PAYBACK’S A BITCH

by Johnson, Missy

“And there’s definitely no chance of you and your step—”

  “Nope. Zero,” I assure him.

  He laughs. “Then why are you so upset?”

  “Because he’s an ass,” I retort.

  “So, it’s definitely not because he got one over you?” he teases.

  “No,” I protest.

  I sigh. How do I explain this to him?

  “It's like I was playing lotto and someone checked my ticket, taking away the dream of me winning.”

  “Now you’re likening this to lotto?” He chortles. “You’re fucking hilarious.” He giggles. “Who the hell doesn’t check their ticket, anyway? I mean, wouldn't you rather know if you’ve won?”

  “No,” I retort. “Not if the chances of me losing are higher. If I don’t check the ticket, then I can still cling to the tiny ray of hope that maybe I won.”

  “Okay, but you’re not going to know till you check it,” Linton argues. “What if you’re sitting on a winning ticket? What if you lose it?”

  “I know, but that’s my decision, not yours, or anyone else’s to make,” I snap.

  This was a really bad analogy to use because we’re both getting really worked up.

  “Before I knew it was Cameron before I met James, there was a chance the spark I felt might be there when we met in person, too,” I try and explain.

  “If there was a spark when you were texting and it was your stepbrother all along, then maybe what you’re looking for is closer than you think?” he suggests.

  “No,” I snap. “Nothing is going to happen between us because he is a giant cock.”

  Linton takes the hint. He rolls his eyes and sighs.

  “Okay, fine. So, your stepbrother is a dick,” he concludes. “What are you going to do about it?”

  “Let it fester for a couple of days, then get over it, and move on?” I say, shrugging.

  “Or you could get back at him,” Linton suggests. His eyes twinkle. “You said you didn’t fall in love with him, right?”

  I nod. “I’d be crazy to fall for someone that quickly,” I say with a smirk.

  “But he’d probably freak the fuck out if you did fall in love that fast, wouldn’t he?” he asks.

  My eyes widen as I get what he’s suggesting.

  “You’re a fucking genius.” I gasp.

  He nods. “I know. I just have trouble convincing everyone else.”

  I scramble to my feet, cursing, because my lunch hour was over five minutes ago. I’m sure Sarah is just waiting to have a valid reason to fire me.

  “Shit, I’m running late,” I apologize, grabbing my things. “Hey, we should catch up sometime for a drink? My friends would love you,” I add.

  “Sure, that sounds great,” he says, but then he winces. “Maybe in a few weeks, though? My schedule is crazy busy at the moment.”

  I nod, fine with that, because so is mine.

  “Thanks again for your help,” I say, waving at him as I jog back towards the building. My mind is already in full gear, trying to work out the best way to pull this off. I shake my head because it’s perfect. He isn’t going to know what hit him.

  Crazy, obsessed, and hopelessly in love with Cameron Hunter after a week of texting?

  I can rock the fuck out of that.

  Chapter Nine

  Darcy

  “What are you doing?”

  I look up and smile at Sasha as she squeezes through my bedroom door. She closes it then wanders over to my bed and sits down next to me.

  It’s Sunday afternoon, and I’ve spent most of the day working out my plan to get revenge on Cameron. Sasha leans over my shoulder to get a better look. I hold up my list and wait for her to tell me that she still has no idea what the fuck I’m doing. She finishes reading and then looks at me.

  “What the hell is this?” She frowns.

  I grin and swing my legs off the bed.

  “You were right about him,” I say.

  “What—” She stops and winces. “Crap. Text guy?” She lies back on my pillows and sighs. “He’s a dud, huh?” she asks sympathetically.

  I nod. “Yes, he is, but that’s not the problem.”

  “Then what is the problem?” she asks.

  “James doesn’t exist. It was Cameron all along.”

  “Your stepbrother?” she whispers, wide-eyed. She jumps up and starts walking back and forth in front of me.

  “One in the same,” I nod, not bothering to correct her that he’s not my stepbrother yet.

  “But I don’t get it.” She frowns at me. “Did he use a different phone? Wouldn’t you have recognized the number?”

  “Maybe, if I had Cameron’s number in the first place,” I say. I shrug. “We’ve had so little to do with each other to this point that I never had the need for his number.”

  “God, what an asshole,” she rants. She stops and turns to me, her eyes flashing with anger. I nearly giggle because she’s more worked up than I am. “Why would he do that to you?”

  I shrug. “I don’t know.” I raise my eyebrows at her. “The same reason you guys put the ad up in the first place, I guess. To mess with me?”

  “That was different, we didn’t mean any malice,” she argues, her cheeks tinging pink. “Besides, we’re your friends. You guys don’t even like Cameron. Are you gonna kill him?” she asks, narrowing her eyes. “Because I wanna help.”

  “No,” I say, a smile slowly spreading across my lips. “I’ve got a better idea.”

  “A better idea than killing him?” She crosses her arms, skeptical.

  I nod. “I’m going to make Cameron think that I’m in love with him,” I explain.

  “You’re going to make your stepbrother think you’re in love with him?” Sasha repeats. She laughs and nods slowly. “That’s actually pretty good,” she admits.

  “And not just happy, every day normal kind of love, either,” I add with an evil grin. “I’m going to make him believe that I’ve fallen head over heels, fatal attraction, stage five clinger, I want to bathe in his blood, kind of love.”

  She claps her hand over her mouth and falls back on my bed, crying with laughter.

  “Can you imagine the look on his face?” She gasps. “God, he’s going to die.”

  “I know,” I say, smiling. “Payback’s a bitch, right?”

  “It’s crazy.” She giggles. “But if anyone can pull it off, it’s you.” She reaches forward and picks up my notebook, studying it thoughtfully. “So, this is what you’re thinking?”

  I nod. “Just some things off the top of my head that will freak him out.”

  She nods her head thoughtfully.

  “These are great,” she says, looking back up at me. “But it’s not enough. You need to go bigger than this or he’s not gonna bite.”

  I frown at her, my enthusiasm deflating like a popped balloon.

  “What do you mean?” I ask.

  “You need to do something big,” Sasha says. “Before you declare your love for him, or he’s going to see right through this.”

  “Big,” I murmur, processing her words. “Like what?”

  “I don’t know,” she says with a shrug. “You’re the devious one. Kiss him or something. Have a moment where you give into whatever it is that you’re “feeling”, but then back right off.” She smiles. “Then you can tell him how in love with him you are.”

  I grin. “That’s brilliant. I’m starting to think you’re more devious than I am.”

  * * *

  It’s Monday morning and I’m up early, loitering around the kitchen. I’ve been waiting for Mom to get in the shower for the last half an hour and I’m starting to get frustrated. It’s the start of my weekend so I should be still asleep, but I’m too excited for that. I know I’m being very juvenile, but what can I say? Cameron brings out the worst in me. I just keep thinking about how awful I felt when I saw him sitting in that bar.

  Finally, Mom disappears into her room. I pounce on her phone and text Cameron.

  Paula: Any
chance you can come over? I need to talk to you about something.

  Cameron: Sure. When?

  Paula: Any time after ten this morning, if you’re free?

  Cameron: No worries. See you then.

  I smile and then delete the messages, leaving her phone where I found it. I know there’s a risk he might text her back again, but I just have to hope that won’t happen.

  * * *

  I grab a magazine from off the coffee table and sit down on the couch.

  God, I’m so anxious.

  I just want him to get here so I can get this over with.

  I’m not sure what’s making me more nervous, the thought of him catching me out, or the fact that I'm going to kiss him. I’ve kissed guys before. I’ve even kissed strangers, after the girls dared me to, but for some reason, kissing Cameron is different. I’m still trying to figure out why.

  I stare down at the magazine when I hear the door open, pretending to be engrossed in it. I see him out of the corner of my eye move across the room. I tense when he stares at me and then I look up at him. I don’t return his sheepish smile, I just raise my eyebrows at him instead.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask.

  “You mom sent me a message,” he says awkwardly. “She wanted to speak to me about something.”

  “Oh, right.” I nod. “She told me to tell you that she sorted it out. She found it, whatever that means,” I mutter.

  “Oh, okay.” He stands awkwardly in the doorway, then he walks over and sits in the armchair next to me. “Darcy, I’m really sorry. I never meant to hurt you or make you feel bad.”

  I look at him, then sit forward, so our knees are almost touching.

  “I guess I might have overreacted a little,” I sigh. I look down at the rug beneath the coffee table and breathe in deeply, then I release it loudly. “It’s just…” I shake my head and laugh. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “No, what is it?” he asks. He looks genuinely concerned about me.

  “Maybe it was just a bit of fun for you, but for me…” I let my voice trail off and then I laugh again. “Look, can we just leave it. Please?”

  I go to stand up. He does too, reaching for my hand to stop me from walking away. I swing back around to face him and find myself pressed against his chest. My heart races as I look up at him. I’ve lost sight of what’s real and what I’m forcing myself to feel, as I stare at those lips.

  I lift myself onto my toes and press my mouth against his. He doesn’t react at first, until I start to pull away and then he kisses me back, rolling his mouth over mine. My heart races as he cups my chin, tilting my head up so he can deepen the kiss. I shiver as his hand creeps across my cheek as he gently caresses my face.

  Fuck. I’m enjoying this.

  What was supposed to last a few seconds just keeps going, until eventually, we break away. I stare up at him, my head a whirlwind of thoughts that I can’t actually identify. I feel dazed, almost like that kiss was real. Until I remember what I'm doing. I laugh and lower my head, as if I’m annoyed at myself. I am annoyed at myself. Annoyed that I felt something just then.

  “That just made things a thousand times worse,” I mutter, meaning every word of it. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”

  I run outside and get in my car, then I drive around to the park. I used to jog every day, but since I started working, I’d been neglecting it. I get out and change into my running shoes that I keep in my car, and I log into my email at the same time. I bring up the saved email that I wrote to Cameron earlier and I press send, before I can second guess myself. Then I slip my phone into my pocket, lock the car and start my run.

  * * *

  I wait until the next morning before I start phase two.

  He still hasn’t replied to the initial email I sent him yesterday, which doesn't surprise me. He might not have even seen it yet. I schedule emails to send at various points throughout the day. There’s about ten of them in total, which become more insecure and unstable as the day goes on. I’ve also set up a series of texts, using an online text messaging service, which makes it seem like the texts are coming from my phone. I’m both creeped out and thrilled that’s even a thing.

  I walk into work, feeling pretty good about myself. Cameron is going to be inundated with calls, texts, and messages from me all day and I don't have to do a thing to make it happen. This stage of my plan executes itself. Add to them the flowers and the chocolate basket deliveries I have planned and one thing is for sure;

  Cameron Hunter is going to regret ever messing with me.

  Chapter Ten

  Cameron

  I frown at my laptop screen.

  I’m not sure what to think about what I just read, so I read it again.

  Dear Cameron,

  Arrogant. Rude. Asshole.

  That pretty much summed up my first impression of you. The next few times we met, that impression didn’t change much.

  James was the total opposite of you. He was funny, sweet, and kind. I woke up, excited for his messages and went to sleep thinking about him. I dreamt about him and the more I learned about him, the more I wanted to know. I told myself I wouldn’t get past the point where I was in too deep, not before we met at least. Then before I knew it, I was there.

  And then I learned James was you.

  At first, I was angry, but then I realized that you couldn’t have made that part up.

  Everything I thought I felt for James, I was really feeling for you. Finding out that it was you I’d been sharing those moments with? It broke my heart because I knew you weren’t capable of feeling what I was feeling. Every bit of hope I had invested in us crumbled in that one split second.

  When I saw you sitting at that bar, I felt like my world had fallen apart. Because I was falling in love with you. I don’t even know if you’ll read this or if you’ll care, but I had to get it out. Maybe now I can move on and forget about you.

  Darcy.

  I sit back on the couch, not sure what to do with this.

  Is she being serious?

  This is the last thing I expected to find in my inbox, especially for an email account I haven’t checked since I replied to her ad. I’m not even sure what possessed me to check it today, but I did. We’d barely been chatting for a week. She couldn’t possibly have fallen that hard, that quickly, could she?

  I shake my head. No. No fucking way.

  She’s obviously just trying to mess with me.

  But then she did kiss me.

  I click back out of the email, remembering there were another couple of emails waiting for me from Darcy. Actually, make that four, because in the ten minutes I’d been reading the first email, another two had dropped in, plus five texts messages waiting on my phone.

  What the fuck is going on?

  I run my hands through my hair and groan, anxiety pooling in my stomach. Every guy is secretly terrified of finding the crazy girl and I think I’ve just hit the jackpot. My mind is screaming do not engage her, but she’s going to be family soon. I can’t just ignore her, right? I have to reply with something.

  But if I do reply, it might just encourage her and lead to something even worse.

  I rub my head and sigh. I’ve got no idea what to do. The only thing I do know is that it’s too early to deal with this. I stand up and stalk back down to my room, slamming the door shut.

  Maybe if I go back to bed, all of this will just resolve itself.

  * * *

  I roll over and crack open my eyes when the doorbell rings.

  What the fuck…

  I fumble for my phone to check the time, but I’m distracted by the fifteen fucking messages she’s sent in the last two hours. Fifteen? What could she possibly have to say that warrants fifteen text messages? I’m not sure I want to know. I’m too afraid to check my email, because God knows how many of them there are waiting for me.

  “Fuck,” I hiss.

  The doorbell rings again, reminding me that that’s what woke me up in the first
place. I jump up, throw some pants on and then walk down to answer it. I open it to find a guy who looks way too happy to be delivering flowers. He holds up a bouquet of roses and beams at me.

  “Well, someone is popular.” He chuckles. “This is our largest bouquet.”

  “Lucky me,” I mutter.

  He hands me the flowers. I frown and scribble my name on the electronic pad he holds out for me.

  “You have a great day,” he comments, grinning at me.

  Unlikely, given how it’s starting off.

  I shake my head. I don’t even have to look to know they’re from her. But still, I decide to torture myself by opening the card. Just as I thought, it’s from Darcy.

  C: If you reject me, my heart will shrivel up and die, just like these flowers will. Love D xx.

  “What the actual fuck?” I growl.

  Is she serious?

  I laugh. No, this can’t be real. I toss the flowers on the counter and study the card again. It’s just as ridiculous the second time reading it. I’m torn over what to do here. She’s clearly unstable. Forget working at Emerald Lodge, I think she needs to be admitted.

  The question is, do I reply or ignore her?

  The doorbell rings again, cutting through my thoughts. I jump up and walk over to it. I consider not answering, but then for whatever strange reason, I do. Another delivery guy stands there, this one carrying a huge basket of candy.

  “Cameron Hunter?” he asks.

  Sighing, I nod in defeat and then I sign my name.

  “Thanks,” I mutter, taking the basket from him.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever had someone look so annoyed when accepting one of these.” He chuckles. “I mean who doesn’t like candy?”

  I close the door in his face. These upbeat, annoyingly happy, delivery guys are starting to annoy me more than Darcy is. I put it on the counter with the flowers and then stand back to study them. There’s another note sticking out of the basket, so I reach forward and snatch it out.