilla spice perfume surrounds us, and in a voice that’s too loud, she says, “Aww, look at that. They’re so cute.”
Megan comes inside and reaches into the ice for a beer. Water runs down the side of the bottle as she pulls it out.
Tara says, “Dang, girl, you have that man wrapped around your little finger!” She sighs. “I’ll bet you know how to make him crazy with one little thing.”
Megan rolls her eyes. “He’s so easy. All I have to do is kiss his neck, and he melts like butter.” She hugs herself and shudders the slightest bit. “I do love butter.” There’s an evil smile on her face.
Tara gulps her beer. “I love finding the magic button. First you get to search.” She wiggles her eyebrows at us. “And that part is fun. But for me, knowing I can bring Kaleb to his knees whenever I want? That’s power.” She raises her beer high and takes a swig.
Megan looks over at me. “What’s Blaine’s magic button? Because you sure found it.”
Hell if I know. “Ah.” Warmth flushes my face as I try to think of a way to avoid the question.
Tara puts a hand on my arm. “You don’t have to tell us, sugar. Sometimes those things should be kept a secret.”
Megan tilts her head at me. “Do you know he doesn’t even flirt with other girls? They try. Believe me, they try, and he reacts as if he has no interest.”
“I know!” Tara pipes in. “Kaleb told me the other day rumor used to be he’s gay. Can you imagine that piece of beefcake being gay? It would be cruel and unusual punishment, if you ask me.” She takes another sip of her beer.
Now there’s no doubt Tara’s drunk, and this isn’t a comfortable conversation. I need to end it. “Speaking of my gorgeous man, I’m going to go find him.” I wave my fingers at them and walk out to the deck.
I step into the cool night air and take a deep breath. My stomach flips as I think about what Tara said. What if my problem is that Blaine is gay? I glance over at him to realize he’s a little drunk too. He’s more animated in his stories and quicker to laugh. I’m fascinated, so I join the guys. They’re talking about a female instructor and how she couldn’t control a class of boys. I half listen and watch Blaine. Gretchen’s words are in the back of my mind. Just make sure you aren’t seeing only what you want to see. Right now I see a happy guy enjoying his friends. I wonder what I’ll see later tonight.
18
The party goes on until late in the night. I’m the kind of hostess that cleans all night long, and I wash dishes and platters to hand them to the owners as they leave. By the time everyone is gone, there isn’t much left to do. Bottles clink as Blaine finishes gathering them. I glance around the kitchen and say, “We’re done. Thanks for all the help. I think people had a good time.”
“I’m sure of it. Your friend Tara’s quite a firecracker. Did you enjoy yourself?”
“I did.” I have no doubt Tara is screaming right about now. That woman would have done Kaleb on the deck if he hadn’t reined her in. I smile thinking about it. I have sex on my mind too, and I hope that’s a good thing.
I step toward Blaine with lust in my eyes. I drag my finger down his T-shirt to the waistband of his jeans and leave it there. “Want to stay?” I continue on just under his waistband. He takes my hand away and puts his other arm around my waist as he leans down and kisses with passion. Oh God, this is good. When he nibbles at my lips and moves down my neck, my legs get weak. He moves over to my shoulders.
Whispering in my ear, he says, “Yes.”
My hand is warm in his cool one as I lead him to the bedroom. It’s dark, but moonlight allows us to see. It’s time for a little sex ed with Casey, and I say, “I want to feel you naked.” I stand across from him to take off my shirt, and cotton rustles as he takes off his. I unbutton my jeans and wiggle out of them so that they land on the floor with a soft thud before I step out. I’m wearing a thong, and my finger strokes the silky lace as I slide it across the waistband. “Recognize these?”
When Blaine chuckles, I reach for his chest, and I run my hand slowly down over his warm skin. Goose bumps form under my fingers, and when I get to his jeans, the metal button is hot. His stomach quivers as I slowly unzip, and Blaine’s breathing is erratic. He’s into this, so I slide the jeans off, leaving him in his boxers. When I stand up, I kiss him and press my hips against his. His hairy torso caresses mine, but I’m acutely aware he isn’t hard. I reach a hand into his boxers and hold him. His cock pulses in my hand, and I take it as a good sign, so I squeeze and stroke. Blaine jerks away with a g
asp and lets out a moan.
He takes my hand and leads me to the bed, where he lies down, and I climb over him. With a knee on either side of his chest, I remove my bra and drop it on the floor as I say, “Touch me.” The moonlight shines on his face as he gazes at me in awe. I watch as he cups my breasts and squeezes. I take his index finger and flick it across my nipple a few times, and it peaks. I say, “Do that to me with your tongue.” I lower myself to his mouth, and a shudder goes through me as he does what I ask. Heat smolders in my core.
I rise up to straddle him, but when I grind slowly, I realize he’s flaccid. That’s okay. I’ll keep trying to find his magic button. Maybe a blow job is what he needs. Back up on my knees, I reach for his waistband and slide his boxers down to take them off. I’m careful to drag my hair along him as I do. I never worked so hard to seduce a man, but this one’s worth it. His musky scent intoxicates me. The bed creaks as I lean down to taste him. But before I get there, he clasps his hands on my head to stop me. I’m frustrated but tamp it down as I rise up. In a slow, gentle voice I say, “Tell me what to do. I’ll do it. Just tell me what you want.” And I would. Whatever this man needs from me, I’ll give it to him.
“I can’t.” There’s desperation in his tone as he says it again. “I can’t.” Blaine sits up and retrieves his boxers.
“Blaine?” I reach out to touch his shoulder, and he flinches, so I ask, “Why?”
“I... it’s just not working.” He has his underwear over his lap.
“Talk to me,” I say. “What makes it work?”
“I don’t know. I was ready when you touched me. But then I wasn’t.” Blaine lets out a big breath. “I can’t explain it.”
Tara’s voice speaks in my head. “Rumor used to be he’s gay.” I ask, “Blaine, do you feel something when we kiss?”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you feel heat, a twinge? Do you usually get hard when we kiss?”
“I...” Blood drains from his face. He doesn’t want to answer. “Sometimes. Usually?” He pauses. “No,” he says in a soft voice.
“Are you? Might...?” I rake my fingers through my hair. There’s no good way to ask this. “Are you gay?”
“What? Of course not!” He stands up, and heavy footsteps move across the room. Turning back to me, his brow is furrowed. “Do you seriously think I would choose to be gay?” He steps into his boxers, and I hear the waistband snap on his body.
I sit up and glare at him in the dim light. “Choose? What century are you living in? People don’t choose to be gay. Any more than people choose to be straight.” Now I’m a little pissed too.
“Yes. They do.” The chair groans as he sits in it and drops his head in his hands.
I walk over, and the carpet is rough under my knees when I get in front of him. “Blaine?” Tears burn in my eyes. “Is it me?”
He lifts his head. “Oh, God, Casey, no. Don’t.” His hands are cold on my face. “I love you. Marry kind of love. I want you to be the mother of my children. It’s not you.” Tears glisten in his eyes.
“Then we need to figure out what it is, because I can’t do this anymore.” I’m crying and don’t want to stop. I get up and move over to the bed to sit. A tear slips over my lips, and I taste the salty residue as moonbeams surround me.
After a few minutes, I’m done crying and Blaine is still in the chair. I make my way over to him and discover his face is tear-stained too. He asks, “Do you want me to leave?”
“No. Not unless you want to.”
“I don’t.”
I reach out my hand, and he takes it. I lead him to the bed, and we both crawl in. He pulls me close as I turn away so we can snuggle the way we like to. It’s a comfortable position, and I pull his arm tight around me as if I’m afraid he’ll let go. I can’t let him, because this is all I get for intimacy, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to lose that too. After a few minutes, he whispers, “Casey?”
“Yes?”
“I’m so sorry. I promise we’ll figure this out. I love you. Please don’t give up on me.”
My heart breaks a little bit more. Tears fill my eyes again as I whisper in a shaky voice, “I won’t.” I take his hand from under me and kiss it before I set our hands down on the bed. Moonbeams stream in from the window to fall on our fingers. They look dead.
The next morning, sunlight coaxes me awake. I open my eyes to it shining into the room much like the moon had. I listen to Blaine’s quiet snore, and I ache for him. I’m not sure what’s going on, but I’m not giving up. It hurts to think he thought I would. I stroke his hair, and he opens his eyes. At first his eyes are full of joy, but pain encroaches. I want to take it away the only way he’ll let me, so I slide under the covers and cuddle up to his warmth. His morning stubble is rough under my finger as I trace the outline of his lips and ask, “Do you really want to have babies with me?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Can we have one boy and one girl?”
He smiles. “Yes.”
“And can they have your beautiful blue eyes?”
“As much as I want to say yes to anything you want, no. One has to have your eyes. And your hair.” He twirls a strand of it and tugs playfully. “I want a little girl with adorable curls just like yours.”
There’s so much love in his eyes my heart sings, and I roll over on my back to hold his hand up and trace the lines in his palm with my finger. “Can we decorate our house with tons of tacky Christmas decorations during the holidays?”
“Yes.” He chuckles.
“Good, because I want a huge blow-up Santa. And I want you out there on Thanksgiving weekend in your awful dad sweater putting it up. Okay?”
“Deal.” He leans up on his elbow and looks down at me. “Casey, God gave you to me, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy.” His eyes glisten, and he whispers, “I love you.” His lips touch mine.
My body shivers when I slide out of bed, and I grab Blaine’s T-shirt to hold it up to my nose and inhale. Another tremor runs down my spine. His eyes dance, watching me, and I slip it on over my head to let his essence surround me. “Don’t move,” I say. “Well, you can go pee, but you better be in this bed when I get back.” I give him a stern look with a twinkle in my eye.
“Got it.”
I return with two steaming mugs of coffee and last night’s strawberries and cream on a tray. I want everything to be okay again, so as much as I’m tempted to feed him and lick whipped cream off his lips, I know this isn’t the time. Instead we tell stories from our childhood.
19
A summer breeze blows hair around my face. My sunroof is open, and I’m headed to a new housing development for my job. It’s a bit off the beaten path, and the houses aren’t even done yet. I’m dying to call Gretchen. But I can’t. She’ll want to know about the sex piece of my relationship with Blaine, and I would never share what happened. It’s way too personal. I sense if I tell her we’re working on it she’ll scold me again, and I just don’t want to go there.
Oh my God, he wants to marry me! The urge to scream it out to anyone who’ll listen overwhelms me, but I have to keep it my delicious little secret. It’s not exactly official. I pout, thinking I have nobody to share it with.
My work assignment is to get location shots to go with the sketches the development company provides for the listings. I pull up to the first lot and turn off my car. No need to take the key out of the ignition; nobody will steal my car out here. I step out and take it all in. Evergreen trees surround me along with the scent of pine, and the gentle tap-tap of a hammer is in the distance from work being done a few lots down. I walk over to the framed house. I’ve seen the plans and can guess where the bay windows are going to go. Wow. The view of the Rockies is spectacular, and I raise my camera to take a few shots.
Instead of driving to each lot, I walk. The sun plays hide-and-seek with the clouds, and it’s a great day for pictures. People love the cabin-in-the-evergreens shot and a shot of the spectacular vie
w of the mountains complete with sun and a few clouds.
My footsteps are nearly silent as I glide down the dirt road. I repeat the series of pictures for the next lot. With a system now, this allows me to be lost in my thoughts, and I imagine what it would be like to live here. How peaceful it would be to sit on a deck with coffee. The hum of a band saw tells me the next property is where the men are working.
As I turn the corner in the winding road, it reveals Jason’s truck. I haven’t seen him since the day I was running, and my stomach flutters a bit. Plywood has been laid down in a plank to the entrance, and my footsteps tap out my approach. The saw hums and drowns out the sound of my entrance. I discover Jason as he cuts a long board. He’s shirtless, and his muscles are taut. With jeans slung low, the edge of his boxer briefs peek out, and my body reacts to the vision instantly. Heat simmers deep in my core, and I will it to stop. Damn my sex drive.
I walk over to the bay window area to take a picture. Hammering sounds come from the roof; the others must be up there. It’s suddenly silent as the saw stops, and I turn to Jason as he walks toward me. He lifts his safety glasses, leaving the eye area clean while the rest of his face is covered in grime, just like his goggle tan.
He smiles at me and asks, “Hey, what are you doing here?”
“I’m taking shots for the listing. I work for Mr. Jones now.” He’s close enough that his sweat tempts my nose. My body recognizes it and defies me while my fingers ache to touch him.
He tilts his head at me. “Want to go for a little walk with me? I have something to show you.”
My body says, Yes! Take me anywhere so long as you touch me. My heart says, I thought you were in love with Blaine? My brain says, What do you expect? You haven’t had sex in months. You’re lucky you haven’t attacked him. My brain makes me want to laugh. “Sure.”
Hearts on Fire: Romance Multi-Author Box Set Anthology Page 11